Direction, percieved unfairness, and the mainstream

You can deny my posts all you like but that does not make them untrue. This is the blockage we talk about.

Sure you may learn things but you are not learning what you want otherwise you would be off doing it instead of engaging in this pointlessness here.

The blockage I'm talking about is that everyone is prepared to post up a storm, but not to do that whole "asking about, taking an interest, etc." thing.

Let's recap: You have complained that no one gave you advice about adjusting prims, av appearance, and promoting a build. The basic information and means to find more was provided. You then said that wasn't the point, and the problem was that people were ignoring you. As we are on page 18 of this journey, the kindest thing I can say it that is obviously wrong. In addition, Amaranthim and I offered to help you. You then continued to complain that no one is giving you the answers that you need. So I asked exactly what you wanted, and you give me this:


From this opaque answer, I assume you are looking for motivation and inspiration. These aren't things that can be given to you - an idea so obvious I feel awkward typing it. At this point, what you really seem to want is more forum attention, more attempts to help that you will find imperfect, and more time to complain that SL and people in SL are unfair. I hope you are at least enjoying this all, as I don't see anything productive coming from it.

You only see what you want to see and ignore the rest.

BTW I have to say Yumi, that your stance seems very adversarial towards those who have poured a lot of time and effort into attempting to help you.

Because often beyond a certain point it stops helping me. I once contacted someone in-world to complain that I didn't like my av. She started going on about how it didn't matter, that it wasn't too bad, that I shouldn't worry about it anyway, and that I shouldn't compare myself to others. Only after 4 hours, when my time for SL for the night was used up, did she actually go "you mean you just wanted help with your avatar?" and offer a TP. Of course, I had to refuse, because of the time.

Now try 2 years.

The only way to motivate yourself is to inspire the people around you. Make grand plans that you are not sure you're quite able to complete, and commit to the people around you that you ARE going to accomplish these things. Enroll them in making you accomplish them. That doesn't mean you buttonhole them until they go "yeh, I'm on board", that means you actually inspire them in the possibilities, FOR THEM, if you accomplish it.

Once you do that you WILL be motivated.

Because you haven't enrolled us in what you want to do.

You won't even tell us what you want to do.

How are you going to enroll us in the possibilities of your vision if you can't tell us what your vision is?

Because I don't think you'd be interested in it, and although there might be some who would be, they aren't open to communication at all or are hostile. Therefore, I have to try and "enroll" you via something other than my vision.

You keep repeating the same stories too, that was a clear case of miscommunication and if you, as you put it, "contacted someone to complain about your av" I am not surprised that happened.
Generally though, Your problems are not about the communications you are getting, they are about your skewed viewpoint of how things ought to be for you and how people ought to be around you.

But consider what would be possible for you if you were able to enroll us in your vision. You'd be inspired and motivated, you'd find a whole new lease on Second Life. You might even find yourself one of the movers and shakers. You can be Tiger Woods.

If you don't think your vision is good enough for that, then imagine something bigger. Look, if you could get anything you want out of Second Life, as it is, what would that be? Your own estate? Your own group with 3000 members? A Starax sculpture? A custom avatar? What kind of vision would get you that? Think of something, and tell us what it is, tell us your most grandiose plans. I promise that no matter what it is I won't laugh or make fun of it.

You might, however, post an image that displays that idea in conjuction with a ferret.

Ferrets are serious business.

And what is the "unskewed" viewpoint you offer? That I should be a dust mote on the ground, never wishing for anything more, and that noone else should care if I go under a bus?

You have already been given this information, if you choose to not read it or ignore it then I cannot help you further.
Nope, I never said nor meant any of those things you say. You sound like you are getting upset and yet you brought this to the forums, what did you expect after the nth time on this particular merry-go-round? I told you and others told you that a public forum is not the place to bring this over and over again, it is pointless.
The answers that are here are for someone who would take notice of them and act upon them, you are not that person (maybe yet, maybe never, who can say?), hence my advice about getting RL help. My advice was not given for any other purpose than to help you. Others have offered the same advice, do you think we tell you this to upset or hurt you? If you do then you may be more lost than you know.

EDIT: This is perpetuating in part because you think you know better than than the advice given you and so you do not act. That is your choice of course but do you really expect the message to change?

