Becoming a Slave

Goody!! .. two of us!

<Ssplatt!> .. gets Morwen with the vanilla .... well, you did ask how vanilla was kinky!

I hope the OP will keep us updated on their quest - it's stirred up a lot of interest. I've learned a lot here.

So you don't have Vista installed then?

Nah.. thats marriage

she probably WAS married

Oohh ohhh.... you little <bliep>

I know someone how loves vanilla!!!
*sneaks off to her partner*


Morwen.

I forbid you to become a slave. If you persist in your attempt, I shall have you beaten.

That's right, in part Generally, the idea is that it is a mutual partnership, a yin and yang that makes a whole, and a good master has the HUGE responsibility of making sure the slave is happy. The slave, for their part, must trust that this is going to be handled and submit their will to their master. The master has to give them the security that they've made the right choice.

Selfish masters that are in it only for themselves are not looked highly upon in that particular community and can rarely keep a good slave for long.

What if devoted service IS a personal value?

I've heard it said that Gorean communities are really run by the slaves. I've never visited one, but it wouldn't surprise me. In BDSM generally, it's normally the bottom (the one being punished) who is in control, despite appearances to the contrary. A mistress/slave relationship will certainly NOT work unless there are well-defined limits and safety procedures. Which means that, in fact, the slave does have some control.

That's very true. At least in online D/s relationships, the submissives often keep themselves a Dominant for fullfilling their sexual desires. As soon as the Dominants make the slightest mistake, they are in one form or another being punished by their subs. Often by leaving the incapable Dominant (incapable of reading every wish of the sub from their eyes).

These relationships Are indeed Common But then the skills and talents necesary to be a Good Dom/me, and the devotion, and Discipline necesary to be a Good slave are Rare traits. I've said before there are many people Playing at D/s as a game. The number who actually possess the skills to do it are relatively Few. I've known Hundreds of slaves On line, owned perhaps two score over tha last five years, and of All of those Men, and women I've Known Less than ten who REALLY have what it takes. The Number of effective Dominants i have Known on line has been roughly the same.
There is so much involved in these relationships, and the majority of people Looking in from outside see very few facets. They may learn some of the vocabulary, some of the Window Dressing but actual Understanding takes YEARS. There are some natural Raw Talents, but they will come to nothing without proper Training, or instruction.

The nearest corrolary i can come up with is the Urbal Cowboy. he puts on a Stetson, and Boots, he talks the talk, and Listens to the music, BUT Put him on a horse and he's Soil his Levi's. Just because he owns a hat, doen't make him a cowboy.

Angel.

my brother is so lame, during the mid 90's country music craze he bought thousands of $ worth of boots, hats, belt buckles, etc. and he even bought 2 bails of hay he hauled around in the back of his truck. he even strategically displayed his 'roping gloves' and lasso in the back window.
and he literally lived in the city.
then he heard eminem and bought a whole new wardrobe.

Let me Guess,, you lived someplace where he never even Saw a Cow that wasn't in Tiny Bits wrapped in Saran.

Angel.

OMG! I had no idea I would generate this much discussion with my little question. It just goes to show how deep the thoughts and emotions are regarding this subject.

One thing I have to say is that I do not condone slavery in RL in any way, shape or form. It is tragic and despicible.

While you all have been posting like mad things, I have been thinking about why I wanted to do this in the first place. Being a naturally controlling person (despite my tiny, female stature), I wanted to explore and experience another way of life where I am no longer calling the shots. Knowing how controlling I am, I thought submitting to slavery was possibly the only way I could really give up control. An absolute. For me this is really about exploring the nature of domination and submission, the yin and yang that make up each of us and the relationships we have with others. Who is the boss?

Thank you all for the wonderful information and suggestions and advice. Good luck to the rest of you with your heated debating! I will keep watching this forum. It is quite interesting.

Well. That would seem to fall into two situations:

1) When you choose who you are serving (and thus, still following your other personal values via the choice),

2) You don't get to choose, in which case, who knows what sort of person one is blindly following?

