Why is the slutty look so popular
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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09-26-2007 21:34
From: Victorria Paine Ayep. I try not to jump to conclusions, but the Dolly Parton look usually makes me start to have thoughts like that. I know several women who are active on voice chat and one who regularily meets people IRL that have very large breasts in Second Life. The most common custom shape request I get is for a very large chest. Ill agree that I dont particularily think the Kleenix stuffed bra which includes the box the kleenix came in style looks good. Most Women in SL have breasts that shrink as they've been in SL longer. Just a matter of how they get used to the concept of being in a virtual world, I figure. Of course I do not equate body shape with "slutty", even in SL. In real life I would NEVER even entertain the idea that becuase a woman had a certain figure she was a slut. That would be outrageous.
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Ametrine Jewell
Registered User
Join date: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 10
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09-26-2007 21:37
From: Victorria Paine Yes, but I see this as a part of our evolutionary biology. Our genes want us to attract mates, plain and simple. Saying we are "wired" that way is a bit too simplistic .. I think it is just a very deep thing, and it isn't a *bad* thing, either, it is a very natural thing. As long as it doesn't become obsessive or completely based on unrealistic standards thrown at us by the media, having a healthy body image, and feeling attractive (for straight women, to men) seems to me to be the most natural thing in the world, to be honest. I don't see it as something that needs to be gotten over, I guess. Well it doesn't need to be gotten over as long as the woman is in fact not too far away from whatever standard is operating in the culture (or in the biological memory), and by extension in the minds of men and women. If the woman is not attractive, then she'd better learn to get over it in whatever way she can, or else her life is simply hell. As I watch the women around me age, becoming less appealing to men, I see the different strategies they adopt. The ones who have gotten over the need to be pleasing seem far better off and live far happier interesting lives, than the ones still fretting over their looks.
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Rioko Bamaisin
Unstable Princess
Join date: 16 Aug 2007
Posts: 4,668
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09-26-2007 21:40
I am guilty of dressing slutty sometimes. For several reasons. Number one,that seems to be the only look out there when I go shopping!(I did buy a very classy dress last night though...thanks mysterious person who helped me out the other night...  ) Second,in real life I am a SAHM of two autistic kids where even taking a shower can be a luxury some days. I want my av to at least look good,LOL. It's all fantasy,I would never dress like that in real life,I am actually very conservative. I love playing dress up with my AV.  I don't even think of men when I dress,I have no desire to have a SL relationship like that.
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Victorria Paine
Sleepless in Wherever
Join date: 13 Jul 2007
Posts: 1,110
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09-26-2007 21:44
From: Ametrine Jewell Well it doesn't need to be gotten over as long as the woman is in fact not too far away from whatever standard is operating in the culture (or in the biological memory), and by extension in the minds of men and women.
If the woman is not attractive, then she'd better learn to get over it in whatever way she can, or else her life is simply hell.
As I watch the women around me age, becoming less appealing to men, I see the different strategies they adopt. The ones who have gotten over the need to be pleasing seem far better off and live far happier interesting lives, than the ones still fretting over their looks. I guess I would draw a distinction between the need to be "pleasing to men", on the one hand, and the desire to be "attractive" generally. I tend to hang around in a lot of women only spaces also in RL. Some women there, having decided that if they are not needing to be pleasing to men, seem to give up on being attractive. I think that's unfortunate. A woman of any age can be attractive if she is fit and has a healthy body image, in my view. I'm not at all advocating catering to male standards of beauty (I'm not looking to attract men myself), but I don't advocate ditching the self-esteem-building experience of trying to maintain one's attractiveness in a way that is meaningful to oneself, however that is expressed subjectively.
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Shep Planer
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Join date: 9 Apr 2007
Posts: 153
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09-26-2007 22:06
From: Elora Lunasea My Av is certainly not slutty, however, I've been getting plenty of attention anyway, from male and female alike. What turns people on is subjective; wearing a pair of sexy jeans showing just a bit of skin with a slightly revealing tank top can be just as tantilizing as high boots and a garter belt if the face and shape wearing them is appealing enough. If you're lucky enough to have an amazing personality to boot, being slutty becomes redundent. You don't have to try hard; when you have the whole package.
I remember years ago I had a t-shirt which read "All this and brains too". That pretty much sums me up. Hum...I think I may even use that now as my by line.... Some humility wouldnt go astray though.
