Ok, can someone just tell me what is wrong with me?

So you believe this other person was responsible for deciding whether or not you should go ahead with the project? And you believe this other person somehow owed it to you to help you become successful? And that they were not entitled to do the work to make it successful without you?

Although people are often very helpful to others, I'm afraid if you keep expecting other people to help you succeed you will probably continue to suffer this kind of disappointment.

clearly that person is not a mind reader....

Why are "They" not allowed to build "something" because you decided not to build it? it was YOUR decision to not build it not theirs. Why were you so quick to give up because one person feigned indifference to the "something" project? Also, just because "They" built "something", what's stopping "You" from building "it"? When I started building my product in second life, I wasn't the first to do so, and since I've been at it for 2.5 years, quite a few others have come along building the same thing. No one who started before me came to me bitching that I built the same product that they were building, and I haven't given anyone any grief for coming along after me and building the same thing I do. As a matter of fact, there's been a number of times that I've helped both business owners and folks just scripting for "fun" to understand how to build my product. Now, I don't give away open source versions of my script because my scripts are highly developed and feature packed, but I have many many times helped people understand the basic operation of my product. You need to stop blaming "Them" about "Your" decision to not go ahead and build "it" whatever "it" is. And why are we talking about "something" like it's some big secret that you were supposedly screwed over by sharing your idea with "Them". The day you put it out for sale, if I happen by your store and see it, and think "oh, neato", and run home and build one of my own and put it up for sale, are you going to come by and yell at me for seeing something you did and recreating a similar one of my own?

I had a competitor complain to me once for building a replica of her clock. I didn't copybot her clock, I built my own, which wound up being less prims, and looked just as good. Not only that, I sell it for more than she sells hers. This goes on all the time in SL and RL. Take cell phones for example. Five or six years ago, Motorola's V3 Razr was all the rage, and within a year, every manufacturer out there had a super thin cell phone out on the market. Now, it's the iPhone (which I just bought one yesterday!), and it's all the rage with it's innovative new interface and innovative use of an accelerometer. Now, the market is in a rush to develop touch screen smart phones, with a similar interface and features as the iPhone. There's nothing wrong with it, and you're either a follower or a leader. I've been a bit of both (at least I think) in my time here in SL, and if anything, you should consider yourself flattered by the fact that someone else has copied your idea. So, quit blaming "Them" for "Your" lack of confidence in your ideas.

Yumi, this is coming from someone that thinks you are a great person and worthwhile individual (me) ~ if I didn't care at all I could easily not post a thing here, and risk nothing.

But you matter, so I'm going to give this a shot.

Yumi, it's internet drama. Let it go. Every moment you don't, you lose more. More happiness, more time to spend on something you enjoy, you name it. Success is all about moving on.

Clearly, you are feeling pretty stung, maybe righteously so.

But we'll never be able to know if that's the case or not. It's a one sided story, and trials of public opinion, even when both parties are here, suck. Give a large group a chance and they are going to: a) side with their friends in any case or b) simply sit back and enjoy the angst as entertainment. I don't wanna see you suffer either of those two fates.

Hey, I've felt pretty stung too at times... it's a tough pill. I've wondered how Elanthius and Phil felt when the bot rulings came down the other day. Both took it amazingly well. I've had people tell me to my face they were going to copy my estate, poach residents, you name it... I've still got 21 homestead regions believe it or not too. Life got setbacks, it happens. Know we care, take a deep breath and find your feet again.

Good luck, and I hope you are laughing about all this soon. Hey, I quit SL for a year before I came back and bothered with anything much. I actually had a tiny content biz in 2004 under another character name, and quite frankly, I didn't do too great. If anyone would have told me my future then, I woulda thought they were toking on Prozac joints.

There's only one recipe for success: just keep trying. I've probably failed at more things than most people ever have on the grid; the secret was not giving up. Can't stop someone who just won't quit; they got this aura of eventual success about them. It's infectious; others will feel it and reflect it back to you.

See all this for what it is, let it go and be happy soon as you can. Because that's gonna be what happens anyway. Your choice to make it as short or long as needed.

hugs,

Des

Stop moaning and GET TO WORK >
You have plenty of great ideas.

Is the person a really close friend? If so, then depending upon the relationship, it might have been reasonable to expect them to argue with you to do it. But otherwise, I think their reaction is perfectly normal and natural, and you really don't have the right to *expect* any more of them.

As for them doing it in your absence, I'm not sure how I feel about that. But I suspect that isn't the point of your post anyway.

my god someone tell what the idea was!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im dying to know!!!!!! i wanna see it after all this reading....

They didn't feel like going through what we're going through now.

Let's change the original conversation somewhat:

Yumi: I'd like to get to know Pep, but I don't think he'd be interesting.
Yumi's Friend: He sounds pretty good, I'd be interested.
Yumi: Sure, but I don't think it'd really work that well.
Yumi's Friend: Oh, well, ok.

Yumi disappears stage left for two weeks, during which time Yumi's Friend gets to know Pep pretty well.

Yumi returns and is p****d off to find Pep and Yumi's Friend partnered.

Pep (What does the team think about that?)

Pure Fantasy?

Presumably that's what Yumi thought about the possibility of her friend acting upon her original suggestion.

