Best Place to Meet a Guy in SL

not true

Well we all have been through our own experiences. I am speaking of my own. Not to say they aren't out there but its rare. I only known of two ppl in sl that have actually met each other in Rl and ended up together. One of whom is a close friend of mine (my rl ex's mother). I don't doubt its out there but for me I have yet to find. From my last experience I have chosen not to find love in SL but to stick to real life. Again, anyone can be who they want to be behind a computer. My advice is make sure you don't get blinded.

not exactly from expirience
i`m not here to "play" unlike some of those jackasses

so true

i can add another couple to that list, they have plans to move in with eachother (RL) when sircomstances(sp) allow

well GOOD LUCK TO THEM? Are they young?

30`s

define young

wipes forehead. thanks for thinking 30's are young. cheers

30 here, so last thing i`ll call 30`s are old farts

Wiser words were never spoken! And this post comes at a special time in my SL - 9/21/08 was the first year anniversary of my partnership with a man I WASN'T looking for.

In fact, had he not asked me to dance (I NEVER ask men to dance...EVER), I wouldn't have had the opportunity to start getting to know him even though we both worked at the same dance club. Part of his job was to dance with unescorted ladies and I saw him as quite the flirt...a type I DETEST!

Once we began conversing during that first dance, followed by him IMing me often for dates, I started seeing the "man behind the flirt" and, the rest is history.

~ ~ ~

One small caveat - something we saw at the club a LOT were single ladies standing at the bar speaking amongst themselves in public chat about "Where are all the single men in SL" and "Why can't I find a man" and other similar comments. If I'd been bold enough, I could have given them the answer.

Just sayin...

I'm very familiar with this sort of thing. I noted in my previous post that I met my Partner at a club (1940's vintage jazz...very populated each night). We lost track of the number of "pairings" that began with couples meeting at this particular club - several held their weddings there (the owners of the club were the first to be SL married there and built a garden wedding terrace behind the club).

I've also been to each of the dance venues you've mentioned over the last year and a half.

Why I didn't indicate "where" the best place is to meet someone in SL is because of what everyone else has said - it's basically by just doing what you enjoy in SL (for me at the time - working in a jazz club) that you are most likely to meet someone with similar interests.

If going to the type of dance clubs where it is most common to meet others is what you enjoy - then you've answered your own question.

OK people, calm down on the "horror" stories of SL love, because there are ALSO a lot of stories like mine...not nearly as uncommon as you'd think...

...GREAT SL2RL love stories where people end up like me (RL together with him, and about to have a RL baby!

Second Life 2 Real Life Love
http://sl2rllove.blogspot.com/
Created by a couple who met on Second Life, then in Real Life (one going from the USA to AU), immediately got pregnant with a daughter due in October, and are now getting married. This blog, written by several authors from a variety of backgrounds, provides links to numerous resources on taking SL love to RL, as well as gives updates on SL2RLlove stories like ours. ~Randoym Randt & Matchsticks McMahon

I wasn't looking, and agreed that it does (from others I've met who are RL now from SL) tend to work that way...just like RL...when u aren't looking, you are just being 'you', and because your expecations are low, you find more than u are looking for!

All of the research on the emos and processes that occur in RL relationships tend to be very similar in SL/online relationships, even if faster or thru diff means...

...and if you are messing with a married person, DUH, there is NO DIFF in love, "love is love is love"...and of course you will likely get hurt, just like RL, because AVs are of course just people. I do however know a couple that is together after one left her married partner. Actually, make that two. No, three...yes even that happens, but prolly a symptom of other things not just SL.

In fact...one anthropologist wrote a book on SL and his work shows us...
http://sl2rllove.blogspot.com/search/label/Tom%20Boellstorff

"IF YOU thought a virtual world like Second Life was a smorgasbord of experimental gender swaps, nerdy types engaging in kinky sex or entrepreneurs cashing in on real-world moneymaking possibilities, think again. It's more humdrum than you'd imagine, according to anthropologist Tom Boellstorff. As on terra firma, people's virtual selves go to bars, build homes, get married - and have affairs. Could Boellstorff be right that we're all virtual humans anyway, viewing the world as we do through the prism of culture?"

QFT! One of the absolute worst dating experiences in my RL was with a man who was highly recommended by a mutual friend. He turned out to be the strangest person I have ever met and most likely a sociopathic liar. (There is even a strong suspicion he killed one of my cats!)

And this is someone I saw, face-to-face, who met my parents, the works.

