Can you realy trust your SL lover?

LOL. All men in SL are safe from me now. However ... teh loolz are out there to be had still. Had some guy last night in flip flops and frilly knickers trying to score with my super-chic friend Vera ... poor guy ... poor, poor guy ...

Newbie flip flops of course. Newbie everything but frillies.

Cherry - please don't take any notice of this.

Trout - I don't believe you could be scared witless.

Sorry to hear this hon. Hold your head up high, and don't let it drag you too far down or too deeply. We've all been there, some more recently than others that's all.

Stay friends with him if you can - if you can't well that's too bad but it's his loss

Marin is on board for a raucous night out - if we have Marin then that means Annastasia is on board too ... so who else?

There are worst things she could do.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfWV2WbcXZY

Don't ya Deira?

I do ... I believe this is not that unlikely at all ...

No - with a grandmother of the calibre that Trout had, being scared witless should not be part of his genetic makeup.

However....putting things to the test is the only way to find out for sure - *evil grin*.

there's a difference between being scared witless and just being witless in general. I'm reasonably stupid, but not witless. Cherry scares me a little as a general rule, but when she's armed with several scorned women who all have reason to have a high level of contempt and hatred towards my gender, she's a little like that crazy Iranian guy with his finger on the big red button. Sort of reckess and possibly nuclearly capable.

Not that she's some sort of terrorist or nutcase or anything, just that she's potentially dangerous and deserves the utmost in respect and maybe should be directed to some location where idiotic guys with giant wooden prims run around demanding sexxies now and generally acting like tools. Those guys have it coming. Guys like me are INNOCENT (this time at least). I don't want to get caught in the crossfire.

I'd just like to mention, that even when you think you know a person online, even after being together for several months, they can turn out to be something you would never have imagined.

I met my ex-partner last February. I wasn't really looking for a steady relationship at the time, but we clicked. One red flag should have been him telling me that he loved me by the second day of our aquaintance, but I let it slide. After a couple weeks, "he" brought up the subject of partnering, so I went along with it... I was starting to trust him, we were compatible and feelings were growing. It went along fine for several months, even though a six hour difference in time zones hindered the time we had to spend together. He bought me things often, which I kept telling him wasn't necessary. But in turn, I also bought or built quite a few things for his two homes (I always kept my own place on the same sim even though I was spending most of my time at his place). I terraformed and landscaped his grounds. I taught him how to edit things. So as you can see things were fairly equal.

I actually believed that I could trust him and that he had feelings for me. Once, early in the relationship, he had to go out of town for business and couldn't run SL, but he emailed me 3 times a day the whole time he was gone. If for some reason we weren't able to meet on my lunch break, he would often break his own self-disipline rule of not going online before work and hop on just to say hi briefly or stay up later than he normally would to catch me after work. We had spoken on skype numerous times, had some vague talks about meeting in RL at some point.

Then summer came and I was seeing less of him, but he had forewarned me that his work hours were longer in the summer back when we first met, so I didn't think anything of it. One evening a neighbor (female) came to me and suggested that he was cheating on me with another neighbor. I knew he had spoken with this other girl and even danced with her a few times when I wasn't there... no biggie. So, I didn't believe it and dismissed it in my mind as a misunderstanding or an attempt to create drama. I did mention the neighborly talk to him in a reasonable manner and he denied that anything was going on.

So, you know, if you've had any life experience at all, you can kind of tell when things are starting to cool off. The past two months of our relationship, I was starting to get the feeling that this was happening. Then one Sunday morning I got an IM from a stranger asking me if I was in an "open reationship". Thinking that it was maybe some guy trying to come onto me, I relied, "no, we are not". To which he replied, "we or you?". Then he proceeded to tell me that he had seen my BF at an open sex area spending a significant amount of time with a woman there. Still, I didn't believe that he would do that, so I dismissed the possibilty again. A few hours later I come back to another IM... from a friend of the first guy. Included were a couple of snapshots of my BF, in action, at this sex place.

So, even though my BF appeared to be offline, I IMed him. Guess what? I didn't get the SL message that the user is offline... yet he didn't respond. Hiding his status from me. As soon as I did that, Stranger #2 IMs me asking if I had just IMed my BF because he just TPed out of there. Then he offered to let me know if he returned. Ten minutes later he did, so I had this stranger TP me. I walked over without a word and stood in front of him. When he saw me, he logged like a coward and has not said ONE word to me since, wouldn't even answer the email that I sent him. Relationships come and go, I can accept that. It's his reaction that has made me more angry than any other part of this story. He has shown no regret or regard for my feelings whatsoever after an 8 month relationship. This is something I would never, ever have expected of him.

Even after all this, I was more than generous. After taking away his abilty to edit my objects, I went though his properties setting everything I didn't really want for myself to group so he would still have control over them. After a week, when his rent was due, he decided to drop his land and move on. But do you think he could IM, even when I was offline, to tell me that I could come collect my things in an organised manner... no, he did an auto return so I had to sort through everything lumped together.

