Do you ever 'share' your Real Life image?

"And let's be honest here...usually the ones that get 'stalked' are asking for it. They tempt fate by creating a perfect atmosphere for stalkers to take advantage of. I know that's a harsh thing to say, but it's true"

Michael, I was alluding to this, and since I'm using two different windows, I copied and pasted from one of your posts. I didn't have to re-read it. It was said...check your previous posts. It's post #53 on this thread to be exact.

"Also, I don't just mean what I'VE seen and heard...I didn't word it that way. I was eluding to what OTHER people have told me, what the news tells me, what tabloids tell me...all things considered darling...so I"m not sure what you're on about"

And this, on post #102.

"I'm a pig? I'm a pig for openly stating that some people ask for trouble? OK, fine, call me what you like, but it doesn't change the fact that it's completely, and utterly true. Next"

Also this, on post #102.

Please tell me again I was alluding to things that weren't said.

I did say that sometimes people do place themselves in troublesome circumstances, however, you said that usually the ones being stalked are asking for it. It's right there in your words. I asked how did I ask to be stalked. Granted, it wasn't from an internet relationship, but it's true that using the internet and posting a ton of personal information on the internet increases your chances. Main reasons I don't use myspace, facebook, or other social networking sites. And won't allow my children to as long as they're still under my roof and my parental control.

I think this is getting a little out of hand.
Post pics of yourself if you wish, and not if you don't. That way, you will only attract like-minded individuals when it comes to this issue.

As for the rape examples, most victims were not wearing mini skirts at the time, and their boobs were not 'hanging' out. This stereotype does not belong in a conversation about rape. Yes there are many men and women who seek Attention, and they can be quite annoying but let's not mix these two subjects, (rape/attention hogs). In fact, let's get back to opinions about pictures themselves.

I find all your reasons for and against quite interesting, and a fun read.

Because I fail to understand why anyone I talk to on SL would care less what I look like. The only reason I can perceive of is that they would be interested in a more intimate relationship than I am here to provide. If someone is my friend, why does it matter to them or me what we look like in RL? I have no intention of ever carrying SL into RL other than in ways it relates to my husband and myself. Therefore, RL looks don't matter a fig to me. YMMV.

Besides, what does whether or not you look at people in RL have to do with whether or not you show RL pics in SL? Do you befriend them based on their appearance? I don't. Not in RL, and I wouldn't in SL.....another reason why I don't see the need to exchange RL pics with someone. I never said it was wrong to exchange RL photos...the question in the original post was "do you ever share your RL image"? My answer was "no" and I gave my reasons why it's "no".

And don't forget Unitarian! The pitying look is sooo funny...

Michael, I know you don't mean to be offensive, but the stereotypes about rape and women dressing in ways that ask for it is extremely offensive. Women are raped while sleeping in their beds at home, while coming home from work, while on dates.... Rape is not about sexual attraction. It's a violent expression of hatred and power over another, and could not be further removed from sexual expression.

I'm fully prepared to stalk you. Let me get my stalking shoes on and I'll be on my way.

On a serious note, stalking is one of those 0%/100% problems. Just like everything in life, you have to weigh the risks against the possible reward. Is it worth taking the risk that you might have trouble from someone which could range from the merely annoying (much more likely) to the fatal (less likely)?

The problem is this: when applied to a single person, statistics are worthless. If it happens 10% of the time or 50% of 32.874%, who cares? It either happens to you or it doesn't. Look at it from the perspective of another often quoted statistic, air travel. Air travel is statistically far safer than travel by auto. Airline crashes are very rare. If you are on an airplane that is plunging to the earth, that statistic doesn't do you much good, does it? By the same token, if some creep is out in the bushes with a knife in one hand and his junk in the other, you aren't going to say, "hmmm. well, it's no big deal because this sort of thing is rare." Statistics are helpful to analysts trying to either track the efficiency of something or trying to find patterns that can be altered, but for individuals, they are generally worthless.

As for me, I don't have a problem sharing a photo with someone if they ask, but I wouldn't offer one unless they asked. I also don't mind receiveing them. It's interesting to see the person behind the avatar, and it doesn't detract from anything for me. I tend to think of my friends as friends regardless of whether we know each other in SL or in person.

I agree....its usually not some stranger that does the stalking but some relative who needs something.

Like a padded cell.

Good, 'cuz in-world I'm 5 an a half.

Seriously, though - I have had some who have questioned me on that inworld, or assumed that child avatar = real child. The "best" was the guy who was gonna use his oversized weapon to 'blow me to the teen grid where I belong." That was so many levels of wrong dat I dun know where to begin.

