Direction, percieved unfairness, and the mainstream

OK...well I thought that I saw one of the women say that she asked you a while back in that other thread....maybe that was a month ago?....and you've not been to see her yet. And it appeared that another one of those women got a little miffed with you and the invitation she sent....although she is generally very nice. I must have misunderstood.

It sounds as though you want your "light bulb moments" immediately. There are about 50 in this thread that were overlooked. Here is one that is staring you in the face. Immediate Gratification. Very little effort on your part.

But if you would allow me to make yet another suggestion.... "IF" you get to visit with these women...and that's a big IF....you might want to keep your lips sealed about all your problems....ask them how their day is going....engage in some chit chat that does not suck the life out of them, by countering every one of their suggestions with a "why me, poor me" statement....be considerate of their time....and be extremely gracious for ANY time they took with you.....even if you don't get your "light bulb moment" for the 400th time.

Do you mean eku Zhong? I did see her, but I was only online at the same time as her once.

And Amaranthim apparantly thought I had her on ignore or mute even though I didn't, which is surely just an SL glitch.

I haven't met Eku....but would assume that she is very nice....if she made it through one of these threads....and still sent an Invite.

I see that there will be some more work to do....and some more issues to discuss.....in order to make it to the point of returning an invite politely and clicking a TP button.

Is there anyone else left to help with this? My message is not clear....must be an SL Glitch.

You say no one ever cared. You were a Mentor. I bet the new people you mentored cared. SL can be a daunting place to figure out. The thing with mentoring is, you may never know how much you meant to someone. For a successful mentor, that has to be ok. That you don't get feedback and it's mostly thankless, but you do it just cause you enjoy helping a new person understand basic stuff.

You know, Yumi, although it's hard, sometimes you have to stop defending and trying to justify actions/behaviors that have become indefensible. And you have to say, ok you know what? I am dead wrong here and I need to change my thought process and try to be happier. If I am a nice person to be around then maybe people will want to be around me. It really does come back to you, Yumi. Every time. I don't know what time zone you're in, and if maybe that's causing some of your problems about no one being around when you're inworld.

Oh, I actually quite like mentoring, and I did get some very positive feedback from people (there's even a house named after me that somebody built after I mentored them! ). But the thing is, that I wasn't getting to live the dream _I_ wanted. I was getting to serve other people. Now I don't in particular have anything against that, but when other people who have done less _are_ getting what I wanted then naturally I start to complain. I mean, I did that, but all I've gotten to be is this kind of rejected person on the forums who's talked to like a child. Yet the demands I'm making are no more than others have got, and if I'm focusing on myself, then.. well, it's because I focused outside myself for a year or more in SL and just became a doormat, and then as soon as I started trying to insist on what I wanted, I was pushed out.

How about trying something here. Go back up to this post....edit and remove everything after the smiley face. See what happens.

Or it can happen by assisting those who have been held back by often external factors.

Your statement above is less factual than it is political, much as is my followup to it.

LOL, cool, I'd LOVE to have somebody name something after me. Since no one has, I name my land parcels after myself, hey, it's a poor duck that doesn't talk up his own pond, as they say. Anyway, ok see we are into different things, I am 'into' service, or serving other people as you call it. I don't feel doormattish at all. But that's me. But you need something else, you don't get satisfaction from that. Where you say the demands you're making are no more than others have got, how do you think they've gotten what you want? Obviously not this way that you're trying to do it, cause surely you can see this isn't working. At least it isn't working here. I hope you do actually manage to hook up with some of the people who are trying to contact you inworld (I know of at least 2, personally) and that you pull yourself up out of this funk you've gotten into.

Neither do I. SL is not technically capable of letting me do that, yet. It may never be. Does that mean I decided if I couldn't get exactly what I wanted, I'd go back to SPR and text? No, I found other things that it could do.

* Maybe you can't.

* Maybe you can, but you're looking, and haven't found it yet.

* Maybe you can, but you're not looking.

Which is it?

By holdong back others?

Even with assistance, you can't guarantee success. You can increase the odds of success, but there is still always a chance of failure. Unless you rig the game.

Well, I mean, don't confuse it. I _hope_ that the things I want to do would be valuable to other people too - they're not purely griefing things after all! The doormat comes from just doing what they want without care to what my opinion about it is.



