Social no-no's
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Brenda Connolly
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Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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11-08-2007 11:01
From: Stella Stapleton Well, certainly there's nothing wrong with anyone wanting to keep their personal details private. Personally, however, I can't imagine why they would. It's the fact that they have "security concerns" which I find the most problematic. What kind of drama has unfolded that would prevent someone from giving out the most obvious and oldest "chat room info" (A/S/L). It just piques my curiousity...and my spider senses  Because this is not a chat room for a lot of people. It is a world in and of itself. While some avatrs are meant to represent the person to an extent, many are characters in and of themselves, the RL of the controller is irrelevant.
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Don't you ever try to look behind my eyes. You don't want to know what they have seen.
http://brenda-connolly.blogspot.com
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Maggie McArdle
FIOS hates puppies
Join date: 8 May 2006
Posts: 2,855
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11-08-2007 11:02
From: Sandy Carver Hi everybody,
Last night was my first true experience of SL after a few days of bumbling round on my own, and thanks to the great tips I got from this web site I was off and running.
Does anybody have any good suggestions of what NOT to do in polite society to save me saying or doing the wrong thing. I went into a few pubs and bars last night and wasn't sure if I was supposed to wait to be invited into conversation or would that seem stand offish. I said hello on a couple of occasions and just received the occasional 'hello' in return. I wasn't sure if it was viewed as pushy to just start firing questions at people you've just met.
Also, I read in one of the threads that the subject of RL can be a sensitive issue. Generally what sort of questions are considered acceptable about RL? ie Where are you from? for example. If you replied "England" and somebody said "Oh really? What part?" Is that getting a bit specific?
So I thought I'd ask the forum for perhaps their top 5 social no-no's when travelling through SL.
Thanks Sandy (as in Alexander) whatever you would not do in a RL social situation, don't do in SL. if you can get this down the rest is cake  and Welcome to SL
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There's, uh, probably a lot of things you didn't know about lindens. Another, another interesting, uh, lindenism, uh, there are only three jobs available to a linden. The first is making shoes at night while, you know, while the old cobbler sleeps.You can bake cookies in a tree. But the third job, some call it, uh, "the show" or "the big dance," it's the profession that every linden aspires to.
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Okiphia Rayna
DemonEye Benefactor
Join date: 22 Sep 2007
Posts: 2,103
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11-08-2007 11:03
From: Lexxi Gynoid With this I agree. I am Lexxi Gynoid in SL. I am not whoever the idiot in RL that is tossing a few bucks at the avatar to play with. I am Lexxi Gynoid. Where do I live? Tough question, I have all my land for sale at the moment. How old? In cat year's or human? My location on the forums is SLiderule  I only give state for timezone usually.. and only if I trust the person.. only my Mistress knows any more specific than that
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Owner of DemonEye Designs Custom Building and Landscaping Owner and Blogger, Okiphia's Life http://okiphiablog.blogspot.com/ 
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Stella Stapleton
Stella's Mall
Join date: 13 Nov 2006
Posts: 23
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11-08-2007 11:05
From: Bradley Bracken Stella, I agree that internet stalker paranoia is blown way out of proportion. But if someone doesn't want to share info (like me) then that's their prerogative. The reason I don't want to is very simple. I already have a RL. I come here to have a SL. Quite right Bradley, I would never press anyone for their personal details. I suppose I have difficulty rectifying a heavily social environment like SL and people who feel they should (or need to) withhold even basic information. I think if I role played, I wouldn't have trouble with this dichotomy. I regard SL as an extension of my RL..my hobby as such..so I don't differentiate them too strictly. I respect those who do though. |
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Brenda Connolly
Un United Avatar
Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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11-08-2007 11:05
From: Bradley Bracken Stella, I agree that internet stalker paranoia is blown way out of proportion. But if someone doesn't want to share info (like me) then that's their prerogative. The reason I don't want to is very simple. I already have a RL. I come here to have a SL. I don't blame you, after finally seeing that butt of yours, you'd need RL Banlines to get any privacy...or move to Fresno.
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Don't you ever try to look behind my eyes. You don't want to know what they have seen.
http://brenda-connolly.blogspot.com
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Bradley Bracken
Goodbye, Farewell, Amen
Join date: 2 Apr 2007
Posts: 3,856
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11-08-2007 11:07
From: Brenda Connolly I don't blame you, after finally seeing that butt of yours, youd need RL Banlines to get any privacy...or move to Fresno. It is a curse being beautiful.
