Talk me out of adopting a child

Well I'm going to be judgmental......I think there's something seriously wrong with a 50yo pretending to be a kid and calling someone half their age mummy and daddy. It IS creepy, it ISN'T normal and I bet it isn't discussed at the water cooler.

Actually this could be covered under, "Take any SL relationship seriously. There is another human being at the keyboard, with human thoughts and human emotions. And if it's an A.I. posing as a human at the other end... kudos. You have done your work well!"

One other bit of suggestion I would add to setting the parameters of such RP relationships. How much RL info is acceptable/comfortable with all parties? I mean, if I was RPing with someone I barely knew, I wouldn't WANT them calling me up and chatting. I wouldn't want them to know where I live beyond state and maybe general area inside the state. But some people have no issue with it. At all. And that creeps me out.

As for SL adoption? Not for me, but to each their own.

I gave up trying to be normal a long, long time ago.

I mean, I'm homosexual IRL... I kinda already lost that battle.
I don't talk about that at the water cooler, either.
Part of the magic of SL(tm) is that you can do things in here that you don't necessarily want to share with the whole world, but you can find a niche of people who understand. It may not be "normal" whatever that means but I submit that it is healthy.

Please tell me...what is normal? Was there a memo passed sometime that defined normal?

I bet there is something about everyone that is not discussed at the water cooler you know.

If you want to talk about what's not normal, SL is not normal.

My best friend is a gay male, we’ve been friends for 12years and own a house together…….I can’t associate homosexuality with this thread

If my mom was in SL and into being a child av, I'd say she was finally acting her real age!

See, one of the wonderful things about the internet is that you don't have to see the person behind the keyboard, if you don't want to. And if you don't ask their age, and they don't offer it, you'll never know they were a 50 yr old.

On other tack, I get the feeling the OP wanted reasons not to adopt being of the type of:

"It is a lot of responsibility, time and effort even in role-play, to commit to a time and place to consistently be available in order to make the fantasy work."

And not:

"It is sick and creepy and should be avoided."

The former being like helping someone avoid chocolate cake and not putting them off it for life. The latter is more like this:



That could just be my impression of the OP's question though, YMMV.

Can't answer that one, I guess it's subjective. What's not normal for me, clearly is normal to others.

I don't want to be judgemental, I just can't get my head around this one.

No, you pretty much hit it on the head.

And I expected a lot more flame than this actually got. I think that (by comparison) this has been a surprisingly civil thread.

I was just providing an example of something joyfully expressed in SL that is not appropriate to discuss at the water cooler, in case you missed that.

K, you are giving out mixed signals here.

The concept is not difficult really and not even specific to this topic.
The principle is that whilst it is OK for you to feel a little uneasy and creeped out about something (anything), you stray into dangerous and problematic territory when you going around make negative judgements about it and the people who partake in it.

Note, we are not talking about people who are actively trying to find deviant and unnatural things to do, these are people who are actually trying to regain a lost innocence and go back to a simpler, often happier time with fewer cares and concerns.
What could possibly be wrong with that as a goal?

Thanks

Cool, it's discussed very openly here, we are rather liberal about it

I can actually understand a very good reason for someone who is in their 50's to want to be a child av in SL.

My dad once told me, "We didn't have much of a childhood, when we were actually kids. Now that you're grown and pretty much on your own, we're gonna join this motorcycle gang and maybe get some childhood going."

I think I could have handled it ALOT better if they had chosen to become SL child av players instead. As it is, I'm wondering if I'm gonna wind up having to bail them outta jail or something. Nah... I'll let them stay in jail at least overnight before I bail 'em.

Key, a really interesting statement that should be a thread of its own.

seems to me those that abhor child avs are saimply stating an opinion. It will have no effect on me and I can accept opinions that dont mesh with mine. But they should realize that using name calling to support thier opinion doesnt work. I dislike cookie cutter avs, but its just my opinion

In my case, I liked Liz but she already had 5 kids, and I already had 2 dads. Liz and my Dad Dom got along, so the agreed to be brother and sister.
For others, there isn't always this level of consistency in the family tree.

Also, one more thing about adoption. After adoption, sometimes the family role plays that the child is the natural child, not adopted.
In my case, I can't do that. (2 dads). To claim that i was biological is ... well even I don't want to go there.
In other words, create an arrangement that
1) makes it fun, and
2) fits the story.

But it is LOST innocence. It can't be returned to - it may even be unhealthy in some ways coz you cant find complete answers to what went wrong when you were 8 when you are now 50. Its opening Pandora's box. Simpler and happier it may have APPEARED but that is coz we were all just a bit naive when we were 6 or 8. We didnt have the abstract thinking process to rely upon as we do now. So we really are NOT children in any sense of teh word and we cant be adopted however much we may like to be. It's not a "goal"; its regressive NOT progressive.

are the child AV's like those guys that like to wear nappies and sleep in
cots and suck on women's breasts, you know pretend to be babies, the same as you see on those programmes now and again ?

LOL, now that IS cool!

Oh no, oh no! Don't you start it!

I mean, don't *you* start it.

I was just trying to be conciliatory.

Noes... We're TONS cuter. =^-^=

I don't think they're as hairy

Who said anything about finding answers to things not discovered in childhood? Nobody said anyone was compensating for not having a good childhood.

You don't really have any evidence to say that it is not healthy to play out these things any more than there is any evidence that any roleplay is unhealthy. In fact I would say there is much evidence to suggest and support that it is healthy and at the very least harmless.

Roleplay of all types is prevalent in its many forms in many human activities. You probably engaged in some yourself, possibly unknowingly at some time but did not recognise it.

Many people consider that it plays an important role in our lives. It allows us to play out what-if scenarios in order to discover more about ourselves, develop as people and find out what our reactions would be under certain circumstances.
Role-play is employed by many social and health professionals in various forms too to guide and assist those who need help of various types. So in my opinion role-play itself is well established as a valid, useful and possibly crucial activity that we are able to engage in.

So that only leaves open that certain types of role-play that might be problematic and even if we consider that something could be used in a harmful way does not mean that it cannot be also used in a harmless way too or that it should be avoided due to this possible harmful aspect.

It is not about regaining an innocence that is lost, it is about choosing to stop engaging in activities that are not innocent and engaging in more innocent activities. How can that be bad?
It is like a person who decides that there is too much unnecessary graphic violence on television and decides to avoid television as the influence is not welcome in their life. Instead the decide to engage in a more innocent activity such as learning to play a musical instrument instead, or perhaps solve crosswords, etc.