Do you consider AV Sex Cheating on your real life Spouse if the flame has gone?

Did he just say he considers what he is doing as cheating? I don't know what it is he is doing btw...I have NEVER in my life known a cheater to say he is cheating! That would be like going to a meeting and saying, Hi, I'm so and so, and I'm an alcoholic! I am blown away . . . do I give you kudos for honesty in this matter or shame for dishonesty in another? I just have to push the wheelbarrell over to you to help you carry your balls.

WOW!

Adultry comes from relegion you know and only Virginia enforces Adultry as a crime

there is a rule in usa you can not marry more then one wife how ever you may havea polygraphic relationship but polygramy it self is illegal

Polygraphic- http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=polygraphic

Polygramy- http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=polygramy (It's not a real word)

Av sex is cheating on yourself ;0

No, cheating on yourself is using your other hand.

Interesting poll. Especially since this has been a question which was going around my head a lot these last weeks. Everything has been said, I fear. Can't resist from adding my 0.02L$, though. Everything has been said in some way or other ... but this is my personal essence of it

1. Most important for me is the fact that its not the 'sex' that is relevant for the question. What happens in SL when two AVs are using the right pose balls is ... I don't know what it is, but at least it is not physical sex.
   
   
2. If I am beeing 'unfaithful' when getting involved with something like that in SL depends on two things:
   - the aggreement within my RL marrriage (or other partnership), and
   - much more on the feelings that are involved
   than on the poseballs choosen to express this feelings in SL.

Which doesn't make it any easier to know whats 'right' or 'wrong' for me personally (because I don't believe in one single 'right or wrong' for everyone on this planet). I am new to SL. I am married a long, long time. Its not a bad marriage, but - like in that poll question - the flame has died. And I miss that flame. I tried to rekindle it. But ... Maybe I did not even knew how much I missed it, before someone seduced me in SL. When I use 'seduce' I do not want to imply that it happened against my will. I was willing

And for what happened, poseballs or 'pixel sex' was not very important. Especially not to the question if I was unfaithful in my marriage or not. I think I was. And I am still not sure what to do about it. And I am not sure if I don't want it to happen again - in SL or in RL

BTW: I don't think that SL adds a lot to the questions involved with 'faithfulness' in a partnership; maybe some funny details which might sound absurd to someone outside. But all in all its the same questions which arise in RL since many thousand years ...

IT's not what fuels your loins that counts it s what fuels your MIND.

I think that your probably indicitive of quite a lot of people in Second Life. It's not adultry at all,its looking for that certain spark again,something thats missing from a physical relationship where the body is willing but the mind is bored to death.

Stimulating someones mind is not quite the same as going down to your local bar looking to cheat on your spouse now is it.

Does Second Life prove that sex is all in the mind? I think it goes a hell of a long way to doing just exactly that because lets be honest here,your sexual partner in Second Life can claim to be just about anything they like but the reality is probably very different BUT - you dont consider that for even a second because of what they do to your imagination.

IMAGINATION - for someone to say that AV sex here is cheating really defies logic.If truth be told its just another way to masturbate,just another fantasy.And of course I realise that your partner here is a real person but then again - dont you have real people in your masturbation fantasies anyway?

Well if you are looking for a purely legal definition, then avatar sex is not considered adultery in any state in the United States. I will quote specific statute from one state which defines adultery under criminal law:

944.16 Adultery. Whoever does either of the following is guilty of a Class I felony:

944.16(1)
(1) A married person who has sexual intercourse with a person not the married person's spouse; or

944.16(2)
(2) A person who has sexual intercourse with a person who is married to another.

Sexual Intercourse defined:

Vulvar penetration as well as cunnilingus, fellatio or anal intercourse between persons or any other intrusion, however slight, of any part of a person's body or of any object into the genital or anal opening either by the defendant or upon the defendant's instruction. The emission of semen is not required.

Now divorce is a civil legal proceeding, but the courts would likely rely on any statutory definition established to define the terms of said case.

Having said that, pretty much anyone can a divorce with or without a charge such as adultery.

Funny about two years ago I read a news article about a couple that got divorced. The wife was a stay at home mother. The kids were at school and she would get online and have Cyber sex. She would only have cyber sex with a person 2 times because she didn’t want the other person to think something “real” was forming. Well her husband found out. He filed under adultery and he won every thing. She got nothing out of the deal. Now the question is if this is right or wrong I can not say.

