Ok, can someone just tell me what is wrong with me?

Yes, possibly giving it a rest for a week. You may be surprised of the outcome. )

Thanks Lindy -

One really last thing 'cause I forgot to include in the above

Start with changing this - get out of the river, you are turning into a prune and the water isn't that deep. Besides there could be icky things in there . Don't wait for someone to toss you a line- they might be off fishing.

hey Yumi... a while back you asked ppl to tell you what to do, to help you build
we talked, and i enjoyed talking to you

but that is as far as it went.. you didnt get together for building or hanging out
we talked about some projects too
they were all great... some would have worked, some not. most were ideas born of your ideas. none of them was in my area of work, but i would have been happy to participate.

but you didnt follow up. No IM, no brainstorming, no wanna hangout.. no nothing.

For me life went on, got busier.. changed in RL making me in a position where i have no time even if you came back with the whole idea worked out and said, lets do this. Since none of the ideas were anything i would normally do, they ended there
(i dont think i was the idea stealer.. =^^= since i have just carried on doing what i always do.. but correct me if i am wrong)


my encounter with you felt like you needed someone there and then to pursuade you that life was not so bad or was as bad as you thought, and then when you got what you wanted, you moved on.

theres no skin off my nose and i was more than happy to help, if i did help at all.

The same probably happened with the person you are talking about. You put an idea out there, play it down by being modest, saying you think it wouldnt work, hoping that they would convince you that it would, (then when they do tell you its great, you judge them to be lying just to make you feel good???) then you leave, seemingly abandoning the idea and the person

all things in life take some ebb and flow, without it, it is just someone doing something FOR you. You cant be passive like that and expect your life to grow. youre a great person (if you allow yourself to be) you have great ideas (that dont need the approval of other ppl to make them great) You also cant judge ppl by your standards and how you would react. Maybe you might say oh wow thats a great idea and not mean it, but most ppl who say things like that, usually mean it.

the whole world is moving around you and you are not only standing still, but youre learning nothing from the passing landscape.

PS using honne and tatemae to explain to westerners what happened .. doesnt work... even japanese ppl dont really understand it all that well.

Thank you
yes I do see a lot of my actions in Yumi's posts here. I know how it feels, and it sucks to be in that state of mind.

The hardest part was learning and accepting that not everyone will like me, and that is ok, because, well, I do not like everyone I meet, so how can I expect everyone to like me?

And since I have broken out of those bonds, I have spoken to others about self doubt and such, and it actually shocked me to find out, that some of the folks that I considered to be extremely self confident within SL, had those same thoughts, fears and self doubts.
They too learned to get past it and just do what makes them happy.


I do not wait for folks to tell me they like something I am making, I just make it, if it sells then cool, if not, "shrug"

Heck I have made stuff in the past, that never worked out, but it did not stop me from trying. (Fishing area, club (later after it closed first time), arcade, furniture store, prefabs, the list goes on)
I have also had some stuff I made never sell, not even once, but they still sit in my store, because, maybe, just maybe that one person who likes it will happen to come by and it makes their day!


And...
The saying is true, you do get what you give, in so many ways. I have learned to be self confident (with bad days of course) and through that I am meeting some wonderfully kind people in SL, which before would probably have ignored me because they would not have wanted to expend the energy to get to know me to get past those hang ups I had (that you all saw here)

Here is a monetary one...

a couple days ago, a newbie was at Avatar Island, asking about SL, the usual questions, how do we get L's and how do we shop, what do we do, etc... well... I just suddenly out of no where, decided to give the guy 100L. (he was shocked and grateful)

My sales the last few weeks have been dismal... however shortly after doing that, sales started coming in... by the end of the day, I had 1200 in sales (more than I had all week)... karma? I like to think so.

Also, I met a guy that has a go kart place, we got to chatting, and I checked out his sim, I liked it so much and was so impressed I took the initiative to contact M Linden and drop a LM on him and invite him to check out this guy's place. What was in it for me? Nothing... I just wanted to share it with M because I have seen his photo stream and thought he might like the place.

I told the owner what I did when M replied that he would love to check it out, and the owner was floored, THAT was an awesome feeling to know I made someone's day, by such a simple gesture.

(and once again I am rambling LOL sorry)

I didn't resent them for being able to suceed without my help. I resented them for succeeding at something I really wanted to do but had believed to be impossible. I resented them for that because they must have known, in their heads, some argument that it was not impossible, yet didn't tell it to me.



No, what I'm wanting is to be told how I can succeed at one next time, and if indeed I can break into the current one now. Well, perhaps being told how isn't the right word, but perhaps being persuaded into it. That and, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrROiUNwgCM (not the Fight Club clip)

Actually, that line is just because Enabran used to call me "Eeyore", on this forum, and I loved Eeyore.

"We'll, let's see. Digging holes in the ground? Wrong. Leaping from branch to branch of a young oak tree? Wrong. Waiting for someone to help me out of the river? Right. Give Rabbit time and he'll always get the answer."



That's usually because I didn't see you online. But also, because I figured if you were still interested you would contact me.



