What is wrong with this Secondlife world?

IMO I think if youre feeling hurt about what some pixelated man may or may not have done or the way theyve treated you then youre taking it all way too seriously.
Remember at the end of the day its only a game ,always has been always will be and besides you dont even know whether these men are even really men. I suggest lightening up a little and maybe have a break so you can see the big picture a bit more clearly.

that's not wut you said originally:

i am not looking for sex. i wil constantly state it if need be, and that won't be a lie. i am saying i am not interested in sex in SL, and that's not talk for show. you can back-peddle all day and night, you're still wrong.

and it must be about you, as you seem to be an authority who is actually having sex in SL. or was that a lie? and 'no means no' is always an issue. apprantly you simply ignore that, cuz i'm saying NO and you are arguing with me.

lots of contradictions here. *mute* period.

yeah you totally qualify as one of those little buggy rides that look like old fashioned A-model Fords that go about 2 mph and have bumper rails so you have to go in the right direction at all times. disneyland type. perfect.

I've found that there're usually two types in SecondLife - the people who view it as a game, and the people who view it as another form of communication method.

The people who view it as a game are the ones who are more likely to damage someone emotionally, and the ones who view it as a communication method are the ones who are likely to get damaged.

Not everyone views it as a game; not everyone will treat you like an NPC.

Hey, hey, hey, let's not get into that now.. next thing you know we will be having to prove that we match...

Regarding, your actual post... - Somehow you always manage to give me a good laugh and a pang of admiration.

.d

You'll always be in my book........

Sounds bit boring....
I rather not classify myself or my relationships pixel or other wise.
Sometimes its fun to create those virtual branding irons, a haunted house, other times be naughty and playful shapeshifting forest imp, other times toilet humor related shacks.
But not sure how this becomes a ride
But anyway I am not selling tickets I decided to have no ticket policy for any ride I may become its just easier.
Anything I can conjure naughty wise sometimes is best to remain with in the prim cells within my private pixel mind.
Anyway I prefer relationships in SL are usually about creative team work, fun, being playful, sometimes serious drama slips in but the thing is you don't want drama to be like the vistor who over stays their welcome either.
I have lot of female friends that I am very close too, very close and intimate with but its very platonic and I prefer it that way.
I did once try to hire escort, they even were willing to give me freebie, spent all night with me but I just couldn't get into jumping on top of pixel ball...it just seemed bit too boring regardless whether or not my prim cells were briefly in restricted mode, it faded fast and we ended up doing something else.
I end up making the Mistress a branding iron instead.

Starling!

Eu quero ter o amor doce com você!

Oi...

Oiiiiiiiiii !!!

OOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIiiiii!!!

Sex

------------------------
(sorry, couldn't resist)

I have to say this fails the Dawkins Test. Dawkins suggested that every time some TV program blames "a scientist" or "science", they should substitute "a black scientist" or "black science" and see if they still felt comfortable saying it - his point being, prejudice or stereotyping isn't just restricted to the old targets of -isms (racism, sexism etc), and a good test of whether you are ignoring the human and just tilting at the label is to change the category-of-the-moment and see if it still flies.

I find I can't play SL as a girl; and I also find the most shocking and continual negativity towards male avs in SL. One is damned before one's mouth has even opened - out come all these tired old saws as listed here by Sling, without taking a moment to discover whether they actually apply to the person driving the av/character. From an european perspective these are sharpened further by the deep US antipathy to the idea that it's even possible to have non-exploting, non-demeaning sex: the standard response to this problem, so I am advised over and over again, is just to play as a girl. That's how you get treated with respect, so they say, so why not just slip on a pair of boobs and some makeup... it only takes a minute...

Well, I ain't gonna do it: what's more, I don't think these "virtual bitches" (to stick up a nice fresh stereotype of my own) have thought through the results of their presumptions. Guys playing as guys are TRAINED TO BE NASTY by the absolute barrage of rejection and negativity they encounter; they are left no other role than to be DickMonsters, because that's all that is expected of them the minute they TP in.

