Ok, can someone just tell me what is wrong with me?

You resent them for doing what they wanted to do instead of what you wanted them to do.


Most people can't even count on their parents to coax them into being successful.


You seem to be begging for help... But so far you aren't getting enough of it here - even though most of us are trying to give it to you.

*bows to Kaimi*

You, madame, are Our Lady of the Eternally Understated.

No, I resent them for getting to do what I wanted to do and didn't get to. And perhaps "resent them" isn't the right word. I resent the situation but I don't particularly mind the person.



*nod* But anyone who's ever been inspired or encouraged by SL has been so by others (since it's a user-built world)



I want the peace and joy in your mind..

OK but it's the resentment that is hurting you. If you could just open your heart enough to be glad for the person who did get what they wanted, and accept that you didn't, you would feel a lot better.


However inspired or encouraged any of us get has more to do with our own attitude than than anything others do.


I'm trying to give it to you. I guess I just don't know how.

Jesus if this is all you have to worry about you need to get a life.

Perhaps I would, but I'd also basically be completely displaced on SL.

If you can't be in SL without being unhappy perhaps you should ask yourself why you're sticking around.

It's not that "I can't be in SL without being unhappy", it's that if I accept "oh well, I didn't turn out to get that" about all the things that's ever happened regarding in SL, then I wouldn't have any reason left to stay.

On the other hand, Marianne (that is, me) did not end up in that position in a vacuum. Indeed, kid avvies are still not accepted by a large amount of the SL population, and I am still routinely viewed with suspicion. When I started, it was not as a leader of a community. While there was a small number of kids around, I was definitely low on any totem pole, well below Gemini, Loki, Linnian, Kitto, Cricket, etc., etc. What defined me within the community was that I took action regardless of what others might have said.

I created a location at the SL Third Birthday largely on my own, without a lot of backup *and* with quite a few who felt it might be best that it *not* be there. That was one of my first, big moves in Second Life.

And I do build what I like. Over the last couple nights I've been building some 1950s-1960s style furniture that will never fit within my existing stores. Next I'm building a garden shed (I have the textures generated and need to apply them to some prims when I get inworld. Did I ask if I should, or if anyone would want such a thing? No. It just felt like an interesting challenge at the time.

An ya know what? You've been the star of a thread here that has gone on for some 20 pages. That strikes me as at least some form of acceptance. I know you have skills and talent. The key is to build. The other stuff is preventing you from being creative.

While I agree with what you're saying, saying this was a "first big move" doesn't quite gel, because you had to actually get accepted to build at SL3B in the first place.



What do you generate textures with?

The never ending game of badminton...

True. I however did not say "I have an idea for something here, but I don't think it will be very good."



Photoshop, and I rely heavily on Filter Forge lately

Thanks Rha, I needed to hear that. Simple words but a very important thought.

welcome

took me a long time to realize it myself.


(same can be said for not liking ones self. If you do not like yourself or believe in yourself, how can you expect others to?)

Yumi you might want to think about that one...

you basically gave the impression to the other person that you did not believe in your idea...how can you expect them to believe in it and convince you to believe in it, when you give the impression you do not believe in it yourself?

(sure they went ahead and did it, but how do you know that they did not go to someone else and discuss it, but not in the way you did, that they thought long and hard about it, debated if they should do it, and even considered how you might feel, but decided in the end, since you basically told them you did not think it would work, you probably would not care (PLUS you said yourself you were away from SL) so they decided to go ahead and do it)

you should have believed in your idea and presented it that way, and not wait for someone else to validate that it is a good idea... why on earth do you even need someone to do that?

(I guess that is the part that baffles me... needing someone else to tell you that your idea is good... either you believe it is... or you believe it is not)

*pops in to see if anyone has managed to change anything yet*
Nope, didn't think so *me ponders at what point they will stop banging their heads against the wall*

Rha, the person I spoke to was the ideal audience for the build. If they didn't believe in it and want it to exist, there wouldn't have been much point doing it.

Marianne, Filter Forge is fantastic.

obviously they did believe in it, just did not feel it worth their time convincing you to believe in your ... note YOUR own idea...

