Ok, can someone just tell me what is wrong with me?

yumi.... they never agreed it would not work, they thought it was a good idea, YOU said it might not work, so they did not push the issue with you. stop reading so much into it that is not there.

Did you ask them to help you? If not, then they did not refuse anything.

So... if I build something that is of interest to a group of people I am giving them something? I do not think so. I am offering them something (in your case a build) a place, to use if they want, there is a difference.

I am not quite sure what you are looking for here...
even when we spoke in world I am sure you could tell I was a bit confused.
Especially when you just about attacked me because I had never taken the interest or time, from my busy schedule to make the effort to see what it is you do/have in SL.

Have you taken the time from your schedule to visit the places each of us have, to take an interest in what we do, to step forward and say, hey I like that, mind if I help?

That is what it sounds like you want us/someone to do for you.

Honestly even if I had an interest in the build (which I do not, now that I know what it is) I just do not have the time, or energy to put into it, now that doesn't mean I do not think it would work, heck I even gave you suggestions of what to do to get the word out... but you shot it down... why? was it because it would involve you making the first move?

come on take a chance, contact the person I told you about, I am willing to bet you might get a bit of a surprise taking it in that direction. (and I would bet my SL that said person would not do it without you expressly saying you decided to give up, or that you were handing the idea over to them, said person has a rep for being a fair and honest person)

Take that chance, im them now, heck even tell them I sent you to them with the idea... what is the worst that could happen, they tell you... no thanks?

won't know unless you try and it might open a few doors you never expected.

No, she didn't.

It is OK for you to believe it wouldn't work. It's also OK for you to believe it will work. You had an idea, you have the right to believe whatever you want about it - it's all ok. And because either belief is legitimate, it wasn't her job to try to convince you one way or another.

But that doesn't mean she agrees or disagrees with you. It doesn't mean she wouldn't have helped you if you had asked. Those are all things you read into it.

It's easy to read things into what other people say or do. It's easy to read the wrong things into what other people say or do. It's a common problem, but one that can create severe communication failures. It's especially serious if you keep reading negative things into what other people say or do.

One other thing, Yumi. Whatever your feelings about yourself or your place in Second Life, most people don't know and don't care to know the creator of the stuff they buy in order to visit a shop or a pretty build. Second Life is a highly transient place, and if you have something people want, they usually don't care where it comes from so long as it's well made.

So make whatever you want, it doesn't matter if there is widespread interest, someone will come along and find it and buy it, if you actually care to market it.

hee.

('fraid I haven't heard the phrase in the 2nd bit)

Re: British humor: a lot of it doesn't, though I like Graham Norton (saw him live) and love Eddie Izzard (saw him sneeze).

@Yumi, to answer the question directly:

Yes they can and have been but you are not able to accept it.

There-in lies the problem, it is my opinion that Yumi is presenting as being in denial about this particular situation and exhibits some self-esteem issues.

The only piece of advice that has any chance of helping her is to convince her to go and talk about these issues with a qualified counsellor in RL who can over a period of time help her unravel why she deal with things this way.
Any other advice given on this thread whilst well intentioned and/or actually correct in the majority of cases is not going to help her nor change the way the Yumi deals with this kind of situation.
If giving her the answers to "why" was going to help then this thread and perhaps a few previous ones would not have happened as she would have been able to accept the advice people have already given her.
She does not seem to be able to accept that she needs to make changes in the way she approaches this kind of situation and feels only the dissatisfaction where that inability to accept leads her.

Yumi, it is clear that posting your questions here is not going to help you at all, I urge you to go and find a counsellor to whom you can feel comfortable asking these questions and who will be able to help you come to terms with the answers that these questions bring.

Very true.



Yup. I enjoyed that book when it came out. I too have been thinking wdyyb. When I was young I played it myself when fear of disappointment made me resist trying.



But you didn't get the answer you were looking for and you weren't the one who succeeded in making your idea come true. Those are facts. They won't change no matter what you or any of the rest of us say here. You can feel sorry for yourself about it as long as you feel you need to.


I'm sorry you weren't able to get any help from this thread. I think most of the others are too.