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Colette Meiji
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Join date: 25 Mar 2005
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09-26-2007 22:32
From: Har Fairweather Slutty? Fine by me.
But I always assume, if it looks like a male fantasy, it probably is one. Right, becuase no woman would ever want to look like what men fantasize about. Especially not one looking to meet a man for online dating. I wonder sometimes if people think these lame leftover stereotypes through, or just repeat them rote.
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Elessar Bikcin
from Gondor
Join date: 5 Sep 2007
Posts: 58
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09-26-2007 22:47
Interesting observations and opinions from all. Gee...in real life I am fairly well built, and in RL my SL Lady is an attractive, statuesque woman. In here, we reflect the same image In RL and SL...I prefer shorts, jeans, and T-shirts, hating any knotted thing around my throat. And, in both...I will not walk around with..."parts" hanging out. Just a simple no-no, and I think those that do it in here have a screw or two loose. As an admirer of the female physique (I was a lifeguard for many years <grin>  , do I think the ladies in SL look "slutty"? Not at all, although I agree with some opinions that there can be certain places where skimpiness is not quite appropriate. So what do I really see in the ladies? I see people living a fantasy....attempting to express themselves, and using this place as a form of art. I have been pleasantly amazed at some of the costumes and dress I have seen here, and just don't believe in doing so that they are "on the make". My Lady dresses very nicely in SL. She is quite attractive, but reserves the more revealing outfits for the beach or "private times". She dresses appropriately for the places we visit - gowns for formal, casual for relaxed, and appropriate for her business as a boutique owner. If she shows herself off a little, it is only for me.
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Malachi Petunia
Gentle Miscreant
Join date: 21 Sep 2003
Posts: 3,414
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09-26-2007 22:49
On one fine day in 2003, I started Second Life and tried to make my avatar as close to me as possible. Through the "unbuffing" process, I wound up shorter that 99% of the population with my torso so distorted that I'm the only one I know in SL for whom "one size fits all" clothing doesn't fit. Unclothed, I look like an inverse Quasimodo with sunken chest and back. The avatar meshes used by LL don't allow for normal sized people. I think part of the answer lies therein.
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Nina Stepford
was lied to by LL
Join date: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 3,373
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09-26-2007 22:57
i suppose i dress 'slutty'. both irl and sl  irl its quite empowering to wear clothes that most women lack the confidence to wear. 'look at that scrag' etc screams 'jealousy'. and their hubbies assure them that they arent looking... but they really are. when men say 'i dont like seeing that kind of clothing', what the really mean is 'i dont like seeing that kind of clothing... on my woman' (because they know full well men _do_ look). class? fuck 'class'. its overrated.
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Tegg Bode
FrootLoop Roo Overlord
Join date: 12 Jan 2007
Posts: 5,707
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09-26-2007 23:03
From: Ashley Ennui a good topic! personally, i often have what would be considered a slutty look...one because its fun and attention getting, and also, in my realm life i cant wear such things...  the conservative corporate office i work in with the dress code would frown mightily upon a minisjirt and thigh highs  really this question is like asking why do people daydream? why do people fantasize? granted i also have a lot of rather sedate outfits...i just dont wear them often, when one can be "dressed and ready" in moments, why not wear a fabulous ballgown or a killer mini skirt outfit?...i mean yes, if your SL evening is going to be trudging throgh a sanfdbox, or exploring some wild area, the ballgown may be a bit out of place..  but short shorts and a skimpy Tee shirt is appropriate, ask Lara Croft! hehehe Hmm slaying vampires in a ballgown worked fine for Buffy  Whatever the reason, I like it and I must say the few women flagging my interest here have all dressed dissapointingly sedately. Slutty is flirting / sleeping around like a rabbit on heat, nothing to do with a "reel you in" spunkrat look 
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Tegg Bode
FrootLoop Roo Overlord
Join date: 12 Jan 2007
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09-26-2007 23:05
From: Shep Planer And so what is that reason?I guess there are a lot of slutty men walking around too with their detachable appendages on display. Hmm that could be handy option in RL, save a few painful moments. Though of course, GF would probably lay claim to it so not to let you stray 
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Bradley Bracken
Goodbye, Farewell, Amen
Join date: 2 Apr 2007
Posts: 3,856
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09-26-2007 23:30
From: Colette Meiji Right, becuase no woman would ever want to look like what men fantasize about. Especially not one looking to meet a man for online dating. I wonder sometimes if people think these lame leftover stereotypes through, or just repeat them rote. We might as well accept the truth. All woman who dress "slutty" do so because they have no self esteem and seeks to gain some self worth through validation by an oversexed male driven society in which woman are only viewed as objects. They've been manipulated by the media into believing they are complete failures if they aren't physically perfect in every way. In no way can it possibly have anything to do with roleplay and fantasy and having a little fun and not being so damned uptight.
