Direction, percieved unfairness, and the mainstream

I didn't directly. You said I was being selfish, which I conceded, and I didn't answer your big question because I don't know the answer myself, yet.

And Argent, I've been trying for years but I'm crossing my fingers I was trying the wrong thing.

Good luck!

yes, you are selfish. glad you realize.

and the answer to my question is: QUIT BEING SELFISH!

problem resolved.

OK 3- hang back a sec please- hoping for a little break thru here...

The problem is, I would consider waiting to be invited to do what I want to do to be unselfish because it means I will not bother anyone by doing it..

.. Or is it selfish because it is demanding they pay attention to me?

omg this is becoming mental masochism

being a martyr does not make you special. it makes you lonely.

playing headgames and twisting words to continue an obvious attention-getting debate does not make your special, it makes you appear desperate. but i will compliment your unique ability to take a clear and concise comment and twist it so sordidly that a persons eyes nearly go cross-eyed. that is some talent you have there.

but i digress- i was very clear. i will say it again, with step by step instructions on HOW TO GET INVITED WITHOUT ASKING (aka, having friends).

are you ready for Phase I?

ok. do this. every time you reply (or speak) to someone, include one compliment to them. you may begin with your reply to me.

we'll work on complimenting them and NOT saying anything about you in Unselfishizing Yumi Part II.

Oh 3Ring......it seems pointless now........

ignoring it would be very telling, now wouldn't it?

well Yumi, are you going to try to BE friends with me?

Yumi offered me Friend last night and I accepted- I was on from 6 pm my time til about midnight and did not hear from her again. I was free the whole time til a around 11 then signed off around midnight. Even with my hours I have been known to be social with folks in Europe and Asia so I am not sure why Yumi did not have time for me. Perhaps tonight is different however at this point I cannot say whether I will be available my self.

Good advice.

Over the years I've found that I come across more hostile in text than I do in RL, which has always been upsetting to me. To fix it, I try to read back what I type and think how I'd feel if it was said to me.

In game, I try to put smileys and friendly emotes into that text which by itself is just emotionally neutral. Sometimes when people do that its annoying - looks like they're trying to be cute. But I've started thinking that its really just me (and them) trying to convey that I'm feeling friendly and inviting, even if the words sound blank. :|

Funny thing is, it seems to be working.

Especially when I lag hard and take minutes to get back to someone, rather than feeling ignored, by the time my smiley hello or sorry I was away gets through, they return with something pleasant and a connection begins (plus they get patient about my lag once aware of it).

Sure, I just can't always get away with posting from work. And I had to look you up first to know what to complement you about, but I can now safely say that I really like your gazebos.

Amaranthim - you recieved my friend request while I was offline (I sent it earlier) and I just wasn't around that evening, is all. Although, if you do want to meet, I'd much appreciate it if you would send me an offline IM when you're available because I'll likely see it if I'm at my PC; I won't normally be around in SL just waiting for people to log in (since all the time it's running I can hear my fan slowly dying..)

And, sorry to bring back an old point, but I think I have to mention this.



.. because it suggests there's been a misunderstanding all along. I'm not saying that SL needs to have these features added. I'm saying that I believe that a number of people i SL effectively _do_ experience these features anyway, just as a result of bumping into the right people at the right time; and that the people who do experience this tend to be those who do well, or succeed. SL might not be designed to be WoW, but for a small number of people, it turns out to be. Here's an example:



Now, if that isn't a description of a series of incremental small rewards motivating achievement, then.. well, what is it a description of?

Okies then Yumi- i will IM you this evening

I'm probably not going to be around this evening either. It's Friday night, you know

i am also to be out of town as of first thing tomorrow morning, but i'll watch for an IM inworld from you Yumi (when i log in), and will respond in kind. you get to start, as part of the Unselfishizing Yumi criteria.

and thanks for the complement. that was very kind of you to say.

Alright Yumi- have a great weekend then and we can try another time

Reviving this to report that I spent a fun half hour or so might be more but RL intruded- with Yumi Saturday. We didn't get to the building part so much but I think what she is grasping more for aside from her issue which we are trying to break her of- from a build perspective, s the process.. the way we as builders think and the direction the building takes, the steps and order. This is not of course, something one teaches but it is a natural process of each individual's style. For example, I showed her the new skybox I made and one of her questions was when did i decide I wanted curtains on the inside- frankly, I am not 'organized' when making stuff- it just sort of happens. Now in this particular build I had the continued input of the person for whom it was meant so of course I had guidance towards the outcome. But even so, I would probably try different textures and treatments until the right thing just clicked.

All in all, it went nicely with Yumi and I hope she will come back so we can do some more stuff and eventually actually build.

If Yumi is reading this I would like to point out to her that she should not get her hopes up if she enjoyed her time with Amaranthim and found her inspirational and comforting company.

Pep (Amaranthim is extraordinarily exceptionally nice by any standards and others, even from the Undying Thread - or perhaps especially - pale by comparison)