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Do you ever 'share' your Real Life image? |
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Cunundrum Alcott
A Sardonic Pessimist
Join date: 15 Jan 2007
Posts: 773
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02-05-2008 09:16
ASKING FOR IT? You can be such a pig. NO ONE IS ASKING to be stalked. They might take excessive risks and be stupid what information they give out. But they aren't asking to be stalked. Always infuriates me when men feel that women are asking to me treated a certain way. I've actually had someone tell me I was asking to be raped by what I was wearing. _____________________
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Orfeu Miles
Registered User
Join date: 18 May 2007
Posts: 106
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02-05-2008 09:16
I have what I like to think of as a 'posh' Liverpool accent! Awright eh Lah. Worra ye sayin...........doesnt babbler do scouse.??? Though still a bit of a nOOb at this new-fangled voice malarkey, one thing I have noticed, is that in any given conversation, the transition from text to voice can be a little jarring. One can establish a text based rapport, where barriers are falling, connections are getting closer.............switch to voice...........and it is back to 1st base..........building a different rapport. Or is that just me. ?? *shrugs* For International readers, Scouse is the name of Irish Stew as made in Liverpool. Scouser = Denizen of Liverpool. For the record, I have a rather common Scouse accent..........rather like a Docker, who spends all his time in a Library.  |
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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02-05-2008 09:17
I think what Michael is getting at is that stalkers in RL are far more dangerous than the SL variety. Yet we don't see women in RL walking around with a bag on their head. People you know are more dangerous than strangers. There actually are statistics for that. Getting to know someone online - puts them into the "people you know" column. |
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Cherry Czervik
Came To Her Senses
Join date: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 3,680
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02-05-2008 09:18
Let's see, which picture should I hand out? The one where my left eye seems bigger than my right? The one where my mouth is partially open (can't even shut up when someone is trying to take my pic), or the one where, because of my positioning, I seem to only have one arm? I don't have any recent ones but, I suppose if I had a friend wanted/needed to see a picture of me, I would comply. Just, please, don't give me one of you without me requesting one. If dating in SL is important to your experience here, than I guess pictures would be vital information for some. I'm not here to date so I don't feel the need to see how you look. I kind of like the fact that I will take the time to know you first, without 'seeing' you. I see people all day in my milieu, where fashion is important. Wearing no lipstick is not an option here, it's a somewhat superficial place, but being in SL is like putting on my favourite hoodie, or wrapping myself up in a big duvet. I can finally relax, not worry about my mascara or keeping up with the latest trends. It seems that some think the only reason someone would not show a picture would be because they are not good looking or that they have something to hide. It's not that important to me, is all. If you _insist_, I will give you my photo but somehow, I will not see YOU in the same way. The last picture I sent out was taken when I was in a restaurant having a fun time out. And it was a fun night. My lipstick is smudged and I am clearly merry. LOL. I don't like using my picture because I am really unphotogenic. I'm the person who always has their eyes closed, or if not closed then bright red eyes, or something - on one occasion I even managed to get a picture taken of me where my head was bent sideways like a kidney bean because I moved! That's not so much the case why I don't go round handing out (or grabbing) photos tho. Michael has me to a point where SL and RL (or any other online media really) are seamless. However, once it gets to swapping piccies then there's intention on my side and that's when it's gone outside SL. For me, anyway. It's a big deal if I will accept a photo. And I have to agree with this last point up there. Not just pictures - if anyone insisted that I had to do ANYTHING then they'll find out how silent life gets from the point of view of me personally responding. I'm open to enticement, and to reasoning, but a "you HAVE to do this" rather than "I'd really appreciate it if you did" is oblivion. Except for someone very very special, if they are that special then I'm going to want to share and be close in any way they want. Good job I am picky. _____________________
To exchange power is sublime. To steal from another ... well, what goes around comes around.
