Becoming a Slave

This isn't really true. Slaves set basic conditions - do I want to be a Gorean slave? a pet? occasional scenes only? totally owned, full time? Slaves set limits as to what they will or won't do. Ultimately, the slave always has the right to call things off, dissolving the relationship.

It's up to the master to control what happens within those limits.

I assume by teenage you are considering 18+ adults. And you are right, the level of Dominance or submission you may experience in SL is not comparable to RL. Now, that doesn not invalidate that you can get a good insight into what M/s or D/s means.

Lastly, I am a firm believer that life is a role-play

Yes and No. For all practical reasons you are right. But what I tried to despict was the ideal slave state of mind. Defining boundaries for your role-playing is just that. Within those boundaries the slave is under the Master control (ideally).

The moment someone decides to become a slave and defines under which conditions (it could be done by establishing a contract) the control is transferred to the Master/Dom/Domme

Maybe where we are getting muddy here is that we are trying to match a M/s relationship to all the other power exchange relationship types (D/s, Gor, etc)

I am quite confused by your statement. Goes against what I have experienced personally.


Ah, I see. The word "Slave" is not another word for "Innocence." You can give up/surrender your mind/will/body without attempting or trying to attempt to return to some level of "Innocence."

I have written of my travels, but as they were not a search for a return to Innocence, I assume that you would not be interested. Also, I am still learning the skill of writing after these many many years.

Before we continue on all this metaphysical true enlightenment theories of a Dom/Sub utopian perfection (which I truly beleive is a bunch of hooey) ...

The whole thing is for people involved to get what works for them.

The first person who tells me that D/S relationships are "better" than other sorts of relationships is deluded.

It might be better for THEM, it might be better for what they and the people they are involved with want and need.

But perfection doesnt exist. And the perfect relationship sure as hell doesnt.

Now to the original poster - start small. Some Dom/Dommes like to play up this place in the Universal ideal stuff and D/S is superior to none D/S love etc. You really should take a rational approach to all of this.

Its these kinds of assertions that help fuel the whole mind control/coercion criticisms leveled at D/S.

As a sign of trust, as a means to experience things you wouldnt, as a different way to see yourself and how you have relationships, SURE - D/S can be fufilling.

But the BDSM gods arent going to bless your collaring from on high and your golden bondage chains wont remove all your cares in the world.

So you are a slave within the virtual world of Second Life, being enslaved by a Dom/Domme via text commands remotely? And you have surrendered your mind/will and body to this virtual person within the confines of a virtual world?

No, it extends into the real world.

a first your post highly offended me. but i hafta admit i agree with the last part its very difficult to find someone to serve worthy of the responsiblity. Having said that, your post still offends me to my core. Being submissive isnt about being a miserable person or submitting to someone's twisted sense of authority. excuse me for saying so but you really shouldnt open your mouth to speak unless you are well versed on the topic.

This thread abundantly illustrates that the SL "community" is not homogenous. We are many communities, some of which have values in direct opposition to one another. The concept of "broadly offensive" as applied to this "community" therefore is completely without meaning.

I do admit that I was very lucky to find my Mistress.

So you have a degree on virtual enslavement? If I'm not mistaken D/s cannot be done virtually, BDSM needs contact (physical), D/s needs trust (more than some virtual IM tool). Maybe the point I'm making is that a lot of people are getting lost within SL and believing the RP in there is real.. no that's not real and it's not real D/s. So what exactly offended you?

Maybe the concept Broadly offensive should be literally applied to the entire community.

The the Lindens can play with themselves

UM i mean Play SL by themselves!

i can only speak for myself but im involved in a symbiotic relationship that often crosses over to real life. Thats my choice to allow it. And those are the same situations and choices of a vanilla relationship only my personality is naturally submissive and my Master is naturally dominate and our interactions reflect that. Im not particularly concerned with your labels or whatever point you are trying to make. Im not concerned with how valid or authentic our play is to you. Its our relationship and we are happy in it. i find your whole flippant dismissive attitude offensive.

BDSM is mental too...even more on SL! A sub could explain better than me, I'm sure.
Myself I found out about Sensual BDSM and it fits me as a Master on SL.

Took a while to find my path too...

One can surrender personal values without complete innocence?

That is a very scary, though possibly very convenient, personal talent.

My points are valid when it's applied within SL, as you say your relationship is RL based then you should clearly understand that I was speaking of only virtual relationships (directly aimed at RP'ed relationships within SL).

So what exactly offended you when your relationship is RL based? Do you have a confusion between Sl and RL?

Just think about who has the real power in the D/s relationship...

Wrom, it seems to me (correct me if I am wrong) that you do not have direct/personal experience into a D/s relationship, not in RL and clearly not in SL.

