Do you consider AV Sex Cheating on your real life Spouse if the flame has gone?

This is an interesting topic, and also; if you have a partner in game and they are married in real life, should you know about it?

VERY interesting question.... I would say one should know if their partner has a rl hubby/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/slave/master lol whatever. Although people try to say its just a game, I have seen real life feelings get involved too many times. I think a situation like that is just asking for trouble.

Of course they should know about it.

Question is, are you really having Sex sitting in front of a Keyboard.

Example: You accuse your Spouse of Adultery in Court and your Spouse says, I never touched that person.

I will be interested to see how this poll shapes up, especially as it relates to the "It's just a game" arguement frequently thrown in my face.

I think "cheating" can best be defined as "breaking the established rules of the relationship". And these rules vary from relationship to relationship. If you are particularly puritanical, holding hands with someone else could be cheating. If you are are a wild n crazy swinger, then you may have to go away with your lover to the tropics for a week without telling your spouse before you cross the cheating line.

It can get really complicated when a couple feels the rules of the relationship are implied and never discuss it. I know a RL couple that got into an arguement when HE eventually found out that SHE didn't think oral sex was cheating (true story).

So to ME SL sex is only cheating if your spouse wouldn't approve. I personally wouldn't mind it as long as it didn't cut into Aimee sex time

-aimee

The real question is -

Does your RL Spouse considder it cheating, it doesnt matter one bit what you think =P

What she said.

Surreal

If I found my girlfriend strumming away, I'd ask to join in, at the very least. But seriously, it depends on what the groundrules are. But luckily I don't have a girlfriend, just lots of 'acquaintances'

IF the "flame" is gone, why arent you?

Cheating is cheating is cheating is cheating.
SL, IRC, whatever.

I once met a girl that said she "only kind of fooled around" on her husband.
She explained that :
As long as there is no act that could result in pregnancy... she hasnt cheated.

I asked if her husband was aware of her activities... Oh God No!
Would he approve? Oh God No!
Then you are cheating. Period.
That is the determining factor. Does the spouse know? Would they approve?
If either answer is no, you are cheating.

Yes, but would it be considered Adultery in a Court of Law pertaining to rights of Divorce?

Exactly Ferran ! My wife of 18 years would KICK MY ASS is she knew what I was doing on here. But, I do it knowing full well that it is cheating. I don't go out and do this irl, but that would not be much consolation to her.

If you want out of a marriage... there is a a varitable cornucopia of reasons.
You dont NEED adultery, virtual or otherwise.

Besides, what do YOU believe?
If you believe that fantasizing about another while pleasuring yourself is cheating... its cheating. I would suggest that by those terms, we all cheat.

Yes, however; one Spouse wants out of the marriage because of the Virtual Fling, the other doesn't. Does the Accuser have a Case?

What more needs be said? There's the answer as I see it, phrased as well as anyone could hope to phrase it.

Again I think it all depends on the limits of ur relationship.

If U are married & haveing SL sex, well to me it is just a game, just going throught the motions. But, if U r heart is in it & u really have feelings for the person u are with. That makes a big differance. then I would have to say that is cheeting.

Well I don't know how you could consider it cheating, Since words, and thoughts are only Human nature. There is no actual Sexual touch or connection during intimate forplay and or intercourse in SL. Unless you are masturbating during this process which would mean that yes you are in some way or other cheating . But then watching pornographic material is not cheating during masturbation. And I would say yes. Tell your spouse. And if it bother;s them. Drop them like a bad habit because Jealousy is a sign of weakness and also shows mistrust. Love comes with Trust

Ok this is more like legal advice here.
You have to spring for a lawyer, the laws vary from state to state.

I doubt that it would be considered Adultery though.

^^ Exactly what she said

A two part question.

One

When the flame is gone, my wife will be gone, why fool ourselves into staying together? It is not good for either party to be in a relationship you don't want to be in.

Two

Cheating is having a romantic relationship with someone other than your partner. Having sex is just the icing on the cake. If you are having a 'virtual' romantic relationship whether it is on SL, chat rooms, or over the phone, then yes, I would consider it cheating.

Now, if you can openly tell your RL partner what you are doing and he/she truly does not
mind, then I guess you are safe!

- T -

I'm married in RL and have a SL bf. They both know about each other. I feel that honesty is always best. Its the lies that make it wrong.

Imagine a RL married couple who own land, builds, and perhaps a buisness jointly in SL. Claiming adultry is going to be the least of their problems at the divorce.

Your honor, the virtual real estate in question is valued at $L 400,000. It resides on a server in San Francisco. The plantiff is also demanding custody of the Hot Sex Club and Escort Service located on that virtual real estate. The plantiff is also demanding compensation for time spent making her husband's female Avatar look less like a biker dyke from Georgia. (no offense meant to any actual biker dykes from Georgia).

Surreal

Lol.

I'm perpetually single in SL and in RL, but I would assume that most folks would consider an online tryst while you were married as "cheating".

But, then I suppose it all matters as to how much emotion you both put into it. If you're getting very serious with someone online, well, then it's definitely cheating. If it's just the occasional virtual sex buddy with absolutely zero emotional impact... ehhhh, is it cheating?

LF

I can only respond from my own perspective and I am not a lawyer, yet I am the law when it comes to me.

IF I caught my wife in a virtual fling, I would intially be pissed. But I know myself.
I would very quickly move to her motivation for the "virtual fling" and examine that.
What motivates the move to a virtual fling? I would suggest a lacking in some part of her life. One that she is seeking out in other avenues.
Is it me? I can fix me.
Is it her? Does she want to be fixed?

At some point you have to seriously consider an incompatibility that is beyond reconcile.
And if for no other reason than
"Just the excitement of a safe quasi sexual encounter online with a total stranger because I was bored" happens to be something the other party cannot come to terms with... then why do they deserve to be tortured daily by remaining married to someone they fundamentally disagree with on the subject of "virtual affairs"?

Now the other side of the coin:
If it were me and the wife found out, and I knew that it hurt her.
I would be devastated as well.
If it were an irreconcilable difference... why would I want to torture her by forcing her to remain married to me?
Even if our lives were otherwise perfect... the bottom line is... she disaproved and cannot get over it. She would never trust me again. Why would I want to remain in a relationship where I was never trusted?
So many reasons to say... why would I force ANYONE to remain in a situation they didnt want to be? ANd by NOT giving a divorce willingly, you are trying to Kidnap by forced marriage.