When you said that these men "became better mates" you mean that they caved in and behaved how their women thought they ought to behave.
Ah, I thought I recognized a Gorean.
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Daros Jewell
Lolcat ov teh day
Join date: 26 Jun 2007
Posts: 126
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11-20-2008 12:23
When you said that these men "became better mates" you mean that they caved in and behaved how their women thought they ought to behave. Ah, I thought I recognized a Gorean. _____________________
I r in lurv
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Chris Norse
Loud Arrogant Redneck
Join date: 1 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,735
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11-20-2008 12:43
But the dreary stumbling me-me-me young men that I have to face and choose as a mate in THIS day and age are spoilt and selfish. And trust me, I can take my pick! And I mean in the REAL world here. I am a young professinal who basically sees no opportunity in terms of a partnership. Maybe a bloke to take out for a meal or two and a shag; but that's about it. I missed this earlier. Do you think that the "progressive sexuality" of the 60's and 70's has led you into this situation? Could the tolerance of open sex have led men to not value a partnership with a woman? You know the old saying about free milk and a cow. _____________________
I'm going to pick a fight
William Wallace, Braveheart “Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind” Douglas MacArthur FULL |
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Eclectic Wingtips
Registered User
Join date: 21 Dec 2007
Posts: 795
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11-20-2008 13:50
/FD peeks in quickly and post before going back to shadows. I seriously doubt the majority even know what "two spirit" person is here. I know what it is. Do you guys even know what a "two spirit" person is? You know what annoys me the most about the transgenders, being multi-gender thing here or clubs that serve them? All of them serve individuals or requirement is they have to be "female" appearing or one's that allow it they must look like lesbians, butch,etc. I know a whole lot about this also in real life women who were assigned the gender in first life who are Men who have more dominate personalities it has to do with hormones, upbringing. Transgender, Transexual, even intersexed people are associated with the Male to Female transexual only be they gay, straight or transdyke none of the other types really matter because they don't matter unless they get themselves murder, become a popular movie decide to prance themselves around all the talk shows or they get themselves pregnant and go on Oprah. The ill informed will referr themselves as "male transexuals" but present themselves as female. In most virtual environments where certain things are involved that are male dominated even if they appear female, it all comes back to one thing male fantasy, male wants and needs. There are even books written on the subject. When it comes to Men and their fantasies or sexuality even they are presenting themselves as Females be in fantasy setting or full transistion with SRS their going to be one's who stand out the most, their going to be the majority and doesn't matter where it is. And there is always going to be similar reactions negative or positive we seen here I know numerous who are male to females either by fantasy or literally are. I know zero people like myself here who are about out it unless they want to be seen as butch dyke by lesbians and that is totally cool if that what they want to do but I don't get it. That is okay, there is more worries about the men presenting themselves as females. more need to make sure they are who they say they are, etc. Truth is those who truly are not out to those publicly unless they know someone one well normally. Anyone in real transistion aren't going to tell you their business or very few will, because it is medical condition. It isn't like being gay and coming out, gay men don't get their sex organs inverted and chopped up to become gay. Im sorry im not sure what right you have to judge how another person feels or how they go about this stuggle. For you to decide someone is having a fantasy.... well sorrybut isnt that what it is. An aboslute desire to be soemthng that right now you arent. Right now my partner isnt transitioning. She has only just come to terms with who she is. However we have talked at leangth about trnsitioning and are considering doing it when we are together in RL. But to be honest she IS femle, whether or not she feels she can transition or not she is a woman. A LOT of transgender folk never transition becuase in short they dont have the strengeth to deal with the reactions for peeopl. Hiding the fact they are transitioning in RL is all but impossible for most. SL is a format people can be what they feel, it is the space that tg women can get out how they feel inside. Ohhhh and i know of three tg women who have discussed transitioning with me. One who got surgeryaround 6 months ago and is very happy. I think SL it is easier to be honest about these feelings. It is easier to talk about things which are often taboo in RL. _____________________
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Jig Chippewa
Fine Young Cannibal
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,150
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11-20-2008 14:56