Very well put Gabriele. Probably not much more any of us can say.
Yumi, It's obvious you are suffering and I'm sorry we can't say anything to make it better. I hope eventually you will be able to escape the painful feelings you have now.

yumi: I'd like to make (something) but I don't think it'd be interesting.

They: It sounds pretty good, I'd be interested.
(interested indeed! goddamn why didnt i think of that first! well, i cant say the idea sucks, cos i want to use it for myself. i will say its 'pretty' good, implying that i merely say that because i am a friend.)

yumi: Sure, but I don't think it'd really work that well.

They: Oh, well, ok
(obviously it will work. i see a couple ways of implementing this product. wait... i can just keep the info to myself! best to bail on this subject as soon as possible. id like to get back to the shop and start working on this idea anyway.)

mate you got snaked. never trust this person again.
if i were you i would be plotting my revenge.

Yumi: I'd like to bake a pie, but I'm not a great cook
They: Oooh! I like pie. I'll pay for the ingredients and we can share it.
Yumi: It probably wouldn't taste that great if I make it.
They: Well, OK, I don't want a cake that tastes bad.

Afterwards They still fancies some pie, so They finds a recipe and has a try at baking one themself and it doesn't turn out too bad. They offers a piece to Yumi when she eventually returns, who spurns it and complains publicly that They made the cake that Yumi thought she wanted initially.

Pep (likes pie as well)

Yumi, you know I think your stuff is great. As you know, one of your products is unique and has meant the world to my SL visions.

Please don't let anyone get in the way of your creativity again; you have what it takes.

i missed that part where 'they' recommended a business partnership.
if this indeed was some sort of business partnership that makes it even worse!

Yumi is the one who got in the way of her creativity. She didn't believe in herself. It is her mistake, and it is not that person's responsibility to twist her arm into implementing her idea.

Yes, anyone can be ourselves for sure. No doubt about it.

Oh Good Grief! You pick her to pieces.... play armchair shrink ....then tell her she needs counseling because she's pissed that her BEEEATCH of a friend blatantly stole her idea.

Yumi - your BEEEATCH of a friend stole your idea. Get rid of her as a friend.

In the very least, a true friend would have sent you a note checking on you to see where the heck you've been....are you coming back....is everything ok....you know, I was thinking about that idea of yours, and would really like to help you with it....even though you weren't sure about it....if you're going to be gone for a while, I could go ahead and get started on some things for you, but since it was your idea, don't really want to just run with it.....without you....come on back, and let's work on this. In the very least.

"IF" you have some insecurities about implementing an idea....a true friend would grasp this....and not Sh%t on you. Some form of revenge can be sweet and cathartic....as long as you don't mame anyone in the process.

Keep your ideas to yourself....if you don't have the skills to pull them completely off...find someone to teach you the skills.....but keep the idea to yourself in the process. This happens every single day in SL to someone....you are not alone.....and 99% of them get royally pissed off, just like you did.

Some people are the idea producers.....some people are the implementers.....we all have our strong points. Being the idea producer....but not the implementor....is nothing to be ashamed of. There are people out there making millions with their ideas, who lack the ability to implement them...they simply hook up with someone they can trust to pull them off.....between daily visits with their shrink.....yeah right.

I don't know you from Jack....neither do 99% of the people who are psychoanalyzing you.....regardless of how many posts you've left here.....be careful about that, too.

Once she put the idea out in public, it belonged to anyone who heard it. Nothing was stolen, Yumi can still build her vision and then the best build will win. Simple as that.

Difference of opinion, there. I don't care if someone is a close friend or casual acquaintance or the general public. If they explicitly share their idea, one on one with me....I'm not going to run with it. I consider that stealing...and apply the Do unto others Rule.

But as I implied....my opinion and your opinion should be taken with a grain of salt.

I do not see the word "no" in "She said, "oh, well, ok.""

Or the indication of "No".

I see, at most, "oh, well, ok." If I was to try to "read between the lines", so to speak, I'd read it as "oh, well, if that is how you feel about the situation, I'm not going to force you to do something you do not really want to do."

