Do you ever 'share' your Real Life image?

It's unfortunate how superficial the world is. I'm sorry you see all possibilities as negative...because I don't know you, I can only assume or hypothesize why you are so worried about how you look...the world can be cruel. But you shouldn't live your life around how other people perceive you...who gives a shit what someone else thinks of you...life isn't about their view of you...it's about your view of yourself and the world.

You shouldn't think so harshly about yourself. Life is about attitude...sorry about calling you out, but I couldn't help it. I saw the way you mentioned every picture choice you could post as being negative...and that's not healthy. We should love ourselves, should we not?

You know what - I'm kinda tired of how rare people say this stuff is.

How many posters know someone well who has been stalked in some form as a result of online activities?

I know two people I only know from Real Life who have.

And I know three who I was fairly close to at one time online who have.

I know *OF* a lot of cases.

At some point everyones Annecdotes add up.

The "official statistics" are a lot less accurate concerning something that rarely ever gets reported.

Even if the "official statistics" actually exist. I assume they must since people claim how rare it is.

I'm sorry Collete...no matter how you cut the pie, it's a rarity. Very rare. How many forum goers are online right at this very moment? How many of them have been legitimately stalked? Very few. I'd say less than 1%.

I've been surrounding myself in all things 'internet' for over a decade, and I've never personally met anyone that has been stalked due to online activities. The only times you hear it are on the news...

And let's be honest here...usually the ones that get 'stalked' are asking for it. They tempt fate by creating a perfect atmosphere for stalkers to take advantage of. I know that's a harsh thing to say, but it's true.

It is extremely rare to have a stalker single someone out, fly or drive to where that person lives, and officially stalk them simply because of an online picture they have up.

There is a difference between someone who feeds off of the attention of strangers online, and someone who is innocently posting pictures of themselves. Some people are asking for trouble...

Still, in both cases, it's extremely rare. There are millions and millions of internet users...how many of them have had a stalker fly out and haunt them? Very few.

Like I said, you're FAR more likely to be stalked by the bus boy then someone online. And how many of us are weary of the bus boy?

You are correct. Until you've had it happen, it may seem rare or trivial. All it takes is one instance for it to happen to you. And even that case can be trivial to an outsider, but it can be the most terrifying thing to the one it happens to. And it does happen more than reported statistics show. It's sad, but the society we live in can be dangerous at times, and people will take whatever actions they decide necessary to protect themselves. Even if they seem excessive to others.

I don't think a stalker would target a girl purely from a picture alone. But there probably is higher chance of being targeted by a stalker in SL because of how easy it is to approach people here. We all tend to feel safe in SL and this can sometimes lead us to be a little more open than what we are in 1st life.

If some random person were to approach us in RL then we'd probably be very cagey. Yet in SL we tend to be more accepting of strangers.

My advise would be not to flirt with anonymous people if you're displaying 1st life info in your profile, as this could cause a stalker to get a fixation on you. But obviously this can take some of the fun from SL.

It's a tricky one!!

Me too, not that I'm shy but I find that I am a little more BOLD when I'm hidding behide my keyboard. Also, I find that I don't make a quick responce either. I re-call something happened here a couple of night ago where some guy typed me a message and the first thing out of my mouth was "ewww, thats sick". Where as my reply was just a giggle.

This way my mouth doesn't get me in trouble, JulieAnne

Actually, I was just being comical, I really am 'bien dans ma peau'. But you are right about something, it wasn't that funny...

I think that if I had my picture in my RL tab and someone said "want sexies with me" it would just seem more, not intimate, I don't know the right English word, more real. At the moment, I can just laugh it off. It's just nice to come here and not feel like you are being 'looked over' by strangers, if you know what I mean.

Don't get me wrong, I am still vain enough to appreciate it when a man looks at me in that way in RL, lol. But at times, I just want to be appreciated for other things first.

BTW, thank you for the wine suggestion, I'm not that familiar with California wines, and screw tops are very much Okay, some would even argue better.