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My interest in SL has simply died. Thanks for all the laughs
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Laura Lobo
Registered User
Join date: 8 Sep 2006
Posts: 79
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11-08-2007 11:07
From: Stella Stapleton Well, certainly there's nothing wrong with anyone wanting to keep their personal details private. Personally, however, I can't imagine why they would. It's the fact that they have "security concerns" which I find the most problematic. What kind of drama has unfolded that would prevent someone from giving out the most obvious and oldest "chat room info" (A/S/L). It just piques my curiousity...and my spider senses SL is not a "chat room". ASL does not apply. Second Life is about creating a separate life from your real life. So giving out ASL defeats the purpose of having a Second Life. I never ask someone's age or location. It is irrelevant to me. I base my judgment on how they act. If I wanted to know people in RL then there are plenty of dating sites rigged with cam and IM software that is superior to 3D avatars. |
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Annabelle Babii
Unholier than thou
Join date: 2 Jun 2007
Posts: 1,797
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My tip for SL social skills
11-08-2007 11:08
If you see an avatar, and let's say it's a 16m tall furry cyborg dragon...
treat that person like you would a 16m tall furry cyborg dragon.
Always treat an AV as if they were exactly what they appear. (unless they request otherwise)
It's just plain polite.
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Chris Norse
Loud Arrogant Redneck
Join date: 1 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,735
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11-08-2007 11:10
From: Laura Lobo SL is not a "chat room". ASL does not apply. Second Life is about creating a separate life from your real life. So giving out ASL defeats the purpose of having a Second Life.
Your opinion, it is valid for your circumstances but others may feel differently for their own.
_____________________
I'm going to pick a fight
William Wallace, Braveheart
“Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind”
Douglas MacArthur
FULL
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Trout Recreant
Public Enemy No. 1
Join date: 24 Jul 2007
Posts: 4,873
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11-08-2007 11:11
From: Brenda Connolly I don't blame you, after finally seeing that butt of yours, you'd need RL Banlines to get any privacy...or move to Fresno. If he moves to Fresno, he really will need a second life, because his first life will be over. <--- Grew up just south of Fresno and ran away as soon as he could.
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From: Jerboa Haystack
A Trout Rating (tm) is something to cherish. To flaunt and be proud of. It is something all women should aspire to obtain!
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Laura Lobo
Registered User
Join date: 8 Sep 2006
Posts: 79
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11-08-2007 11:13
From: Chris Norse Your opinion, it is valid for your circumstances but others may feel differently for their own. This is how Second Life is (was) designed and promoted. At least when I signed up in December 2005. |
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Maggie McArdle
FIOS hates puppies
Join date: 8 May 2006
Posts: 2,855
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11-08-2007 11:15
From: bilbo99 Emu This is spooky! I went home lunchtime today, most unusual. I had a few mins so logged, looked in at the hangout, not been there for a while. There to greet me is a visitor counter. I don't know if it logged my identity but I'm admitting here for all, I'm visitor number one today LOL
At the risk of going off topic here, I wonder if anyone but businesses use these devices and if so, why?
Oh, and on the bumping issue, I always have my mini-map up. I find the compass alone very useful. And yes, I've fallen foul of walking into avies before they appear. With lag so variable it's got to be an occupational hazard.
Stand still and build a skyscraper of avies or move? Needs its own thread!! we use them at our home, buisness and retreat. just to see who visits. we use Linus, which not only records how many but who. it pretty neat o see repeaters come back teh bumpers: when i tp in i move three or four steps to the left or right so i am out of the way of the next incoming avatar. and yes its a GIANT pet peeve of mine when someone pushes you and does not say excuse me. there's one in particular i know saw me ..and when i see her again.....grrrrrr 
_____________________
There's, uh, probably a lot of things you didn't know about lindens. Another, another interesting, uh, lindenism, uh, there are only three jobs available to a linden. The first is making shoes at night while, you know, while the old cobbler sleeps.You can bake cookies in a tree. But the third job, some call it, uh, "the show" or "the big dance," it's the profession that every linden aspires to.