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Mu Bikcin
Verfied User
Join date: 3 Jun 2007
Posts: 87
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09-26-2007 23:32
From: Shep Planer No offense but why is the cheap skanky look so popular with the girls in second life? Duh! "Your world. Your Imagination." I read that somewhere?
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Kaimi Kyomoon
Kah-EE-mee
Join date: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 5,664
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09-26-2007 23:40
From: Ashe1 Writer Shep, I don't have an answer to your question, but I've often wondered the same. Other than jeans (and even those can be a little too low) I have an awful time finding outfits to wear in SL. I don't mind showing some cleavage and leg, but all the shops are to the extreme. Someone should open one with regular clothers for regular people that don't want that slutty look--unless someone alway has and I haven't come across it! Ashe Ahem.. I like to call it the nightclub entertainer look and I think women like these outfits in SL for the same reason they like to wear them as Halloween costumes - because they're fun and glamorous and sexy and not something you can wear for most rl occasions. But really my customers often tell me they like my clothes because they are more normal.
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 Kaimi's Normal Wear From: 3Ring Binder i think people are afraid of me or something.
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Rioko Bamaisin
Unstable Princess
Join date: 16 Aug 2007
Posts: 4,668
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09-27-2007 02:21
This whole thread is borderline on offensive . Arm chair shrinks diagnosing people based on the way they dress.(low self esteem,no confidence,tramp...) Sounds like jealousy to me. IMO The only one with issues here is the people who even care what some other adult is wearing.  If you don't like what I am wearing, stop looking.  And I don't like what I am reading,so I am gonna stop looking. 
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Alexa Susanto
Registered User
Join date: 3 May 2007
Posts: 232
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09-27-2007 02:50
I don't understand the look a lot of women (or men with women's avs) go for. Huge boobs barely contained by a bit of leather and equivalent type of skirt. It could be that I am older than a lot of women on here.
I could go to 50 shops in a row and they would all sell virtually the same thing in each one. So I have given up just arbitrarily going to shops. I check out the new products forum and if anything catches my eye I will go and buy it. So pretty much now know where to shop.
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Oh Fugu
Absolute Airhead
Join date: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 42
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09-27-2007 03:23
From: Alexa Susanto I don't understand the look a lot of women (or men with women's avs) go for. Huge boobs barely contained by a bit of leather and equivalent type of skirt. It could be that I am older than a lot of women on here. Have to agree. My own personal opinion is that it is too much information, dosent really leave a lot to the imagination and is a bit like knowing what your presents are before you opened them ehhh... Some (and by no means all) of the people who wear these outfits have personalities that come accross just as desperate as their outfits, but honestly though this is SL after all and everyone has a chance to be whoever they want to be at the end of the day 
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bilbo99 Emu
Garrett's No.1 fan
Join date: 27 Oct 2006
Posts: 3,468
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09-27-2007 03:46
From: Finora Kuncoro I'm curious how you can have a Cheap Floozy skin (or hair for that matter)??? Surely a skin is a skin, its what you cover it with that defines your look. Aww rats! I was really trying hard to read all of this before sticking my oar in but the poster this referred to really got a point home I was going to make. I've seen a few hundred skins in my travels and something I've frankly dropped my jaw at is the sheer number of female skins with thick, black eye liner, high brows, slitty eyes, anorexic ribs and pale dustings on the boobs and butt .. not tan lines but a strong gradient of tone. There are loads of freebies of these but many, many vendors selling them. I think most of the freebies are like this, no wonder the CS Passport is so popular! Well, now I'm here I'll air my other thoughts  Lots of good posts. Some accusation of people being judgmental but frankly, considering how some threads have gone I'm impressed with the level of debate here. Trout I think touched on another point that occured to me ... the nooborn. With most of the freebie skins as I describe and seemingly most of the freebie clothing being scanty there is pressure on them to perhaps dress evocatively. Getting to grips with their shapes is something that comes with time (sometimes not) so they exagerate features they deem important. The OP also pointed out something I thought of, the inner slut. In a similar vein people simply not being able to dress or appear this way for whether physical or political reasons, people who just dress up or dress down according to where they're coming from. Oh heck, gonna leave it there and get back to post #99 Oh yes, Seola in #40 I think, summed it up very much for me .. back soon!
