Does Virtual Cheating Still Count?

Looks like I prepare to have sexual intercourse every morning before I go to work and every evening when I come back!

I wonder why I'm not more exhausted all the time?

Except Michael's, which are as wrong as it is possible to be.

Ummm...Conan.

I think you'll find that I'M the right one here. You're the wrong one. How many people agree with Conan that cheating is ONLY when you have intercourse?

Raise your hands people!

I wonder why I'm not more exhausted all the time?

I agree with Brenda. Squeeze, Mike, Conan ... you will never convince each other and you know it. C'mon, admit it. Which makes this discussion very close to trolling ..

Because you don't follow through

It's like this;
If you buy a crowbar with the intention of using it in a burglary, you are not yet a burglar. This is a preparatory act, but does not constitute an attempt at commission of the act itself.

If kissing someone else is cheating, then offering to buy someone else a drink in a bar must also be cheating, by your logic.

I don't subscribe to this nonsense that a person can be guilty of something (anything, not just cheating) in thought aswell as deed. It's pure nonsense.

Having a judgment about someone is not a sin, it's human. Allowing a judgment to unfairly cloud your reactions is the problem.

That being said, the original post asked for peoples opinions on the matter. Just because people state their opinions which may not agree with another persons opinions doesn't mean they are judging that individual.

I agree with Brenda. Squeeze, Mike, Conan ... you will never convince each other and you know it. C'mon, admit it. Which makes this discussion very close to trolling ..

I expect The Secret give you this special knowledge then.

Having a lot of people agree with you is not the same as being right. A lot of people believe silly things; some people think that showing "feelings" is important for example, and not just a sign of weakness - which they clearly are.

No I can't agree with that. Cheating is having sexual intercourse with someone else.

You're missing the whole point.

If you have an arrangement with whoever you're in a relationship with that you can make out with other girls and buy them drinks then you're not being unfaithful when you go do it.

If that's not the arrangement but you want it to be you'd better talk it over with your significant other or find someone that IS down with that.

And kissing isn't a preparatory act any more than hugging or cuddling or having a meaningful conversation is. Their all signs of affection and don't always have to do with sex.

Your definition is like the churches' that say dancing leads directly to sex. It's not at all accurrate.

Intercourse is not just a physical act. Sure we can have lots of sex with nameless people but it's hard to imagine there not being some emotion there. That would be pretty boring to me.

If there weren't feelings behind sex then why would anyone need to cheat? .

In this thread I have seen several comments along the lines of this:

There is something I just don't understand about this sentiment. Why the use of the word 'instead'? Do you think human beings are really that limited? I don't.

When I chat online, I don't do that 'instead' of talking face to face to people. I do both.

When I make a new friend, on line or off line, I am not their friend 'instead' of being friends with someone else. I can be friends with many people.

When I masturbate, I don't do that 'instead' of having sex with my husband. We have plenty of mutually satisfying sex.

When I fantasize about other people, I don't do that 'instead' of fancying my husband. I think my husband is hot and frequently have the urge to rip off his clothes when he is looking especially yummy.

When I cyber, I don't do that 'instead' of sharing sexual fantasies with my husband. We both have a dirty mouth and are not afraid to use it to excite each other.

When I form an intimate relationship with someone else, I don't do that 'instead' of having a loving and intimate relationship with my husband. I have enough love for more than one person.

So when is this 'instead' supposed to enter the equation? I really don't get it. How pessimistic must your view of humans be if you choose to believe that every contact outside of your primary relationship necessarily substracts something from that relationship? How can you deal with multiple relationships (spouse, friends, parents, children etc.) if you think that way? If even just a brief sexual encounter on line takes too much away from a relationship, there is no way one could possibly juggle meaningful relationships with more than one person at a time.

I think a lot of people have mis-understood why people cheat. People don't cheat because they are looking for affection. People cheat because they want the physical act without the affection, most of the time. The vast majority of married men who cheat genuinely love their wives, and that is why they never leave them. They just want a change of scene - simple as that.

I might love chocolate cake - but if that was all I could eat, everyday for the rest of my life, I'd go mad. Occcasionally, something savoury makes a nice change.

I don't personally think it's the contact with someone else outside your primary relationship which is the problem. If it's the "wrong" sort of contact (by which I mean wrong for the individual involved), then yes that does detract from your primary relationship. If the contact causes you to be dishonest with your partner, or if it's something that would make them feel bad if they found out, then it's an erosion to your "primary" relationship. I don't buy this stuff that humans aren't meant to be monogamous. That's saying that we're motivated primarily by hormones, not by brains and compassion. (The last 2 sentences of this post weren't directed at you, Suzy, just in general)

Men and women tend to cheat for different reasons -- just thought I would point that out.

I wouldn't know why women cheat. But men cheat for the physical side of things. They go home to their wives afterwards for affection.

I wouldn't know why women cheat. But men cheat for the physical side of things. They go home to their wives afterwards for affection.

So you agree that kissing isn't cheating then! There three kinds of kissing -

1. plutonic kisses, which can't really be called cheating. If I kiss my best female friend ont he cheek have I cheated?
2. kissing your partner - don't really need to explain why this isn't cheating do I
3. kissing that is preparatory to sex. If you makeout with a stranger in a bar, you may not necessarily go on to have sex with them - but it means you both want to, even if you decide not to.

I think a lot of people have mis-understood why people cheat. People don't cheat because they are looking for affection. People cheat because they want the physical act without the affection, most of the time. The vast majority of married men who cheat genuinely love their wives, and that is why they never leave them. They just want a change of scene - simple as that.

I might love chocolate cake - but if that was all I could eat, everyday for the rest of my life, I'd go mad. Occcasionally, something savoury makes a nice change.

Various studies have shown that married women who cheat do so for affection and emotional attention much more than for physical gratification. Very different from men, really.

There is no right or wrong here. It's what the individual percieves, based upon the context of their relationship. And there is sanctimony, which is spread out fairly evenly on both sides...

Various studies have shown that married women who cheat do so for affection and emotional attention much more than for physical gratification. Very different from men, really.