Why so many RUDE people?

I am pretty proud of my little house and how much I am able to do in a 512 plot. I have a security system and turn it on now when I am changing, but I dont mind visitors who understand it is my house and when the enter it they are my Guest.

I've seen this happen more than a few times at home. We have a nice place, with a fairly big yard. It seems to attract people to it, and they don't understand the concept of private residences. Some are just typical newbies, stumbling about and that's, well, mostly okay. Some, however, know quite well what they're doing, and will come in and proposition residences (not me, thankfully, but my mommy did have to kick/ban someone from off her own bed once) or otherwise act like the invited guest from hell.

Of course, we've also had some nice visitors who are just curious about the place, and that's fine. The polite folks have gotten full tours of the estate and such. Some, however, are not so nice.

Just because it's a virtual world doesn't mean that real-world etiquette doesn't apply.

Mari

I agree completely. Home is home, a place where I can be reasonably safe from the lookieloos and the inconsiderate map+TP'ers. If I want social interaction, I'll go to the cantina.

I agree that red access ban lines suck, especially since (as previously noted) the people cannot steal anything from you. I find that most noobies that wander into my residence are typically not too bad BUT if they proposition my partner or me, (fat chance LOL ) or are just being rude, I welcome the opportunity to blast them into outerspace ( gotta try out those new toys sometime )
Its especially nice now that ONLY my groups weapons work on our estate.

grins madly

In short, Don't worry so much about access bans, just make sure you set your land to a group and set your auto return on. Remember we are all new at one time or another and a helping bit of advice or a freebie is always a nice thing to do for people to do. If you need privacy, use a security device, especially DT ( LOVE THEIR SYSTEM ) THANKS Sara !!!!

er... I'd prefer banlines to being blasted out of my plane as I try and fly over.

See my sig for a poposal to get residents REAL privacy.

It seems to me that the perfect answer to satisfy all sides of this issue would be to simply make the ban line invisible. Is there some reason this isn't done?

See my sig for a propsal that would actually solve the problem.

Yea I hate that as well being blown out of my chopper just for flying over

oh no hun im on YOUR side!! i agree with You. like my partner and i believe, its our home and land, we should have the right to invite who WE want. we did have an open house policy, however after catchig the fourth couple havin sex on our bed, we said ew and closed ranks. so no hun im with ya, just dont put your faith in the doors is all

You could just section off a little section of your property that includes your bedroom, or even just the part that includes your bed/ poseballs, that would get he message across loud and clear, you are welcome in my home, but not in my bed

About once a week, i will be in my home chatting with frinds or family and a stranger will just wander in.
I greet them, Let them know it is a Private dwelling place, and ask if there is something i can help them with (If i am in the Middle of a Private conversation, i let them know this is Not a Good time). Bearing in mind that the greatest majority of people doing this Are new people exploring, i feel it's a Pleasant polite approach, and after i have answered a question or two, I remind them that many of the places they will see are residences, so, If in doubt, Announce Themselves, and ask permission to enter. They thank me, and they leave. Everyone Happy.
I Know,, I'm going to hear a Storm of "I'm not the Newbs baby sitter why should i be nice to them?"answers to this post.
My only response is,, this IS a Thread decrying Rudeness. Just because someone is Rude to me, Intentionally or Not, I don't take it as Licence to Lower myself to their Level. If i Deplore rudeness as many of you here do, then How CAN i do so Justifiably if i am Contributing to the Sum total of it in SL?
I've seen so many situations deteriorate because someone answers rude with rude when the whole situation COULD have been avoided with ONE of the parties showing a Little self Discipline.
And for the ones who say "What about the persistant Trouble makers?" I answer, Perhaps one in twenty of the Drop-Ins fall into that Catagory, and i STILL never Lower myself with them. I am Polite, I Inform them it is time for them to leave now, and i remove them with the Minimum effort Necesary. When they don't get a Rise,,In Fact when they are met by someone of quiet confidence who removes them politely, But Firmly I think it Takes the fun out of it, and perhaps worries them a Little that this person was so Detached.