Nope, I didn't abandon you (or her) at all, I just tossed them the ball, to see if they _really_ wanted to play. That's sort of the problem I've had, people have often said they're prepare to help, but none of them have driven forward to try and do so (like you would do when you want to do something, right?)



And I've now realised I was actually using it wrong.. well, I don't know. There might be some tatemae in SL but probably not universal and I don't even know if tatemae can be "not universal"... Either way, it's not related to this issue, so I'm sorry.

Honey, no one can tell you how to succeed, if they could they would be doing it themselves. Everything is a gamble, that other person took a chance that it would work, believe it would and tried.

Next time, instead of telling someone it won't work, or that you do not think it will work, tell them about the idea and ask if they would like to be part of the project with you (if you are looking for someone to do that, that is)

The sales thread was pretty much about the same thing, how to succeed, and there is no surefire way, we just have to try.

Heck I would love it if someone would come to me and tell me how to make my business bring in 100,000L a month, sure I would love that, but no one can do that, cuz no one knows how it is done. It either works, or it doesn't, no one will or can guarantee it will work.

It sounds like that is what you want, someone to say, yep that will work.... (but then if it doesn't you will be angry at them for persuading you it would work, and accuse them of knowing it was doomed to fail and that they just set you up)

sound familiar? (I used to think that way)

maybe they thought the same about you, that you were not really wanting to "play" that you gave up, that you were not prepared to follow through. After all, you went to them with the idea right?

pssst -- when you "pay it forward" you're not suppose to tell everyone.
I must say, I find your story of changing/understanding that not everyone will like you, unbelievable.

I never hinted at any such thing. I just stated that my name started with an "A"
A lot of names start with that letter.

Pay it forward implies that one is passing on what someone gave to them, this was not the case, my story was about karma... what part of that did you miss? And I like sharing karma stories and hearing about karma stories and good deeds.

I do not care if you do not believe me. That is your problem, not mine.
If you think, even for a moment that my life will change, because you do not believe me, then you need to exit the dream world you live in and join the rest of us in reality.

(do you really think you have that great an impact on people's lives??)
I think you do, because from all your snide posts and remarks to folks... you always seem to think that it matters what you think.

*shrug* I would say it is humorous, but actually it is rather sad and pathetic.

OK *Peps Pip*.

Obviously it's not guaranteed success, but that person must have had an argument in their head that it wasn't guaranteed failure, otherwise they wouldn't have done it themselves. Yet when I prompted them to, they didn't give it.

Also, as I mentioned elsewhere, this wasn't so much about making money.



Sure, but they then said they wanted it to exist or wanted to help, so if they really wanted it they should be following up on that too, right?

yup.. but sometimes you have to run with the ball too.. maybe theyre thiniking the same as you .. waiting for you to drive forward
especially if its your idea, the well mannered thing to do would be to wait for you to kick it off.




Tatemae is the ruin of japan if you ask me.. ppl dont have to go about blatantly saying whats on their mind .. but they shouldnt go around blatantly saying what isnt ^^
and
dont be sorry Yumi... be daring. It is one of the qualities you admire/envy in other ppl
just close your eyes, hold your nose .. and jump
noone will catch you ... thats not the point
the whole point is to jump

If you weren't already one of my favorite people, this would have done it

Or you can be bossy like me and say "OMG that looks SOOO good.. can I have a bite?" Believe it or not, I have had people turn me down, and guess what? No. Big. Deal. Their food/stuff is their food/stuff... not mine.

You are reading their words (and their mind) in a different way than most other people here.
So if they are an average person, your interpretation of their mind is wrong !

If someone told me some wonderful idea, then told me they couldn't do it my response wouldn't be to try to convince the person they could do it. I'm not a emotional support giver type of person and would accept what they told me at face value - they cannot do it.
If I liked the person or the idea or both I may spend days thinking about how to do it until I solved the problem (EVERYTHING is possible in my philosophy)

But there would be no malice or deception involved. In fact it would be a tribute - here is that cool idea in reality
(I'm assuming we aren't talking about some money making venture or a club)

/me rolls on the floor in delight... getting a bunch of cathairs on her pajamas

you just made my early morning

Amen.

@ eku -Will you be in later? Got something to show you

yup .. i am inworld procrastinating as we speak.. and should be for a while more .. unless i get an epiphine (someone tell me how to spell that) or smoke something i shouldnt

Epiphany - cool i will be headed home in about half hour.

BTW Yumi, I love "DoIt!AttachTheEarOfACat!"

I'm not a neko, but for some reason whenever I think of that tag, I smile. It seems to come from a place of optimistic investigation... sorta like, "Hey! Try this, it's neat!!"

yumi if you are serious about wanting to organize and work with events, please contact me in world...i have been looking for someone on euro time to do just this and id love to chat about it.

It's from this (sorry for yet another youtube): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nm-7y3cFEfw (it's very hard to hear but it's around 0:53)



Ah, but that's the thing - I didn't say "I couldn't do it", I said "it wouldn't work" (ie, no matter who did it).