Evil titlers

I think I irritated someone at my place yesterday when I politely declined to set his evil titler. I told him I would change it only if he told me what he wanted it to say. I just wasn't comfortable with the idea of giving him something he didn't want.

If someone chooses to wear one, he or she certainly does run the risk of someone abusing it. Having said that, it doesn't make the abuse okay. If you go over the line and put something cruel or inappropriate, you should be expected to do the decent thing and apologize, just if you insulted someone in any other medium.

No, it's bad to be a jerk about it if you inadvertently blow the victim's squick fuses.

I usually set them to something like "Antidisestablishmentarian" or "Guerilla Economist".

How very not funny, and not evil. That's fine. I don't bother setting the dumb things at all - but this is not like a "short skirt" as analogized above. This device ASKS people to play with it, and its very name, which shows up in chat, invites mischief. Can't take it? Don't wear it.

Given the kind of people who I generally see wearing them, the evil part is that they'll never understand why those titles should be embarrassing.

If people want to change it to "ask me about my embarrassing problem", that's fine. All *I'm* saying is that if the target is upset only a jerk would refuse to apologize. Just as if you were at a scene and someone got squicked and safeworded out.

If it hurt her feelings, then it wasn't harmless.

I don't know how well you know her or what the joke was. So I'll just point out the general phenomenon that people communicating over the net are often more brash than they would be in person. It's better to show some restraint until you're sure you know the people around you well.

Addendum: I also agree with the people who say that she shouldn't be wearing this if she's going to take offense so easily. That may seem hypocritical, but it's not. Courtesy and emotions are not a zero-sum game.

Evil Titlers are one of the most pointless things I've come across in SL. They are the sort of thing that might be a bit of fun among a group of friends for a few minutes.

If you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen.

Pep ("Never apologise" - Jethro Leroy Gibbs)

That's kinda the whole point, isn't it?

And if someone does write something really obnoxious in one, it's not that hard to reset it (like any of the RLV stuff) and make a note in their profile that they're a jackass.

That seventh facelight, now that's pointless.

QFT

I can see apologizing only in the case that you put something in the title that was immensely personal. But if you are out in a public place wearing that thing and some random person puts some toilet humor in your title, you literally did ask for it. I mean, really, what do you expect?

Different people expect different things. Yes, there are adults who have no idea that another adult they're associating with would think that kind of thing funny. You can argue that they just got a valuable lesson, but they were still upset, and if you upset someone you apologize.

Apologies are useless and hypocritical if you don't mean them.

Pep (Why should I apologise because of YOUR inadequacy?)

Butthurt Evil Titler wearers and drama queens with "no drama" in their profiles! Tonight at 8! XD

=^-^=

I still say that a true evil titler would never announce the name of the person that sets the title. That's cheating! (^_^)y

Yes, but we already know you're a jerk, Pep.

First, yes you should have apologized. And you should have meant it!

Now as for some of the other comments about reseting or removing it, or even why she was wearing it in the first place.. Most of those wearing such things are a sub in a D/s relationship. As such they do NOT have a choice about wearing it. While I do not agree with forcing your sub to wear such a thing, it seems to happen a lot.

While I don't know if that was the case here, the vast majority I have seen wearing such things are submissives. Just thought I should put in my two cents about the "If she was wearing it she deserved what she got" idea.

Could always create an evil titler with an allow/ban list for the paranoid. That way only your friends can mess with you.

QFT.

My SL sis was made to use one for a while by her Mistress. It's a humiliation thing really - and they both got something out of it.

But evil titlers kinda tread that line between consensual and not, in a way. Especially if the wearer is in a relationship whereby bad things can happen if they messed with it.

In this case, it sounds like the person shouldn't have been wearing it, and the OP should have apologized after offense was given. But it's a pretty minor event in the grand scheme of things, so ... meh.

I don't think I've come across one of those title things.
I can see how they could be fun if people put up amusing text.

It appears from the OP that whatever was put up was bad enough to trigger a complaint and a request for an apology from the land owner.
Why refuse to apologise?
If the offence was unintentional, what's the big deal in saying "sorry"?
Giving the offence unintentionally could be due to a cultural difference or a fit of over exuberance, but getting uppity over an apology if no offence was intended is the mark of a true idiot.



Whereas it isn't to be unexpected that some idiot will put something really awful in it, that in no way relieves others of their responsibility not to be an offensive idiot/griefer.
Nobody asks to be abused (except perhaps in RP). I'm not sure that even people in BDSM actually asked to be made to feel abused - as in having their limits exceeded.

Does a girl in a short dress ask to be assaulted? She's "asking for it"?

If someone leaves terraforming open on their land, are they asking for it to be terraformd to hell by some idiot?
If someone leaves build on, are they asking for someone to rezz mega-penises?

We shouldn't be surprised if someone does terraform and/or rezz.
The reason that we shouldn't be surprised is that there are some complete plonkers wandering about in SL.

SL is 100% consensual.

No, that's not true. I've seen tons of people wearing them who are not in D/s relationships. They can be fun for short periods of time.

I tend to agree with Cristalle. They are called *evil* titlers for a reason. Unless the OP put something that was based on personal information or was exceedingly crude or harsh, I would see no reason to apologize.

True enough. But one could burn a relationship exercising ones freedom.

Words to live by!



A touch more than #1-6.

Mari
(Who usually puts "Beware the Wombat!" or "I Like Cheese" into peoples evil titlers)

If one is going to force another to be humiliated, against their will, then that is not a relationship I would want to preserve. If it's not fun for both of us, we would need to part ways. I'm not going to spend my second life being miserable.

IIRC, subs have the right to say NO. Slaves are different, but then they have a choice - get a new master. Log in with a normal viewer and cut the ties.