Let's get it straight: there is no validity to the old position of "women good, man bad", and anyone who continually re-presents that neat homily is doomed to repeat the mistakes of history. There is also no validity to the idea that utter abrogation of libido is the source of either good, or sustainable relationships, no matter how fervently some people may propose it.

yes, very good point - though I would say, it's the sidebands that catch you, whichever tribe you may be in: unexpected signals (visual or in what people say and when they say it) that leave you stunned. There's an unhealthy online culture (manifested in SL as griefing) which says it's good sport to find people's buttons and go press them, no matter what they are, and that having buttons is a sign of weakness. You could argue that this outlook comes from a fairly narrow strata of society in a small range of countries (let's not point fingers just yet): I'm not sure this makes much of a difference to the response to it. As has been said here already, a few less misanthrope-o's for breakfast would probably be a good idea.

Well, look at the situation. Men are told over and over again that they are the bad types, that they "think with their dick" and so on. Then they are told that having sex is something begrudged by an indifferent woman who, if they should disagree with her, will leave with 50% of their life's assets.

In what way would this encourage them to start or maintain a capital-R relationship?

(in RL, the response to all this in London has lead to an immense mushrooming of the escort business - both the with-sex and without-sex kinds - in which fundamentally the guy pays the girl not for the companionship, but to go away and leave him alone afterwards. It's still used as a marriage bureau by "adventurous" ladies though, and lately as a money mill by organised criminals. If things can get THAT bad THAT fast - this is strictly a post-2000 problem here - in RL, imagine how quickly this can change inside SL!)

Oh yes, absolutely without a doubt. Likewise the ones who put "forever devoted to Nincompoop Nimoy, you are the light of my life..." are pose-ball maniacs with 450 different bukkake overlay patterns. Expediency in declaration is the rule, not the exception.

I'm late on this topic, but I'll throw in my two Lindens anyhow:

I think the problem in itself is your choice to use SL as a 'hook up.' Sure, there are great partnerships and relationships founded in SL...but to expect a relationship that is 'normal' or 'mature' is certainly going to lead you down the road to disappointment.

Expectation leads to disappointment. And you most certainly shouldn't expect a SL 'partnership' to resemble a RL one.

OK, cut it this way: the people who change their minds about what it says in their profile, and have sex anyway, make life a lot harder for those who want their profile promises taken with ultimate seriousness.

Perhaps I'm hanging out in the wrong spots, but I've never had occassion to be anything other than as pleasant as I can be in-game. I don't think that men or women have a monopoly on the giving or receiving of rejection and negativity. Nor have I found in the world as a whole that women or men are better or worse than each other, they usually just have different expressions of "unkind". So I do agree that the homily is not just outdated but always was a fantasy.

It may also help that I make no connection to the gender of the avatar to that of the player. It tends to make me think of them as "humans".

I don't think being rude, crude or nasty is gender specific thing either but men depending on their cultures are encouraged to behave like beer swilling, crotch scratching, often encouraged to make as many notches in the bed post so to speak.
I am guy....I am gay, with bisexual leanings and I am not humping, pixel or other wise everything that moves and I have no interest in doing so and I only scratch my crotch privately.
Sterotypes are sterotypes.
Personally I always have found the male versus female thing distasteful and broadly offensive and I never understood it.

it might clarify things if i advise you that i am, in no way, discussing pixel sex (or any other kind of sex). i am simply saying you are funny, in an amusement park kind of way.

OK
I did say "most" men, but I'll happily change that to "most avatar" men. I'll happily change it to "most black jewish men" - just as long as we accept that I'd also change it to "most pink/brown/yellow/protestant/scientist/whatever men".

