What is wrong with this Secondlife world?

/me wonders whether Friday is early or late

Timing/sequence is important in this
Humour, sensuousness, buzz, sexuality. Then maybe sex, but not before.

Without the humour, the meeting of minds buzz, SL 'sex' is just 3D cartoon porn facilitated by poseballs.

Not that I'm totally knocking porn btw. It just gets tedious after a while.
The good thing about the mindless drivel that Xcite attachments spew (over and over) is that it really gets one longing for a challenging build.

While I (well, actually, it's my alt) am not technically partnered at the moment, I am very much in a relationship with someone. Iwould not be surprised at all if this becomes a partnership.

I was not looking for it, nor was he. We met in sort of an off-beat way, but found ourselves, by the end of the evening, having a very deep connection with each other which went far beyond what it started out as.

Both of us were utterly stupified by this. It went against everything we both thought we came to SL for. We both hoped to find friends, that much was true but never ever thought to find this kind of relationship. Let alone, to find such a kindred spirit.

Both of us, in RL, are in committed relationships and we both hold no illusions that our SL situation is anything but a fantasy - but I can tell you that in SL, it is very intense, and very real.

And, like Sling mentioned, without the humor, buzz, sensuousness, conversation (geez, we both can talk) the sex would just be, well silly looking sex. With all that other stuff, it really seems elevated to something else.

Don't worry so much about finding someone, as others have mentioned. As in RL, sometimes you get what you want when you least expect it.

oo man bashing thread i'm so with that

also watch that comment about the two brains i'm pretty sure most people will vouch for the fact I have none

With regards with what is wrong with second life ...

well two things its a virtual world and not really a good place to look for this kind of stuff and there are two MAIN types of male players in this game . This doesnt mean that guys play this for other reasons I'm sure they are there I just haven't found many that fit into the "i'm just here to be friends category" lol.

the guys out for teh sex, rock n' roll
the geek guys who are in sl mostly for the creation

it the women folk who are the social butterflies mostly

also read profiles you will get a better idea of what that person is about

Lastly looking for a girlfriend or boyfriend in SL like in real life is an exercise in drama. I say stay away make friends and forget about the "partners"

this here is village idoitit certifiable uh advice!

Hey, my RL wife brought me here. I miss the gambling but there are some nice clubs to go dance at... off track there for a second. I'd never cheat on my wife in any world. No other women I've met are as smart, kind and giving as she is. Plus she does not dress like a tramp.

I hate to let out the secret; as The Wife says: "A man chases a woman until she catches him." I shuddered over comitment so don't be shocked that guys don't like the "C" word here either. We dated for nine years before I asked her to marry me.

You need to relax and just have a good time. The right guy always comes along when you're not looking...you women can be too eager. I for one, found that a turn off while dating. I was lucky enough to land the one that almost got away.

Maneo

This made me laugh so loud I scared my betta.

I have to agree with everyone else about it finding you. I wasn't looking, didn't come into SL looking and had no intention of looking. But, there he was on the ground at my feet, bald, prince charming skin, still reeking of that help island smell. And as of 2 weeks ago, "I's murried now" .

I'm a Lesbian, so Attracting men isn't a Huge priority with me, But in the last three years, i seem to have had no touble at all Attracting members of Either sex, seeking long term relationships.
If you are looking for people who won't Cheat, or Lie, Well, you find those the same way everyone else does. Trial, and Error.

To find a single Diamond, you have to sift through a LOT of Sand.
Patience.

Angel.

Hi I am FD Spark, I am guy without a penis. I find them problematic and they are prone to chafing and jock itch. Oh did I mention prim splinters and penis showing through the avatar pants syndrome?
But I have no desire for a partner either because you see I lack a penis.
Which really sucks cause I am also gay but because I lack penis and sex drive none of the virtual gay men find me particularly interesting. I don't really find them interesting either.
Its extremely hard to find other Gay Fae-Elves who are tiny, ken dolls with no interest in sex and only want to create and aren't interested in procreating.

Agree 100%! As well as love often finding one when not looking.

Anecdote: There were a couple of single ladies who were regulars at a jazz club where I used to work. Most every night they stood by the bar and in public chat lamented the scarcity of single men in SL and why did everyone else find a partner except them, blah, blah, blah.

Often single men were around as well. And they wondered why they weren't asked to dance.

How do you spell D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-I-O-N?

OH, and I'm one who was definitely NOT looking to be partnered. Who met a man who was DEFINITELY NOT looking to be partnered.

Errr...we're now partnered...to each other.

Partnerships and Marriages are two of the most taboo words among most men in sl. Don't you know this?

Why must you get married or partnered? Will it make a relationship better? If anything, just as in rl after you get married things begin to go down hill for some. Doing this doesn't prove anything, just that you're announcing to the world you're together, that's it for the most part. And this won't stop infidelity either.

Same with the profiles. All they bring is problems to both men and women alike. Oh, yes, women too. Women do the same as men but they just tend to get away a bit more as far as the extra boyfriends and such.

I really find this whole concept of partnering here rather juvenile. I'm not talking about genuine partnerships but I've had a couple of girls I've gone dancing with hit me with the "Shall we be BF/GF".