I can understand where they are coming from, because look at the results of this thread, you are stubborn and just will not see things any other way but how you see them... I would venture to say... they knew that and felt it would be a waste of time trying to convince you that your idea was good since you already seemed to think it was not.

*shrug*

Rha, I will see things another way. I do, I just figured that posting that "ok, maybe I was a bit opaque about what I wanted there" was kind of redundant. Plus, that horse has bolted anyway but I've appreciated reading the tips for the future. But if you ask me "why did I say that?" then of course the answer will not change as it's past.

Originally Posted by Cortex Draper
If someone told me some wonderful idea, then told me they couldn't do it my response wouldn't be to try to convince the person they could do it.

It's the same thing to me as I believe I can do EVERYTHING with a little thought.
If someone said something couldn’t be done, I would consider it a challenge and work out how it can be done.

So if the person has the same mindset as me, this explains his actions perfectly with no maliciousness intent at all.

Mindless prejudice. And, I shudder to think, I used to subscribe to it. Until I started reading the forums, learning 'who you are', and who other SL kids are. Reading 'Global Kids'. Learning that the pre-conceptions are all wrong. Taking the time and bothering to learn. Now when others say 'Kid avs 'creep me out' I tell them, don't pre-judge what you don't know. If anyone bothers to take the time to see and feel who you are, I cannot imagine the continued prejudice. I cannot fully explain to you, what a complete 360 degree turnabout my thinking about kid avs has done, since meeting you and others here on the forums. You are wonderful ambassadors, those of you who post here. Keep up the good work.

Of all the child avies I have encountered only 1 just wanted to be a child avie just because they wanted to be one. No different than someone wants to be a dragon. The others either had a something terrible happen to them in their childhood or something horrible happened to them irl.

My friend Pan used to label child avies as "brain-fried". One day I took him to task about that and really sat down and pointed out the reasons why one would want to be a child avie. They don't creep me out, in fact I have plenty of nieces and nephews and I find them adorable. For my hubby Will it is a new thing to him. Two of my nieces were visiting and they were talking to Will. I can sense he was hesitant, he was real quiet. So I sent him a private im telling him "Baby, just relax and talk to them like you would speak to any child irl." Just play along. When I said that he opened up more and ended up having a good time. He loves fishing and bought them 7seas fishing rods. It was really cool fishing from our swimming pool.

I wouldn't see it that way, though. If they did indeed believe that, then there are three possibilities:

a) they believe anyone can do everything with a little thought; in which case, I could do it too, and they should say so - or,
b) they believe _they_ can do everything, but _I_ can't (this is a hostile, if not malicious, belief in itself), but even then they could work it out and tell me how to do it;
c) they believe _they_ can do everything, but _I_ can't AND shouldn't get to, so they do it themselves.

Plus, I don't have that belief just because, well, other people can choose for themselves what they do. To suggest that I can believe I'll certainly be able to do something that involves other people showing up, is denying those other people free will.

(For the "Yumi won't change" people, I can accept that they didn't realise I was asking for reassurance that it would work, that's fine! But not, that they took it as a challenge this way.)

Color me jaded.

I have seen child AV's in SL since the start.

But since 2006 things became more blatantly sexual with Child Avatars, whereas in the past it was not even mentioned.

I know someone that since 2007 has had a sim they keep private. Guess why - Child avatar sex. And yes, i removed them as a friend.

It grosses me out. Yes it is adults at the KB and that is fine. But what is seen are representations of children engaging in sex, which is not cool.

There are plenty of child av's who claim "NO SEX", but yet visit these private sims to have their fun.

When I see a Child AV; it takes a lot of getting to know that person before i feel they are not some secret sexxing perv.

i never had a problem with sexual age play myself. i reckon its better they hook up and shag each other online that go looking for actual children irl.

Apologies as I haven't read the entire thread... but re. the idea that you can do anything if you set your mind to it... or maybe you can't?

Or for the sci-fi folks:


I'm one of those people who believe I can do almost anything if I set my mind to it. And I believe that of everyone. But - if someone doesn't believe they can do it, then they probably can't.

Anyhow - Cheers!

-Atashi