Mari

That is not a cat, that is an orange puddle on a couch.

As to the original question, no.

victims do not ASK FOR IT

they don't.

You are a throwback.

please-

You have never seen me difficult.

Besides that was a true statement you quoted.

How would someone you got to know over the internet still qualify as a total stranger?

If I find someone I want to share my RL with, I have an excellent way of doing that already built outside of SL - my musician's Myspace page. So far, when I've made new friends, it's been very natural to give the link because the topic naturally goes to music as we discuss our lives.

Since I'm opening myself up for inspection, I generally ask for at least a picture back. Some give it, some don't but I'm not put off in the least if a person, particularly a woman, is wary of giving out that much info. At the same time though, if someone doesn't want to show their RL selves, it naturally goes into the back of my mind that there's at least the possibility they're hiding something and my conversations generally lead to more probing questions over time if for no other reason than just curiosity.

How does you accusing me of being a know-it-all refute the statement I made which you quoted?

Least when I insult you I include the reasons your wrong in addition.




Pig.

"usually"

That word is a very strong word when it comes to delicate arguments. I never said that the people being stalked are **usually** the ones asking for it. That is completely skewing my argument. Wouldn't you agree? It's odd how one word can defeat my meaning. And it's also odd how people can unconsciously add or change a word, which naturally changes the meaning all together.

What I said is that **sometimes** people are asking for trouble. That is way different.

EDIT: OK, I said "usually" ONCE...but my entire argument does not imply that is what I believe. I shouldn't have used that word...I'm a fool for it.

But if you reread everything I've said on this subject, that is far from my viewpoint and belief. I've kept my initial post up...I'm not ashamed I was wrong. But still...it still goes to show that people can pick out one phrase or word, and completely skew an entire argument. Sorry.

You aren't an ass for being honest.

You were a pig for the "asking for it" comment. You further reinforced your status by responding and alluding that those dressed a certain way were asking for it to.

Okay so its your honest opinion. Then you are an honest pig.

Tell the next woman you meet who is dressed productively she is asking to be raped. Prepared to get yelled at. She might give up and just slap you.

"Sugar-coating" and "common decency" aren't the same thing - Quit pretending like they are.

I blame 503s.

I don't think the word 'rape' belongs in this entire thread. It's about stalking. If I can't bring up some of the reasons women might get stalked, then you can't bring up rape...wait a minute...this conversation isn't about rape...it's about stalking. Who brought up rape?

More to the point, it's about the likely hood of someone being stalked because of a RL picture in their profile. That's where the discussion began.

Plus a little sugar coating once in a while isn't a bad thing. it creates good Karma.

I guess you didn't get my reasoning--which is, people don't look at other people just because they want to get intimate with them. Which is what you are saying. People look at other people because that's a huge part of life. A face says a thousand words. The eyes are the windows to the soul...a face isn't just to gather whether I want to screw you. I mean come on...it's odd that you even think of a 'face' that way.

YOU used the "Asking for it" parallel!!!!!

YOU brought it up.

Cunumdrum just stated it clearly and you basically said the "asking for it" idea still applies.


Where the hell have you been the last 25 years?!!!!

And I know you guys don't mean to be obtuse...but you are anyway. I never said that's the only reason women get raped. Did I? Of course I didn't.

I gave one example. As a cross-reference....next thing you know, the entire forum is saying I said, 'women get raped because of how they dress.'

It's hard to discuss with some of you...you skew more often than Prof. Rhombus.

I think i see what you are trying to say, Michael, but frankly -- "asking for it" is the excuse of the cowards who do these sorts of acts. People do dumb things, and maybe some do dress inappropriately or do other things that might make them more likely to be victimized (foolhardiness is also not gender-specific, mind you!). Nevertheless, no matter how much one might supposedly 'ask for it,' it is their attackers/stalkers/rapists/murders/molesters/thieves who actually do the deed. Let's keep the real blame where it belongs.

Mari

I never said 'victims ASK FOR IT.' Why don't you try reading...I used it ask ONE example...some victims 'ask for trouble.' I was crystal clear on that...and even clarified that later in several posts. You are skewing what I say.

Open your eyes. You're the throwback...blind Hardhead.

Trout, you're very clever, but personalizing statistical probability doesn't discount the likely hood of something happening. We aren't talking about how stalking 'affects those that are stalked'...we are talking about the likely hood of it happening. You are avoiding the issue with your clever double-speak.