I do believe that D/s relationship can be done virtually, as well as BDSM. Remember that BDSM is not *only* about physical pain, so while contact serves a lot to really fulfill a BDSM act, there is more that happens on the minds of both the Dom/Domme and the sub.

OTOH, there is (sometimes) a crossing of boundaries between SL and RL. If you want, go and check the "Love in SL" thread that exists in these same forums.

I understand why errUh Oh feels offended; you are making general comments and assumptions over a subject that you don't seem to clearly understand or never experienced yourself.

And, tbh, no degree of any kind ever replaces practical experience

"Do you have a confusion between Sl and RL?"


yes

Well spoken Desmond, and Yet a little pessimistic. In my experiences as a Domme i have aided a number of people in rediscovering thier innocence.
It was never lost, it was merely Misplaced, hidden from view by trappings and affectations of adulthood.
It is always interesting when a slave shares with others the path they have taken to rediscovery, but if you are intending to use it as a Roadmap, I'm afraid you will be even more lost than before as the journey is unique for Each Person. One doesn't need a map, as much as they need a Guide.


Quite Correct Don. While the two conditions share some Vocabulary, There is no true relationship between the sort of slavery sought by the OP, and That experienced In China Recently and other Historical Instances such as the African American experiences prior to the Civil War (I'm Intimately familiar with that History owing to my own Ethnic background). These sorts of comparrisons are wildly innacurate, and are usually made by people woefully (or Willfully) uninformed about our lifestyle, attempting to dissuade others from Exploring, or learning More for themselves.
Knowledge is the only way to dispell fear. In the words of Mohammed:
"Seek knowledge if you must Travel to China"
{This is an Injunction to expand your knowledge at any cost, Not a suggetion regarding hotel bookings}

Angel.

Ok...dont all squawk at my ignorance/innocence....but WTF is a vanilla relationship. (Im guessing its nothing to do with being in love with a tub of ice cream)

Wow, this has gone from a little advice thread that could have been some fun, to a soapbox for a lot of pompous, self important psychobabble.

vanilla = not kinky

Well said Brenda. And don't you dare remove that collar!

There are as many variations on BDSM relationships as there are people in the lifestyle. There is not one defined path..

The term 'BDSM' itself is actually a blend of three forms (hence the symbol that has become almost universally accepted for it, the trisk http://republika.pl/blog_eg_3225514/3466181/sz/trisk.jpg )

BD stands for Bondage and Discipline, DS stands for Dominantion and submission, and SM stands for sadism/masochism. Within those three groups are many many sub groups and variations.. some extreme, some not, some sexual some not.

In my experience (real life) each person and each couple (or poly 'family' group) develop what is right for them out of what they learn and experience and find suits them. Within some groups there are 'rules' or protocols.. but even among these groups there are many variations.

My advice to the OP is to go out into the net and read read read read read and learn. Find books and do more reading... Get in touch with groups online (inside SL yes, but dont confine yourself to SL) and ask questions, and if/when you feel ready join a local munch and meet real people within the lifestyle.

Being a slave in BDSM is NOT comparable to the historical 'slave'. its a totally different concept. In BDSM its very much more a matter of the Mind first, and body second.

To answer the doubts and questions of some of the later posters here in this thread, one CAN choose to surrender control to another person. I dont think its a matter of lost innocence having to be regained. The decision to submit to another is an adult choice. For those who have never explored BDSM at all, and find it difficult to imagine, just think for a minute that it is your spouse's birthday, and you choose to let him/her decide where you go to celebrate it, or that this year you give him/her the option of where you go on holiday (and you vow you wont try to manipulate him/her in any way, or argue or complain about the decision he/she makes, even if it isnt a place you like). That is not so hard to imagine is it? or is it? if it is, you are probably a Dominant!! LOL

I could go on, but i am not here to explain BDSM .. i couldnt.. its too immense in so many ways. I am not a slave.. i am a submissive. I am too bolshie to be a slave. Be sure, OP, that you find out if you want to truly be a slave, or perhaps that submission is all you can deal with at first, or maybe not even that. It is a VERY big committment.

after many years in the lifestyle now, I am still learning. Beware of 'players' especially in SL, (or anywhere) who are just there because it makes them feel good to tie up a woman and pretend to whip her and take her sexually afterwards. Knowledge is power... and as a submissive or slave you need to take the power for yourself before you relinquish/exchange it, to and with a responsible and trustWORTHY Dominant.

Be safe... Safe, Sane and Consensual... that is the watchword.. Find out about how to be safe in BDSM... you are responsible for yourself...

and good luck

love imogen