Thankfully I have never suffered 'stalking' bar a few creepy IMs that were soon fixed with the mute button. But I did mention personal safety in an earlier post.

My experience is that in SL, emotions can run white hot. People get bowled away by the sheer intensity and speed of it. Over a year ago I had a relationship with a guy (no-one who posts here incidentally) which all went well until he told me he had seriously considered tracking me down. I had, in passing, told him the name of the village I live in so it would have been feasible. He (a good friend now) told me how these feelings - he used the word obsession - had frightened him a lot.

For reasons I'm not going into here, it would have been disastrous to have him knocking on my door. It could never have worked in RL and I could never let it move across.

Luckily this was a good guy who recognised that his feelings were getting out of hand, told me about them and then backed off from the whole thing. But since then I have always been conscious about keeping firmly to certain boundaries.

I think that if you get into a relationship in Sl, you quicly realise that this is far removed from Facebook or MySpace.

As always, my own take.

EDIT: and no, I didn't show him an RL photo during the time we were 'together'.

Too true. Some people have layers of role-playing behind their role-playing.

One person in my group of friends had made up an entire fake "RL" persona, complete with life story and photos, and kept it up for months. We thought we knew "Jane" as a person, and so when the truth came out, there were strong feelings of shock/hurt/anger/betrayal in the group. Some friendships were broken beyond mending, others are being rebuilt slowly and carefully. It is hard to trust this person now, as we cannot be sure that the new persona "Joe" is real either.

And the kicker is, there was no need for this person to invent a false RL... could have just said, I don't want to discuss my RL, and that would have been fine.


Maybe that IS his face... you know that he will be a ____-head...

I've been stalked twice, and both times are/were by ex gf's that I met the old traditional way, and had nothing to do with net relationships. Letting people know info about your rl is really no different to giving the same information to someone you meet out face to face. Of course you have to be vigilant & sensible, both on the net and face to face, but you also don't want to let fear get in the way of nurturing relationships with genuine sane people.

You've all got me terrified that I'm going to get stalked now!!

(Sandy closes the curtains and hides under the sofa)

To be honest I think the only person who would look at my picture and want to come after me would probably be from Extreme Makeover. "Ok Sandy we're going to give you a full face augmentation." Jings!

To be fair I don't *hate* my Liverpool accent, its more that I hate the fact that I sound a bit like Ringo Starr on acid. I have what I like to think of as a 'posh' Liverpool accent!

One of the photos I received was from a girl who was working as a dancer in a club. She just randomly started talking to me and I have to be honest I was quite intimidated by this 7 foot tall, 20 year old, big boobed avatar in a thong chatting to me about general boring life stuff. Then after a while she sent her picture and she was a nice, smiley American lady, about 35-38 years old, just normal looking. It immediately changed how I chatted to her and I wasn't put off by the goddess look anymore - it was nice really.

She only wanted to know my credit card details and where I lived - how cute

I agree with what you said above. But statistically and realistically speaking, someone is much more likely to find trouble with a passer-by than with an internet stalker.

And I realize these things happen more often than the news or tabloids mention...but considering how many people live on this planet, it's extremely rare...and the majority of stalking being done has zero to do with the internet.

Coming from a family of Law Enforcement Professionals, I can only say to Michael your last post is utter Bullshit. Nothing but the stereotypical generalizations that get thrown out. People, Men and Women are stalked by a variety of people for a variety of reasons. Estimates range as high as 10 percent. Not all cases may be violent, some may be just a nuisance, but they can be a nightmare to the victim. Most don't do anything to cause it beyond maybe a kind word, or gesture that some twisted person takes the wrong way. And yes, I have been on the receiving end of such unwanted attention, and it is frightening at how easily some stranger can insert thmselves into your life. And how difficult it can be to undo the damage they have caused.

*taps the 44 Magnums strapped to her thighs* someone come stalk me......please

Hey, it doesn't make me a bad poyson.

