Social no-no's

I do snoop in people's houses. In RL, this would be a big no-no. But in SL, most places are empty and unused most of the time. And unless you own an object, you can't use it, or break it, or steal it, so I don't see any harm in looking. I don't know if it's "accepted" etiquette, but here's the procedure I follow when I come across a residence that intrigues me:

1. Check my MystiTool or the minimap to see if anyone's at home. If it's occupied, I'll probably just leave (people are entitled to their privacy, after all), or if I'm very very interested, I'll shout or IM the people and ask if they're busy, and if I might see their fascinating place.

2. If it's not occupied, I'll go in and have a look around.

3. I'll take note of the owner, and send them a nicely worded IM, telling them how much I enjoyed seeing their lovely home, and offering them an invitation to call or visit in return.

I've made several new friends this way.

On the other hand, if I find something that weirds me out, I tiptoe silently away, and skip the chatty IM.

I have to ask (even though I run the risk of a social no-no), there have been quite a few mentions in this thread towards sex in SL.

I'm not a complete novice and I know what 'cybering' is, but is it possible to ask in polite company what is the jist of it? I've never seen any male avatars walking round sporting a <whistle> but does that really go on? And when people actually get down to it, is it just via the gift of typing and a good imagination or more sort of ..... on screen?

This may sound like I'm looking for tips but I'm not!!!! I'm in this for the social interaction and something to do with my evenings.

Is is possible to open my eyes without the gory details??? <cringe>

Sandy (Alexander)

..... and when I say 'something to do with my evenings' I don't mean ..........

You are probably not hanging out in areas where these guys are (how this is possible I have no idea as I see them in welcome area all the time). I don't know if you ever used a dancing ball and danced in SL but if so then the sex balls work the same way but in sexual positions. Adds 3D to the cybering making it a little more interesting depending on the other person.

I like nude beaches and hang out at them a lot. I see these guys and girls all the time. Just like in RL sex is SL is a huge part of the economy.

This is spooky! I went home lunchtime today, most unusual. I had a few mins so logged, looked in at the hangout, not been there for a while. There to greet me is a visitor counter. I don't know if it logged my identity but I'm admitting here for all, I'm visitor number one today LOL

At the risk of going off topic here, I wonder if anyone but businesses use these devices and if so, why?

Oh, and on the bumping issue, I always have my mini-map up. I find the compass alone very useful. And yes, I've fallen foul of walking into avies before they appear. With lag so variable it's got to be an occupational hazard.

Stand still and build a skyscraper of avies or move? Needs its own thread!!

Hi Sandy, welcome to SL!

The only tips I have to add that work for me are:

Do check profiles - Under the "1st Life" tab alot of folks, including me, will let you know up front if they are comfortable talking about their RL or not.

When I TP into a place that has lots of green dots showing on the map, I will fly in. That minimizes the bumping a bit, although then you are standing on someone's head. But, it's easier to move away quicker.

I also agree that general RL manners pretty much apply in SL too. As for chatting with folks, whenever I have gone into a new place where I don't know anyone, I will just start dancing or whatever. After awhile the opportunity always arises to laugh at something someone has said - this can lead to making a comment which draws other comments (or at least an acknowledgment that you are in the room) - which can lead to some good conversation.

That is, if I'm in the mood to chat.


Sol

Hi again Sandy

If you open the new resident information kit folder I sent you and go to the "Quick tips and how to's" section, you'll find a notecard about Slex, which describes most options and a few more.

All good advice.

Great idea to check their profile before sending them and IM, and make that IM worthy of a response. Note: Iming "man you are hot" or "come here often" or even better "whats your Sign?" are not worthy of a response.


Also... Should you wander off to my neck of the woods and perhaps land in a club featuring strippers, please be aware that although they will talk to you, they are working and dont want to have a full on conversation about what new medication you are on, the terrible drive on the way to work, the new building you are creating that is going to be a replica of Sears tower, how broke you are, and or other nonsense, UNLESS YOU TIP THEM. Tip jar makes a cha ching noise and then you can talk to them all day.

So many places to go - so little time. Surely I wouldn't be alive if I didn't visit a nudist beach at least once in my life!

How long until I finish work? ............ 38 minutes .........

Well .. er .. <cough> ..... ahem!!

There are places. There are private places. There are poses and animations people can buy to put in their private places .. but essentially they only set the scene. The real 'interaction' .. <cough> .. is in IM.

