Best Place to Meet a Guy in SL

What's your favorite place to meet people in SL?

Places I have had some degree of success with meeting nice people: Sweetheart's, Frank's, Bogart's, Phat Cat's.

I'm sure you'll get lots of recommendations.

Mine is: Don't look for a RL relationship in Second Life. You MIGHT get lucky and find one...quite a few people have. But the odds are against it. Here's why I think so:

- The people you meet are anonymous. ANYONE could be behind that avatar. Man, woman, psychopath, your mother...

- People lie. Not everyone, of course, not even most. But the anonymity of the internet in general, and SL in particular, enables people to tell you anything they please. Some people hide their RL selves with no intention of causing anyone harm. Others deceive deliberately. If you encounter the latter, you could be deeply hurt.

- You have no way to KNOW. You must trust, accept a person as they present themselves to you. Sometimes you will find that trust to be misplaced. Well, that can happen in RL too...but it's more common here.

I'll tell you a true story...A friend of mine met a man here in SL. He captured her heart and they agreed to partner. Shortly before the ceremony, a mutual acquaintance told my friend that her intended partner was a woman in RL. She was shocked and hurt and confronted her lover...who denied it, and acted terribly hurt at her lack of faith in him. He told her that he didn't do voice because he had Parkinson's. She decided that she had been wrong to question him. They partnered. A few weeks later, "he" told her, "I've had enough of you. I really AM a woman! Ha ha ha!"...and left her.

If you go looking for a RL love in Second Life, you are going to run into that sort of thing. On the other hand, sometimes love will find YOU...when you aren't looking and least expect it. That's when magic can happen.

an OMG never forget about cooties!!!!

I totally agree. What one really looks for in SL is someone that's fun to talk to - a friend. If more comes from it, then all's well and good. If not, well, one can never have enough friends.

I haven't heard before of men who are really women, but I knew a RL guy with a female avie who had romances with men, telling them he was a woman in RL. Yes, it can happen

/me giggles and sprays herself with cootie repellent.

Gosh, I had forgotten that boys have cooties!

QFT.

Don't supplement your first life with the second, when it comes to relationships. Too much risk of psychopaths. If you happen to find one, great (it can happen) but far more frequently, it's just a nightmare freak show waiting to occur.

Umm....I didn't mean where to find a guy in SL for a RL relationship. I meant where to find an SL guy for an SL relationship.... I guess I didn't state my question clearly.

Your stated qualities that you're looking for trend toward taking it to RL eventually, if not right away. Why does it matter that he's unmarried or a little older than you if all you're looking for is friendly conversation?

Ah...now, if you are looking for a friend, that's another story. I have met so many new friends here! And so varied. People from all over the world. People of all sexual orientations and genders and ages. People of all faiths and backgrounds.

You were so specific in your OP (single, smart, middle aged, male, handsome) that I thought you were looking for a romantic relationship. Friends come in a much wider variety.

When I was new to SL, I hung out with a guy for about a month who was married in RL. I thoroughly enjoyed his company, but I had to break it off because I was feeling like the other woman. If his wife had known what he did in SL, she would have been very upset.

Why do I prefer guys who are middle-aged, more or less, just to talk to? Because if I want to talk to young men, I'll talk to my sons. Don't we all tend to enjoy talking with people in our own age range?

Now qualities that I would want if I were looking for a RL romance include living near me and a reasonable income. I didn't include these, because neither are pertinent to friendly conversation.

Gosh! I don't believe I specified "handsome"

/me scrolls up to be sure

No, I definitely didn't specify handsome. But aren't most of us handsome and pretty? this is SL!

I just happen to enjoy conversations with smart guys who are not kids. And I have had experiences that make me think that it's not a good idea to have a virtual romance with a guy who is married in RL. Seems to me there have been a number of threads about "is it cheating?"

Yes, friends do come in a wide variety, and I have met a large variety of friends. But sometimes a person starts thinking of a nice conversation with a person of the opposite sex, a bit of a flirt and tickle to put some sparkle into the evening....

Oopsie, you're right. My own hindbrain must've stuck "handsome" in there, sorry.

Well....since almost everyone in SL is handsome and/or beautiful, it is a pretty natural assumption..... ^_^

My view is this: mature conversation comes as it comes, and there is no way to predict what package is producing it behind the avatar. A mature 23-year-old that is well-informed is just as good as a mature 50-year-old. And if it is a woman playing a guy... well, that's out there too, but what difference does it make if it's just friendly, flirty fantasy?

Flirting with a 23 year old guy makes me think I'm flirting with one of my sons' friends. Ewwwwww! Guys that young make me think of patting them on the head and giving their cheeks a chubby, not of romance. ^_^

Actually, I find that people of similar ages tend to have more in common, don't you?

i was under the impression it was females who had the cooties!?

mind you it's better than flea's *scratches*

-Crunch

My SL sweetheart is 18 years my senior. I lucked out in finding him. But since my SL stays in my SL, it really doesn't matter what the package is. I mean, he could be lying to me about his age or status. But ultimately, it doesn't matter since it all stays in SL.

Ok, so not everyone prefers conversation with people roughly the same age as themselves. But some people tend to have this preference. ^_^

I think the most important part of this thread would be to remember to be very clear and up front about your intentions. Weather it be a guy for SL or a Guy in Sl to meet for RL. i think being 100% honest about your intentions will help. But keep in mind that SL relationships are very limited and anyone knowing the limits can also do harmful things .

why not try
match.com
?

My preference is for mature company - it just so happens that it comes in a significantly older package.

Again, even though "What's in SL stays in SL" is a good motto, when I was in a situation where my SL sweetie's RL wife would have been upset if she had known, I just couldn't feel good about the situation.

What if she found out? If she never found out, was what I was doing wrong knowing that she would be hurt if she knew? Even if she didn't specifically know for certain, wouldn't she sense a difference in their relationship? Was I causing RL problems for this person I liked, and for his wife whom I didn't even know? What if I were the wife; would I want to know? Would it bother me if I were the wife?

...

And on and on. I had lots of issues about having an SL sweetie who was married in RL.

/me giggles

Because the guys in match.com don't have cool avies and I can't look like a super model. =P

/me sighs and scrolls through all the posts of people telling her she shouldn't be asking her question and wonders if anyone will answer the question.....

Naw! All grammar school girls know that it's the boys who have the cooties =P