I don't reject male advances in a cruel way (unless someone interprets "no thanks" as being cruel).
From Orientation Island onwards, I've been hit on by both sexes. I'm not boasting here. It just happens in SL - even when I was a noob in standard Night Club Girlgear.
Every time I logged in and got dumped in the Welcome area, there would be a few male avatars waiting to pounce. It got real tedious. Log in a fly up as soon as Pg Up started listening to my finger

"the standard response to this problem, so I am advised over and over again, is just to play as a girl. That's how you get treated with respect,..."
Ha! Just try it then. See how much respect you get - until you have to start putting manners on people.


The point of my post was not to be anti-male. I certainly would not subscribe to "women good, man bad".
That's a bit Animal Farm - "Two legs good, Three legs bad"
Yes - Three!! - LOL!


I've met women who would leave any man well behind for nastiness, cruelty and general card-carrying unpleasantness.
I've met some very pleasant guys.

Like it or not, men in general have a completely natural urge to spread their seed, and women in general have an urge to select what they see is the best quality seed.
SL amplifies everything. We therefore see a lot more seed being offered.

Don't stress. It's only human nature - amplified and released from many of the controls that apply in RL.


"they are left no other role than to be DickMonsters, because that's all that is expected of them the minute they TP in."
Yeah! Sure! They made me do it.



For anyone who is approaching members of whatever sex that floats their boat (and the context of the approach is sex-influenced):

If you are feeling rejected, then do something different.
I don't have a problem approaching either male or female. It's rare to be responded to in an abusive fashion. Perhaps the fact that sex isn't on my agenda helps?

There are wonderful people of whatever sexes wandering SL.
Head out and enjoy SL. Do some building. Explore. Along the way, you'll bump into people (of male/female/indeterminate/variable sex) who will become friends.
You might even have sex with them, but that's incidental.

Oh okay.... thanks I appreciate it.
I try to be amusing.
Anyway I have to confess in this thread I have been tiny bit silly because of the subject
matter.
At least you've been the only one here who found it amusing or me amusing..
Someone mentioned men coming up and say hi, I am guy without a penis....and I thought
Hey that's me but never thought it would get me anything either way.
My theory is all of us guy avatars are just permenantly Ruthed female avatars with no boobs and sometimes beards. LOL
Being man in SL doesn't require walking around without pants with mega prim bits attached or on the constant prowl.
Nor are we required to have partners in SL.
I could never deal with the amount of sexualizing females pixel or real wise put up with and as guy I tend to be the femmey guy friend role, could never imagine sexualizing someone for my own selfish wants especially females because I have too much respect for them and they have so much better clothes....but I wouldn't want to be one, even pretending but thats me personally.

I think this is being overanalyzed.

The Original Poster belongs to 4 lesbian groups.

The First one mentioned is basically "Lesbian Porn" turned into a club.

The others are pride groups and a Lesbian singles group by the name.

She's not even going to come across as Bi to a typical Profile browser.

How is the OP going to meet a Man who is serious and thoughtful about a hetero SL relationship?

Since any man actually looking for a relationship will stop and take the time to read her profile. And more often then not hes going to read that as a potential friend, rather than SLove.

A straight woman would usually not start dropping hints to a guy whose profile said he belonged to 4 gay groups, a straight man isn't going to seriously persue a woman who belongs to 4 gay (not bi) groups either.

So the ones shes going to attract are going to be guys not looking for a serious hetero SL relationship. Shes going to meet guys who don't care about who they are with, and guys who want to score with "teh hawt lesbian chick".

So while theres plenty of fish in the sea, shes using the wrong bait.

Interesting. I hadn't thought of trying that. I tend to be a cat instead of human for the simple reason that I do not have a penis attachment in inventory, and feared someone would try to make me prove that I match, or something like that. Or, just that a relationship would advance and somewhere along the line a bed or the like would appear. At which point I'd stutter something about not having an attachment.

He just might not have an attachment or fear you would see it and run screaming. I am in the first category.

Yeah I didn't get that.
Maybe she wants a man that is also a Lesbian?

So, how long is long enough to start a thread like this, then?

I'm not even sure how one goes about buying a penis