Do you ever 'share' your Real Life image?

Yes, but with whom, that is the question. Just because I may dress naughty for my lover that doesnt mean it is an open invitation to everyone.

Well whither you are a guy sort of, or a gal sort of, it is hard for me to understand what motivated you to put such a sexist statement on a public forum (Gee...I may be too shallow to understand). As a man, I take exception to the statement.
I find some women to be extremely shallow as well as some men. And then there are those who are sort of shallow. But then again, none of us should be standing around with an anal probe, measuring the depth or shallowness of assholes; At least not without lubrication.

Quit! Quit! Quit! Quit! Quit!

Now that I've calmed down and no longer want slap Mike ..

I think the problem is he writes for an audience of people that he assumes are like him ...

Basically someone who is a gamer/tech geek who spends a lot of time around younger (20ish) people.

When his audience is entirely different than that.

He made a reference about "asking for it" referring to stalkers to an audience that has a sizable number of women.

And thus managed to insult, and personally offend some people.

Like I said in a previous post, its a big step for someone who was stalked or raped to NOT find fault with their own actions in order to move on.

What a female wears definitely plays a role in how it influences a man to come on to her.

With all due respect, you might want to do a little more study on people who have BEEN raped - visit some victims and see how far you get with your opinions (which thankfully is a minority one)

QFT!!!!!

She/he was nice, therefor she/he wanted their attention...

Definitely, the victom is often left with this huge load of guilt as to what SHE did to illicit the assault. Somehow she must have done something wrong.

Ricardo, once again your mixing the mind of a healthy male to that of a sick and twisted mind that belongs to those who would force their way with a woman who is crying, and screaming and pleading for them to stop.

You guys are so difficult. You are so sensitive about rape, you don't even know how to discuss it. Simple as that.

Do you know me? Do you know if I've been raped? Do any of you have any inkling of knowledge about my past as a younger man? OK...nuff said.

True, but people have been talking about stalking, here. You, Ricardo, may very well be attracted to a woman because of what she wears, but it doesn't mean you will automatically think of stalking her, or that she was looking for anything more than simply be attractive to you.

Thats an easy statement for you right? It's THEM, not ME that has the problem... I'm right and THEY must be wrong.

DITTO. How much do you know about all the forum users here? Nuff said.

K

I want to slap him again.

---------

Mike, with the respect you've earned in this thread-

You are a pig.

I think 2k was mocking those who do have such an opinion

These type of twisted indiviuals don't need excuses to commit crimes against women. I wasn't referring to crime when I said that. But in some cases it does take place what a female was wearing comes into play. In some cases it awakens the evil in their minds, it does happen. You can't discount it.

If I walk down Compton at night, and I get shot, I was 'asking for trouble.' Did I say 'I want to get shot, please shoot me.' No, that's not what the term means...it's not literal.

Is it MY fault I got shot. Not technically...technically, it's the guy who shot me who's to blame. But I sure as hell could have made wiser choices.

I don't see how this is hard to understand.

Now enough of this...I think some of us just won't see eye to eye, because the topic is so sensitive. No one asks to be raped...but I won't believe for a second that *sometimes* the way a women dresses influences a sick mind.

*In a conspiratorial whisper*

"I'll let you in on my little secret... I'm not *really* a three tailed red fox, in Real life."

----------------

I don't come to SL to be my real self, meet people that I hope to meet in real life, and get dates. I come to be what I am not, to exceed the limitations of my physical self. To be furry, or taller, or thinner, or fatter, or younger, or older, or to have wings, or to be... whatever strikes my fancy that day. My main avatar, Ceera, has over 50 different forms and appearances. And I have alts that are completely different from all of those... If I just wanted to socialize as my real self, I wouldn't be on-line. I'd be hanging out in a bar or a dance club in real life.

No one gets my real life picture, ever. Not even Ceera's SL Partner of more than a year and a half's loving association. I spend a LOT of effort making each of my characters - the guys as well as the girls, the Humans as well as the furries - a believable and unique individual. I don't intend to shatter that illusion by linking all those characters to one real-world Human. Is my Player 18 or 80, male or female, black or white or asian or hispanic? Does it matter? You are not associating with my Player. My Player will never meet with you for a real-world date. You are encountering, and I hope enjoying, the fictional characters that my Player brings to life.

I have had one SL friend send me her RL photo. I really could have done quite happily without associating the face of a human male with my anthro vixen friend. Because now I don't see that friendly vixen when I encounter her. I see a guy wearing a mask.

Likewise, I have had it thrust upon me on several occasions that a particular guy or girl I know in SL was actually played by someone of the opposite gender. More often than not, it was a girl in SL with a guy playing her in the real world. In every case, once they knew that I knew, the dynamics of the relationship shifted. The 'girl' would stop trying to chat and behave like a girl, and would want to talk to me more about their real world interests. About guns, or cars, of geek stuff... They stopped trying so hard to create the illusion that I enjoyed in their company. I'm still friends with most of them, but it's no longer the same.

Given a choice, I want to interact with the characters that are presented, as they are presented, accepting them at face value. If the avatar is a tiny little blue-furred vixen, I don't want to know her Player is a 200-pound guy in Detroit, who still lives with his parents even though he graduated years ago...

If you were a kid at Disneyland, what would you do if Mickey Mouse pulled off his head in Public, revealing that his operator was a 50-year old bearded hippie with bad teeth? Probably run screaming and crying for mommy... In taking off the head of his Mascot costume in public, he completely destroys the illusion, weak as it is, that Mickey is there with the kids. It's a firing offense at Disney for a costumed character to do that. And it is for a reason.

You're absolutely correct. Unfortunately, it's not always the case.

We are sensitive because it is the continual view of "she asked for it" / 'she invited trouble' that keeps so many people from truly understanding rape/assault/stalking. Until it is poperly understood, it cannot be dealt with and potentially reduced or eliminated. The only way to stop the wronge perceptions about this type of crime is to continually speak out against any and every stupid wrong assumption on it.

You cast more stones than any 10 forum posters...I can't imagine anyone respects you any more than me at this point.

You call me names far more than I call you names. You're just a jerk.

Imagine yourself, a woman is drunk and beautiful, erotic, sexual and suggestive; she flaunts herself around you to provoke your sexual attention. You make your move but somewhere along the line she says no, she starts to cry, she asks you to stop.

This is where a healthy male stops realizing it would be wrong to proceed.

A rapist would not.

It's a definite barrior, there is no grey line of 'well she asked for it'. No, for a male to force himself upon a woman takes purposeful steps. Steps that a healthy male would never take.

-nods at him sweetly-
too bad they dont have voice in here so everyone could fight it out that way.

Absolutely. You're totally right. But certain steps can be taken to lessen these chances from happening...and sometimes these wiser steps are ignored...and bad things happen. It's a sad world sometimes.

The strange thing is, some felt uncomfortable about sharing a RL picture and were being called a little paranoid for not doing so, and then, by the same people, not careful enough. I'm confused and also genuinely embarrassed at having participated in the derailment of Sandy's thread. WTH happened? This thread started out so innocently...