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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11-08-2007 11:18
From: Laura Lobo This is how Second Life is (was) designed and promoted. At least when I signed up in December 2005. Well of course thats how it used to be. But now its grown up and many people want it to be Myspace/facebook/eharmonymatch/yim/aim/msn/youtube.com And some want it to be Disney/Lego/pgmyspace/kumbaya.com |
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Okiphia Rayna
DemonEye Benefactor
Join date: 22 Sep 2007
Posts: 2,103
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11-08-2007 11:19
From: Bilbo99 Emu
At the risk of going off topic here, I wonder if anyone but businesses use these devices and if so, why?
I use them at home to find bots now (After was suggested by someone), and used it for my 'business' promotional item raffle to all visitors... now though I use it at home still for the bot-finding/banning, and use it to see if my Family has been home since last I was on (I check it at login and logoff) just to see if they have and such...
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Owner of DemonEye Designs Custom Building and Landscaping Owner and Blogger, Okiphia's Life http://okiphiablog.blogspot.com/
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Brenda Connolly
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Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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11-08-2007 11:19
From: Trout Recreant If he moves to Fresno, he really will need a second life, because his first life will be over.
<--- Grew up just south of Fresno and ran away as soon as he could. Could be worse, you could have lived in Palmdale: Thanks again to Mr Zappa Goin' back home To the Village of the Sun Out in back of Palmdale Where the turkey farmers run, I don Made up my mind And I know I'm gonna go to Sun Village, good God I hope the Wind don't blow It take the paint off your car And wreck your windshield too, I don't know how the people stand it, But I guess they do Cause they're all still there, Even Johnny Franklin too In the Village of the Sun Village of the Sun Village of the Sun, son (Sun Village to you) Little Mary, and Teddy, and Thelma too Where Palmdale Bouldevard Cuts on through Past the Village Inn & Barbecue (I heard it ain't there... Well I hope it ain't true) Where the stumblers gonna go To watch the lights turn blue Where the stumblers gonna go To watch the lights turn blue-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-wahhh?
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Don't you ever try to look behind my eyes. You don't want to know what they have seen.
http://brenda-connolly.blogspot.com
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Chris Norse
Loud Arrogant Redneck
Join date: 1 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,735
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11-08-2007 11:22
From: Laura Lobo This is how Second Life is (was) designed and promoted. At least when I signed up in December 2005. When I signed it it was promoted as "Your World, Your Imagination". That leaves it open to all different circumstances and ways of viewing what it is. There is room for all of these views.
_____________________
I'm going to pick a fight
William Wallace, Braveheart
“Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind”
Douglas MacArthur
FULL
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Lexxi Gynoid
#'s 86000, 97800
Join date: 6 Aug 2007
Posts: 3,732
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11-08-2007 11:27
From: Colette Meiji Well of course thats how it used to be.
But now its grown up and many people want it to be
Myspace/facebook/eharmonymatch/yim/aim/msn/youtube.com
And some want it to be
Disney/Lego/pgmyspace/kumbaya.com I have seen youtube.com. I have seen Disney movies, and have been to one of their parks. I have no idea what any of the rest of that you mention could possibily be.
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Her Royal Highness Buttercup Meow the XXI
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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11-08-2007 11:28
From: Chris Norse When I signed it it was promoted as "Your World, Your Imagination". That leaves it open to all different circumstances and ways of viewing what it is. There is room for all of these views. I dunno. The more SL becomes like Myspace or Eharmony the less appealing it will be for virtual worlders. Particularly when those who want to bring RL into as much of SL as they can generally expect everyone else to do the same. |
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Stella Stapleton
Stella's Mall
Join date: 13 Nov 2006
Posts: 23
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11-08-2007 11:37
From: Colette Meiji I dunno.
The more SL becomes like Myspace or Eharmony the less appealing it will be for virtual worlders.
Particularly when those who want to bring RL into as much of SL as they can generally expect everyone else to do the same. I can only speak for myself, but I could care less whether or not people are transparent about their RL in SL. If people choose to keep their personal details private, great no problem! It simply piques my curiosity and makes me wonder why an SL conversation must be so different than an RL one with a stranger? I want to iterate ~ I don't expect others to "bring RL into SL" at all. People can do as they please. They can say what they want and do what they want. So can I. |
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Brenda Connolly
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Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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11-08-2007 11:46
From: Lexxi Gynoid I have seen youtube.com.
I have seen Disney movies, and have been to one of their parks.
