My Afternoon as a Slave in Training

i hear you're looking for slaves to auction off. am i a worthy candidate?

Of course you aren't...

Oh, well, I didn't say I didn't have a degree of curiosity about it, just that I haven't indulged.

i wasn't asking you!

This is a lengthy post because I read 20 pages worth of comments before finally speaking up, making sure I had the whole picture before uttering a phrase.

I am Owned by the Man mentioned so many times in this thread. I am not the kind of woman that one would call weak or a push-over. I am very out spoken, opinionated, intelligent and silly. My Master appreciates these things about me. He loves me because I am an individual and He cherishes each of His angels, family members and stock for their individuality. Yes the slaves at this SIM are called Stock; it goes with the entire theme. And you have heard from a few of the Buyers, both male and female Buyers mind you. These are not abusive people they not people that are out to get laid. What they are seeking, what WE are all seeking is a healthy “relationship” in which we feel safe to be ourselves, to express our desires and to communicate openly.

I think you will find that some of the best relationships in SL and RL are based on BDSM principles. In a relationship you have two equal partners coming together, forming a life and that is bound to cause some issues. There will be decisions that need to be made and if you both disagree on what should be done even after discussion then you have gridlock which leads to fighting. I am married in RL and in our relationship we are equals but when it boils down to an impasse, He gets to make the choice. I would not give that control over to just anyone, but I know this Man loves me and wants only what is best for Our family and I also know He listens to everything I say and takes it into consideration before taking a step. That is what submission is, it is a person willingly relinquishing control to another and being the One in control means You protect the trust that has been placed in You.

I have been on the Sim for two months, I have never been sold, I have never been asked/told to “service” anyone, in fact escorting is not allowed.

Have I been asked to dance naked? Uhh yes, that is originally how I came to be there. I was hired as a dancer. I have danced in other clubs, I have competed in the PDSL Miss Pole Dancer Competitions and I would ask you if participating in those things makes me a whore? Or if it makes the owners pimps?

I have worked as an escort a few times and I can assure you that what is happening on Master’s Sim is not the same at all. Also, Johns and prostitutes have all of a couple of hours at most to form a "relationship" it is purley superfical and therefore not a relationship. And since I can actually speak from a point of experience and knowledge maybe you can accept that you might not be correct in your assertion of His pimp status. Some stock enjoy being naked and exposed, used by one or many. I personally don’t. Being a sub or slave is not about that for me. It’s a much deeper commitment that goes far beyond sex; sex in fact is only one expression of this bond.

For example, I kneel nude and open at my Master’s feet because I trust Him, I adore Him and it is a physical expression of my feelings. Kneeling is symbolic, a collar is symbolic, being naked is symbolic, a wedding ring is symbolic, none of these are “required” to have a relationship but it is a way of showing you are proud to be where you are. I gladly kneel nude with the full knowledge of what it means to Him, to me and to the people around us. It is not sexual, it is an outward expression of my submission.

Please be clear Rose (even though you said you were done) and everyone else, I am not one to attack someone for any reason. This is just an honest comment on everything I have read here today. I have many friends that do not participate in the life I have chosen and we honestly respect each other's decision. But I do not get the feeling that you (Rose) honestly respect any of us. You may not understand or agree with this and that’s okay, but to say that you have not been insulting to our lifestyle is stretching the truth at best. You have made many snide remarks about my Master and about the community in general. And although I think you have picked up on our frustration with your comments you seem to have misinterpreted them. It is not that W/we think you don’t have the right to choose something else, that couldn’t be further from the truth. It is that you have come across as belittling and rude to people that welcomed you with open arms. I did not sense any earnestness on your part in seeking to understand more about Gor or BDSM. Maybe it was there but the underlying current of your posts masked it.

And Yes I am another first time poster because I actually didn’t know about the forums until today. I’ll be sure to be more vocal in the future so that my opinion will then be valid. Perhaps, I am biased about Master. But to be fair I know Him better than the majority of people posting here, aside from some of His friends and some of my sisters that have decided, on their own, to comment.

