Does Virtual Cheating Still Count?

And some of us can't see how monogamy can be justified, what with all the emotional truama it causes. =P

Well said Victorria.
Whether On line relationships amount to Cheating IS entirely up to you, and your Partner (And those on line lovers also). If you are all completely comfortable with it, where is it anyone elses Business to come in and Say "You are Chaeating, and It's Wrong"? Do i advocate having On Line affairs for others? No, I'm in No position one way or the other to do so, it Isn't Up to ME to give YOU permission to do something in Your relationship. IF you find yourself wondering whether you are doing the right thing or Not the Person you NEED to discuss it with will be in the bed beside you Tonight.

If you REALLY want to Know if you are cheating or Not, I pose this One simple yardstick, Are you HIDING what you are doing from your partner? If you Feel you have to, then i think you Know in your heart that your partner would NOT approve, and that means that you ARE cheating.

In the end it's a question Only you and your partner can answer.

Angel.

Monogamy can't be natural, otherwise why aren't there more ugly people around now that I'm engaged?

I respect your anology and applaud you.. however, the statement 'Its only pixels' is technically a response to a webcam..... perhaps a more adpt phrase would be better?

My two Lindens:

Completely subjective.

Each person has their own levels of security and trust--as does each relationship. If you feel like you're crossing a line, you just might be, so consider your other half before undertaking virtual escapades.

Most open couples are pretty clear with each other as to what's acceptable, and what is not. It's a case by case appeal.

Personally, I think it's all about what you're investing in the relationship online--if you are truly invested...then it could be considered "cheating." However, if you have no emotional investment, attachment, or interest, you are in a safer territory.

The best way is to talk to your other half, ask them...that's always the best way to feel out the situation. Be open and honest. Sometimes you have to ask...other times you KNOW what you're doing is wrong. Othertimes, your partner or lover is so comfortable, they will ask to join in on the fun!

I guess how I feel is that if my significant other is on SL looking for sex instead of looking for it from me, there's a strange issue there....I mean what am I just that disgusting? *I can answer no I'm not disgusting but it makes me feel bad about myself and question myself and our relationship, and to me that is not healthy.

I suppose if you talk it out before hand, and you both don't mind, that's fine. I just don't understand why you can not be yourself with your partner. Isn't that what finding a partner is partly about? I don't mean to offend anyone so please don't take it that way, please.

-Sae

So from I read in this thread:
If a blue box is agreed by couples that its a red box, then the box must be red.

Cheating on your partner includes entertaining the idea of having an affair. If you think about it, your already cheating them of what your spouse deserves.

I agree that it is not "just pixels". I mean for an escort that may be the case, but for someone who develops an SL "relationship", it's a relationship between the two typists, it isn't a relationship between pixellated avatars. The pixels are a medium for a relationship between two typists.



For some couples (again, given previous knowledge and consent), allowing one partner (or both) to have a "relationship" in SL that is limited to SL in the way some other posters here have described can be helpful in removing certain pressures from the RL relationship. It gets very philosophical at this point, and that's where everyone has her (or his) own perspective. Some people see that as a threat to the RL relationship, or as an indicator that the relationship has "issues", whereas others see it as a recognition that any relationship can only inherently fulfill so many needs and no more, and than an "additional" SL relationship is a way to relieve some of those pressures on the main RL relationship in a way that is, relatively speaking, non-threatening to RL, provided that boundaries are strictly observed. It's a very personalized thing -- coming in here and implying that your own views on the matter are more or less universal is unhelpful to say the least.

I shout a lot of different things at that time, but never Bingo! LOL

My (RL) husband and I both play SL. He's my in-world partner but... honestly? Our avatars don't spend much time together in SL. Because when we're playing at the same time, we're physically sitting next to each other and talking, sending our avatars to different places. My husband's avatar is kind of a slut, haha, but it doesn't worry me at all because he leaves his RL emotions at the door and treats virtual sex as a roleplaying game. He and I both know that he is not his avatar. And I am not my avatar- I'm nowhere near as feathery in RL. I know not everybody treats their avatar as a character separate from their Self, but it works for us.

So, no, my husband and I do not consider virtual sex to be cheating.

Because we recognize a difference between virtual sex between pixels on a screen, and feelings of love and attachment for a physical person.

I told people this would happen when they started coming down on Religion.

You think YOU'RE freaked out!!??

My mom plays BRIDGE!

They play Bingo in Gor?

In your theory here, this means that EVERY time you fantisize...you're cheating. Fantasy is entertaining the idea of cheating...in a fantasy. And we all know, that we ALL fantasize about sexual relations with others. It's only human. It's best in life to understand that early on...

The key is to love yourself and trust your partner. If you can't do either of those things...you're in trouble.

Maybe I'm not being clear...or maybe I misunderstood you.

Yes, but they call it "Uuugh"

Least saying UUUgh during sex is better than "Bingo!"

I think.

A question to anyone. Does your RL partner know the password to your account(s)? Would you trust them enough?

My RL partner doesnt even know I have a SL account much less play SL.

of course in my opinion I am cheating online.


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As an academic thought - Newsweek did a study on this topic a couple years ago and found that about 25% of married women who chat online are engaged in some sort of cyber/romantic relationship outside their marriage.

I do not know if those numbers are still accurate (or even how good the study was) but it is an interesting situation, if true.

Knowing Newsweek, they probably weren't accurate then either.

Not sure anyone is any more - the concept of a press that tries to remain neutral on issues when they are working seems to have gone the way of the Dodo.

It's not even Nuetrality. They are just plain wrong too often.

I think everyone gets 90% of their news from Reuters nowadays anyhow.

lol.

The same stories on every news service.

DELETED INCASE MY PARTNER READ THIS

I was just going to quote you too..

In reply to your deleted post...it shows that it's all subjective. Some people don't mind their partners cybering...heck, some people join in. On the flip side, some people don't even like extended eye contact with a stranger.

It's not that hard to understand your partners comfort levels--and if you are unsure of them, use your instinct or gut feeling--it's usually pretty spot on.

He doesn't have to know the password; I keep it saved on my log-in screen.