Ok, can someone just tell me what is wrong with me?

No, once again I am being much too clever for you, Love.

Pep (I am saying, in a way that will be noticed, that what Lindal is saying is absolute b*******.)

I'm helping her understand the real conclusion. Don't worry about it.

Yw. I am a Rha fan.

Actually the real conclusion is that Yumi needs to be more like me!

Pep (Not so much beating around the bush; more saying what you mean and meaning what you say)

*blushes*

(I like you too Kaimi)

Slides into the chair to play Armchair Shrink.

If someone like that were "happy with themselves"...they would not have the need to spend half a day on the internet as an anonymous being taking pot shots at strangers to get their jollies....would not have a need to invent an imaginary friend to converse with, in order to continue the disruptive behavior that all but about 2 people have determined to be totally unacceptable as a human being. That person is not "happy with themselves"....they are simply delusional and off their meds.

Slides out of chair. Carry on.

No, it proves that you are an exception to the rule.

QFT

Of course he is. All bets are off when you start considering people with disorders.

Heh, one of them PM'd me yesterday, hinting that they were Amara. LOL.

We had our disagreements in the past,probably will have some more in the future, but this one:

QFT !!!

Sometimes the only thing to do is to accept defeat gracefully.


In many situations it is possible to ask directly without forcing a particular answer.
YUMI: "You think my idea could really work? Do you think it would be very difficult to implement? Is is something you yourself might have time to help me with?"

In other situations all you can politely do is hint, "That looks tasty, what you're eating," and hope they offer you some but be ready to forget about it if they don't.


Sometimes there just aren't any good options. Personally when I can't think of anything else satisfying to do I read a book.

Well, this is sort of true, I agree. But on Second Life, at least, there's another side to it. I mean, the advantage of Second Life is that it's a shared social space, its community is a lot of the reason for the interest in it. If I did have something I wanted to (for example) build purely for my own sake, I'd do it in Unity, not SL. (But on the other hand, I'd never want to build a carnival in Unity because, well, I wouldn't want to build one of those just for myself.) So wanting to know that at least some other people are going to be interested is important for the decision to use SL, which you've got to admit is kind of awkward and limited compared to other tools for the same kind thing - with the exception of the social aspect.

The thing is, I like the idea of being a performer or organiser, generating value for others. Perhaps it is arrogant of me to want that, fair enough if you think so, I maybe agree, but it still has huge appeal. And you can also say that, well, I'm not entitled to it, and that's quite true, but I don't feel yet that I've failed - or if I have failed, it's for reasons that I don't at all understand. But certainly it would be arrogant of me to think of being anything like that when there's no approval being given to me by anyone else!

Perhaps, but you know, in this case I have no idea what I did wrong. I mean, what you seem to be saying is that I should just give up and quit.

More like, don't try to win every single battle. Concentrate on winning the war.

But, you know, how many battles can I lose before it becomes just plain irrational to keep fighting?

Approval from others feels great but in my experience it comes fairly infrequently and unpredictably. If it were more frequent and automatic it would be less valuable.

Depending on, or needing, more than you're getting of the approval of others will always make you miserable. Being true to your own concept of what kind of person you want to be and thus approving of yourself while accepting other people as they are will lead to contentment.

DUH!!!!

THAT and a BIG QFT.

All you did wrong was to depend too much on your friend to give you the encouragement you needed to ask for help. And then you resented them for being able to succeed with the project without your help.

Now you are making the mistake of thinking that if you can only get us to understand how bad you feel we will say something to make you feel better. What you seem to want is for us to tell you that you made no mistakes and are an innocent victim of betrayal. But even if this is true (and it might well be) the most helpful thing I can think of to say to help you get over it is these things happen and it is self defeating to complain because another person had their own agenda.

So now your choices seem to be:
1. Contact some other builders and ask if they would be interested in working on the project with you. And, if anyone is, make a deal with them and go ahead.

2. Go ahead and create it by yourself.

3. Get over it and move on to something else.

May I make one final suggestion Yumi, cause they are flying left and right and you are not taking them.

Let's have a little experiment. Just for the hell of it, make the conscious effort to assume folks here are right - just pretend, OK? And for a week go against your first impulse of negativity - assume for the experiment that the negative is wrong. Go against your thought that you are not liked- assume everyone does like you and walk around with that for awhile. It sounds odd that just because you believe something to be true it could influence others' behaviours, but hey it works for politicians ! Be positive that everyone does want you around and act like it. Smile a lot in RL while you are doing this experiment. If I am wrong you didn't lose anything and if I am right - you will have embarked on a new road. 'Cause what you desperately need right now is to break the cycle.

I don't script so I can't invite you to come over and script with me, but if you want to toss some prims around, I love building with people - either present or in IM You are welcome anytime- just holler - I am usually on about 3 or 4 SLT.

And Rha - you cannot imagine how happy I am to hear you say you recognize this behaviour from before and that you really are over that. It was very hard back then trying to make you see you were wrong and you trying so hard to be right. I am very glad to see this change in you

And with that folks- i violated my one riot one ranger rule of helping folks in the forums- instituted in the great Excel Debacle of '08

I leave the rest up to Yumi herself - but Yumi I will drop an IM on you later tonight so you can look me up IF YOU WANT TO.

As the young uns say - "Peace out.."

All my alts have made announced appearances here and been formally introduced

OK...I guess I'm guilty of the same sneaky desire for public approval. I own LightWave, and could build GREAT stuff with it, but for a much smaller audience (either myself, or me and a client). But I'd rather build something in SL, so I take your point.

But I think my point is valid, too. Sort of a "build it, and they will come" thought...and if they don't, admire it myself for a while, take a few pictures, then build something else.

Amaranthim put it better than I did though...really, I urge you to try her experiment. Even if it feels awkward, put on that Happy Suit for a week. See what happens.