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Elinah Iredell
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Join date: 14 Aug 2006
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09-27-2007 04:40
From: Ametrine Jewell Well it doesn't need to be gotten over as long as the woman is in fact not too far away from whatever standard is operating in the culture (or in the biological memory), and by extension in the minds of men and women.
If the woman is not attractive, then she'd better learn to get over it in whatever way she can, or else her life is simply hell.
As I watch the women around me age, becoming less appealing to men, I see the different strategies they adopt. The ones who have gotten over the need to be pleasing seem far better off and live far happier interesting lives, than the ones still fretting over their looks. Wow what a depressing post. Perhaps if the society we lived in taught us to value a woman for her heart and personality as much or more as her looks you wouldnt have to write about her " becoming less appealing to men" ... and what about the men? They can look any way they want their whole lives? I hate double standards I always have. And who decides what is appealing and who is still attractive? Why arent women allowed to be attractive as they get older? Something is wrong when society treats people like this. Elinah
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bilbo99 Emu
Garrett's No.1 fan
Join date: 27 Oct 2006
Posts: 3,468
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09-27-2007 05:12
OK, back  Ah, getting a little heavier on the judgment in places! Excellent post Trout! Yes, I will look in RL and SL. The day I stop looking will be when these eyes no longer see or care. I'd like to reiterate the point *we* made about it being very likely the perpetrators the OP refer to are very new and therefore are limited by their resources. I wonder if you looked at the profiles of these miscreants just what proportion of them would be a) new and b) no payment record? Not meaning to sound derogatory or judgmental myself, simply pointing out that I think the majority of newcomers don't have shopping as their first priority ... ok mebbe *some* of the girls .. there .. happy? Now then .. in defence of the guys playing girls .. well, me anyway: Someone actually pointed out that watching a girl is more fun for a guy usually than watching a guy. This is precisely why Bilbo was born female. No preconceptions, I'd no idea what I was letting her in for. She was hit on, day one, before I'd barely touched a slider! I soon changed to true gender .. fiancee coming into SL put a little pressure on there  Anyway, bitten by a growing curiosity my alt was born to further explore this phenomenon that had never occured to me before. Yes, she had to spend money to not look sluttish. I like to think I pinned her round an average height and build and ok, I forked out for a good skin with lovely add-on makeup, even customised for the freckles, but it was for me. Yes, vanity! Someone said that earlier too. Nothing very new in my post lol. I set her up for me and dress her sometimes to be noticed, sometimes to fade into the crowd but the bottomline is she likes to look pretty, hell! who doesn't? I like to think she's popular cos of the character she is, not purely for the window dressing. She no longer cybers so let's not go down that road please. She's just another bit of my vanity. So, to the OP, I say it takes time and money *not* to look slutty by default ... and for the exceptions it's just plain nice to go to the edge sometimes?
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Imogen Saltair
Registered User
Join date: 29 Nov 2006
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09-27-2007 05:21
From: Shep Planer Some humility wouldnt go astray though. Reins on your ego would be quite welcome too imogen
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Cherry Czervik
Came To Her Senses
Join date: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 3,680
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09-27-2007 05:27
From: Imogen Saltair Reins on your ego would be quite welcome too
imogen I think we want to meet this guy in world, don't we Imogen? *G*
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bilbo99 Emu
Garrett's No.1 fan
Join date: 27 Oct 2006
Posts: 3,468
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09-27-2007 05:29
From: Cherry Czervik I think we want to meet this guy in world, don't we Imogen? *G* If I bring my alt we could *really* have fun with him? 
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Yuriko Nishi
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Join date: 27 Feb 2007
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09-27-2007 05:32
wow so not covering all my skin makes me a slut! glad i live in a society where it´s not considered slutty to wear short ot tight clothing. and i don´t get arrested when i enjoy the sun topless on the beach. it allways amazes me that in parts of the world it seems to be ok to carry guns, but showing off skin is a bad thing. maybe thats some kind of religion thing? i don´t know
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Imogen Saltair
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Join date: 29 Nov 2006
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09-27-2007 05:35
From: Cherry Czervik I think we want to meet this guy in world, don't we Imogen? *G* Ummmm.... Let me think about that, Cherry. I'll get back to you  imogen
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