Great post Kera,

I've explored the BDSM lifestyle but unlike Rose am taking my time to understand it. BTW there are schools in SL that teach it. Rose, you should of started there or simply asked more about it. Its like joining a polar bear club to see the bears in the zoo then getting up in arms because people get undressed and run into freezing cold water. lol. If you just talked to people you would of learned much more than a few hours hanging around without really drilling anyone for information. From what I read it really doesn't sound like you talked to anyone. It sounds like you hid in the background. That route takes a hell of a lot longer than a few hours to do.

There a many great things in that community that if you really took more than a few hours you would of learned.

One of the greatest things that I took away from what I learned so far, with lots of questions, reading, talking after months, yes I'm a through learner, lol, are the oaths/pledges that slaves and masters make to each other. In essence they say what they want and expect out of each other. No wonder they are much happier. You know right at the beginning what you both need to be happy and get to it or work it out. To just put the whole BDSM community down is a shame. The Master/slave Dom/sub dynamic is about a level of commitment, responsibility and trust in one another (this goes both ways) that they don't get anywhere else.

Also Rose, you keep going on about how you and the puritans are the majority but if you really looked at the life style and then looked around you in RL you would realize that the BDSM community is a pretty big portion of the population, you probably walk past a staggering amount of people in that lifestyle without knowing it. Try putting on a collar or cuff in RL and you be surprised how many people know what it is and know what it means and how many more actually are part of that community.

nuff said.

Chai

PS. if anyone wants to help me learn or point me in the right direction contact me in game.

Kera,

Thank you for your comments.





My only experience with your lifestyle (except for one situation that I will mention later) was during the afternoon I spent in your sim. It was not a positive experience. Do I have respect for your auctioneer who tells me to put on a collar, then zaps me with it? Especially when I don't know that the collar I was told to put on will do that? And all because I was joking with him in a way that he didn't care for? No, I can't respect a man like that. You may have reason to respect this man, but I know of no reason that I would respect him, and many reasons that I would not. It seemed to me that the auctioneer intentionally created situations of pain and humiliation because he enjoyed causing discomfort to others. This is not a trait that I respect.

I personally have an issue with the concept of intentionally causing pain simply because the person enjoys causing discomfort to others. I do not respect people who participate in this. It is my understanding that people who follow the BDSM lifestyle either enjoy causing pain to others or enjoy receiving pain. I enjoy neither of these. On the other hand, if you choose this lifestyle, I feel strongly that you have a right to this lifestyle or any other that you choose.

From what the other women who are under his care have written, my experience was different than theirs. I don't know why. Perhaps because my av is pretty? I don't know. There is a stereotypical feeling that people into the BDSM lifestyle particularly like to cause pain to attractive women. I have no idea if there is any truth behind this or not.



I admit to snide remarks about the auctioneer. I admitted in a previous post that I stayed in your sim long enough that I developed anger towards him. He hurt and humiliated me. The vast majority of people will become angry at someone who hurts and humiliates them. I should have left your sim before I had a chance to become angry. I apologize for snide remarks toward your auctioneer.

I did not intend to make snide remarks about your lifestyle and apologize if my remarks were construed in that way. I am wondering if at least some of you aren't a bit defensive due to the lack of total acceptance of your lifestyle by our society.

There is another factor that I have told no one.

The concept of S/M is very much a part of the family I was born into. There were instances of murder, suicide, sadism, incest. I'm not trying to gain sympathy. This was a good many years ago. Many have had much worse to deal with. I tell you this because understanding why people follow your lifestyle is very important with respect to understanding the family I was born into, and the factors that shaped me into the person I have become. So not only is it important to me to understand, but I cannot view your lifestyle completely with a clean slate.

The route I took was not to just "hang around." The scenario was this: the auctioneer talked to me a bit about the slave auction. I responded that I didn't want to be sold as a slave, but that I wanted to learn what he had to teach. He told me to strip and wear the collar and cuffs. Perhaps this was the wrong route, but it seemed reasonable to me.



The problem was not that I didn't stay long enough. The problem was that I stayed too long. I stayed until I became angry with what appeared to me to be pain and humiliation caused because the auctioneer enjoys causing pain and humiliation. I stayed longer than I should have because I wanted to understand the lifestyle.