As I mentioned - usually by bumping into the right person at the right time, so that they got a significant opportunity to do something that'd only work as random chance.

Laughable rancid obturation? An advanced criminal enchants mad charlatan? Damnation, dowdyish, generous magicians? Elite steals dream by NC tip call?

Right. But this is a case of things which I know it _can_ do, but which people won't accept from me.

Not like a child. A level of narcissism and whininess is generally accepted in children. You are presumably a needy adult whining that the accomplishments of others are somehow unfair to YOU. A brief scan of your old posts suggests that you have been so for at least a couple of years now - as in:
/327/ca/185970/1.html
in which you complain that someone else asked for assistance and got it, and you DIDN'T get assistance when you DIDN'T ask for it. That appears to be a recurring theme...people should know to volunteer specific help or validation or whatever the hell it is you want, and if they don't you've been rejected. That particular blast from the past suggests that this applies even if those people have never met you.

"People who have done less" are NOT getting what you wanted. There is nothing "less" that anyone could possibly do.

I am not going to blow my own trumpet too aggressively, but Treasure Ballinger's post was not incorrect.

And as far "not asking" - why would anyone NOT want all the help that was freely available?

Edit: Also, I don't think "other people's accomplishments" are unfair to me. I think SL's environment delivery system, which aided those other people in making those acomplishments, is unfair to many people, myself included.

You want Linden Labs to change SL so you can play at getting the social feedback you want without actually having to learn how to sell yourself and your plan to other people. That is a technical limitation in SL.

Sure, but the only reason that becomes an issue is because people wouldn't accept it from me regardless.

OMG Yumi.......lol.

What!?

Have you ever replied to someone WITHOUT a counter? Just ONCE?

Can you try it for 3 posts? Just 3?

I just could not believe that you said 'that'. That you still said 'people would not accept it from me, regardless'. After all these pages and pages of discussion, that you still said, feel, and believe that. I honestly don't know what to say. I'm speechless and that's a big deal for me, rarely happens. If after all this, you can still say that, then I am just......I don't what else to say.

What?

Nobody has ever accepted me role-playing. Nobody has ever accepted me doing performances. Nobody has ever accepted me doing anything magical. They have accepted me only with helping ne folks and scripting general gadgets. Now I don't mind doing either of those, but I don't want to do nothing BUT those.

...

Can't see you're that not speaking in facts but your own politics eh?

Oh well...

I suppose I am crossing you with Chris. But this is a common problem - people present their perception as fact and the opposing perception as error, when both are really socio-political and rooted in circumstance. Thought presenting the opposing view might illustrate that, but I guess not.

You mean "Treasure Island" wasn't named after you?

Yumi: there are other things you can do. You don't get to have your big dream. OK. We get that. We've tried to help you learn how to enroll people in the possibilities of your dream, whatever it is, but let's just say for whatever reason it can't happen. Someone's gone around with brown envelopes and bribed everyone in SL to give your dream to someone else. Whatever. That doesn't mean SL isn't for you, that just means you can't get to be a ... whatever it is ... a teddy-neko geisha tiny, I don't know. Most people will move on, try something else. They don't just have one dream. Why haven't you moved on?

* Maybe you can't.

* Maybe you can, but you're looking, and haven't found it yet.

* Maybe you can, but you're not looking.

Which is it?

Yumi,

I also looked you up in world last night. I was very surprised to find that you were the creator of the almost famous Bijo Cam. I remember wanting one very badly at one point but at the time it was out of my price range. You had it mentioned glowingly several times in threads. So you cannot honestly say you have NEVER had positive feed back and success. I wish you would take all the NEVER and ALWAYS talk out of your vocabulary.

It would be so much more positive if you said things like, "Looking back I wish I had a different type of success in SL. I want to change my path and feel like I need help with X,Y, and Z.. is there anyone willing to mentor me or give me some clues?"

Please quit negating the positive things you have done. So, you feel like different people got more encouragement then you? You feel like your luck has been bad? So what? What will worrying about it do? Just keep you where you are.

You are more capable then you are letting yourself be. I know you will now proceed to argue with me, so I am again resolved not to go around here on the forums with you anymore. Your welcome to contact me in world. I should be around a good amount of time this weekend as my RL will be out of town.