I missed this earlier. Do you think that the "progressive sexuality" of the 60's and 70's has led you into this situation? Could the tolerance of open sex have led men to not value a partnership with a woman? You know the old saying about free milk and a cow. Hmm. Interesting. A serious response is called for. I wasnt in teh 60s and 70s in the years of teh progressive sexuality. My mum was. So was my dad. I was born a bit later than all that. If tolerance of open sex led men not to value a partnership why not vice versa? A woman wasnt tied to one loser for her entire life, if she had teh cojones to leave him. The Pill gave women teh option to decide for herself when and if she would conceive. Freedom to Choose gave her another option. In that way women became more self-determining. You know that, Chris, coz I presume (unwisely?) that you forum persona is NOT the "real" Chris. The wonderful freedom of clothing in the 1960s and 70s gave women even more opportunities to express themselves. Education (particularly in Europe, UK, and Developing World) gave women more of a chance to help in their household economic situation and in a broader sense to escape escape the domestic routine of child-rearing and house guardianship. Oh, I know female circumcision (for example) still goes on but women's right in many countries is improving. Has this sex rev. turned off men who expect a more "olde-tyme" partner? Probably. But those men are usually looking for teh equivalent fo a mail order bride. I have not married Chris, coz I am probably too uppity and busy for most men to handle. I am not frightened of men, but having seen what has happened to close friends an dbright women in my life, I admit I am CAUTIOUS of engaging in a long-term relationship with a man. Honestly, I havent met a man who I want for my companion. As my gran said, "Sooner or later when the fun is over you've got to talk to each other, Jig. Always ask yourself is he bright enough for you?" So far Chris, no one has been. I am not "free" milk. I'm full cream and expensive.  _____________________
Fine Young Cannibal
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Spanky Rossini
Registered User
Join date: 23 Jun 2007
Posts: 34
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11-20-2008 15:01
Some guys make themselves look pathetic by virtue of their arrogant uninformed posts right here. No need to go in-world. lol thats funny I haven't any posts like this! |
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Imnotgoing Sideways
Can't outlaw cute! =^-^=
Join date: 17 Nov 2007
Posts: 4,694
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11-20-2008 15:06
WOW!!! Serious topic is serious. I'm feeling about as deep as a bottle cap reading some of these posts. Is the discussion even about avatars anymore? (O.o)
_____________________
Somewhere in this world; there is someone having some good clean fun doing the one thing you hate the most. (^_^)y
 http://slurl.com/secondlife/Ferguson/54/237/94 |
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Spanky Rossini
Registered User
Join date: 23 Jun 2007
Posts: 34
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11-20-2008 15:18
You can never be 100% sure. Not with voice, not with webcam or MySpace photos, not even with a RL meeting. Why, I read the other day about a false result from a damn DNA test! If it's important to you (and, if you are headed for a very close and intimate relationship with someone, it may well be), then ask. Don't think of it as "forcing their hand". What kind of relationship is built on coercion and mistrust? Ask them. If the person wants a real, lasting relationship with you...and if they are WORTH having such a relationship with...they will tell you. Sadly, there are a few who won't. If you encounter one, and trust them, and later find out your trust was misplaced...well, people lie to other people all the time, for all sorts of reasons, good and bad, and people get hurt because of it. That's life. Live with it. Well forcing someone's hand with voice isn't something I would do personally but I can sympathize with guys who are so insecure that they feel the need to verify whether or not they are talking to an actual female. I don't see this as being such a bad thing. I would never do this primarily because I'm not too worried about it and not looking for any kind of meaningful relationship on here. Also the last thing I would want to do is put pressure on an actual women to reveal personal information or to make someone do something they aren't comfortable with like going on a webcam. I'm not into all that anyway. But lets face it, if its that important to someone to know the gender of the person they are talking to asking them to use voice is just about the only means people have on here to weed out the impostors, and although its not completely effective and you would risk alienating or pressuring a legitimate female into doing something they aren't comfortable with you would at least have some level of success in protecting yourself from getting into something you aren't comfortable with. I think it works both ways, the men who are using female avatars for sex are sort of forcing the hand of their partners as well, I think its a little unfair to say there is something wrong with a guy because he doesn't want to do something he isn't comfortable with. Keep in mind I'm talking from the perspective of a dude that uses female avatars, not as a guy who cares about whether or not the women I hook up with are really females. Just wanting to have a little consideration for everybody else's preferences. |
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Spanky Rossini
Registered User
Join date: 23 Jun 2007
Posts: 34
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11-20-2008 15:23
I don't think gay people want to use a female avatar either. Gay people like to look like this:  very butch! Now THAT is gay! Maybe i should have said its ghey. |
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Jig Chippewa
Fine Young Cannibal
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,150
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11-20-2008 15:33
This has nothing to do with gay. Gay men are like all men in this regard. But it looks lke some posters to this have made a classic mistake in regards to gay men - they have assumed gay means effeminate or Village People. That is so unkind. And unworthy. Sorry, but I feel this way. You see, when I - a woman - was in need of a man to help me out in my real life in a terrible situation, a friend - gay and happily so - came to my rescue and stayed by my side when "REAL" men were wankers to the Nth degree and refused to help me or laughed at my misfortune.