Please keep it to IM!!!!!

Will do Sally - Second Life is incredible isn't it? Ahhh the joy of the newbie!

Laguna, SDI and Solana are about the only 3 I can recommend. The others are mostly filled with campers. I meet a lot of interesting people and even more less than interesting people but over all have more fun there than anywhere else.

You sound suspiciously local ..... 28 minutes!

Somehow I forsee this evening being spent in the altogether!!

Please be aware that if you haven't gone to the trouble of locating "it" yet, you might go to the nude beach and find that you will end up walking around without "it" because you didn't have "it" in your inventory. And if you do have "it", it is likely to be a newbie (or more likely a noobie) unit and everyone will point and well . . maybe they will not point and laugh. There is a very interesting thread about "it" and how most men do not seem to "match". Getting prim parts and skin to match is not easy. Woman, depending on the level of skin detail, are one up on men in this department.

And by "it", I of course mean your own personal Nixon in your pants (am I allowed to say his first name in the forums?).

I happen to know the author of that notecard. Ahem.
I also happen to know that it needs updating in some places.
/me blushes furiously.

IM me for details.

Hi Sandy!

I think asking what city a person lives in is perfectly appropriate. If someone doesn't want to tell you, they wont. Living in the U.S., it's not too useful for us to find out that someone lives in the same country, since we do have 4 time zones and 50 states, many of them country-sized.

About the saying hello thing, (sorry I accidentally deleted that part from the quote) sometimes just a generic "hello" in a crowd gets lost quickly in the flurry of the chat window. And some people don't want to be presumptuous and assume you were talking to them. So, if you use people's names, or even say "Hello everyone, nice to see you all here" or something, then people almost always are friendly and respond.

Colette is right. It makes you look desperate. Women can smell desperate from three sims away. Instead, say, "Do you want sex later? Or whenever. I don't really care because I'm not desperate." You'll be swatting them off of you like flies at a picnic.

Actually, on a more serious note, I usually say my hellos in open chat when I walk into a club or somewhere like that, and I IM if I have something specific to say to a particular person. Nobody has ever acted insulted about this. If you are pretty easy-going, have a relatively thick skin and just roll with the punches, you'll do fine.

Nobody has mentioned role play sites yet. Generally, if you go to one you will get a notecard when you arrive. Try to be respecful and follow their rules. There are various degrees of seriousness in roleplaying and some people (cough*Gor*cough) tend to get upset if you aren't playing along. When you aren't in an RP area, though, even if they are in character, you are under no obligation to play along.

The fact that you are concerned enough to ask this question means that you will not have any problems. The people who cause the problems aren't in here asking because they don't care.

And also, please note that some women are in the market for "used cars" and therefore you should "dress" accordingly. Please check the signature lines (go to User CP to turn on sigs, images, etc.).

A workaround is to change your active group to make invisible avatars appear more quickly. You tp to someplace, you see nobody or only a few somebodies, but in chat you see lots of people talking and you can see their dots on the minimap...right click on your avatar title, choose Groups, then activate a different group title for another group you belong to. Not sure why, but this forces the other avatars to appear almost immediately about 90% of the time, and I recently discovered it also causes other avatars to UnRuth (to me anyway).

Oh no!!! The shame! You're absolutely right. I didn't know that I had "it" but just assumed "it" was there! If you hadn't said that I could have been the laughing stock!

First job when I get home - fix "it"
Second job - nudist beach
Third job - eat food in RL or risk death

Hang on, I should have put - 'get glass of wine' before First Job!

................ 19 minutes ....................

Not to mention that, ironically, many nude beaches have scripts disabled. I've done my civic duty several times helping newbies understand that they need to undress and attach elsewhere, and then tp in.

In my opinion this should be the 5th task added to Orientation Island.

In all seriousness (and I am not saying you are not serious) there really should be something about attachments/sex on the Orientation Island. Or at least a giant billboard or notecard, or something.

Wooooo, I am SO going to try that later! Was at a music gig last night and everyone had a bad case of bumps because everyone took very long to apppear (yeah i know ......mini map) and then quite a few of them were Ruthed for quite a while. Not usually a problem for me but a busy gigs it can get bad. Great tip!

My avatar, like many in SL, is an attractive woman. I don't like it when the guys ask me how old I am as the second or third thing they say. I think it is rude. I notice that I get this more from South Americans, so perhaps it is customary for them and I try to make allowances for cultural differences.