Talk me out of adopting a child

My point is taht its really NOT adoption is it? I mean I am sitting here wondering about this in my real life and I am wondering what all this fuss is about. What am I missing here? How can you adopt a person at least over 18? In my case teh adoptee would prolly be older than me! And I am sure that NO adoption agency in sl is qualified as a real adoption agency in real. I think we role play a bit to much when we "play" with this issue that is sensitive enough in real life.
I know somethign about adoption in reality. I have a few friends who were adopted or fostered. It's just not a thing I would imagine anyone would want to imitate here coz its so gruelling and complex and ... well, you know.

A lot of work for gravy? I can whip up a batch about as quickly as I can cook up a box of mac-n-cheese.

Do you even understand the concept of roleplay? Of course it is not real adoption, it is make believe, pretend and fantasy - how could it be anything else?

Virtually everything is a sensitive issue to someone, I don't see why that should matter at all.
Playing out a PG existence with a family and doing the whole Waltons scene is about as harmless as it gets imo.

It's really NOT _________ anywhere in SL (fill in the blank). This whole place is fantasy. Gor is NOT really slavery, having a prim baby is NOT really giving birth, and on and on and on.

I dunno. Why do you think they kept saying goodnight to each other?

Yes I do understand teh concept Gab. What I dont understand is why anyone would wish to undergo such a traumatizing emotional crisis and how we can bring to it teh feelings a child may have when we are all (hopefully) in abstract processing now. I understand why peopel wanna roleplay sex in all manner of situations (been there, done that and liked that) but adoption is just too - well, I'll say it - creepy. You cant "make-believe" adoption. Its just not a subject we should "pretend and fastasy" about. I know I try and be outspoken (though much toned down from my real self when I post in forums) but I know its a heartbreaking subject for couples who wanna adopt and cant and fo rkids who wanna mum and dad and cant. I just suggest we don't "go there".

Hmmm good point, that was creepy lol

Of course you can make beleive adoption, there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing so.
Who makes it so that you get to decide what is allowed or not?
Just because you do not like it personally does not make it bad or creepy - it is just your personal preference.

There have been many fantasy portrayals of virtual every RL situation known to humankind over the years in various forms.
Plays, books, films etc. Roleplay is just an extension of this.
Or should we ban Oliver Twist? Or Heidi?

And some of the people that come to SL and want to RP adoption may not be able to grasp your ideas as far as sex in SL goes, and may even find the thought to be 'creepy'.

We each experience SL in our own ways and we should all be free to continue to do so.

No - your imagination works with plays books and films - THEY are NOT role play. They may be a vehicle but those are paid actors wearing personas and are NOT involved within the actual circumstances portrayed. Some peopel are passive readers and do not choose to involve themselves in the actual circumstances - it is NOT an expectation.
Dickens was warning his audience about the horrors of teh workhouse. Oliver was taken in by his uncle - a preferred adoption and a more socially acceptable one. That is family commitment - Fagin's "adoption" and the dreadful workhouse were the types of horrors inflicted upon thousands and thousands of children for centuries. It was a pointed social critique against the system taht was in place in 19thC England. If that was a role play opportunity why not pretend to be Oliver's mother and die in teh poorhouse?
Honestly I didnt read Heidi - it really wasnt appealing as a book.

/me finally jumps into the thread with both feet

First, your note a sucker or an idiot.

For one thing, like many have said, take this a little slow. This is RP, but it can also be more like a relationship sometimes too. It's different depending on the family an all. You want to talk with a prospective adoptee, get a feel for them, discuss what you both want out of this RP, and what is expected. See how it fits for both of you.

I've had the same mommy for 2 1/2 years, which it a bit of a rarity. I've had the same daddy for a year and a half too. Mommy had found me, and after a week and some discussion, I was adopted. It was well worth it for both of us, and we have meshed pretty well. The RP has been, shall we say, "challenging" since my parents split, but we're still a "family," such as it is.

Some families last "forever" in SL terms. Others are very transient. Some mesh well, some don't.

Feel free to ask me any questions, here or inworld.

Mari

So (asking with seriousness) how does it work? I mean, how do you interact? Is it play or do you react liek adults to situations? Do you meet everyday? Are you an alt and is there an adult Marianne who has sex or fights goblins or whatever?
I mean, I have a partner in sl and we talk about real issues we encounter in our day to day work lives and existence. Can you do that? By putting aside the cloak of infancy?
I am not coming down on child avatars here - I am just wondering what is "solved" or supplied in teh adoption.

