Does Virtual Cheating Still Count?

Which is fine for you, but remember that for some/many people it's not about virtual sex between pixels, but a relationship between two typists -- the pixels are just a medium for the relationship, not the sum total of it (and for some/many, not the defining part by far).

It still counts, but its WAY easier to get them out of the room if your husband comes home early.

It's only cheating if you're using voice or lay ginko bonds all over the floor to keep the carpet from getting stained.

It's also cheating if you use a bot to make it a threesome.

How do I know? I asked a Linden.

What makes you think you can tell me, and my partners, that we don't know what sort of relationship we're in?

What I want to know is why would you want to go online to have a "virtual" relationship if you were in a RL relationship that was worth anything to you? Quit splitting hairs and take some responsibility for the commitment you're trying to find loopholes around.

Call me "old school" but I get all the sex and rubbin I need from my girlfriend and the day I start thinking about actively hooking up with others behind her back is the day I make myself single so I don't have to be shady about it. I expect the same from her.

This proves to me that humans crave drama and invent it when they don't legitimately have any in their lives.

We are dealing with emotions and feelings in SL. I'm not involved in SL, but i know women pretty well. And most women would consider this cheating because you are sharing your feelings and emotions with another(to a guy this would'nt matter). If you've ever been caught cheating, you would have noticed the women wants to know how intimate you were with the other. Did you talk on the phone for hours(in this case on-line). Does the other know all of things that i know about you? What i'm trying to say is that it is not just physical with women, so this(to a women) is definitely cheating of some sort (emotion cheating).

I don't see your logic.

I'm with four people, and we are drama-free. There's no reason polygamy, or polyamoury, has to create drama.

To correct you; it's cheating to some women. Not all of us view it as cheating.

Well, if you all know about each other and are fine with it, then I guess it's not cheating, is it!

Sounds to me like a guilty conscience or something. Otherwise you'd know that this debate doesn't apply to you and you wouldn't jump in getting defensive!

I think it's cheating, at least in my circumstances it would be. The main reason I came into SL in the first place was because my RL husband started playing last November, and I would sometimes sit and watch. Even when he told some of the women that his wife was sitting right beside him, they still came onto him....and that's while I was sitting there. What might happen when I wasn't? And yes, the answer to that question was something that bothered me. I joined SL in February, and I am partnered with my RL husband on there. I know for a fact that if I became involved with some other set of "pixels", my husband would consider it cheating. I would feel the same if he were to do it. It would definately have serious repercussions in my RL relationship, which is much more important to me than any SL relationship could be. Of course, I first met my husband 7 years ago in a chat room, so we both know that these relationships can, and do, translate to RL in certain circumstances. Considering that he was in England, I was in America, we obviously went to great lengths to translate our "computer" relationship into a RL one, and I think I knew my husband better than any other previous man I was involved with....simply because the only way to share our relationship for the first several months was to TALK! So you can quickly develop a close connection with someone you've never even seen. But others lead separate RL and SL lives, and it works for them, and that's fine. But in my marriage...it would be Cheating, and it's something I have no intention of ever doing. (and he'd better not, either, unless he wants to be outside our RL home looking in)

oof! That was Awful.

It's good to see the majority of Posters here HAVE caught on to the fact it Is Subjective Illustrated by Phrases like "For me at least" It's also Gratifying that people DO comprehend that if one is Sneaking, "Doing it behind his/her back" That it Does constitute a violation of trust and Is therefore Cheating.

These Kinds of relationships, Open and permissive are Not Possible with every Couple, and there is Absolutely Nothing Wrong, or Selfish in a person saying "I expect this relationship to be Exclusive". As always it's What Works, and What you are Psychologicly, and Emotionally prepared to accept that matters, Not someone Elses Judgement on what is right, or Wrong for You and your partner.

At the end of the day, You have to Face your Partner, and Know in your heart that you have done right by them, and be Able to TRUST that they are also Doing right by you according to the Boundries you BOTH have agreed upon.

Angel

Well, some people are in RL relationships where the partners agree that this kind of thing is not harmful to their relationship. Not everyone thinks the same way. While your own ideas on this are legitimate for you, they don't apply to everyone. You'll see numerous posts in this thread alone from people who are in coupled relationships in RL yet who have arrangements with their RL partner about SL relationships. It's not a one-size fits all (as in saying things like "OMG if you are doing this, you must not value your RL relationship". Every RL relationship is different, and that's why in my opinion it's impossible to draw these bright lines and say "YES, for EVERYONE this is cheating and means they do not VALUE their RL partner", because that's a woefully inadequate generalization at best.

My partner knows my password and I know his. How would I be able to borrow things from his inventory when he's not home if I didn't know?

As I've stated before I think sex on SL is cheating. My opinion, of course, but that's my thought. But you raise an interesting point. My avi doesn't look like me and is much more flirty and cocky than me...but he's still me. He lives in a human world pretty similar to the one I live.

What if I chose to be an elf in a mystical land under a totally different persona? Have a total roleplay life with possibly a lover who is an elf or fairy or something. I would probably view that as something else entirely. I'll have to think it over. Any other thoughts out there?

Nuh uh, little boy, that's a bad path to take in a debate. -wags finger at- You see, you didn't say if you were referring to people who were cheating, to people with multiple partners, or to people who have online relationships. I responded as though you were taking a shot at polygamists, and people who have online relationships. Next time, be more clear about who it is you're sucker-punching.

Wow, you are good! Not even Doctor Phil can solve the reasons for infidelity that fast!

Yes, But in Squeeze's defence they Both do it with equal skill, and consideration.

Angel.

ouch!

But there is a difference between polyamoury, in which all participants are aware of each other and have agreed to the rules of their relationship(s), and infidelity, where a partner carries on the pretext of exclusivity while pursuing other relationships and sources of intimacy. Lying and breaking faith are at the crux of cheating, and one can be unfaithful even in a group relationship. It seems to me that there are two conversations going on in this thread, and they're both talking past each other.

It is fairly simple. Sometimes people like to have sex with someone else for a change.
Not sure it really needs to be more complicated than that.

Looks like it.

Not really, Most of the Discussion is Dealing with Distinguishing between the two. A Few people here are Still looking at the Open and Honest relationships, and STILL insisting it's Cheating, But of course NOT offering any elaboration in support of those Claims.

The OP Originally asked simply, Concensus seems to be YES, it Does. it's a violation of trust, and That is at the heart of Infidelity whether it be Physical, or Digital. I'm in a relationship where my affairs on line are Known, and approved of By my spouse. No Cheat there, but IF i was Sneaking about, that WOULD be a Violation of the trust she has Put in me, I recognize that, and i Know it's wrong. I owe her better than that.

Angel.

According to this article masturbation is cheating!!

"Watching pornography, masturbating and now becoming involved in virtual relationships are all activities that take a person's attention away from their primary relationship, one marriage expert told ABC News, but whether it's cheating depends on the degree to which someone does it."

So... let he/she who has never sinned cast the first stone...

Speaking for my self I admit I used the word cheating in this manner. "Cheating" is not the correct term. Having been in open relationships in RL I can't say that they were cheating. From my own experience, and witnessing many friends in polyamorous relationships as well, I can say I believe that are not healthy at all, in RL and SL. Based on that experience I'm extremely uncomfortable that so many of my friends are involved in them in SL. That's their business, though, and I wish them well. Can't help having my own opinions, however.

It does seem we have strayed off course. The original post was regarding "cheating" not polyamory. Regarding cheating....the general consensus seems to be that it is a near unanimous no no.

Oh dear!