I did that sort of shit when I was 14. If there's anything that's guaranteed to make me run a mile it's talk of commitment, hence why an RL ex threw a magazine at my head with a front page headline of "Men who are afraid to commit".

Now it's not cheating and wanting to have my cake and eat it, it's just that any partnership needs to be built on a bit of trust, surely?

Unattached women are very often looking for a committed relationship. Unattached men very rarely are. Mostly, if men are interested in sex, they are interested in catting around, RL or SL. The only reason there are men in committed relationships at all is that now and then a marriage demon sneaks up behind them, perhaps while they are sleeping, and hits them over the head with a two by four. At which point they jump up and rush out madly looking for the first acceptable woman that will have them, and they marry same. Since the women are always on the lookout, such men aren't in this condition long before being snapped up, by someone. Which is why there are so few available men looking for a commitment at any given time, and so many women.

Crummy, I know, but there you are.

Made more complicated in SL because you never really know (even though you can often guess) whether that gorgeous super-model knockout has a RL woman or a RL man behind it. If you're just into pixel sex, it might or might not matter so much who you are collaborating with on your mutual porn video improvisation. But if you are talking about a Relationship, with a capital R, it matters a lot. And you thought men were skittish in RL. Hah!

"Love" in Second Life is probably more complex than its real life equivalent. You have layers of anonymity to tear through, and you probably won't get very far. "She'll only reveal what she wants you to see"..

But Starling.. sweety darling.. and I mean this in the most sincerely helpful way..

If I were a straight guy (and I'm not), interested in settling down with a lady in Second Life.. and I had a glance at the profile of a prospective partner.. and I saw:

Member of Kittens Lesbian Erotica Lover
Member of Lesbian Power
Member of Lesbian Pride
Member of Lesbian Singles

I might just be a tad bit intimidated. Even more intimidating..

Member of The Forum Cartel

In all seriousness, (I pointed these groups out just for the comic irony, not to be insulting) I think you just need to be patient. You'll find your man. It most often happens when you've taken time off from looking. Kinda like real life.

I have to agree with Zaphod being the member of 4 lesbian groups isn't going to help anyone find a "good" man.

It might help find one with a lesbian porn fetish though.

I understand your wish to try and find Love, I really do. However if that is really what you are looking for it takes time, bare in mind not everyone in SL is as serious about relationships as you are. Many of my SL female friends are Married or otherwise involved IRL, and yet choose to have relationships in SL for fun, so it is not just men that lie, cheat, or don't take relationships in SL seriously.

Starling, my suggestion is, start slow, don't get to worked up about guys having more than one girl on the go at a time, as long as they are honest about it. Don't limit yourself to one guys friend off the bat either until you find one that is what you want and both of you can agree to be exclusive. Treat them as friends first, and let things go from there, I may not be the best to get relationship advice from, but it's a tip I received from a very good older guy friend that is very happily married so it must have some merit.

Believe it or not Starling, I am in the same boat, though I am leery about using SL to find my love, I am less against it than I have been in the past. So I do hope you find what you are seeking, because I know the feeling.

Yep, as a single guy not really looking though, seeing a profile like this just screams don't bother trying, it's wrong because it doesn't mean the lady isn't bisexual, but it's just the first reaction that comes to my mind. "Menber of Forum Cartel"? gawd that sounds kinky enough to reinterest me though
Hmm basically I've been interested in 2 women in SL so far and they both told we they just wanted to be friends, so I went along with that thinking fair enough, I dropped the subject, I assume "no" means "no", after both have got partnered up with other people they then tell me they were playing hard to get? :/
I'm only looking for a RL relatonship if it's local, not interested in LDR's, but then again love sometimes just hits you from where you don't expect. I also find not having a human AV seems to make many women comfortble with me as friends but not interested in a relationship, so My names Tegg and I have a penis somewhere in my inventory, I'd have to search for it, if an alt hasn't borrowed it

I would get partnered up with someone in SL, and I am a male, and no I am not after sex at all. In SL I am looking for friends thats about it, and hey if it grows to somthing else and ends up staying in SL or moving into RL then so be it...if its made to happen it will....

thats my two cents

will you be my new best friend? after all that, i find you the most attractive ride in the amusement park.

and I actually do not agree with that, maybe it was a joke but not all men are looking for sex, I myself had been in a relationship with someone for about a year and a half and the topic of sex never came up, we enjoyed each others company and spent almost every moment of everyday together. As for why it ended it was a terrible accident...she was struck head on by a drunk driver on the way to her friends house.

Just because some men want sex doesn't mean that this is the mindset for all men out there.

LOLOLOL i so get you!

I asked my rl friend if I was a fun amusement park ride, He responded, "You have to check but you definitely could be."
I never thought about selling tickets. I am friendly loner but if you bug me enough you can be friends with me too.

LOLOL really depends on what you charge for tickets...

For the most part people who constantly state they're not looking for sex in sl, lie. Period.

In sl itself you'll come across women you have it on their profiles, no sex of any kind. Yet, will be some of the more freakiest ones around doing it all including cam. This is why I don't belive anyone who says they're not interested in sex in sl. It's all talk for show.

I'll give you full marks for optimism.
Being optimistic is good.
Just believe them if they actually say 'No' to your face. From that point onwards, your optimism would unquestionably become sleazy harassment.

Get a real life...