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Does Virtual Cheating Still Count? |
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Berith Lytton
Gamer Chick
Join date: 18 Mar 2007
Posts: 106
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08-18-2007 17:18
Well simply put if you need to hide it from them, it's cheating............... Most people wouldn't say to their spouse "your friend looks good, I'd like to have sex with them" either. Sorry, but I don't think that you have to tell your spouses anything and everything you do to avoid being called a cheater. And you folk have said nothing to show me that my opinion is wrong. |
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Brenda Connolly
Un United Avatar
Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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08-18-2007 17:18
I'm actually with you on that. If a couple decides to go for strict, no erotic contact with others (as it seems to be defined most of the time) monogamy, more power to them. Whatever makes their relationship work. I just sometimes get a little tired after the umpteenth suggestion that there must be something wrong with every relationship that doesn't work exactly like that. The other view I am trying - very ineloquently - to present, is that for some of us our relationship does work while not adhering to the same rules that so many people view as 'standard'. And that for some of us, our relationship does not work in spite of having other agreements, but because of it. Or rather: that the non-monogamous aspect of our relationship contributes to our connection as much as having the same sense of humour or challenging each other intellectually etc. does. That for some people that freedom might be an integral part of what makes us click. But now I'm ranting (and at the wrong person too), probably due to the time of night and slightly too much Chardonnay. I'll stop now.  Exactly. There is no Standard when it comes to personal relationships. Oh Chardonnay gives me headaches. I prefer Shiraz. _____________________
Don't you ever try to look behind my eyes. You don't want to know what they have seen.
http://brenda-connolly.blogspot.com |
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Victorria Paine
Sleepless in Wherever
Join date: 13 Jul 2007
Posts: 1,110
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08-18-2007 17:19
Exactly. There is no Standard when it comes to personal relationships. Oh Chardonnay gives me headaches. I prefer Shiraz. Yeah I tried the Chard this evening too .. I rarely do, but its is the summer ... oh well, best in my mind to stick to reds. |
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Oryx Tempel
Registered User
Join date: 8 Nov 2006
Posts: 7,663
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08-18-2007 17:21
It's funny. I was on one end of the spectrum when this discussion started, and now I've swung around to the other side. Feeeerrry interesting. Definitely food for thought! And, damn it, my gf flaked on me, so it's time to go buy my own vino (pinot grigio, here.)
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Conan Godwin
In ur base kilin ur d00ds
Join date: 2 Aug 2006
Posts: 3,676
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08-18-2007 18:38
This is a place to escape your day to day routine of life. to be someone else , To live a different life from what they tell you to lead. leave us alone, To be what what we cant be in RL. Thats what we want from this. It is not cheating. because there is no physical contact People get real Hurrah! Someone with sense at last. _____________________
hateful much? dude, that was low. die. . |
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Tegg Bode
FrootLoop Roo Overlord
Join date: 12 Jan 2007
Posts: 5,707
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08-18-2007 18:42
Sorry, but I don't think that you have to tell your spouses anything and everything you do to avoid being called a cheater. And you folk have said nothing to show me that my opinion is wrong. I guess the line is between thinking of it and doing it? _____________________
Level 38 Builder [Roo Clan]
Free Waterside & Roadside Vehicle Rez Platform, Desire (88, 17, 107) Avatars & Roadside Seaview shops and vendorspace for rent, $2.00/prim/week, Desire (175,48,107) |
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2k Suisei
Registered User
Join date: 9 Nov 2006
Posts: 2,150
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08-18-2007 19:06
It doesn't really matter what you consider to be cheating. If your partner thinks you're cheating then you've got a problem on your hands.
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Suzy Hazlehurst
Offensive Broad
Join date: 14 Oct 2006
Posts: 323
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08-19-2007 03:25
Oh Chardonnay gives me headaches. I prefer Shiraz. Ah, but all Chardonnays are not created equal. Kinda like relationships.  Though I do sometimes cheat on Chardonnay with Shiraz rosé wine. Or stray to a whole range of reds. I guess that makes me a wine slut. _____________________
No children, elderly or animals were harmed during the creation of my second life.
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VooDoo Bamboo
www.voodoodesignsllc.com
Join date: 4 Oct 2006
Posts: 911
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08-19-2007 05:26
Uuuuuummm yeah it counts. Cheating is cheating anyway you slice it.