I would not be comfortable, though, putting words into their mouth and would instead directly ask them to expand on their comment. At the very least if I thought they meant "no", and or, agreed that the idea wasn't really good, as you seem to read into their words, I'd directly ask them, not just guess, not just assume. As you have here. You have several times written what you really wanted to ask brillantly in this thread. I just wish you had asked that at the time and not just assumed one thing or the other.

If this thread is good for anything, it's made it clear which biz owners are advocates of "plotting revenge for perceived wrongdoings." Not that I'm a big buyer of furniture but it's always nice to know who to avoid supporting with my money in general.

its nice to realise who the people are that are cool with stealing ideas confided in them.

Yumi, I am going to share a bit of my own approach to SL and experience in it.

I've been around this grid a long LONG time. It's a huge place and it is very easy to begin to feel Isolated, Unwanted, Alone. In the end though if that is how you are feeling only YOU can change it. The Grid doesn't know or care there is an AV named Yumi on it. 99.99% of the residents of the grid don't know you exist, unless you make yourself known.

As for the business idea you had that someone else built. My own experience is that pretty much ANYTHING will sell, be visited etc. Its just a matter of doing it well and advertising it properly. So the advice about build what you want to build is not so many social platitudes, its simple fact. Build it, advertise it, keep updating and working on it, it will get a following. Now thats ALOT of work. Just be prepared to put in the time and effort.

I have probably had 50 businesses on the grid over my years. None closed for lack of sales. Most closed either because of LL policy changes or loss of interest on my part. Most because of lack of interest on my part. I have also given ideas to many many people even instructions on how to go about doing things. Some of them are very successful to this day. I am happy for them. I learned long ago in another online world that when angst from that world begins to create real angst in my real life its time to walk away or learn to write off whatever is causing the angst. NO ONLINE WORLD is worth upsetting your real life.

SL is still a fabulous place to make vague ideas into reality. But you have to have the drive to do it. IF you choose to share an idea with another person THEN you also have to accept that they might well decide to run with it themselves. I dare say its happened to most content creators in one way or another. Sometimes its a good thing that it DOES happen. I have got very good over the years at turning these situations into renewed drive, creativity and motivation and that is what keeps me in SL nearly 5 years and still creating.

LOL

Pardon Moi...for not having a thesaurus handy....and do realize it is a negative word. You can apply it in a healthy manner by making your stolen idea even better......or busting out 10 other great ideas....then kicking back and enjoying your new accomplishments and savoring the creative streak it just inspired in you. There is nothing wrong with some raw emotional energy firing up your creative flow. "Living well is the best revenge."

As long as you don't maim anyone in the process. I don't recall maiming anyone while secluded in the workshop....busting out coffee tables.

I'm looking at the thesaurus now.....and the alternative words do not look any "sweeter."

I also apply the concept that I preached....that 99% of you psychoanalyzing and twisting every comment that I make in forum are most likely way off base in judging me personally or judging my business practices, or just the simple fact that you disagree in opinion.......so it doesn't make a hill of beans or matter to me at all, whether you shop in my store or not.

Question to A:
"I'm considering making <explanation of idea>. Do you think it'll sell?"

A (thinking):
"That's one of the ideas I had in mind. If I tell her I already thought of it, she'll think I'm lying so I can use her idea myself. What the hell can I say?"

A's reply:
"Oh, well, ok."


It's just one of many possible reasons for that exact reply. I don't see how "No" can be inferred from it.

Oh, witty and it only took you 2 posts to think of it! Anyway, I stand by my assessments previously in this thread. You can spin that conversation as the other person plotting to discourage Yumi from sticking with her idea..by not falling on their hands and knees screaming "oh for the love of all that is good and decent in the world, please do this right now!" which is apparently the only sorta thing that doesn't mean "no" to her, or you can be sensible and realize that if you dismiss your own idea, people are going to think you, surprise!, aren't actually interested in doing it even if /they/ are.

Granted, given that I read your previous responses in this thread and see you apparently skipped over a lot of the content and have little clue as to what is actually going on (you took Pep's fake transcript and used it as a means to continue your attack? really???) I'm not surprised you're spewing venom as you are wont to do about, well, pretty much everything anyway.

ahhhh....I see some of that raw emotional energy surfacing now.....might I suggest an afternoon of coffee table making?