Ok, can someone just tell me what is wrong with me?

BINGO!

UGH. Jeeze, you do not learn AT ALL.

I think you get off on your own thoughts, being right in your own head.

Jeeze, there is shit all over your knee's and you still can't smell it.

FFS, go get professional counseling help, and stop asking strangers to explain to you what is wrong with you when you do not care to hear it but instead just want to read your own words.

Ok, so have you learned anything? Because I see a lot of wonderful suggestions here. What areas in your situation are you willing to take ownership of? After identifying the problem, next step is taking ownership of the problem before working towards resolution.

I don't see anywhere in your postings that you are moving in that direction. I see counterpoints when someone is making a suggestion. Example, Amaranthim's suggestion on post #296. You can say wow what a wonderful suggestion, I will do that for a week and return to report my findings. End of story for a week. But no....... you boomerang back to square 1. Or the passive/aggressive remarks you make. An example of this are the ones to Rha.

Give this a rest and try Amaranthim's suggestion. You may be surprised. Or is that too much effort on your part and you find it easier to whine woe is me?

Exactly! Great point! I believe that my first responsibility is to take care of my own needs as best I can so as to be the least possible burden on others.


I agree. It seems, Yumi, that you are trying so hard to be modest and selfless that you are going so far as to insist you can't do anything, even for yourself, unless other people are willing to put out a lot energy assuring you that they want you to. Which is actually a pretty big imposition on others.

This attitude is pretty common in people who have been shot down and under-supported a lot during their formative years. Also in people who, in their formative years, got used to being constantly cheered along, no matter what.

Sinetta, although I believe in assertiveness without aggression, and so wouldn't say it's necessary to actually be rude, I think your whole post has a lot of good common sense in it.

Bingo! This makes absolute sense.

This.

/me cries.

Listen to this man, Yumi.

But what if that IS what is wrong with you?

I remember what it was like to be young and very depressed. It made me too tired to try and help myself and it made me actually look for and focus on things that justified my inability to function. It was very hard to finally decide that if I was ever going to feel better I would have to make it happen myself, tiny painful step by tiny painful step. It took me about a year. And I have been a pretty strong person ever since. Knowing how it feels I wish so much to be able to say something to you to help you with that process.

If your problem is anything like mine was or even if it's something different. I really want to help. All I can think of doing is sharing my truth with you.

Here's my best advice - if my advice isn't helping IGNORE it.

Well when you go to a public place and make a pretty big deal about how someone else has hurt you, it isn't really surprising if that person's friends feel annoyed with you.



It doesn't help to go over and over this part. You were hurt by it. That part is over. You aren't going to even start getting over it until you accept that it happened and the past won't change.

It's the rare person who actually likes someone who is wailing that no one likes them.

Huh? You believe that the virtual world has the power to cure you? And it is shirking its responsibility by refusing to do so?

Oy.

Vei.

Does it? Doesn't to me!

Pep (Maybe I should take this up for a living. )

You only have to read through this thread and see the end result of how the op is still feeling to prove yourself right

I did the diagnosis in post #437.

Pep (Easily treatable, but not in written form)

gAds! this is still going??

Of course it is. What's wrong with you?

Actually, I'm feeling quite a lot better now, both because of this thread and because of some dialogs I've had in-world as a result, so thanks. I stopped posting because of people, especially Cristalle, warning me that this thread was annoying people and becoming actively damaging.

In answer to the one remaining non-emotive point though..



I don't worry about "responsibility" since it's mostly arbitary. I _do_ think there's a lack of coercive learning in SL, and I think there is some market for it.

I mean. Here's an example. A while ago I saw a site which was teaching shorthand - Teeline, I think - and all the exercises and work were free, but you could pay an extra fee - a few hundred dollars - to have the site owner mark your work at regular intervals and send you feedback. Now the thing is.. for shorthand, there doesn't seem to be any reason to do that. It's a right/wrong thing, you can read your own work back to check it yourself. The real reason people would pay? For the (effective) coercion, for the need to do an exercise each week, and for the experience of having paid and therefore needing to extract value for money.

I'm so happy to hear this. I know I've made some flippant remarks. But all along I've believed that you were asking a serious question and that you were paying careful attention to all the answers.

You have been coming across to me as intelligent, well meaning, and sincere.

When a person feels betrayed it isn't easy, at first, to take it in good humor. And once you start to see yourself as a victim it takes some time to start to see things any other way. It would be unrealistic to expect you to change your feelings overnight just because people are telling you that you should.




It's the same thing with joining a gym; once you've paid in advance for six months you feel like a fool if you don't go and work out.