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VooDoo DESIGNS www.voodoodesignsllc.com
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Ciaran Laval
Mostly Harmless
Join date: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 7,951
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08-19-2007 05:29
Uuuuuummm yeah it counts. Cheating is cheating anyway you slice it. Indeed, if you're hiding it from your partner then it's cheating. |
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Hiro Queso
503less
Join date: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 2,753
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08-19-2007 05:37
What constitutes cheating is just something that two people should come to an understanding on, whether it be real f2f contact, phone contact, or virtual contact. There is no one_size_fits_all answer; both partners have to agree on where the line should be drawn.
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2k Suisei
Registered User
Join date: 9 Nov 2006
Posts: 2,150
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08-19-2007 05:40
Uuuuuummm yeah it counts. Cheating is cheating anyway you slice it. Does virtual murder still count? Oh don't tell me, murder is murder anyway you slice it?  |
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Tegg Bode
FrootLoop Roo Overlord
Join date: 12 Jan 2007
Posts: 5,707
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08-19-2007 06:05
Does virtual murder still count? Oh don't tell me, murder is murder anyway you slice it? Virtual is Virtual, anyway you slice it? . _____________________
Level 38 Builder [Roo Clan]
Free Waterside & Roadside Vehicle Rez Platform, Desire (88, 17, 107) Avatars & Roadside Seaview shops and vendorspace for rent, $2.00/prim/week, Desire (175,48,107) |
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Brenda Connolly
Un United Avatar
Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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08-19-2007 06:12
Ah, but all Chardonnays are not created equal. Kinda like relationships. Though I do sometimes cheat on Chardonnay with Shiraz rosé wine. Or stray to a whole range of reds. I guess that makes me a wine slut. I love a good Cabernet/ Merlot. I'm not big on the whites gernerally, save for maybe a nicely chilled riesling in the summer. I like all my wine chilled, even the reds. _____________________
Don't you ever try to look behind my eyes. You don't want to know what they have seen.
http://brenda-connolly.blogspot.com |
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2k Suisei
Registered User
Join date: 9 Nov 2006
Posts: 2,150
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08-19-2007 06:14
And so Virtual theft seems be ok to you too.................... Virtual is Virtual, anyway you slice it? . /Me virtually kicks you in the ass Go on, report me for assault |
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Brenda Connolly
Un United Avatar
Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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08-19-2007 06:27
/Me virtually kicks you in the ass Go on, report me for assault And I just finished my coffee, thankfully. _____________________
Don't you ever try to look behind my eyes. You don't want to know what they have seen.
http://brenda-connolly.blogspot.com |
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Conan Godwin
In ur base kilin ur d00ds
Join date: 2 Aug 2006
Posts: 3,676
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08-19-2007 06:59
What it boils down to is this;
If virtual cheating doesn't count, then I've wasted a lot of time and money over the last year  _____________________
hateful much? dude, that was low. die. . |
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Suzy Hazlehurst
Offensive Broad
Join date: 14 Oct 2006
Posts: 323
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08-19-2007 09:22
I love a good Cabernet/ Merlot. I'm not big on the whites gernerally, save for maybe a nicely chilled riesling in the summer. I like all my wine chilled, even the reds. How very 2008 of you! Personally I sometimes enjoy a chilled Beaujolais or other light reds like that, but I would drink a Cabernet only slightly below room temperature. I feel the cold freezes away too much of the taste. Of course that is exactly the reason why I prefer the Château Headache my parents insist on serving deeply chilled: I really don't want to taste that infernal stuff too well. _____________________
No children, elderly or animals were harmed during the creation of my second life.
