Do you ever 'share' your Real Life image?

Mike imagine if you had a daughter, who grew up before you a beautiful child, she is your life, you would kill to protect her.

However, one day she's wearing a sun dress because it's 101 degrees outside. And is raped a mile from your home, repeatedly, beaten, left for dead....

I don't think you would be here today telling us she asked for it!

Personalizing the situation doesn't change a thing. And honestly, a sun dress is quite different than a mini skirt and tight shirt...walking alone in a sundress is completely different than the myriad women I've seen at frat parties half naked dancing with 10 different drunk guys...don't deny there is a huge difference.

Bad things happen...yes, I agree. And it's horrible when it does happen. But I certainly wouldn't let my daughter walk downtown Manhattan at nigh in a mini skirt...that's where choices can be made which definitely influence future actions.

There are plenty of posters with very strong opinions on many things, and when you bring them all together in the same place, even the slightest 'off' comment can trigger a reply to question it, or offer an opinion, which then gets met with a more aggressive reply back at them, and so on. At times I've been guilty of straying off of the OP, particularly with subjects I feel strongly about, and so have many many others in various threads. Also, we are all guilty of continuing that derailment, which is so easy to do when you get caught up in a debate/conversation in which you have a strong opinion about to the point you forget the original OP!

Ideally it would be great if you could 'bud off' such discussions into another thread, but of course RA really isn't the place.

For my part in the derailment: Apologies Sandy!

You generalize a little too much Michael...

In my experience how a woman dresses is more of a reflection of their socioeconomic status and their culture than anything else. Yes, some people dress to attract the opposite sex. But attaching a moral/behavioral judgment to their style is a huge and dangerous leap.

In the right mood and the right place, I would come on to an attractive woman no matter how she was dressed...

.d

Rapes don't always happen at night. And a sundress can be WAY more revealing than a mini skirt.

Your just damned determine to be right no matter what.

Loved your whole post, and I feel the same way. This part made me laugh, and I have to agree, I don't want to see who's under Mickey's lid.

I guess it depends on the reasons we come here. For some, it's no different than RL social venues or businesses, for others, it's a magical world - a candy store for adults.

Yes I also dont get the disconnect

How is it people can be told that many aren't careful enough and then by the same people told that posting their RL photo has no risk.

I agree...threads get naturally derailed, just as RL conversations do. It's the natural way of the mind...it's nice to stay on topic sometimes, but also be aware that sometimes these 'derailments' can be the most entertaining of threads...

There was a natural evolution of this topic...it all ties together. I find it fascinating myself. Sometimes we learn more about the main topic in the derailments than we do with a linear approach. The mind works in mysterious ways.

I apologize for contributing to this train wreck also...

Don't worry about it honey. This always happens - some carefully placed ignores will massively improve your experience.

That way, when people start taking everything to their monoview of the world and making threads miserable and contentious, you'll be spared a lot of it. Unless someone quotes it of course.

I sadly picture that there are people in the forum who sit around watching the news and when they hear of a woman being raped they yell out... "Oh she was probably asking for it!".

Michael,
Having had to deal with the effects of sexual assaults on two family members, your original "asking for trouble" post was extremely offensive. Changing the wording to "inviting trouble" doesn't change the intent inferred. The statements were just flat out wrong. Don't dig any deeper!

Ah, good questions, I'm glad you guys brought this up.

Lem'me esplain...wait, there's too much...lem'me sum up.

Bottom line: Putting a RL picture up on a SL profile is in no way as dangerous as dressing suggestively in public. You are inviting way more 'trouble' if you flaunt what you've got for all people to see day to day...at a club...at a party.

We must always be vigilant...but I think if you read all of what I said, you'd realize my rational was logical. Putting a picture on SL, and having the chance of being stalked, is worlds apart from dressing slutty and inviting trouble.

I guess some of you didn't see that connection, or lack there of.

Opportunity is far more of a danger than attire.

The most dangerous thing you could do is be nice to a guy who you don't want to be with, and then end up alone with him.

Awww...thanks Amaranthim..... hope all's well with ya!

You are completely correct - we let a few badly phrased or ignorant statements set us off.

Returning to the original question, which I don't think I ever answered: I have never been asked for a pic and have never offered one. There are a few here that I would share a picture with if they asked, but only a few.

/me now turns and walks away from this thread, vowing to not look back.

well having a pretty first life picture is going to attract all sorts of attention in SL.

More than how your avatar dresses.

So no I don't see your point.

Again, another example of a personalization of the subject interfering with the bigger picture.

Stop using the phrase 'asking for it'...clearly that's not what I meant, nor even technically what it means...

And if you can't deal with someone saying 'you're inviting trouble by dressing that slutty'...fine, but you're not living in the same reality I am. Because people--of all sexes--invite trouble by making certain choices. That's life. Sorry to burst your bubbles guys, and I'm sorry you're offended by the truth...life isn't a cake walk. It can be ugly.

I don't at all mean that women ask for trouble. Please read into what I'm saying, and stop being broken records about this 'asking for it' cliche.

They certainly do, and if I may say so.....that hamster doesn't do you justice.. As the old saying goes... "I wouldn't kick him outta the bed for eating crisps"...

There are still things in life to be thankful for...

I think part of the problem here is we're getting hung up on rape and stalking rather than harassment. I believe a woman who walks down the street dressing suggestively is more likely to get leers and catcalls and such. Some would say in a sense she is "asking for it". It doesn't make it right, but the odds are more likely it will happen.

Since I can only speak from a gay mans perspective, I will. One thing I hate is to go to a bar and have someone walk up and immediately grab my ass. You better buy me a drink first. I've seen guys wear assless chaps who get just as upset as I do when an unknown person grabs their ass. While logically I think they have the right to be upset, I do admit I don't have much sympathy either.

Rape and stalking are entirely different things. Especially rape. These are acts of violence and have more to do with the vulnerability of the individual than their sexiness. When my mother was in the hospital there were security guards posted everywhere because some sicko was sneaking into womens rooms and raping them. I'm sure they all looked really sexy lying there in hospital gowns.

I think you ended up on the pointy end of the sword...

tsk tsk Isabeau. You've been around long enough to know. We have Michael and Colette in the same room.

I would agree with that. And to be honest, leers and catcalls are not harmful, and if you walk by a construction site you could almost have a burqua on and get some attention.

I skipped the middle 16 pages, and it looks like that was a smart move based on what's on this page 18, but to get back to the topic:

A good friend of mine that is also a photographer just started a contest at her place where she has 10 photos up, and will give a prize to someone that guesses which one is really her. The pictures are very different, and even after hearing her voice, I'm still having trouble narrowing it down to fewer than 4. You can do a search for Legato's Grotto if you're interested. I don't have a slurl right now, but it's on Beachcomber Isle.

Very well said Bradley..... rape isn't about 'sex' it's about power and violence.... doesn't matter a heck what someone is dressed like.
If I go to a club wearing a strappy top etc... I'm not 'asking' for it, I'm just trying to make the most of my boobies before they go south for the winter.... Believe me, If I was 'asking' for it...there'd be no room for misinterpretation...

Heck... 'asking' for it....I think I've actually forgotten what 'it' is....