* * * * *

I sense a sort of... boring traditionality in all of this.

Let's take two hypothetical people, "Ozzy" and "Harriet" for instance.

Ozzy is very good at making money. But in doing so, he spends a lot of time at the office. He submits all household responsibility to Harriet. She makes all the choices there. Harriet on the other hand, focuses on her household duties and submits on all income matters to Ozzy.

So... what's going on here?

Are they in some complex doubly-binded relationship where they live their 'lifestyle of dominance and submission' and are 'switches' that change things up in a complex, minute-by-minute, yet highly ritualised manner, hanging out with others similarly 'in the lifestyle'?

Or are they just a coupla suburban parents hanging out with the neighbours?

I suppose determining factors are: what their pet names are for each other, how they refer to themselves, and how much latex they buy?

what exactly do you mean by slavery in rl?

i am still very much on the side that what 2 consenting adults do is their business and no one elses in sl or in rl

and yes i wear a collar in both worlds

The thing is D/S does exist in traditional vanilla relationships often not discussed or consensual. Part of its conditioning females are trained from early age to be their Mother's help mates, to serve, to nuture, to be sexual submissive. While males due to hormonal or societial factors are more agressive in there play and interactions. This isn't always the case but lot of sexualized erotic imagery is of the female be submissive role with occassional dominate role of the sexual agressive woman. The male role is pentrate, to take and control, to be the physically and sexually agressive. Perhaps there is other cultures this doesn't exist but it is quite ingrained in most judeo-christian cultures. How many times are we exposed to the bad girl i.e the sexual adventerous female as something to be used, taken for the male pleasure and objectified? The difference is in consensual bdsm these sexual roles often are defined by those involved based on communication, consent and striving to play with desire, roles in consensual and safe way. Just because someone in there daily life isn't domineering doesn't equal submission, same way someone who in their daily life who is agressive, controlling doesn't equal domination. Indivual gets to define this in whatever way that works for them. For some sexual roles is about power and power imbalances, while others its about surrendering and allowing someone else in controll.

I believe what she means by 'real life slavery' is the realest of the real - people buying, selling, abusing, and controlling unwilling people who have for some reason lost their ability to defend themselves. These days, this is generally done by luring young women to farflung places with the promise of jobs, taking their passports and documents away, and forcing them into brothels.

I don't think she meant real life -consensual- slavery.

I see it in the same way as the difference between people willingly having sex with each other, and rape.

Two completely different things.

Please elaborate on what this apparently meaningless phrase...y'know....means.

"Many go in, few ever return" perhaps?

Its easy to become an SL slave. Stop by any gor sim and tell em you want to join up.
By the looks of the latest influx of participants, doesnt seem much training is involved at all. Seems like anyone with slave animations in their A/O can become a Gorean kajira here in SL. The text based online versions of the Gor scenerio still hold more weight than the swiss chalets and 18th century wardrobed crowd we have now, chasing each other around the gor sims, wearing health meters over their heads like some WoW alumni. Its the XBOX 360 button mashers version of Gor. Success in your endeavors, wish you most well.

I know, I'm an amateur and I'm the first one to admit it. I seem to remotely understand the needs and fetishes of D/s lifestylers and other kinky persons though (perhaps because I share them?), without having a doctor grade in BDSM, at least that's what my transaction history tells me.

I always find it a bit odd if people claim to be highly skilled at anything related to the human sexuality. That's like saying: Life takes a lot of skill and talent, and only few people manage to live the Right Way™. All subs are different. All Dominants are different. If two match each other and are having fun in the bedroom or dungeon, they aren't doing anything wrong or amateurish.

Hehehehe. So true!

Just be aware that in Gor you can be put up for auction and have no say in who buys you. I have had a couple of runaway gorean slaves land on my plot, saying they did not wish to be bought by a certain master.

That's exactly the kick that some slaves get out of it. Being sold as a commodity is a very strong fantasy. So is being bought by a complete stranger. Problem with Gor: one can't end the roleplay after a few interesting hours (of course one can, it is still consensual, but it might have some social consequences I guess).