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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02-05-2008 09:21
Always infuriates me when men feel that women are asking to me treated a certain way. I've actually had someone tell me I was asking to be raped by what I was wearing. I couldn't believe I read it either. |
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Brenda Connolly
Un United Avatar
Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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02-05-2008 09:22
I think what Michael is getting at is that stalkers in RL are far more dangerous than the SL variety. Yet we don't see women in RL walking around with a bag on their head. True. You can't control who you see in RL. But in SL since there will RL contact to be made for many there is no need. There's nothing wrong with disclosing all you want if that's what you want to do. But personally, I don't care who are what you are in RL. we aren't going there. _____________________
Don't you ever try to look behind my eyes. You don't want to know what they have seen.
http://brenda-connolly.blogspot.com |
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2k Suisei
Registered User
Join date: 9 Nov 2006
Posts: 2,150
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02-05-2008 09:22
People you know are more dangerous than strangers. There actually are statistics for that. Getting to know someone online - puts them into the "people you know" column. But anybody can follow you home in RL. Very few people are stupid enough to give their address to a random stranger in SL. It's statistically unlikely that somebody is going to know you from your RL photo. And if they did, then they could follow you home anyway. * shrugs * |
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Graphicguru Gustav
Accepts head scritchings!
Join date: 5 Oct 2007
Posts: 775
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02-05-2008 09:22
I wonder if all RL photos are genuine, Mine is...and it's in my in world profile...I have nothing to hide. Nor do I feel it is compromising my personal security...unless some unscrupulous person takes it and cuts and pastes my face on some porno...and I would only think that was funny. My identification number (SSN) and credit card number ECT is a different story! _____________________
I am officialy lurking the forums, trying real hard to not be noticed...
Junk & stuff I do... http://tinyurl.com/3549gg |
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Cunundrum Alcott
A Sardonic Pessimist
Join date: 15 Jan 2007
Posts: 773
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02-05-2008 09:23
Like my dad always told me.....'make sure they are inside the house before you shoot them'
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Hiro Queso
503less
Join date: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 2,753
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02-05-2008 09:27
Like my dad always told me.....'make sure they are inside the house before you shoot them' Wow. |
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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02-05-2008 09:28
But anybody can follow you home in RL. Very few people are stupid enough to give their address to a random stranger in SL. It's statistically unlikely that somebody is going to know you from your RL photo. And if they did, then they could follow you home anyway. * shrugs * Like I said in that earlier post. People limit what they tell others online. For many this is part of feeling safe. A picture can be part of that. Many will *NEVER* give out a RL photo- thats their choice. For example Brenda and Chris have seen my RL photos - but I sure as heck wouldn't post them on the forums. I only show them to people I like, trust and respect. |
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Brenda Connolly
Un United Avatar
Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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02-05-2008 09:29
Like my dad always told me.....'make sure they are inside the house before you shoot them' That's why when my Dad died, the first thing of his I asked for was his shotgun.  _____________________
Don't you ever try to look behind my eyes. You don't want to know what they have seen.
http://brenda-connolly.blogspot.com |
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Hiro Queso
503less
Join date: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 2,753
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02-05-2008 09:30
That's why when my Dad died, the first thing of his I asked for was his shotgun. Wow again. It's amazing how culturally different we all are! |
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Cunundrum Alcott
A Sardonic Pessimist
Join date: 15 Jan 2007
Posts: 773
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02-05-2008 09:30
That's why when my Dad died, the first thing of his I asked for was his shotgun. My dad was soooo old fashioned, he kept a loaded one by the door. OMG time sure have changed, we NEVER would even allot the thought to enter our mind to touch it _____________________
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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02-05-2008 09:32
Wow again. It's amazing how culturally different we all are! lol they are joking Hiro. very few people are invited into a house and shot by the home owners in the US. And its still murder unless its self defense. -------- I do know someone who shot a burglar in a pharmacy though. (robber lived) Was his 4th time being robbed. |
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Wildefire Walcott
Heartbreaking
Join date: 8 Nov 2005
Posts: 2,156
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02-05-2008 09:36
I have posted different pictures on a couple third-party forums I visit and have a few in my inventory I share with friends. I don't put it in my profile or in any obvious locations on my web site because I prefer people get to know me before they see me. (I don't look or dress anything like my avatar, and people are often disappointed when they see I'm not in latex or holding a whip.)
