Can you realy trust your SL lover?

They do? Hmmmm I am way behind schedule then.

LOL well you know what I mean. Nowadays you probably have entire stretches of time (like half an hour!) where you aren't plotting to get into the pants of the girl next door.

It's one of the things that makes the differences between us fun. Men rock!

It's a rough job, but somebody has to do it.

At 23 I'd dated twice your number with the same results. Well, not quite the sweeping 'all women are liars', more a self-pitiable 'I'm never going to meet the right one' ... so ... I stopped looking.

I stopped for .. ooh .. a long time. I got on with just getting on with my job, riding motorbikes, playing hard rock. Funny thing happened whilst chilling with the bikers. I found I really got on with the girls! Swarms of 'em. They were great! I loved their company. Not dating, not chasing, just socialising.

A few years passed and one day I bought a computer game. It had a support forum which I visited and got in with the regulars and socialised with them too. Discovering so many of them were quite nearby we decided to meet for real. We became good friends. One of them became very close and I am proud to call her my fiancee.

I wasn't looking. Neither was she. This was 9 years ago. We're still a happy couple. We have a little cottage in Yamma Yamma in SL but still live 80 miles apart. Live every day as if it's your last.

Look, i'm not being mean, I was just a little too defensive on the post about men sucking.. I am only fueled by recent issues and by the fact that while things are sucking for me, I know they aren't going to get better.

A very close friend of mine (male) was so extremely quiet and shy that he had a hard time in any social situation, let alone with girls. I met him when we were 26 and he'd had 2 almost relationships with girls and was very disappointed in the human race in general. It's taken him a long time (he's 37 now) but he's gotten to the point where casual conversation is no longer a chore, and he's getting his sea legs under him regarding women. It takes TIME and more importantly, effort, to develop social skills and understanding. Nothing happens miraculously. If you take the attitude that things won't get better, then they won't. It's your call, man.

What he said ^

Look - people are people. Some of them suck, but the vast majority don't. It doesn't matter whether they are male or female - it's just life. Just be yourself and don't try to hard to impress anyone. You don't want a woman who is shallow or doesn't like you for who you are, any more than a a truly wonderful woman wants that from a man. If you just stop trying, someone will appear eventually, and she will know and love you for who you are, because that's all you're presenting to her. The best relationship of my life started with me just hanging out with someone and doing nothing other than being me. I wasn't looking for anyone and had no intention of being in a relationship. She blew me away when she told me she thought I was an incredible person. It was like, "Who, me? I'm not incredible, I'm just normal old me!" It turns out, "Me" was who she loved! Of course, she turned out to be an evil liar....Just kidding. She still blows me away every time I think about her - because she was just being "her" and that's who I fell for.

In the meantime, motorcycles and rock and roll sound like a pretty good life. I want to be a young Bilbo!

Don't forget the ever-popular "It's not you -- it's ME!"

Something to keep in mind about SL: it's our fantasy land. We get to come here to be whatever we can make of ourselves, and live out any fantasies we might want to engage.

For most men, it's a big fantasy to have lots of adoring lovers and to make new conquests.

For most women, it's a big fantasy to have an incredible romantic beginning, followed by an intensely personal, committed, and exclusive relationship, until death do us part. With the romance continuing unabated, of course.

Anyone notice a conflict here?

Of course, by "most" I don't mean "nearly all" -- lots of people don't share these stereotypical fantasies. In addition, many of us have contradictory fantasies, like "both of the above".

It should come as no surprise that in SL, heartbreak is more common than sneezing.

For shizzle that would not be me, cause all I do is lie and cause trouble. But hey, thats my RP.

I don't want to say I feel bad for Cen, I can understand how he feels, though. How many times do we hear from girls/women/females, "Men Suck", "I hate men", Men are dogs", etc...

You are my favoirte peach in all of SL!

FWIW, and I hate to say this, but the fact that you're a Naked Guy might sort of scare the girls away...

We had a Naked Guy on our campus and it made a lot of girls very uncomfortable to be around him, let alone talk to him or have a normal conversation with him. I understand that it's your lifestyle choice, and more power to you, but it can be a pretty awkward one...

well thats part of the problem, of course. While I try to be proud of myself, i'm not a very normal person in the eyes of many. I have bad looks, bad personality.

She didn't say you have bad looks or a bad personality. I don't know about your looks because I don't know what you look like, but your personality seems fine to me. She said that a choice of behavior you have made is one that might creep some girls out. You need to find one who accepts what you do and doesn't have a problem with it.

BTW - trust me. If you were ugly and had a bad personality, she'd tell you. She tells me that all the time.

Cen, Cen, Cen, .... you're going about this all wrong.

http://www.sosuave.com/

Trust me.

Women? Fuck 'em. Fix your attitude, develop your self-comfidence and the women will come to you. The next step is finding the ones that are worth keeping. That's also where that web site comes in. There are reasons things like the "don't call for 3 days" rules exist. It's to protect you from the users and liars.

It takes work and it won't happen over night, but by the end of the year you will be set. I promise.

I read that and had to chuckle. I suppose you have to start somewhere. But if some guy leaves something at my place, if it has value, I am keeping it, if it is junk, I am tossing it.
But, I will be nice about it.

Hmmm guess it depends all on how you feel,
I come into 2nd life with someone we had been together in a diffrent site for a bit,we come into 2nd life and within 2 mos I find out she is fracking around with others,go figure that one.

Me honestly I give up on trusting woman on line,not worht the hurt involved when u get fracked over.

Reb

Just a quick add on here before i get outta of the intentst cafe im on for a while!

I find my best friends and lovers, are the ones who have contributed or given ,donated money or gifts, these are the people i trust not too double cross me.

SL love is very fast, very unpredictable, and can cause a lot of grief/saddness.

I myself, now would not get into a relaitionship, in SL until i had known the other person a long time. When i got into land dealings and bussiness, I found many of my friends, just wasnt bothered wether i was here or not, because I was busy.

But on the other hand, associates and close friends that have joined me/enjoyed the new part of me in SL, I could trust....but we are all human, with sudden desires-ambitions, new RL challenges, and even gender changing in RL, all this adds up to a complicated SL relationship sometimes, and I know it must have been awful for you, but me and a friend were guilty of trying to be girls in the old chat rooms yahoo used to do, we found out months later we were both guys, and we both felt really hurt!! I have learnt a lot by that experiance, and hope you will too!! x

regards

Michaelatv

Well I must be the exception rather than the rule.

I've been with my SL partner for just over a year (and married for 10 months)

She is my rock, my world, my everything, and I would trust her with my life. And I'm not talking my SL, I mean my RL.

We live half a world apart, but I know her.

You are very lucky to have found someone you can trust like that,my hats off to bolth of you

Reb

So, you both pretended and when you found the truth you both were hurt? When I was going through that phase, I made it clear to all, that my character was not to be taken for real in any way. (She) made a good friend who to this day I still think may have been the same situation. No matter, we had good times and happy memories. We merely drifted, not break. Thanks for sharing Michaelatv.

Congrats Bee .. not *the* exception though .. a rarity mebbe but there are some of us out there

Rebel, I know that with anger, one can easily make sweeping comments but take it from me, guys cheat too. As said earlier, don't alienate yourself from over 50% of the population over the behaviour of one. When you beat yourself up, nobody wins.

It's not me -- it's you.

The answer to this Thread BTW is NO.

If the OP had changed "SL" to "RL" in the title the answer would be an even stronger NO.

4 months later Necroposting non-withstanding.

/me laughs.

It's not you, it's Gregg, the body builder you've been banging on tuesdays when you were at your 'girls night'