Here's the ironic part of all this: a number of us are going on about the philosophy of the sim lifestyle. The auctioneer told me this:
He runs the slave auction better than any one else because it is a business to him.

The important thing to the auctioneer is not some esoteric philosophy, it is getting lindens by selling slaves.

I am not doubting that he cares for those he considers part of his family, but I wasn't one of those. All I was to the auctioneer was a certain potential number of lindens. The concept of the pimp is again the one that comes to mind.

Ah I see. I'm sorry I assumed and of course with assuming I made an ass of myself.

The problem is there is an expected protocol in how you treat people and what you do. like saying Master not master and what you say and when it's said kind of thing. Mostly its about respect which gets confusing when a Master making fart jokes or the slaves rag on him in a polite way or everyone horses around at an amusement park (this is any Master not just the one talked about here). So your experience will be much different than what I know, which is different than my female friend who went to be a slave and got away with much worse horsing around than anyone before her. Depends on the Master and how they are dealt with.

I would start with something lighter than jumping into an auction, which you learned the hard way. I would look up O BDSM school and check out their Saturday class which teaches beginning BDSM. I run into people with little concept or wildly wrong ideas of what it's all about and I try to steer them into learning more before getting into the RP aspects. I don't consider myself learned enough to try to teach them. Despite the talk in the BDSM vs Gor thread I run into a lot of blurred lines and confusing mixes of both. The school will help with BDSM and your Gor leads will help you with that side.

Good luck in your travels.

Please Rose. Please. Come talk to me in world and I'll give you every ounce of my perspective, which is only my perspective after all.

What you are describing there is not BDSM. It's not SM. It's abuse at best. A sadist and a masochist are engaged in a mutually enjoyable (hard to believe as it may be) thing which is wanted. A sadist doing something to someone who does NOT want it is an abuser.

I'm really sorry to hear that this is your family background ... but that is not what ANY of this is about, be that in world or in the big wide world out there.

I'm really hoping that when I fly back from the States later this year it will be in a very uncomfortable state. I want to squirm in my seat, if things have gone to plan, not because of any bad reason but because it will remind me for the whole 9 hours of the great time I had, and what I shared with him. I live in hope anyway. I hope I am not jinxing that hope by even stating it, I'm just thinking of it as a holiday for now.

The Ds world does look strange from the outside, and I am being very careful not to look like I am attacking you. That life is my real life too, chosen deliberately and cherished as a part of who I am. Abuse has zero part of it, life should be a celebration and that's how I party.

Cherry tends to be right about such matters Rose, she is worth paying attention to.

May I ask a question?

It seems that plenty of time and effort goes into training "slaves", but is there any training for "slave owners"?

Very little.. too little...

There are some great books, and some very good websites, but in SL i see very little advice for Dominants. One place that does cover this is and a very wide range of topics relating to BDSM, is The BDSM Forum (not inworld just now, but you will find it if you search groups).

Many people come to SL looking for kinky sex and think they can just plunge in.. all they need is a whip and a baddass attitude and it doesn't matter that they know nothing about it, about the emotional explosions, the dangers, the sub-drop (and top-drop) that can follow a heavy play session (educating people about this is one of my particular missions). They think because it's pixels and remote, nothing is really being touched.. Its not so.

I am not poiinting this at anyone in particular.. just regretting the fact that while there are resources available, inworld and outworld, people often dont bother, and you get the Dominants that are what I call the four Ws... Wusses, Wankers, Wimps and Wannabees.

Ask ten submissives what sub drop is, and 8 of them wont know. So when the server crashes or the Wanker quits on them because he got bored or got his rocks off, and they are left feeling shaky and down, they dont know why or how to deal with it.

Rant off.. sorry. its important

imogen

Thank you for your words of wisdom, ChaiBoy, and for pointing out where one should begin if one wishes to understand something of the BDSM lifestyle.

Good luck in your travels also. Whether you learned it in your travels to understand BDSM or elsewhere, you have a wisdom which will serve you well.

/me looks at Imogen, looks at the sub drop ... grins ... gives her a good long cuddle and a drink and a Mars Bar and sits with her for a good long while.