"Discourtesy is Unspeakably Ugly to me."
Hannibal (The Canibal) Lector.

Angel.

again been there done that, up goes the fence. sorry to seem snobbish, but as my partner stated its our land, and as such we, not some sler with entitledment issues, can dictate who can come "drop in". ^_^

You make a valid point. and yes it does happen that some reply to rude with rude. i on the other hand dont have time to exchamge words with someone who insists on being rude. yes its an honest mistake for some and yes once you let them know they will move one. however lately that is scarce now.

i am sad to say i allowed a trio to annoy me to the point where i stooped to thier level after ignoring them and doin well. as i and my partner were preparign to leave, one of them decided to become my shadow as they could not get a rise out of me word wise(also this same one verbally abused my partner after he jokingly said that some are behind in the movie) so tell me Angel how do i deal with ones who insist on being rude, even after you have basically given ground and left them to thier rudeness? she pointedly told me she wasnt breaking any tos rules & her friend proceeded to harass me(in im) after my parting remark (must have hit home).

yes i know mute is my friend but i have so many there, that its gettin full. and no im not anti social im anti ignorant. and maybe i am saying its not my job to babysit and remind them that manners will get you far in this game. to many seem to think that rudeness equals coolness.

so again forgive me for not being Martha Stewart, although im sure of she had to deal with some of the rudeness out here she'd trade her chows in for a few pit bulls.

It's also not a matter of answering rude with rude. Or at least I don't see it that way, and If I'm wrong on this, I apologise. Several times I've been at home talking to the family as it were, and someone, whether new user or not, would either teleport into the house or come a knocking. In each instance we would ask if we could help them and we've recieved responces ranging from SL teleport error, to just looking around to, can I have a dollar, to would you be interesting in buying X Y or Z. In the vast majority on instances we politely and calmly explain that it's a private residence, and ask the person to leave. Even the ones who teleport in aren't booted and banned. We unlock the doors, show them out, they apologise for the intrusion, everyone leaves without hurt feelings.

But as of late there have been more and more people trying to open the doors time and time again even after being told their locked (both by myself and the door itself), and who don't respond to "Howdy" or "Can we help you?". I'm standing 5 meters from them, looking dead at 'em, so it's not a case of them not getting my chat posts. And without a word of acknowledgement they'll either attempt the door again or leave. So instead of constantly dealing with people like that and putting myself in a situation where I may violate TOS by doing something foolish, I put up the wall.

Granted, people in SL can't do alot of the things they can do inRL (arson, theft, smudging the tv screen) but they'res quite a few things in SL they can do that they can't in RL (appear in your house naked out of nowhere, bypass locked doors and intrude upon a quiet moment by sitting next to you on your couch/rug/whatever, rezz a box or cube over you for no good reason).

I was helped out greatly as a newbie by a family who's home I'd walked in on unannouced, but that was only because after I apologized they invited me to stay a while and were kind enough to show me the ropes. Had I just walked in and plopped down on their sofa like I owned the place, I doubt I would have been shown the same hospitality.

Maggie, I'm Hardly Martha Stewart Myself. Check my Profile some time.
But in Two years of Living in SL almost as much as i live in RL i don't have a single person on Mute, and haven't had the Need to.
Now, that leaves a choice of two Possible differences between us.
The first, and least likely is that for some reason, you are a Grief Magnet. The sort of Person that they Naturally gravitate towards, Bypassing me and Beelining streight for you because of some strange Kharmic Magnetism you have for them.
Frankly, Not Bl**dy likely.
The second reason is, My approach is different from yours, and Obviously works.
I live on the Main Map, actually right next to a Combat Sim. i Travel about extensively, i Meet LOTS of people. I even successfully made "friends" with a Rather well Known griefer (He's no longer in SL, the Law of averages, and the Linden Ban Mechanism caught up with him), He would tease me Occasionally (And occasionally i would tease back), but nothing malicious, and he told me once the Only reason i was spared his more Vigerous attentions Was i was Never Hostile to him even after his First attempts to get a Rise out of me.

