Lonely secondlifer

I pick up most of my male friends in orgy rooms without even doing a thing. Have to sift a fair bit of silt to find the gems but they're there.

Dance venues also but I find they're often a lot more intense at such places.

ROFL

One of my absolute best SL friends (Amara - you know him also), I met at one of the free sex / orgy spots way back when I was first seeing what those places were like. We did nothing there except talk, though we have had moments of extreme closeness since then.

Hey what's so funny?!!! It's true. I'm told by lots of guys that my profile makes them laugh though I have no idea why either.

llDetatchFromAvatar(blonde hair);
llAttachToAvatar(dark hair);

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Nope still can't work it out...

Not read your profile but get the gist from the other posts here.
I met my partner in a forum. Text only with no ground rules, no pre-judgements, no conditions. Eyes open, open book, we didn't rush at it, we merely co-existed in the group. We grew an affinity for each other, the group itself jelled, we met. The foundation was laid in the fact we weren't consciously trying to search for each other. I've heard this work for so many others too. People want to meet people, not an instruction manual.

SL is just not ideal for 'real relationships'. They can, sometimes, just sometimes work.

In any of my guises I can be approached by others in perhaps some of the most lugubrious sims. Maybe an opening question gets a definite negative answer but heck, there's still possibly just another tourist behind that avatar. Time and again I have stayed and chatted and end up enjoying the encounter.

Profiles are ok for a basic guide but make it a workshop manual and few will stay to read to the end.

To be honest, I don't think SL is the place to come specifically looking for deep personal relationships. You might find them, they do happen, but perhaps something more RL-related is more suitable for the purpose, especially if you're looking for a relationship that spreads into RL.

In the same way, people come to SL expecting to make a fortune in RL terms - again a few people have done that but most people with that ambition will soon be disappointed!

LOL ok I dont feel so bad. But i just proves you can find the proverbial "Diamond In The Rough" as far as friends go anyway, just about anywhere (The wifey might get upset with anything more... >.<. I guess it helps Im an excellent tipper..LOL

I suspect that the OP's past posts here in the forum amply corroborate the aggressive attitude conveyed by the SL profile.

I fear the OP avatar's character is amply defined. I suggest starting over with an alt, if a kind of friendship is really desired.

TRUTH! \(^_^)/

"If ever you find that everyone is against you; it's not them." (^_^)

Really, I should give the OP half my friends so we can split shifts just to keep up. (=_=)

What are you _doing_ to meet people? If it's just club-hopping and hoping to be approached, you need to make a bit more effort. (o.o)

>> Randomly comment on the interesting part of the interesting people you see.

>> If they have a name you find funny or nice, let them know... Trust me, we love the attention. (^_^)

>> Read their profile, check out each tab and the groups they're in. Comment on what you have in common. (^_^)

>> If you can't think of anything... Just walk around the room and say "hi" to each and every person. Sure, you're spamming chat, but the person charmed by it may have been interested in meeting you already. You just did the ice-breaker. (^_^)

>> Keep something on you as a conversation piece or something to remember you by. My own collection of accessories include really cheap looking freebie kitty ears, a riveted and heavily spiked collar, a giant steel claw on my right arm, a creepy left eye, I'm typically underdressed, and have a silly or controversial group tag. They're all attention getters and have served me well even in the coldest of crowds. (^_^)

>> And, yeah, work on that profile.... WOW! (o.o)

(^_^)y

Ok I read your profile and yes... If you want advice here's my 2 cents:

First of all, you look very pretty! Stunning photo! So my guess is that it's not your appearance that stop men from taking contact.

You say that you don't want to have a RL relationship, and that you don't do webcam or voice. So why do you have A/S/L and a photo under first life? That is a magnet to the wrong kind of men... those who care about A/S/L are most likely to ask for webcam before 5 min has passed. I suggest that you put in timezone and/or country, and just say "I don't want to mix RL and SL". No photo.

Your picks....delete the text. Just write something about how you value honesty, and that you want to meet a guy who isn't a player. Then some nice things about what you would like to do. Quotes is good, but some more optimistic ones could be better. If you like a club or a shop, make a pick so people see what you interests are.

Same with the first page... tone it down, write something sweet and neutral.

I believe the term "player" is so synomously woven in with the word "single". To the point that it is forgotten what each of those terms actually mean. I date several men in sl and I tell a guy upfront, I am not a player but I am single and so I date. That is what single people do. When I position it to them like that, they are like yeah that is true.

But, for some of the people I have met inworld and read about in threads such as this, they believe there is immediate attachment or committment upon first or second meeting and expect dating others to cease almost immediately. Until a decision is made to date each other exclusively, one is free to see who and how many they choose. Perhaps the OP did not clearly hear what the guy(s) was telling her, hence she may have felt she was being "played". I'm at work, so I can't sign on to read her profile. But, from what I have read in this thread it must be a do-see. OP your profile is the gateway to you. Most believe (I do) that their avie is an extension of their rl selves. If you are that way, then you must be very demanding in rl and that is being carried over in sl. Or, you are carrying baggage from a previous sl relationship which will only weigh down any future sl relationship. Hun, LET IT GO. Learn to relax, relate and release. I have had painful breakups but I rechannel that hurt and negativity into something new.

Like a song from the group Cameo (for those how don't know, the group that sang Word UP) SINGLE PEOPLE CLAP YOUR HANDS!!!!

/me claps her hands.

We've gotten off-topic from her original question, although there have been many wonderfully insightful comments and suggestions I pray she takes to heart.

The question I have for the OP is why are old souls (2006 and earlier?) the ones to meet? What makes them better/more interesting/more likely to start up a relationship? Whenever I see someone fresh off the bus, I always say "happy birthday and welcome" and have met many lovely people (men included) that way.