Hi!

LOL

That has to be one of the creepiest images I have seen, and I'm not at all sure why, either!

Feel lucky?

It has just as much to do with the Internet as any other form of contact. Peole here love to point out how much of our lives is available online for any and all to see with little effortost stalkers are irrational deluded people. You can't expect them to have the same self control and perspective you might have. don't trivialize it because it hasn't happened to you. Don't judge someone else because their concerns seem irrational to you. You are better than that, Michael. You rightfully advocate celebrating life, and enjoying it to the fullest. don't let this be the time you thinklike a cold, unfeeling automoton.

It has just as much to do with the Internet as any other form of contact. Peole here love to point out how much of our lives is available online for any and all to see with little effortost stalkers are irrational deluded people. You can't expect them to have the same self control and perspective you might have. don't trivialize it because it hasn't happened to you. Don't judge someone else because their concerns seem irrational to you. You are better than that, Michael. You rightfully advocate celebrating life, and enjoying it to the fullest. don't let this be the time you thinklike a cold, unfeeling automoton.

*The bullshit remark was directed at your earlier post, not this one. This one is just non agreeable.

It's not utter bullshit--I've had law enforcement friends too...that doesn't change what I've been told, read, and witnessed my self.

People are much more likely to be stalked OFFLINE than online. My whole point is, if it happens to you, it's either tough luck, or previous choices you made...

A lot of times, people are being stalked and don't even know it--which leads me to believe this kind of thing is out of our control. You can't live scared...you can only be smart.

An online picture isn't going to increase your odds of being stalked...if you're so worried about being stalked, wear a mask and have a fake name.

I don't know what to tell you. Just because I'm being honest, and calling out the rarity of statistics, does NOT mean I don't have empathy for those that are frightened or injured by crazy people...I do care. I'm only telling you it's extremely rare, and sometimes there's nothing you can do about it...and most of the time it's offline, not online. I'm not trivializing anything...I'm telling you like it is...obviously someone on the forums has to...sheesh. Some of you are more paranoid than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Who knows, you'd have to ask them. The problem with percentages is they are proportionate. If only 50 people are logged in and 5 have been stalked in some way were all of a sudden at 10%.



NO the only times *YOU* hear it is on the news. I already just said *IVE* known people who its happened to. So have other posters.

Remember by stalked we don't mean just the murder/ kidnappings/ rapes and their attempts. Which is the stuff that makes the news.

Stalking includes a broad range of activities.



ASKING FOR IT? You can be such a pig. NO ONE IS ASKING to be stalked. They might take excessive risks and be stupid what information they give out. But they aren't asking to be stalked.



Well of course not. Who is claiming they were stalked *ONLY* because of a picture they put up. I only see people say thats part of the reason.

the reasoning goes something like this - they don't give out their phone number, they dont give out their RL name, they don't give out their RL address, they dont post their RL photo. After all they wouldn't want to be "asking for it", would they?




Oh right - they are "asking for it"

You are basically arguing against yourself without realizing it. You are saying people should be careful about what information they give out ---

Well to some people being careful includes posting their RL picture.



How do we know this? - just guessing I suppose. You are also assuming stalking only includes the classic follwoing you around ina car stuff.

Many people have their RL's damaged by stalkers who simply use a telephone.



Dumb example. Someone my family knew when I was growing up was stabbed to death by a bus boy.

I'll just say that we have different viiews based on our personal experiences and leave it with that. And I'll retract the bullshit statement based on that as well. Your view can be just as valid as mine based on your experiences. However much or little of their RL people
wish to disclose is their business, and their reasons are not my concern either.

I'm going back to counting 503's

What are you talking about?

You are just making stuff up I think. Trying to use statistical jargon with no statistical basis.

I think what Michael is getting at is that stalkers in RL are far more dangerous than the SL variety. Yet we don't see women in RL walking around with a bag on their head.