Where are all the good men?

Denial, like hope, springs eternal, and not just on any one particular subject.

("gimme free pizza" when a pizza delivery driver passes by stopped being funny about 5 minutes after the very first pizza delivery left the store. I regularly wish those thinking they're being wits [but not even half-right] by shouting that phrase to consume excrement and expire.)

(Erm, sorry, hot button issue of mine... )

I have a non-straight female AV, but it's not about lesbian cybersex. And anyone that gets really close knows that her typist is a male.

I've said in other threads that this sort deception is wrong. On the one hand you have to take people in SL at face value, take them as they present themselves know that they may not be the same person at the keyboard.


-Kiamat Dusk

I think you may be on to something here. Where does this self-hatred come from, I wonder?

Certainly anytime someone starts talking about "real men" I get upset. But then I feel like I'm lying no matter which gender people take me for.

This habit among men in SL is far too common to just sneer at. Most of the males I know who play females in SL are expressing something about themselves deeper than just a desire to see some girl-on-girl action.

Most of the men I've known who play a female in SL have deeply submissive and feminine sides to them. They aren't interested in the girl-on-girl thing so much as an alternative way of expressing a part of them they have to keep hidden because of the societal emphasis on machismo.

Of course, that may just be the people I attract. YMMV.

I attract the straight guy gender pretenders. Maybe its becuase they know im married in my first life i dont know. Invariably their interest transforms from wanting to know how much i like women to how much i like men ( i think i should learn to clue into this)

though i have known male player/female avs who fit that catagory you mentioned.
Though many want to be "Subs" in a D/S sense

I dont consider someone who wants to be a "lesbian sex pet sub" necessirily a submissive tho since some seem more enamored with pretending to be a slutty female, and arent really submissive or feminine anyway.

as far as Transgendered , real or imagined. Those genetic males who are truly transgendered and Second life really helps them feel more themselves - thats a harder situation to guage.


**
As far as the men who are up front about all this and play female avs - well thats different.

Or the men players/ female avs who move on to someone who isnt concerned about RL gender as soon as they find out a potential partner is concerned about that.

Its hard to be critical of those two cases at all becuase they arent actually lying about who they are to you.

--------------------------

This whole issue has been discussed to Death(and beyond ..) on the forums.

It is interesting how - few people would defend someone who is married IRL lying about it.

While may will defend those who lie about other RL aspects that may matter to someone.

Those people who want none of their RL details to matter AT ALL - should stick to dating peopel who feel the same way. And vice versa.

I think it's amazing that people will get in a tizzy about a guy in a girl AV or vice versa like it's all some big lie....but Furries are ok? That's someone in an animal Av fer cryin' out loud! It's a virtual world. You take people as they come or go home. I do RL dating in RL.

-Kiamat Dusk
...no Furries were harmed in the making of this post...

goes back to the ground rules set in the relationship though.

for exampe people i date know what it is i want and know ive been lied to in the past and it hurt me (im up front about it) i tell them with plenty of warning to move on without "outing" themselves. In that case its wrong.

I know other people who are not concerned with Rl details in the slighteset- well , then its not wrong to them.

If i lied about being married id fully expect any relationship i had to go down in flames when my online lover found out. I dont see the large disconnect people do.

Well, that's different insomuch as youstated that up front. Most people don't walk up to a potential partner and say "Hey, you're not a guy/gal are you?" If someone asked my female AV-I'd be honest. On the other hand, everyone close to her knows. *shrug*

-Kiamat Dusk

Pixpls.

Furries are a a specific fetish based in unreality. While there are no anthropomorphic cats out there, there are definitely both male and female human beings. It's apples and oranges.

Also, it depends on what both parties want in the relationship. If they both want to pretend to be magic squirrels or whatever, without any concern for RL, that's fine. But if a person wants to know that their partner is at least her preferred gender or of legal age, it's only respectful to be honest. You don't have to give your entire life-story or anything (unless RL is a distinct possibility or you're being serious at the relationship) but at least make sure that the the person knows who or what they're involved with to *some* degree.

Simple, basic respect.

3 million years of evolution and humans are still at the level of animals for anything concerning sex...

Maybe in another 3 million years, we will outgrow the need for sex and finally get down to the business of ruling this universe, before it collapses back into a tiny infinitely dense black hole...

...But I don't want to rule the universe. I just want more sushi.

you would get all the sushi you ever dreamed of if you ruled the universe...

well ...

A man playing a Female av looking for other female avs to have a "lesbian" relationship is doing the same thing

as a man playing a female av looking for male avs to have "hetero" relationship,

Why is it the first is generally socially aceptable and the other isnt.?

And i am constantly amazed by people who say that a person can not set their own boundries on what they want in a relationship real or virtual.

If I said I never want to date someone who sells cigars for example - thats my right.

Well that did it, Colette. You blew your last chance at that White House internship

Is this true? I've found people get upset in either situation, even when I try to be upfront about things.

-------

Re: sushi. Do you suppose things like sex and sushi were created to keep us busy, so we don't keep trying to rule the universe?

I dont mean the other person - i mean general sentiment.

In the forums especially. There is a lot of sympathy for men whoove found out their online partner is a man not a woman,

But when a woman finds out her online partner is a man and not a woman, theres a lot of people who tell us "its just a game, its just pixels, etc"

there is some sympathy but it does seem a definite double standard.

I think I'm about to become your stalker.



.

Have you tried looking under your heal? That is where most "good men" are.

This is an exceedingly salient point. However, would I get the /time/ to enjoy it properly?

Ohhh, riiiiiiiiiight. I already know how that would go. You'd call me up with some line about "It's just dinner! Don't be so homophobic!" and I'd be all like "Weeelllll...if it's just dinner."

And then we'll go back to my place and you'll "accidentally" spill some wine on your white shirt and have to wash it right away. Oh, and then it'll be all like "since I'm already half undressed, mind if I use your shower?"

Yeah, whatever. Sheesh. Men are pigs.

-Kiamat Dusk

Real men will just walk past your sex av and hope you do not follow them home ;]

~ink~

Oh well in response to the OP's post: There are good men everywhere you choose to look. It is really hard to have a certain "vision of a perfect man" and try to look for him because, he's just a vision...a phantom of the mind, so to speak.

But, anywhos, Juuuro, stop bothering, Kiamat! I got dibs on the wine spilling "accident" first. XD