One reason she may not be finding the oldies but goodies is that they aren't around anymore. LL can't retain customers worth poop. I thought I read that only 10% of the people who try SL, stick with it.

Yep, took a quick peek at your profile and your profile paints you as a judgmental drama magnet. One breath says you get along with most everyone while the next few talk of stupid people and the like.

Were I you, I would save all such comments in your head and weed people out as you meet them. If I were standing in a place board, clicked your profile and read it I would not approach you with a Hello because you seem on the edge of having a meltdown if you don't like the convo.

No offense intended.. I am just trying to answer your question on what it could be that is going on.

Good luck.

I think she is just having fun with all of your responses to her cyclical lonely girl posts. It seems to work every time.

Starling, you joined the forums in July 2007.. almost a year ago.

in August of 2007 you were already experienced with the sex animations, so you must have been using them.
/142/bc/202724/2.html#post1622020

in September of 2007, you went asked for places/ways to meet new people:
/327/45/213693/1.html#post1698707

then you asked again in October 2007
/327/2f/218104/1.html#post1725568

are you a child avatar looking for a partnership and love and sex?
http://forums.secondlife.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=1767562

you worked in a club, so surely you met some people to partner with and have sex with and love there
/327/ef/234318/1.html#post1828648

you certainly must know your way around a poseball
/327/ef/234318/4.html#post1829118

in February of 2008, i guess you forgot how to find guys to hook up with
/327/51/243575/1.html#post1887306

but then we see the advice we gave must have worked, but pretty soon you were having SL sex again, hopefully not as a child avatar
/327/44/251194/2.html#post1936502

and now, here you are again asking for the same advice.
/327/98/267067/1.html#post2048771

your inworld message to people is:

and

and

then you show us your supposed RL picture

and your picks include child clubs, sex clubs, and RP clubs.

AND finally.... after reading every single on of yor posts here in these forums
/invalid_link.html
i see that most of them are hostile and bitter and really kurt and rude.

so, my question to you is.... what do you really want? because if it's love, your approach needs some work. you are your own worst enemy. maybe you can't make and keep friends because you are troubled and angry and mean. a little self reflection and evaluation might be of some help. i put a lot of time into this reply, obvisouly. i hope you will rethink your attitude and help yourself. no one is going to do it for you.

or stay lonely. that seems to work for you too. i think you must like it.

Don't yu just hate thaose guys? Always hitting on any skirt theat walks by ....

I’ve just skimmed this thread but one thing that concerns me is this bias towards the age of the account. If you are checking profiles and avoiding anyone with a new account you may be missing something. First newbies are a blast. Get the right one who is eager to listen and learn and you may well be on your way to the romance you seek. And keep in mind there are many alts out there. And some with experienced and well established SLrs on the other end of the keyboard. So stop limiting your search criteria.

lol Brann, good thing I wasn't drinking anything...

I did read her profile in Feb. thread... I'd forgotten how bad it was.

OP that has to be changed.

I just read the posting from 3ring and now I believe OP is just jerking our chain. I agree with 3ring's closing statement. I actually was feeling bad for OP. If any of the "oldies" encountered her then I can see why they may have created an alt, just to get away from her. Her words oozes of negativity, prejudice and any other description you like to add.

Such negativity from one in their 20's or so they say. Quit asking the different versions of the same question. Either you look inward and do some self evaluating or even better leave the game if your sl experience is not what you hope for. No one can create the experience only YOU can. Since you ask different versions of the same question, I'm sure BY NOW you know the different versions of the same answer.

One thing I have found is how quickly some forget they were a noob. You been in sl close to a year if not a year. Perhaps you need to revisit memory lane.

I enjoy newbies, newbie men are quite conversational and open. They haven't been tainted by some bad sl experience. Yes, a few come on strong but a seasoned sl player can handle that. Perhaps it is attitudes such hers along with sl lag and what not contributes to the exodus of older more established citizens (men). For me the average guy I date has been in sl for 1 1/2 years. Perhaps some deodorant on that bad karma that is being emittted is in order.

I can say, I once saw the OP at a party (can't remember if it was a club or a beach), anyway, I remember because I thought she was beautiful, but I always check the profiles before sending IMs or chatting, just in case they don't speak the language or they are partnered....and I did not approach her because of the negative feel I got. But she is gorgeous. Now that I am separating from my partner, if I saw her again and the profile had changed somewhat, I would certainly talk to her, take her to dance, because she is beautiful...but after seeing all she wrote here, I wonder if we're in front of 1 person or more?

You look so lovely, yet sound so angry. I think anyone would be scared to talk to you. You have to reach out in order for someone to reach out for you.

Sounds like you have had a few tough times here. I'm sorry about that.

Why not try just putting positive things in your profile?

I'm not sure the OP is open to taking all the good advice offered anyway. Seems a lot of this, including about rethinking the impact of the very harsh profile comments, has all been offered previously and not been heeded.

Starling, if you're being serious - I know only too well how badly you can get hurt in SL after someone you began to trust lets you down, but at some point you do have to put the bitter feelings aside and not use that as a barrier against everyone else, or yes, you will be left feeling lonely.

My 2p's worth: Just chat to people at the locations you visit. It's as simple as that. Sooner or later you will find someone you click with who is interested in similar things to you. Just let friendships grow. Without even trying, you can find a closer relationship develops. There -are- reliable friends and partners to be found here and I hope you find what and who you're looking for. Good luck, but do rethink that profile - atm it's quite frankly unpleasant and intimidating.

--
Aes

Having read what was quoted from it earlier, I don't agree that it should be changed. If that's how she really feels, it serves as a proper warning to anyone thinking of approaching her. Much better to weed that type out in advance than have them spring it on you out of the blue...