She speaks absolute truth here. Online and offline, the behaviour of many appall me and having had a very nasty drop very early on it took me a long time to return to even thinking about switching. In the case of that guy it was made worse for me by the lengths HE had gone to during the negotitation (he was a switch) about how he couldn't bear that situation.

He inadvertently gave me useful advice in his callousness i.e. have a cuppa. It does work. A few weeks later when he turned back up begging me to give him another chance I tested out the bastinado cane I'd specifically made in case he ever showed back up again, then sent him packing. Took about a year to get him to stop wandering round IRC pulling puppy dog eyes, luckily I didn't see him again rl.

No there's no real training other than by peers, I'd say. There are people here who claim to be trainers of Doms and Dommes, perhaps they are but they have no place in my life. I've learned most by doing and/or seeing - and particularly by experimenting on myself with stuff before doing it to other people.

/me shares my three questions to the self aggrandising with Imogen then (and I can answer these in my own right): What's your favoured warm up? What brain chemistry changes do you think cause drop, and how do you avoid it? and my favourite (cos I am a brat) is "So, you understand space for a sub right? How would you describe hitting Topspace". My favourite answer to that was always "A feeling of joy and wonder" which has gotten a LOT funnier since Charlie the Unicorn. My answer to is was ... well if anyone wants to know that, IM me, it's not suitable for here. LOL.

Sounds like there's a need for some proper info in world really. I'm short of a project - I have a group fairly idle too ... hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Deira, I love you x LOL

Thank you so much, Cherry. I will watch for you in-world.



My experience has been that certain people enjoy having power over others. Bringing pain and humiliation to others is enjoyable to them. These are the people Imogen describes as coming to SL for kinky sex. Again, this was a part of the family I was born into. I had thought this was a large part of BDSM. I thought I saw these traits in the auctioneer. This is what I was responding to with anger.



I had always equated the sadist and the domme. Now I am extremely curious. There is a difference?



Thank you for giving me new insight into the BDSM lifestyle. I have learned something new today.

I certainly hope things all work out for you as you wish.

I have learned something today: Cherry, Imogen, and ChaiBoy are all embracing a philosophy which has nothing to do with domme = abuser.

Is that what the sim I visited is all about and I didn't see it? Did I interpret the auctioneer's actions as abusive because there was an abuser in the family I was born into? Or did I see the auctioneer as an abuser because he really is an abuser?

I came away from my afternoon in the slave auction sim with the certainty that the raison d'existence for the sim was to make lindens by selling the services of others and catering to those who come to SL for kinky sex. Is this wrong?

I am very interested in hearing from those in the sim.

Bull, this is specifically directed at you: is there a philosophy behind your slave market other than making Lindens?




Conversations such as this have led me to believe that making lindens is your primary motivation. I came away from my afternoon in your sim convinced that making lindens selling other people's services and taking pleasure in causing humiliation are the only motivations behind your sim.

Did I misjudge you?

It's an auction, that's what they do. Personally, if people are willing to pay that sort of money then good on him for paying his tier!

Perhaps a phrase from someone who I have known rl for a very long time might explain it - if he is spanked it is like being given a "deeper hug".

I wish you'd leave this alone tho Rose, seriously They really are feeling the spotlight on them, and whilst I have a lot of understanding of what they are doing/thinking/wanting I can say for sure that being asked to talk about things that matter to them deeply (regardless of the outlet they are employing when in the sim) is not fair. Maybe you should IM some of the posters - especially the ladies - and talk to them directly?

There is nothing wrong with kinky sex... Hell I LOVE kinky sex.

Many many people have posted here in the forums about BDSM... so i wont go over it all over again... but just to clarify one point... what BDSM actually stands for.. you know, the letters...

It actually stands for three things...

BD stands for Bondage and Discipline

DS stands for Domination and submission....

and finally

SM stands for Sado/Masochism. - remember this.. i will be coming back to it in a minute...

The whole package is sooooooooooo variable and soooooooooo open to interpretation that you cant define it simply by 4 little letters...