Long may Gay men (and women) grace our planet. May they be blessed by angels. _____________________
Fine Young Cannibal
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Spanky Rossini
Registered User
Join date: 23 Jun 2007
Posts: 34
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11-20-2008 15:41
This has nothing to do with gay. Gay men are like all men in this regard. But it looks lke some posters to this have made a classic mistake in regards to gay men - they have assumed gay means effeminate or Village People. That is so unkind. And unworthy. Sorry, but I feel this way. You see, when I - a woman - was in need of a man to help me out in my real life in a terrible situation, a friend - gay and happily so - came to my rescue and stayed by my side when "REAL" men were wankers to the Nth degree and refused to help me or laughed at my misfortune. Long may Gay men (and women) grace our planet. May they be blessed by angels. Well I don't mean to be unkind and certainly didn't mean it that way. But I also think there is some value in being a masculine dude too. Not that I am some big macho guy myself but I like to think of myself as having the heart of someone who is a throwback to the days when men were men! (yeah right) There are gays this way too they aren't all effeminate. Those Village People in the picture have bigger muscles than me! |
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Jig Chippewa
Fine Young Cannibal
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,150
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11-20-2008 15:57
You answer liek a true gentleman (as Hamlet said)
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Fine Young Cannibal
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4318723350112047 String
Registered User
Join date: 5 Sep 2008
Posts: 147
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11-20-2008 16:14
This has nothing to do with gay. Gay men are like all men in this regard. But it looks lke some posters to this have made a classic mistake in regards to gay men - they have assumed gay means effeminate or Village People. That is so unkind. And unworthy. Sorry, but I feel this way. You see, when I - a woman - was in need of a man to help me out in my real life in a terrible situation, a friend - gay and happily so - came to my rescue and stayed by my side when "REAL" men were wankers to the Nth degree and refused to help me or laughed at my misfortune. .  You're such a drag.. I have a nice place where you might like to discuss domestic violence and other real world issues: http://messageboards.lego.com/en-US/default.aspx |
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Jig Chippewa
Fine Young Cannibal
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,150
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11-20-2008 16:17
You're such a drag.. I have a nice place where you might like to discuss domestic violence and other real world issues: http://messageboards.lego.com/en-US/default.aspx Yeah I know I am - you see, I've seen my share of domestic violence. The cruelest is teh mental abuse. Bruises fade, scars can be hidden. Mental abuse never fades. It's as fresh as teh day it happened. Without realy getting too much into this, teh question I asked was "what would a man be so cruel? - what does he get from saying these awful things?" _____________________
Fine Young Cannibal
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Spanky Rossini
Registered User
Join date: 23 Jun 2007
Posts: 34
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11-20-2008 16:18
You answer liek a true gentleman (as Hamlet said) Thanks but im way too macho to read those Shakespeare poems! just joking |
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4318723350112047 String
Registered User
Join date: 5 Sep 2008
Posts: 147
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11-20-2008 16:19
Yeah I know I am - you see, I've seen my share of domestic violence. . I bet you have! |
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Jig Chippewa
Fine Young Cannibal
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,150
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11-20-2008 16:23
I bet you have! I'm removing myself from the thread, String. It's not right to say that. I never harmed teh abuser in the situation I was in. The question of instigation never arises in domestic violence. _____________________
Fine Young Cannibal
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4318723350112047 String
Registered User
Join date: 5 Sep 2008
Posts: 147
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11-20-2008 16:35
I'm removing myself from the thread, String. It's not right to say that. I never harmed teh abuser in the situation I was in. The question of instigation never arises in domestic violence. here, have some of this: <3 Now STFU! |
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Imnotgoing Sideways
Can't outlaw cute! =^-^=
Join date: 17 Nov 2007
Posts: 4,694
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11-20-2008 16:46
/me is noticing a touch of abusive behaviour here... (O.o)
_____________________
Somewhere in this world; there is someone having some good clean fun doing the one thing you hate the most. (^_^)y
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Ferguson/54/237/94 |
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FD Spark
Prim & Texture Doodler
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 4,697
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11-20-2008 17:28