I'm put off by people who ask for RL pics, or cam, or voice chat within 10 seconds of saying hello. I'm not opposed to voice or sharing pics, but goddam, be patient. And if I was looking to cam with people I'd be on Yahoo or MSN, not SL. _____________________
Desperation Isle Estates: Great prices, great neighbors, great service!
http://desperationisle.blogspot.com/ New Desperation Isle: The prettiest BDSM Playground and Fetish Mall in SL! http://desperationisle.com/ Desperation Isle Productions: Skyboxes for lots (and budgets) of all sizes! |
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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02-05-2008 09:40
It's statistically unlikely that somebody is going to know you from your RL photo. I actually know several people who have bumped into people they know from RL in SL. One Escort found out one of her customers was her RL coworker. OOPPS. |
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Hiro Queso
503less
Join date: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 2,753
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02-05-2008 09:40
lol they are joking Hiro. very few people are invited into a house and shot by the home owners in the US. And its still murder unless its self defense. -------- I do know someone who shot a burglar in a pharmacy though. (robber lived) Was his 4th time being robbed. Oh that went right over my head then lol. On a serious note: I suppose it is hard to be judgmental on the use of firearms for protection when those you are protecting yourselves from could very well be armed, and there lies the root of the problem really. Anyway, I'm digressing! |
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Isabeau Imako
P'tite Poulette
Join date: 13 Sep 2007
Posts: 2,335
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02-05-2008 09:42
Random strangers on the street will see my face and maybe share a few words with me. In SL, strangers will get to know far more about me. It's far more easy to get into deep conversations with total strangers here. We feel 'safer' because it IS a somewhat anonymous place, we say and do things in SL that we may not do as quickly in RL. Even here, on the forums, we will open up and share our feelings with perfect strangers. This is sometimes the only excuse a potential stalker needs to go forward with his stalking. They start thinking that you are perfect for each other - if only I could show him/her the real person I am, he/she will come to feel the same way, etc. They make up a whole story (image?) about you.
Of course this could happen also in RL, but you are also more able to control who 'hears' what you have to say. |
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Brenda Connolly
Un United Avatar
Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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02-05-2008 09:49
Wow again. It's amazing how culturally different we all are! I just call it using whatever resources are available to protect myself and my home. We are all products of our environments I guess. _____________________
Don't you ever try to look behind my eyes. You don't want to know what they have seen.
http://brenda-connolly.blogspot.com |
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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02-05-2008 09:51
Random strangers on the street will see my face and maybe share a few words with me. In SL, strangers will get to know far more about me. It's far more easy to get into deep conversations with total strangers here. We feel 'safer' because it IS a somewhat anonymous place, we say and do things in SL that we may not do as quickly in RL. Even here, on the forums, we will open up and share our feelings with perfect strangers. This is sometimes the only excuse a potential stalker needs to go forward with his stalking. They start thinking that you are perfect for each other - if only I could show him/her the real person I am, he/she will come to feel the same way, etc. They make up a whole story (image?) about you. Of course this could happen also in RL, but you are also more able to control who 'hears' what you have to say. This is true - this is why I meant they go into the "people you know" category. I know a married woman who dated a married guy in SL .. he ended up being a stalker. At first they agreed no RL info at all. -Then they exchanged pictures -Then they started voicing -Then he asked for her phone number , she resisted, he hit her with the "don't you trust me?" -Then shared addresses, same deal "don't you trust me?" A lot of weird behavior followed. But the first step was that picture. ------------------------------- On the bag/head deal - We also don't wear a T shirt called a "profile" with a big list of likes and dislikes on it IRL |
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2k Suisei
Registered User
Join date: 9 Nov 2006
Posts: 2,150
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02-05-2008 09:51
I actually know several people who have bumped into people they know from RL in SL. One Escort found out one of her customers was her RL coworker. OOPPS. Don't make me start a poll! |
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Hiro Queso
503less
Join date: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 2,753
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02-05-2008 09:53
Don't make me start a poll! Don't make me start a 'should 2k start a poll' poll! |
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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02-05-2008 09:54
Don't make me start a poll! I met someone in SL who IRL shops at the same supermarket as me. She lives one town over, Pure coincidence. Your Poll might turn out differently than you expect. |
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Hiro Queso
503less
Join date: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 2,753
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02-05-2008 09:58
I actually know several people who have bumped into people they know from RL in SL. One Escort found out one of her customers was her RL coworker. OOPPS. That kind of thing is rare, but it happens. I bumped into an old school friend in the middle of Chicago, about 4000 miles from our school! Yet I've only bumped into school friends within my home town a couple of times over many years. |