Gabriele, it sounds like that to me. Everything is my fault, I have to settle for everything, I can't expect anything from anyone and if others seem to have then maybe they're just better.

You should let me bring you to Gor so you can get a new family and a level of attention you have never experienced before.

You will not be ignored.

Gor??

I'd have to bring my cow launcher..

Nope never said any of that that either, nor have I meant that either. You are hearing only the negatives in what people, in particular me, are saying.

I will say this however, nobody can solve your problems for you.
Even a counsellor would only be able to help guide you to being able to solve the problems yourself.

Requiring pretty much everything else to change except you, or before you are willing to, *is* expecting too much and should be your clue that you need to change something instead.

All of this is why this forum is not to place to resolve this, obviously you cannot resolve it in SL either. You seem to think that there is something wrong with seeking help and guidance in RL. That is not so. Many people have problems that they are unable to solve due to blockages and talk to someone who is skilled in breaking down blockages in order to resolve it.

Yumi, I read your profile inworld tonight. You have been a busy, productive person in your time in SL, you are a mentor! A scripter! A content creator! What happened to cause you to lose your way?

This article seems somewhat relevant:

http://rpgvault.ign.com/articles/986/986323p1.html#

The features Yumi seems to be asking for look similar to the features of "addiction based" games.

On my way home from work last night I was talking with a friend about this thread and told that very story

This. This is true for ALL people.

YOUR life is what YOU make of it. and this is what YOU have decided to make of YOUR life. it sounds like YOU are not enjoying it. maybe YOU should try a new approach.

i can't believe i read through this thread.

and since i'm already being blunt, Yumi, i have to tell you.... i think you are one of the most selfish people i've come across in SL.

every post you ever make is about you you you and what can we give you. what YOU need, and what YOU want, and what YOU don't have. you don't give anything back, and you never once indicate the desire to be mutual. or to offer yourself in return. it's always just a needy, whining 2-year old mentality of YOUR desires. you show no empathy or ability to put yourself in anyone else's shoes, nor even the slightest hint that you'd out yourself out in that way.

friendship is a 2-way street. it TAKES a friend to BE a friend. it's a LOT of effort to keep things running smoothly, because afterall, no two people thing alike and there WILL be times of disagreement and disapporval. that is when you must bend. yet you show no flexibility. all this pussyfooting around to not hurt your feelings, and brushing the truth under the rug so as not to affect you further. that's B.S.

and i'll give you a little advice, that secret magical advice you've been begging for. it's pretty simple really. just reply to people. compliment them. expect NOTHING in return. be persistent in your objective to boost THEIR ego. suddenly, you will be liked and desired as a friend and things will turn around. but it begins with you and YOUR efforts.

so i have just one question for you:
what's in it for me?

Not only is nothing in it for you.....but it is going to suck the life out of you.....and take from you. So not only are you not getting anything....but you're going to lose something in addition.

I don't mind having friends who never give....maybe the universe sent them to me for a reason....to learn or to help them.....but when I run across someone who not only does not give back.....but in addition, takes away any positive energy.....I'm outta there.

Any mentally healthy person is going to run.....and those are the people she needs to hang out with.

Yumi....you had offers from 3 women I've met....who have a lot going for them....great RL attitudes....healthy SL attitudes.....they build....they run successful businesses....they juggle RL with SL....and they are NICE. Whenever I have communicated with them....I've walked away with something good. I've watched them in each thread offer to hang out with you. It appears that you have declined each time. They are busy women....offering up their precious time for you.

I can't speak for them....but if it were me....and I was in a nice mood to help someone....even though all indications led me to believe that it was not going to be fun at all....I would muddle through it somehow.

But I wouldn't send out the offer over and over again....to have it declined. I mustered up the energy to suffer through it....if I offered to Give (most likely at a penalty)....you damn well better not diss me for that....that would be insulting and rude.

You've had several shots. You blew it. Over and over again.

Well, that's exaclty it - in spite of all that, I never got to do what I actualy wanted. No-one ever cared. Almost all the L$ I earned went into paying tier on empty land. So yes, I probably do sound selfish now, but that's because of the history. I mean, I do that and someone else who isn't even verified gets GIVEN tiered land to build the same thing I wanted to.. what am I going to conclude?

And Mickey, I haven't declined anyone, I just haven't actually been able to meet them yet!