Now he has moved on to a new "love". I was both steamed and amused at his audacity and lack of imagination with something in his profile. When I decorated his first home, I had placed a picture frame I bought with his favorite picture of us. The bottom of the frame had a little text blurb... "I don't just love you for who you are, but also for who I am when I'm with you". He went on and on about how much he loved that frame and sentiment. I've noticed that he now has that phrase in his profile picks with her picture and vice versa. lowwwwww

Sorry I got so long winded, but it just goes to show, that you don't always "know" someone even when you think you do. :/

I've begun to hate the conversation that starts out, "I feel like I need to be truthful with you......"

Wow! First, I liked that it was long-winded. Second? That "frame story" OMG! What as ass-wipe. Thanks for that Dementia. Well worth reading, and learning from.

"... it's me, your mom"

Does this not make you wonder why strangers bother to IM you about some guy they see with someone on some sim, doing what people generally do in such sims???

Was that the self appointed morality-police playing detective? Maybe yet a third scorned lady looking for revenge...? What drama we weave...

Ex GF drama is the worst, I recently was stalked by a guys ex to the point where she was reading my blog, questioning my friends, sneaking around on my property, and looking for reason to file AR charges. I was so relieved when he went back to her.

Now, THIS almost made spit water all over my laptop.. people in my meeting are looking at me as if i\I have gone slightly nutty.

Thanks 2K!

.d

Thanks for sharing that story Dementia.
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.. probably handled it much better than I would've.

Im always uncomfortable when a stranger offers information on a friend or BF, but I'd rather get the
"heads up" .

Dementia, I think that is really, really sad.

I often wonder whether some people consider Sl "just a game" and SL-relationships as "just a game". The newbie tip of treating every Avi like there is a real person behind it with feelings applies so much more when you get in relationships like that.

If you want an open relationship, then make sure that everyone knows that, and agrees to it going in. That can be a HUGE drama-reduction tactic. The fact that he declared his love for you so quickly makes me wonder if she was "just playing". Nothing wrong with playing, as long as everyone knows the rules of the game.....

I never keep anything sharp or poisonous near the computer just in case something like this happens. I might need a cooling off period, like when you buy a handgun.

Reading some of these stories in this post make me really glad that my RL husband is my SL partner. I feel bad for some of you who have been through bad situations in relationships. Believe me, I know how "real" a virtual relationship can be....after all, I met my husband in a yahoo chat room almost 8 years ago. It wasn't until we met in person that I really felt love for him, but there was a definite, strong connection before that, believe me. My heart would beat faster, I could almost feel my face light up when he would log on and send me that first IM everyday. I would think that SL would make those feelings much more intense because you at least have some kind of visual to go along with text.

It just good to know that when we log off of SL for the night, we can be together in RL without drama....and we're really not people with a lot of drama in our real lives, which is nice.

Good luck to everyone and I hope that someday you can find that kind of relationship....easy-going and drama free. It really is all it's cracked up to be when you find that.

.. just ..

wow.

Yes, I was curious about that, but it was a male av, and I didn't believe him at first... he said he had been wronged by a woman in the past and has since gotten into the habit of checking profiles. I also considered that my ex might have asked or hired them to tip me off, though I asked and the second one denied it... I also considered that possibly the first one got miffed because he had to wait in line for the woman that my ex was with. Regardless of his reasoning, he was telling the truth. Thats why I went there, so that there would be no doubt in my mind, nor any way that the ex could explain his way out of it.

Kalderi... there was no misunderstanding of what level the relationship was on... he said any number of times that I was the only one and I had always said that I don't share in a committed relatonship and expressed my feelings on cheaters and liars.

I think with a story that bad .. the naming names policy should be ignored .. and this thread be made a sticky ..


So that no one from the forums will ever sleep with Dementia's Ex by mistake.

Oh then I am even more sorry that you had to go through that garbage. I have real issues with people that don't live up to their commitments.

I think I may have used the wrong words - I didn't mean that there was something that was there that you didn't understand. I just mean that I have come across some people who feel that since SL is "just a computer game" they feel they can say whatever they want without any consequences or harm being done. They have this idea that they can just go ahead and do whatever they want, make whatever promises they feel like, and then ignore them when it suits them because it's "just a game".

I have at least one person who disappeared from my friends list for using exactly that logic on me when I challenged them. It was nowhere near as bad as what you are talking about, though.

Enough about me, lol... back to the OP... before you come down on her too hard for falling for all three guys, one would have to ask if there were others that she fell for along the way... if not, then it could be that she was just really drawn to this one guy regardless of which av he was wearing. If there were things he said or did with one that attracted her in the first place and some of it showed through with the other avs, its not surprising.

And yeah, i can see why she would have felt more at ease about dating the "stranger" than the "best friend"... it seems more of a betrayal to be intimate with the friend of your lover.

Also i think its really cheezy if he was testing her fidelity with an alt or playing head games.

Wow, Dementia. Just... wow. What a cowardly ass. I know how you feel... it's not so much the breaking of the relationship but how you do it. And he did it badly. That's about the lowest of the low I've seen with SL breakups. Jeez. PM me that name!