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Conan Godwin
In ur base kilin ur d00ds
Join date: 2 Aug 2006
Posts: 3,676
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08-19-2007 09:25
How very 2008 of you! Personally I sometimes enjoy a chilled Beaujolais or other light reds like that, but I would drink a Cabernet only slightly below room temperature. I feel the cold freezes away too much of the taste. Of course that is exactly the reason why I prefer the Château Headache my parents insist on serving deeply chilled: I really don't want to taste that infernal stuff too well. I'm not so keen on Beaujolais myself. Vins de Pays tend to have more tannin than most. Personally though, a good quality single-orchard Somerset cider will beat a grape-based wine any day of the week. _____________________
hateful much? dude, that was low. die. . |
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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08-19-2007 09:27
/Me virtually kicks you in the ass Go on, report me for assault /me reports you for assult and watches you get hauled off to jail /me says, faking tears; "Bye 2k, you were wrongfully accused!" |
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Cole Riel
Registered User
Join date: 3 May 2006
Posts: 252
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08-19-2007 10:38
And you need to hide it, why? Because your partner is INSECURE about you and your relationship? But of course, this is why some people feel they will be told they are cheating or need to hide it from their partner.
A person who is secure about their relationship and their partner wouldn't think twice about this as this isn't real life. If anything, many rl partners and married couples here play sl and each lives their own life complete with a partner or date they've met in sl with no problems whatsoever. I was with a female and I knew and often saw her rl husband. And he had his own tribe of female slaves and we all did whatever and no one complained because they as a couple had a strong secure relationship as do many others in sl. But it's understandable insecurity can be a real bit*h to some people. |
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Conan Godwin
In ur base kilin ur d00ds
Join date: 2 Aug 2006
Posts: 3,676
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08-19-2007 10:47
And you need to hide it, why? Because your partner is INSECURE about you and your relationship? But of course, this is why some people feel they will be told they are cheating or need to hide it from their partner. A person who is secure about their relationship and their partner wouldn't think twice about this as this isn't real life. If anything, many rl partners and married couples here play sl and each lives their own life complete with a partner or date they've met in sl with no problems whatsoever. I was with a female and I knew and often saw her rl husband. And he had his own tribe of female slaves and we all did whatever and no one complained because they as a couple had a strong secure relationship as do many others in sl. But it's understandable insecurity can be a real bit*h to some people. Cole is right. Just because you feel the need to hide it from them, doesn't mean it's wrong - it just means you think THEY'LL think it;s wrong, which is not the same thing. _____________________
hateful much? dude, that was low. die. . |
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Victorria Paine
Sleepless in Wherever
Join date: 13 Jul 2007
Posts: 1,110
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08-19-2007 10:58
And you need to hide it, why? Because your partner is INSECURE about you and your relationship? But of course, this is why some people feel they will be told they are cheating or need to hide it from their partner. A person who is secure about their relationship and their partner wouldn't think twice about this as this isn't real life. If anything, many rl partners and married couples here play sl and each lives their own life complete with a partner or date they've met in sl with no problems whatsoever. I was with a female and I knew and often saw her rl husband. And he had his own tribe of female slaves and we all did whatever and no one complained because they as a couple had a strong secure relationship as do many others in sl. But it's understandable insecurity can be a real bit*h to some people. Hehe thanks for showing the other side of the coin. However, do not judge those who are less "open" as being insecure -- that's a pejorative word. It's better to simply say that people are all over the map on this, and leave it at that -- at the end of the day it's up to the couples involved to decide what is in play and what is offsides. How very 2008 of you! Personally I sometimes enjoy a chilled Beaujolais or other light reds like that, but I would drink a Cabernet only slightly below room temperature. I feel the cold freezes away too much of the taste. Of course that is exactly the reason why I prefer the Château Headache my parents insist on serving deeply chilled: I really don't want to taste that infernal stuff too well. I can't do chilled reds -- well maybe a beaujolais, but not a merlot or a cab -- I like them more or less room temp. |
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Conan Godwin
In ur base kilin ur d00ds
Join date: 2 Aug 2006
Posts: 3,676
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08-19-2007 11:01
Also, you should never ever be honest about something that could get you into trouble; but at the same time you should always tell your partner anything that she could easily find out some other way
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hateful much? dude, that was low. die. . |
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Oryx Tempel
Registered User
Join date: 8 Nov 2006
Posts: 7,663
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08-19-2007 11:28
I'm not so keen on Beaujolais myself. Vins de Pays tend to have more tannin than most. Personally though, a good quality single-orchard Somerset cider will beat a grape-based wine any day of the week. For reds: zinfandels all the way, baby! I love the spice. Whites are pinot grigios for me; and they've got to be COLD. The zins, just a little chilled. _____________________
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