Im sorry im not sure what right you have to judge how another person feels or how they go about this stuggle. For you to decide someone is having a fantasy.... well sorrybut isnt that what it is. An absolute desire to be soemthng that right now you arent. Right now my partner isnt transitioning. She has only just come to terms with who she is. However we have talked at leangth about trnsitioning and are considering doing it when we are together in RL. But to be honest she IS femle, whether or not she feels she can transition or not she is a woman. A LOT of transgender folk never transition becuase in short they dont have the strengeth to deal with the reactions for peeopl. Hiding the fact they are transitioning in RL is all but impossible for most. SL is a format people can be what they feel, it is the space that tg women can get out how they feel inside. Ohhhh and i know of three tg women who have discussed transitioning with me. One who got surgeryaround 6 months ago and is very happy. I think SL it is easier to be honest about these feelings. It is easier to talk about things which are often taboo in RL. I am not intentionally judging anyone I am intersexed and Transexual male who looks and is like guy but was not assigned as male at birth and lived as someone in between genders in real life for last 15 years or more. If I didn't have partner with similar history and few friends there would be none of us and invisible because we don't really matter by the collective conscious or fantasy life unless you stumble upon a rare porn video of guys like us. There maybe 3 for every thousand of those ladygirl, shemale type porn out there. People like myself don't even register in collective conscious to be fetishized. This is my personal experience. I think I have little more right to speak on the matter then someone who just put on female pixelated skin who this is just light fantasy not a medical condition who've truly never suffered because they were gender differently. They can stop being who they are once they leave SL, no one going to know what they did here on the street and want to kill or beat them up. I face this risk every day if people find out in my first life. That just tiny part of the real life issues that go a long with being truly transexual or intersexed. In world if you aren't female identified and appearing and you go to one of those places you're not welcomed. This hasn't just happen to me it happen to my rl partner too. Guys like myself don't exist unless we fit some lesbian fantasy community and we are totally nonexistent or invisible in the gay or heterosexual crowd. Any support group there will be numerous male to female identified indivuals but none the other way around when it comes to any in world support group for transsexuals. Few that are there they aren't friendly or it is geared towards Lesbians. This isn't just in Second life, it happens in first life too. So yes Men become Female are dominate in the fact they are every where and no it isn't new thing or just a SL thing and it happens more online because they don't worry about be found out beaten up or killed. _____________________
Look for my alt Dagon Xanith on Youtube.com
Newest video is Loneliness by Duo Zikr DX's Alts & SL Art Death of Avatar |
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Spanky Rossini
Registered User
Join date: 23 Jun 2007
Posts: 34
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11-20-2008 18:14
Wow some guy dressed up with a bowtie just came up to me and started calling me "faggot" in response to my posts on the forums here!
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FD Spark
Prim & Texture Doodler
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 4,697
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11-20-2008 18:24
Wow some guy dressed up with a bowtie just came up to me and started calling me "faggot" in response to my posts on the forums here! Ouch Are you going to AR him? How did he find you? _____________________
Look for my alt Dagon Xanith on Youtube.com
Newest video is Loneliness by Duo Zikr DX's Alts & SL Art Death of Avatar |
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Imnotgoing Sideways
Can't outlaw cute! =^-^=
Join date: 17 Nov 2007
Posts: 4,694
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11-20-2008 18:32
Wow some guy dressed up with a bowtie just came up to me and started calling me "faggot" in response to my posts on the forums here! Where are these people.. I'm hungry for a good harass'n. (^_^)y _____________________
Somewhere in this world; there is someone having some good clean fun doing the one thing you hate the most. (^_^)y
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Ferguson/54/237/94 |
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Spanky Rossini
Registered User
Join date: 23 Jun 2007
Posts: 34
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11-20-2008 18:32
Ouch Are you going to AR him? How did he find you? Who knows how he found me but absolutely I did an abuse report on him. He pretty much just came out of nowhere. Now I know how it feels for gay people if this is how they usually get treated! |
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4318723350112047 String
Registered User
Join date: 5 Sep 2008
Posts: 147
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11-20-2008 18:36
Who knows how he found me but absolutely I did an abuse report on him. He pretty much just came out of nowhere. Now I know how it feels for gay people if this is how they usually get treated! What did you report him for? For calling you a faggot or for wearing a bow tie? |
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Spanky Rossini
Registered User
Join date: 23 Jun 2007
Posts: 34
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11-20-2008 18:37
Oh, the joy of people with nothing better to do with their lives but spew obscenities at strangers. (T_T) Where are these people.. I'm hungry for a good harass'n. (^_^)y I was pretty shocked! Its kind of funny too that yesterday someone different came up to me while I was shopping and started "bitchslapping" me! I've never had anything like that happen before. Probably not related to the forum posts though like the incident that just happened, but who knows! |