Now i don't have any Superhuman Powers of Infinite patience, I just don't believe in Being rude.

A.

Parcel ban list. It's really that simple. 24/7 banlines are just about the tackiest things ever.
Of course, with me, the phrase "nothing to hide" comes to mind, as I have no poseballs.
How about you just rez them when you want to, and turn on the banlines at that time?

lol point taken. maybe i am a griefer magnet. but yes i do agree: you can catch more flies with honey that with vinegar. however i have a quote on my profile that i have found to be true. and i have learned that some mistake kindness for weakness.
(and yes my partner im in the forums again)
in the past i have taken your approach. i always spoke or spoke when spoken to(unless in in lag hell or afk) and treated others as i would want to be treated. its just this latest batch act as if we are supposed to kiss thier rears. let me fix that, some of them act that way.
ok maybe i should smile more, but my fangs hate the sunlight.

I agree with what many of you have said about rude people and welcome areas. When I firsts came to SL at the beginning of the summer, in the wee hours of the morning I could go to the welcome center and meet many people from many different countries having lively often interesting conversation. What happened? Where have they all gone?

For the past few months when I go to the welcome areas, I find as has been mentioned, a lot of avatars showing off their new toys, av's, animations, large balloon like creatures that look like they should be floating in a Macy's parade, not invading personal space of unsuspecting, unassuming avatars.

If I was new now and went to the welcome areas, I think I might be scared. I go there periodically hoping for the good old days, but I usually find a freak show.

Hmmm... don't know.

I often go to the starters area. Sure there "wierdos" and "jerks" to. But also a lot of nice people there who are there willing to help the new people... or just are looking for a nice chat.

I like to drop by at the starters area every now and then.

Morwen.

as i and my partner stated: why should we, in the privacy of our own home, have to cater to those who have entitlement issues? i dont mind helpin a new player out, i dont mind answering questions when they are asked. but when some idiot, who as JW posted, constantly tries to open a locked door, with us not a foot from him going"Hi, How can we help You". and they pretend we arent there, or for some odd reason feel that if they can only get inside thetruth will be in there, then yes up will go the fence.

and yes i am aware that they cannot steal or do any overt harm, but again as my partner stated, to many times we have had to deal with idiots leaving thier garbage, in, on, under, and over our property. until others learn to RESPECT other peoples property, and stop acting as if we owe them something, the dence goes up. and will stay up.

I wouldnt dreamof just blasting someone. I think that is ruder than access lines, the point is, if everyone has access banns up, then its harder to fly around in THAT vehicle, I ONLY blast someone manually if they are being an ass.
As for me personally, I know of a handful of connected islands that dont allow bann lines and they are pretty nice to tool around in your glider or blimp or whatever vehicle you like, My daughter is partial to unicycles, Im partial to my balloon.

If a newbie is dropped in a welcome area during a griefer party they don't even know that something is wrong. This game is like that all the time, right?

Great point Jesse, This is what I was trying to say

Because I'm the one paying the monthly tier fee. As such use of the land should be at my convenience, with conditions not dictated by the actions of others.

What this seems to boil down to is that we all have different uses for our residences and different expectations of privacy. Some of us have built showcases and intend for people to see them, for them any conduct short of overt rudeness is acceptable. Some of us have bulit a refuge, where even a good natured & harmless wanderer is enough to spoil a moment. We're never going to be able to find a blanket answer that applies to everyone.

Exactly. It's not about being on a poseball or needing privacy to do certain things, it's about having that refuge. If I'm talking to my family or their talking to me and we're discussing something of importance, we don't want or need the disturbance of some passer-by acting like a tool.

And to be perfectly honest, I don't particularly like ban lines either, but I sure as shootin' understand why people use them, and use them myself. Logged in the other morning to discover someone had rezzed a bunch of spheres onto the house. For what purpose I don't know, but I'd rather not have to deal with things like that on a constant basis.