For me and mine Cyber sex is just a form of Sex. Phone Sex is the same. Now we have a open relationship so it really does not mater. I have gotten calls from friends wanting me to come on by when the wife was working. I would call her (She had a part time night job) and ask if it was ok. One couple we had both give the 100% ok any time for. Even with them I called and asked.

I say Cyber sex in most forms is not cheating!

Side note we need a scrip that will work with some of the new PC sex toys. They have out some new sex toys that you plug in to your PC and the person on the other end controls what it does to you. Now if we can just get that to work with SL. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm OK that could be cheating. LOL

Other side note we have had Married Men and Women ask to join us. We always ask if there spouse knows about them playing. If they tell us no, then we tell them no because it is cheating and lying and that is wrong.

Theres a saying that the largest erogenous zone is that between your ears. SL proves that quite effectively

And because it arouses feelings, that I reserved in the past to be had exclusively inside of my marriage, I still think its a form of unfaithfullness. Because its not comparable to sexual fantasies. There is another person involved. If this person is 'real' ... don't know. What is 'real'? Its real for me and much more than a cloud of pixels. It is more than just a picture in my mind. Its a HUMAN!

The really annoying thing about this is that I consider it cheating but my wife doesn't.

Anything you hide from your spouse is generally cheating you and your marriage.

There are lots of things I don't tell my wife that I never think twice (or even once) about, but as soon as I start thinking about it, I usually say something.

Blaze I would of loved to answered this poll but its realy 2 questions in 1. If the flame is gone seek help in rl not threw an online experience/ game. Is it cheating? Well that depends on a couples definition of cheating.

As painful as it may be its still best to be honest with everyone, upfront and let everyone involved have a say as to what is allowed and what isn't. To each their own.

Cat

If sex in SL is cheating, then couldn't a profession in SL put you in jeapordy of losing your job?

Nah, I'm just kidding. I'm new to SL and haven't had SL "sex" but emotional feelings and some in-game actions do make me feel just a little bit guilty.

The problem I have is that if I'm honest with my girlfriend I fear she won't want me to play SL at all, and then I would miss out on so much more than just the relationship side of things.

Upside is I'm not married yet That doesnt happen for another few months and I think before then I'll either be honest and open up to her, or (i hope not) put SL relationships in the past.

Yes its cheating.

If the marriage has degenerated to a certain point, you may feel justified. You may even in fact BE justified. But that doesnt mean its not cheating.

If you are in some sort of open relationship .. even if its just open to online partners , then its excused cheating. Your partner probably does cheating you excuse also in that situation.

Cheating is having sex with someone who arent married to. Cyber sex , Oral Sex, Manual Sex , Phone Sex ... the word sex is there for a reason.

now however .. Two avatars being animated to have sex while you run off to make yourself lunch .. thats not really sex.

AV sex isnt really sex unless theres cyber sex involved .. or voice chat sex.

In Real life sex the communication is Touching , in phone and voice its spoken words and sounds and in cyber sex its typed words. Without any connection through communication to that other person its just an animation.

My answer: no
My girlfriend's answer: yes

you guessed it, today isn't a good day for me Serves me right for telling the truth.... women

I myself have a policy against getting involved with married women online. I also have a policy against getting involved with people who have SL partners. This has been a hard policy to adhere to and has cost me some very good freinds and relationships in SL.

I have heard ad nauseum the argument that it is only a game, and that SL relationships aren't real. But for me its not the sex that is cheating, its the sharing of intimacy and all that takes is words. I often ask myself, if she is married, shouldn't she be having this conversation with her husband?

For me its not really tied to any judeo-christian moral position, it is more tied to what is fair for me. In all honesty I have met very few women in SL who are ok with the idea that I am going to sleep around on them. In general, it has been my observation that people in SL are looking for committed SL relationships. In one case A woman flat out told me she was looking for her one true love on SL, and then later she confesses that she is married IRL, but has plenty of affection to go around. I broke the relationship off. My expereince has been that most married women who come into SL are looking for a committed, faithful SL lover to give them what thier RL husband won't. To me they are looking for docile stable pony's.