Pep (That's my point, or at least one of several)

PS Yumi's attitude is gender-linked, if you want another one.

IBM didn't (originally) think home computers were worth pursuing.

Am I the only one who has no idea what the OP is talking about?

I totally understand what the OP is talking about. Although she's totally wrong.

The OP has a long history of being clinically pessimistic. She's harmless.

My advice is to not give your ideas to people if you're afraid they'll use them.

It's quite frustrating to have people talk about their ideas as very often we already have similar ideas of our own. This then means that we can no longer bring our ideas to life or we'll be accused of stealing.

Talking about your ideas is a subtle way of patenting them. Whether that's your intention or not doesn't really matter.

So please, keep your damned ideas to yourselves! That way I can't be accused of robbing anybody!

yet you expected this person who went ahead with the idea, to keep banging their head against the wall and try to convince you that your idea was a good one, while you were telling them it was not so good.

When they decided to not bang their head against the wall, but went ahead with the idea anyway, after I might add, you had left SL for an period of time... you then get upset because they used the idea that you told them, even though you lead them to believe it was not a worthy idea....

good lord!

If I had an idea that I told someone about, and I told them that I did not think it would work, and they told me they think it would, I would not keep pushing them to keep telling me it would work. I would then possibly discuss the ins and outs of said idea, and IF I wanted to keep it to myself, I would kindly ask them to not use the idea as I might decide to, just hoping that they would be kind enough not to use it.

From what you have described you neither asked them to not use your idea, nor did you stop at the beginning, you WANTED them to keep telling you it was good... Yumi, that is not the way to go... you do not need someone else to tell you if your idea is good or not. YOU decide for yourself if it is worth doing, and if you do not do it and someone else does, well tough... life goes on, heck even if you do do it and someone else does, such is life.

I was in the audience when Bill Gates assured the world that 640K RAM was enough to do anything.

Pep (The OP is playing "dog in the manger" )

where did you ask them what part interested them? How were they to know that is what you were looking for?

You have to ask people... what part do you think would make it interesting?

Not.....
Sure, but I don't think it'd really work that well.

Exactly how is that.. trying to find what they were interested in about the "something"?

*shrug*

I remember that, I was sat behind you telling you to sit down as you cheered Bill on in approval.

Perhaps you don't understand the difference between "laughing with" and "laughing at".

Pep (British humour doesn't travel well, I have found; except Benny Hill, to the USA, and you can keep that!)

you being walt, it would go something like this... based on your first post...

Walt: I have an idea for a full length cartoon film but I don't think it would work.
They: I think it would work, I would like to see it.
Walt: Sure, but I don't think it'd really work that well.
They: Oh, well, ok.


(they are seeing walt as saying he thought of something but it is not worth bothering with because he doesn't think it would work)

I have had an idea for something (heh) in SL since I joined SL (3 years ago)
and I finally shared that idea with someone, that could possibly make it work...

and ya know what they told me... let's see what we can do, and partner up with this idea.

I explained it out to them in detail, they obviously liked the idea, and I was excited about the idea.... my excitement and conviction on my idea I am sure helped sell it to them.

If I had said.. I have an idea but I don't think it will work, I do not expect them to convince me it will work. If anything, I would expect sometime down the road, to see my idea in use...

(in my case, I can not do my idea on my own, for specific reasons)

I never shared the idea with anyone else, and have yet to see it being done in SL...

now I trust this person fully, but lets say for some weird reason they did go ahead and do it on their own and take all the credit... the only one I would blame... is me... not them.

You know, regardless of who did what- if you just go build it or something else you will feel better about it. Right now I am working on a huge build - well huge for me - and I have shown several people. If they al go out and build one for themselves- it is still not going to be "my" build; they will inteject themselves in it. Each thing we make has our stamp, our vision.

'There is nothing new under the sun.'

I suspect they would've answered the way you would've liked had you not done a full negative on your reply...

Me: I'd like to make (something) but I don't think it'd be interesting. (Item + Negative)
They: It sounds pretty good, I'd be interested. (Counter positive + support)
Me: Sure, but I don't think it'd really work that well. (FULL COUNTER NEGATIVE)
They: Oh, well, ok. (Acknowledgement of full counter negative)

A full counter negative on that 3rd line is a REBUTTAL, and it puts this person in the spot of having to choose between leaping THAT big wall to show support, or just cede for the sake of not arguing and go along with what you almost adamantly declare. It's quite easy to see the apprehension that they said that 4th line with. It's not worth arguing over and most people would choose that as well.

Probably would've worked more to your liking had you...
Me: I'd like to make (something) but I don't think it'd be interesting. (Item + Negative)
They: It sounds pretty good, I'd be interested. (Counter positive + support)
Me: Is it something that you'd (whatever), or you just saying that? (neutral query)
They: Oh I think I'd (whatever). It could have this and this and that. Sounds like a fun project for us. (Reaffirmation of Support)

Point is, if you're going to fish for stuff like this from people, at least make it something they can honestly answer instead of trying the mind game approach. You'll get better answers and they'll like you a lot more for it.

i dont see the harm in telling us what "SOMETHING" is.... i mean if its already done there is no fear of it getting out of the bag.. tell us what it is that they did that was a success ? its killing me...