Do you consider AV Sex Cheating on your real life Spouse if the flame has gone?

please use paragraphs

Yes I was there at the silver dollar heheh...... awwwwwwwwwww thats so sweet

This is a question I'm gonna have to tackle from a few angles.

Q: Is AV sex cheating if the flame is gone?
A: As someone's already stated, if the flame is gone, why aren't you? This question, as originally phrased, has no validity. You'd have to be stupid to stay in a dead relationship.

Q: In that case... Is AV sex cheating, period?
A: Absolutely. You are making a decision to sexually interact with someone other than your spouse, game or not. To get graphic, giving someone a handjob isn't sex. So, is it therefore not cheating? Hmph. It's cheating, and you know it. There are plenty of things that constitute as sex... Real Life and In-World are just two more variations. Haha, I'm not wording this as well as I'd like, but I hope you get my point by now.

Q (Well, statement.): But, you have no legal case.
A: These sort of laws weren't quite designed with games in mind. Laws are made with ideas in mind... I can't say for certain, but out of the 100,000 or so Second Life inhabitants, I doubt very many are high-ranking, law-making government employees, eh? If they don't play, how can you expect them to pass judgement on whether or not in-world cheating is legal? A great many of the laws that DO exist are pathetic, let's not go relying on laws for making our decisions in our second lives, hm? Don't screw it up with an intense legal system.

... Well... I'm done whining now. See ya.

Die necro thread, die!


With a dry cool wit like that, I could be an action hero.

haha I already likes this guy kewl way of putting it into perspective.

Cat

From: Ferran Brodsky

The real question is -

Does your RL Spouse considder it cheating, it doesnt matter one bit what you think =P

What she said.

On a side note, my boyfriend once mentioned that he finds it a turn on if I seduce some poor shmuck online, telling him how much he means to me, how my world revolves around him, how sad that he lives across the continent away from me, typing all that stuff while receiving some hawt loving from my man.

Now my question, is it fair to that guy across the computer what I'm doing to him?



How egregious an offense it is depends upon how much you let SL seep into your RL. If it is "just sex", then it is very similar to pornography, in that the other person is your porn-actor/actress. You do your bodily function, and go about your business. However, if you develop a relationship with this person, and you are getting emotional fulfillment from them as well as sexual, then I think that moves into the realm of cheating.
Agree. ^_^ Mew.

Omg How Old Is This Thread? Why Dig It Up Now!

Why the hell dig up this thread when its been retired? Look at the first posting dated

From: Usagi Musashi

Why the hell dig up this thread when its been retired? Look at the first posting dated

I blame the stars. I can't help but reply when I see stars. XD heee.

Mew.

No it is not fair. Imagine yourself meeting a mysterious stranger online and slowly falling in love with him, you start to fantasize about the future meeting him and spending your live with him. Maybe even putting some parts of RL on hold because you think there is a future with your online mate, and then suddenly finding out it was all a joke and never had any plans to follow through. It would be heartbreaking.

happy birthday yuriko.

But Yuriko, does that mean that wild night under the Second Life stars meant nothing!?



Just kidding, kiddo... but... wah, you so baaad! I had no idea!

Anyway I'm thoroughly against you doing any such antics. Unless of course it boosts sales! The Victorian lines kinda whisper a little 'naughty'...

(and yes, happy birthday - when are you and your bf getting Second Life married, anyway?)

Mwah! Thanks for the birthday greeting. ^o^

Yep. That's the point. ^_~ If it's unfair to that guy across the pc, then how does an online relationship be considered okay to the RL significant other?



O_O err. are you sure that was me and not my incestous twin brother who goes around sometimes in girl's clothes?

But yes I can be bad. I'm actually very very bad. ^_~

As for the boyfriend marrying me in SL, unlikely. He doesn't play a lot so there's no real reason for us to get married in a game.

Mew

No. Next question please.

Wow when Blake wants attention he do anything! By bring up his post over and over again!

If the person who is doing it...and its JUST typing...then i'd say no its not cheating IF the spouse knows about it....my wife plays SL as well as me...and she actually was doing some cyber in there....and i actually peeked....she asked me if i was ok with it...and had said sure...you still belong to me...just be careful of what they ask about you...keep it brief...and anonymous. I was actually turned on by watching what my wife was typing back and forth with this young chap. A week or two later i actually engaged with a lady in such activities. It was fun to me.. and i told my wife about what i had said...what she said....fine details and such...i think that it actually put MORE spark in my wife and I's relationship in the bedroom....we can actually get ideas....input...and other very creative ideas for mature people...in turn we can also teach others about what others secret...or dark desires are and how they are not harmful to be exposed...how you present it matters the most...but again it depends on your relationship with you spouse....we agreed that Cyber in SL is no different than a CHOOSE YOUR OWN adventure book in sexuality. It is pornagraphy,Dirty Books..Dirty movies...it IS sex toys...it is masturbation, its natural...and best of all...no sexually transmitted diseases. This is MY opinion of this...and im just making some points...and speaking my mind...Communication with your spouse is essential...make sure you both agree...and love your spouse....he/she is supposed to be your best freind...so confide in them with all your desires and live a "Fantasy" in SL....thats what SL is all about..."Fantasy"...it is YOUR Second Life....Enjoy!

it's interesting to see that the same people on this thread who say that av sex is cheating also believe that if the flame is gone, you should be gone too. for me, the word flame means passion and euphoria and there will be many times in a relationship (especially long-term ones) when the 'flame' is gone, but it really is up to the 2 people in the relationship to reignite that flame. like scott peck (author of 'the road less travelled') said, love is not just a feeling but it is also an action. we have to work at love, it doesn't thrive on its own. and we don't stop loving our s.o just because we have become bored, if that's the case nobody would ever survive the 7-year-itch

that being said, i do not think av sex is cheating because i can differentiate between my RL and my SL, and i know how to keep them separate. i think in the end, keeping the two lifes separate is really the most important factor in anwering this poll.