I guess for me it sort of boils down to the fact that I hate being second place to an IRL husband. I am not a sexual stable pony, I am a real person. Yes SL is a game, but yes we have real coversations and exchange real feelings here. At a minimum, I spend time talking to a person. I do not at the end of the day, want to invest time and giving into a person in order for them to tell me "My hubby is demanding me now." Its not fair to me, to her, or her hubby. I don't agree with the notion of open relationships in my life, so I don't participate in them-IRL or in SL.

The second portion is this: If I am spending my time in SL with someone who is married, then I have no chance of spending time with someone who isn't. Now I am not really looking for a relationship in SL, but I certainly don't want to close the door entirely. Any relationship may go nowhere, that is true. But If I am going nowhere, I would still rather go there with a single woman than a married one. At least with the single woman there is a chance. No matter how remote.

Finally, I try very hard to be an honest, decent guy. Playing online with a married woman goes against my personal sense of honor. So I don't do it.


I suppose, in the right circumstances, if someone I liked enough wanted to play around and cyber, and they understood I was only giving to them what I got from them. I might consider it. Sex without strings is always a good thing. However, I have yet to have that experience in SL. So no married women for me.

My wife knows and me and her both know that is nothing but a game nothing more to me cause I don’t look to talk to u in msn, yahoo or aol messenger unless I just can’t get on sl and need to tell some one I want make it to host my event then that is cool in my eyes, but to stay up after u turn the game off and set in the messenger talking means u are going to far next there will be phone calls and so forth when it gets there then it is going to far in my eyes...now don’t get me wrong that is just my opinion nothing more…I love playing sl it is a lot of fun..

This link is good on this topic:

http://www.washingtonian.com/health/internetadultery.html

For people who are lonely or lacking passion in their RL primary relationship, meeting someone special in SL presents an incredible temptation. Who doesn't want to make a connection with someone wonderful? Someone who makes you feel great? To share an amazing sense of meaning and connection? We all want to love and be loved. To be needed, to be wanted, to share special moments, to relax on clouds and stroke each others' hair. That connection is exactly the same in RL and SL. If you love someone virtually, you love them.

But an illicit affair is doomed from the outset. Assuming it goes nowhere in RL the relationship creates excrutiating desire impossible to sate. And consummated in RL, the affair by its illicit nature creates even more dire emotional consequences for RL partners, for kids, everyone you love.

Moral judgements aside about whether it's wrong or right or whether it can be labeled this or that, by carrying on an affair, I ultimately end up inflicting psychic torment on people I care about, not to mention on myself.

All of which is easy to say. The heart still wants what it wants.

I think that as a general rule, if you find yourself thinking "does this count as cheating?" you probably shouldn't be doing it.

That pretty much sums it all up.

People who choose not to get involved with married people online do deserve respect, and it would be wrong to hide this information from someone.

But married people who do decide to cheat online .. let them suffer their own internal punishments. It is their life to mess up if thats the result.

Doesnt mean anyone has to think its right. Its just not their business.

ahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha.

"Oh honey, by the way, I have sex with people on line using three dee models."

I know if my (hypothetical) wife (current girlfriend) told me this, I would laugh at her.

I agree with this answer. Most people do know it is a game and can seperate sl from rl. the ones that spend all day on here this is there rl ..lol. Yes real feelings get involved. If my man knows i am have an online boyfriend or marriage then no it is not cheating. If you are online and do not tell your other half that u have a relationship on a sl game yes i think that is cheating rather the flame is gone or if it is still there.

Yes AV sex is cheating and it will put out any remaining flames. AV sexers are stupid, especially if you have a good thing sitting right next to you in real life.

Look Av sex is like drinking wine, if you don't like it don't do it. But don't think that makes other stupid for doing it. So if all you have to offer is platitudes on teh merits of av sex. Siddown.

As far as cheating goes. Some people have open relationships IRL and enjoy wathing other people bang the bejeezus out of thier S.O. Maybe thats not cheating. Who knows. The point is that you gotta be considerate of the feelings of others when you are in an SL relationship or and RL relationship. I cannot speak to the quality of your relationship, or whether or not it is open, or whether or not ave sex is consensual or whether I should separated RL from SL. If you are married or involved IRL or in SL I am not going to play around with you. Its easier and I don't feel like an ass when you tell me you can't talk cause your husband is mad about the time you spend online. Its my choice.

All I amsaying is keep it real with the people you meet online and let them decide how they want to react. You owe it to them to be upfront about things, and to be graceful when they decline to partake of your open, non cheating relationship.