I have no idea what any of the rest of that you mention could possibily be. What she means is some see SL as an animated RL chatroom where everyone is their RL selves, looking to meet people for RL meetings, with full disclosure of personal details.....and... The other option of SL becoming a bland, politically correct, corporate infested, marketed, "theme park" experience
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Don't you ever try to look behind my eyes. You don't want to know what they have seen.
http://brenda-connolly.blogspot.com
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Maggie McArdle
FIOS hates puppies
Join date: 8 May 2006
Posts: 2,855
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11-08-2007 11:50
From: Brenda Connolly What she means is some see SL as an animated RL chatroom where everyone is their RL selves, looking to meet people for RL meetings, with full disclosure of personal details.....and...
The other option of SL becoming a bland, politically correct, corprate infested, marketed, "theme park" experience umm ew?
_____________________
There's, uh, probably a lot of things you didn't know about lindens. Another, another interesting, uh, lindenism, uh, there are only three jobs available to a linden. The first is making shoes at night while, you know, while the old cobbler sleeps.You can bake cookies in a tree. But the third job, some call it, uh, "the show" or "the big dance," it's the profession that every linden aspires to.
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Laura Lobo
Registered User
Join date: 8 Sep 2006
Posts: 79
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11-08-2007 11:51
From: Chris Norse When I signed it it was promoted as "Your World, Your Imagination". That leaves it open to all different circumstances and ways of viewing what it is. There is room for all of these views. If Your World and Your Imagination is just making SL like RL then why not spend the time making RL a better place? I get tired of being bitched at by people because "West USA" and "mid 20's" is not a good enough answer for them and this is happening a hell of a lot more lately. Until about a year ago no one ever got mad over me not telling my details. Feel free to look at my Profile under 1st life tab. That info is not satisfactory to many anymore. They get all pissy when I tell them that is as close as they are going to get. I tell them if they want more specific details about people then go sign up at adult friend finder. But hey, that costs money. Can't get a cheap date that way right?..... SL has really gone down hill from a RP point of view. To bad really. Not much creativity anymore. |
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Stella Stapleton
Stella's Mall
Join date: 13 Nov 2006
Posts: 23
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11-08-2007 11:53
From: Laura Lobo If Your World and Your Imagination is just making SL like RL then why not spend the time making RL a better place?
I get tired of being bitched at by people because "West USA" and "mid 20's" is not a good enough answer for them and this is happening a hell of a lot more lately.
Until about a year ago no one ever got mad over me not telling my details. Feel free to look at my Profile under 1st life tab. That info is not satisfactory to many anymore. They get all pissy when I tell them that is as close as they are going to get.
I tell them if they want more specific details about people then go sign up at adult friend finder. But hey, that costs money. Can't get a cheap date that way right?.....
SL has really gone down hill from a RP point of view. To bad really. Not much creativity anymore. People getting pissy b/c you choose not to reveal your details is unacceptable and clearly those people are just being argumentative for it's own sake. |
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Brenda Connolly
Un United Avatar
Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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11-08-2007 11:55
From: Laura Lobo If Your World and Your Imagination is just making SL like RL then why not spend the time making RL a better place?
I get tired of being bitched at by people because "West USA" and "mid 20's" is not a good enough answer for them and this is happening a hell of a lot more lately.
Until about a year ago no one ever got mad over me not telling my details. Feel free to look at my Profile under 1st life tab. That info is not satisfactory to many anymore. They get all pissy when I tell them that is as close as they are going to get.
I tell them if they want more specific details about people then go sign up at adult friend finder. But hey, that costs money. Can't get a cheap date that way right?.....
SL has really gone down hill from a RP point of view. To bad really. Not much creativity anymore. I am finding it more too. I don't think too much when it's from a person who has a full profile, 1st life tab and RL pic. It's obvious where they stand, but I love those who demand this info, press you to voice and don't have anythingmore than a scant profile, if any at all.
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Don't you ever try to look behind my eyes. You don't want to know what they have seen.
http://brenda-connolly.blogspot.com
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Stella Stapleton
Stella's Mall
Join date: 13 Nov 2006
Posts: 23
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Ps:
11-08-2007 11:55
From: Laura Lobo
SL has really gone down hill from a RP point of view. To bad really. Not much creativity anymore.
PS: Laura, I completely agree with you..downhill all the way. SL sucks. Yet I can't seem to leave...what an enigma |