Funny though, an Oliver Twist production is still performed as entertainment - how horrible don't you think?

I never said books and films were roleplay. I said they were fantasy and roleplay is an extension of this, which is true.

I doubt very much that adoption roleplay focuses much on the actual adoption and more on the being in a family aspect.
I fail to see where there is anything bad or horrible about that or should the subject of adoption be shoved under a carpet and not discussed because it might hurt some people.
I think my father would have hated your stance and reasons for "being sensitive" to adoptees.
He was adopted and whilst the time waiting to be adopted was the worst ever for him, when he was finally adopted it was one of the most joyful and memorable moments of his life. He would not have seen any harm in roleplaying the scenario of a family adopting a child, it would have brought fond memories back of when he started with his new family.

(( use double parenthesis when you're talking about your silly player and his boring life ))

Sorry Adz you lost me there.

Oh you got me wrong there. I am NOT opposed to adoption etc. I just think its one of those really important things we shouldnt try to imitate (but I know we will) coz its so important.
Its funny taht peopel get upset when a nipple is displayed in PG but seem to be complacent about a truly complex subject that we cannot comprehend in its entire dynamic.

Sorry, off topic, for a sec...

Well, I make gravy from the real meat drippings and it takes all day to make a good meat roast and it takes a while to get a good taste to gravy without lumps. It makes a heck of a lot of dishes too!

Back on topic...

I add balsamic vinegar.

Okay BUT who is teh man and HIS silly life? I am not a man.

I still disagree that SL is ALL fantasy. There's a real person there your making a commitment too. Someone who thinks you are going down the same SL path as them and that you are partnered, in love, or a family. In other words, that you are reliable. These are relationships you are taking about, whether internet only are not.

I also say SL is different for everyone. For me, it's a business and social networking platform, and possibly the wave of the future. For instance, families could have family reunions or virtual weddings which are a lot cheaper than perhaps the cost of one or two plane tickets.

Some people aren't as good at understanding roleplay as others. And some just do a minor role play here and there but prefer to have an interesting IM chat with depth whether about world events, the arts, history, politics, what love is, whatever... Some people prefer to be on a private one to one IM and they aren't roleplaying even thought may appear to be to others.

Oh, and if you can't pronounce my name, just call me Ava. My name is Ava for short.

I don't think I got you wrong at all. I was saying my father would not have had a problem with adoption roleplay at all, yet he was an adoptee - isn't that the crux of your argument that it is too sensitive a subject to play at?

You missed my point also that I doubt the roleplay really focuses much on the adoption part, more on the being accepted and playing a role in a family. Or is that also bad inherently?

Lord knows what you think of the series' Dad's Army or BlackAdder Goes Forth where they portray the world wars in a comic light? Not really highlighting the subject in a serious way, it is only entertainment and yet are they not sensitive, complex subjects too?
Would you say we should disallow those programs?

I think where you are coming from is way off base personally and I find your arguments extremely silly.

And if its fantasy why do we get so aireated and upset when we really shouldnt coz its just a dream and fantastical?
I think many peopel take things in sl very seriously - we can aggravate people no end when we come on teh forum and make provocative statements; if it was all role play it wouldnt be taken so seriously.

Who stated *all* was roleplay on the forums?
Not even all SL is roleplay unless you want it to be.
However being in a SL family as a kid is likely to be all roleplay.

Anyway who says that being upset and aerated isn't also roleplay?

Look, I was stating that one thing I find hard to imagine is the roleplay of an adoption. It is a sensitive issue and if you dont think so ask around. I honestly dont know how an ancient TV program called Dad's Army or Blackadder got in this. They were juvenile humour at best. However, I did see the last Blackadder episode which I did think was very very moving. I understood the implications of it and recognized the humour and teh sadness of men "going over teh top" and before you ask if I know anything about it - yes I do. My family's history changed forever in 1917. And I might add I actually supply a war museum in teh real world with materials for their photograph collections when I can afford them.
Dont dismiss me coz you dont approve of my ideas or that I dont share your sense of humour. Rowan Atkinson and Clive Dunn simply wouldnt approve of that.

i thought kids arnt allowed to be in sl are they adults pretenting to be kids?