A very wise Dominant once said to me "There are as many types of BDSM as there are people into it, because they all have their own take on it"

And thats FINE!! so long as they go into it with open eyes, open hearts, and open minds, and a will to learn about it and what they are doing .. and most of all CONSENT.

Some of the kinks out there make my blood curdle... i don't want to be stuck full of needles or face-slapped or peed on.... (and there are worse things) ... but... if they do, and they both consent, and they do it so nobody gets harmed, fine...

Rose, you ask if ...

"... certain people enjoy having power over others. Bringing pain and humiliation to others is enjoyable to them. These are the people Imogen describes as coming to SL for kinky sex. Again, this was a part of the family I was born into. I had thought this was a large part of BDSM. I thought I saw these traits in the auctioneer. This is what I was responding to with anger."


Perhaps so... and they might enjoy it, both sides might enjoy it.. you wouldn't believe the stuff i have seen in RL and what some sub missives get pleasure from enduring and the Dominants also find something they enjoy there too,

... but they do, and its not my kink, but its ok with me so long as they want it, consent to it, and are safe at the end of it.

BD DS SM.... never forget that if you want it, you can have the SM too. IF you don't, you only have to say.

Imogen

I would much prefer an on-line discussion with those concerned, but I can't have it. They have no interest in discussing the issue with me. I have been muted.

Oh I dunno Imogen a little (gentle) face slapping can be ...

NVM!

Rose, I think the real lesson in this for you - and it's a lesson we've all learned - is that what you want is not necessarily the priority of other people... and in this case if someone were asking me in public this long I'd have been getting more and more surreal in my answers. For the hell of it. Actually, one person aside, I think that there was some heated debate but you were treated with a lot more leniency than most of the Forum people here would show each other. And this is a kittysoft paw paw Forum ...

So I'd suggest that if you don't want to discuss it with them in private you should consider your appetite sated ... calling them to keep going is futile at best.

I believe that we have found a point of agreement here: sex is a good thing. Let's hear it for sex. Yay!! =D



I believe the issue of consent is the sticking point with me. Consent was not a part of the abusive environment I grew up in. True, SL isn't RL. Here we can just TP out if we don't enjoy something, and that is what I did to end my afternoon of training, because I didn't enjoy it.



What I thought I saw during the afternoon of slave training was people who enjoy causing humiliation to others, who enjoy activating the collar and watching another writhe in virtual pain, who would actually prefer doing this RL to another. I realize there are those who also take pleasure in being humiliated and in pain. I am not one of those. If there is more to the slave auction sim than this, I did not see it.

The premise of this thread was my afternoon of slave training, not a condemnation of the BDSM lifestyle.

On humiliation - from both sides of the coin here.

As a sub - and the people who can do this to me in the whole world are countable with plenty of change from the fingers on one hand - there's certain things, little things, make me blush to my roots and feel all powerless and helpless and small (you don't know me, people who do might well take pleasure in that thought - and those who do are actually taking part in the humiliation - it's ALWAYS best with an audience.

Do I feel bad at that time? No. I really don't and neither would they. I know, at that time, that I am the very centre of the universe to the one whose attention is all on me.

How do I know this? Been in the opposite situation many many times. Knowing what makes that person tick, what pushes their buttons, makes them react sometimes against their will (or at least the will they admit to, to others and also to themselves, secretly relishing that they have "no choice".

And I know that person is feeling slightly dizzy, slightly euphoric, possibly really embarassed but delighted - and probably also very turned on.

How is this a bad thing?

However - there's no place in that for really abusive things. Calling someone useless, pathetic, worthless, stupid or ugly - well some people get off on that but I'd question their self esteem. Top or bottom. Mind you, simple cluelessness on the part of the top can cause that to be the case as they take their cue from someone just as clueless.

I realise that rose, from the way you have kept a cool head and a genuine interest during this discussion. I was obviously speaking to you first, in case you didn't understand all that, but not just speaking to you, but others who might be watching this thread, who didn't know.

You did the right thing, to leave if you were not comfortable with what was going on. Perhaps the afternoon you were there was unusual, or perhaps not, I dont know... but there IS a lot more to D/s than zapping. I hope you had a cuppa afterwards, and that you have found your equilibrium again... be well
hugs
imogen