Just like RL, right, same thing. That's the point, if we all met the "perfect" right person right off in RL, we'd all be RL married for life at 16...but for most of us, we go through a series of partners, many of whom end up being not quite what we made them out to be...our "making them what we want them to be" is a product of the biology of love:

http://sl2rllove.blogspot.com/2008/09/lesson-in-biology-of-love.html

So that's exactly the point, we are doing many of the same things in SL that we do in RL. It's just part of being human (we don't turn into a wolf in RL just because we have a wolf AV, for example)...

Love is love is love, you get some great guys and some bad ones, and if we started telling our RL horror stories of love...I suspect we'd find the same kinda problems.

/FD advise is don't bother, if you need fantasy stick with it in your head, much, much easier and less problematic.
You don't have to deal with guy demanding you be different, pay attention to his demands and the other dramas that go with relationships.
SL it's usually going to be casual and short lived.

Reading this thread has encouraged me to post even though it is my first day here. I notice that almost all the responses are from females. Well, apparent females, since there are lots of warnings about whether you can rely on anything here and in Second Life. Most of the responses seem not to be answering the question but questioning the motives or sanity of the person asking the question too, which doesn't seem a very positive attitude. Has everyone here had as bad experiences as might appear to be the case from their pretty paranoid advice? Maybe I should give up now!

Obviously I can't answer the question since I have only just learned how to fly, teleport and use the search facilities, but as a nice (whatever that means) single, relatively intelligent (well, I can type and spell a lot better than most of the posters in these forums from what I have seen) mature male I would be interested in knowing where I should go to meet mature females. Although perhaps people lie about their age as well. Anyway, I have four places to try out from her post, and some other ideas that people have suggested as well.

Perhaps someone might advise me if I should just approach other new avatars so that I don't have to deal with some of the jaded and cynical attitudes described here. Or is it friendlier in the game itself? Or maybe it is like school and no-one would dream of going out with someone from the agegroup below them so there is no chance of me making friends with anyone with more experience of Second Life?

The lady that asked the question didn't actually say she was single, but I presume that is the case or she would be a terrible hypocrite. But how can you tell because there doesn't seem to be anywhere in the profile to say what your status is? Should I say that I am single and looking or would that put women off?

Sorry if I have added more questions but perhaps answers to these would help even more men and women, especially the new players.

Thanks, Addam

If you are "single and looking", and do wish to have a relationship in SL, then by all means , put it in your profile. There is the FL Tab, where you can put all your details, even a picture of the Real You. That's the best thing to do if that is what you want to use SL for, your intentions can't be mistaken. Not everyone uses SL as a dating service, or even wishes to persue even SL only romantic relationships.

BTW, you can even put in a "Lousy typists need not apply" clause in it .

Just look for the blond, female avatars with huge breasts. There's your man.

Welcome to SL, Addam. If you are interested in an SL relationship, I think you'll find many who would be delighted to spend time with you.

Yes, sometimes the forum goers can get a bit cranky. It's been my observation that most of the crankiness is related to possible past forum history with other SL forum residents. It doesn't carry over into inworld, as far as I've seen.

I try visiting places of interest to me, figuring I will meet up with like-minded people. For example, I spent a lot of time in Avilion this weekend, and met some really nice people there.

I don't go to too many clubs, but several that have been mentioned here are great places to dance, and I do enjoy listening to music and dancing.

Enjoy!

Ingrid! You are on FIIIIIIRE tonight!! Lulz!

I haven't been here in ages. Gotta get my post count up, my cred is gone.

Best place to meet someone? Try the library - Info International - lots of smart, mature people there (of all ages/sexual persuasions).

Next best place? Find a dance club/bar that place music YOU enjoy...perhaps oldies or blues or jazz.

Next? Read profiles - go to an infohub and read profiles. Then accost anyone who tickles your fancy.

I didn't come to SL to find anyone so it's hard now to make people understand that I do not want to be partnered with anyone! Be my friend - that's all I ask - there will be NO partner is this ladies SL!

Good luck finding Mr. Right.

Considering I'm infatuated with one person, partnered to another, and have 3 other infatuations aimed in my my direction... No doubt that's the truth. (=_=)y

Put down the infatuation, sir, and step away from the bionic child...

What an interesting concept this is! We are all virtual humans, anyway, so SL is really not much different than RL. It does seem that there are few differences between activities in SL and activities in RL, except people are more open to trying new experiences in SL because the risk is so much lower and trying new experiences is so much more doable.

There is really nothing wrong with the concept of meeting friends, or people who become more than friends, on Second Life.

Wow ... and we only danced the one time.

At least I know I make a solid impression

This is how great signatures are made!