How about this one? If you're with someone and this person has alts and cheats on you with them, but it's not cheating because "it's not the same person" Give me a break! I have to agree with some of the other posts. CHEATING IS CHEATING IS CHEATING no matter what, where, how, who, and why. If you're with someone, you're with them. If you want someone else. leave them and be with the other person. This isn't rocket science is it?

rl, sl, chatrooms, forums, email, snailmail, phone, whatever else can be thought of, whatever happened to devotion, trust, and love?

and no I'm not naive, just real!

This thread gets the award for the oldest living necro'd thread in history, doesn't it?

"Cheating" is a moral judgment. Sex in and of itself is not a moral issue, it's a biological one. However, lying, deceiving, or risking your partner's health ARE moral issues which can involve sex.

My philosophy is this: if I can't tell my husband I did something, don't do it. If my actions would hurt him, don't do it. If it would risk his health, don't do it.

That pretty much narrows it all down.

I thought the issue was the moral one rather than the legal one.

yikes - cant we have a no posting on same thread after 90 days have expired change


- think about it , even if it is cheating - so what? , who are you to pass moral judgements on others?

(applauds)

The first post was 12-30-2004. Then it was revived in 05 and again in Feb 06. Now in May 06.

It's a good topic, but what's wrong with a new header?

I view most of SL as porn personally, with the relaitonship I am in, we have agreed that porn is OK, we even watch it together sometimes. So I can go to the pleasure club and look at the pics on the wall, watch the dancers, that kind of stuff. But we(me a my RL gf) have agreed that there is a border to this, she would get upset about me flirting/sexing with other girls, I would get upset if she flirted/sexed with other guys (but not other girls). She prefers to use her imagination rather than look at porn and used to think my enjoyment of porn was weird since she was willing to satisfy whatever urges I may get, but we have both found that porn can be educational. Porn often gives us ideas for fun things we can do together that we might not think of without looking seeing it in a porn.

But SL is a gray area, it is hard to tell what is porn and what is flirting with another girl, I don't quite know how to handle it. I sometimes wish I had another computer so me and my gf could walk around SL together and figure this out. So here is what I do, I judge it case by case, some expriences seem innocent and I will do them, some things seem like cheating and I shy away from them. I enjoy SL as a medium for cybersex, so I make poseballs and I will help explain to a girl how to wear her tail and belly bling or whatnot, because I feel happy knowing I can indirectly help people enjoy their anatomy, but I won't cyber with them. When I see a neat pair of poseballs I will play with them, but not with just anybody. I make an effort not to flirt with other girls in SL, to make sure that we are both using this as porn and not forming a relationship, so that we can go, "hey why dont you try that on" or "lets see what these poseballs do" without it being thought of as a relationship. I like to take these fashions and these positions and try them out in RL, I can take these SL stimulations and bring them into my RL relationship. I use SL as a way to get ideas of how to have sexy fun with my gf, and sometimes other girls are helpful for that, in that they can contribute ideas on a garment I might be able to get for her, or a "pose" I could try with her.

I keep it in terms of "seeing and being seen", in the realm of trading ideas with people about how we can enrich our RL relationships. I am a pale skinned geek type person who is not very graceful in social situations, I'm a clumsy dancer and no fashion expert. I like using the computer and SL to improve these aspects of myself and enhance the relationship I'm in. These clubs and the avatars that I meet in them have shown themselves to be quite helpful for those purposes. I wouldn't get myself attached to any of these people beyond a friendship level though. Role playing that I am actually being with another girl is across the line of what I am willing to do, but I would be willing to trade ideas with people on what we think is sexy. I just make it obvious that any dirty talk and sexual behavior is not a relationship and that I dont have feelings for anyone but my gf, this is collaborative porn for me, and I won't play with people who try to take it beyond that level.

But still I quesiton whether I should be doing this, I've done things I learned in SL with my gf and she seems quite glad that I discovered them, I am not developing feelings for anybody but her, and I'm doing my best not to lead any avatars towards developing feelings for me, but still, it looks alot like pretend sex to an outside observer. I wonder if I am making the distinction strongly enough, or if I am just making excuses to justify being bad. This is something I feel that has not found a norm yet, for which it is not yet known what behavior is proper.

Completely off topic here...just want to compliment you on a wonderfully written reply, Mephistophelina (not just the quote above - the whole reply). Your reply is so elegant because it is succinct, but not terse while it indirectly conveys your own life experiences. Read it several times....fantastic!

-2fast

*lifts a page* AHH ZOMBIE THREAD!