How do you find a good guy

nope
I am honest to where it is painful

I will not hide anything, I will not lie, and I will not cheat, and he knows this
it is the thing we value the most in each other

I did when I was married. Mine lies consisted of oh those shoes....you mean those shoes right over there. I'm sure I told you a few days ago that Miss Jeannie gave them to me. You probably wasn't paying any attention. LOL

Yeah, but like Brenda said, not about online relationships. It just isn't worth rl repurcussions. Unlike your husband, mine DOES know one end of a computer from the other and if he bothered, could find out exactly whatever I am doing in short order. Best that I don't have 'that' to worry about. If he should ever bother to come to SL to check on me, he'll find me doing exactly what I say I'm doing.

*LOL!* Right, I've got a few of those under my belt too. Oh those? Those are old. You just don't pay attention that's why you never noticed them before (Shoves Nordstrom's bag deeper into the trash can and covers it with kleenex.)

I'm just not buying this entire thread somehow. *checks calendar*

IMO - You, in no way, need to explain yourself or justify anything. Skim right past anything here that seems like someone is judging you. You have to answer to nobody but yourself in life - and sometimes a few directly around you.

I'm not saying it's OK, but I can't cast stones. Lieing is never good for a realtionship, but very few of us are without that sin. You take a risk every time you do it. Whether SL sex is cheating is strictly defined by the dynamics of your relationship with your RL partner.

What my point was meant to say is that what I do in SL is not important enough to destroy any RL relationship. If anything you do in SL is going to cause a problem with your partner, you should think carefully about it. As others said, things in RL happen at an accelerated rate. Is 3 weeks of pixel fun worth risking a marriage?

I do agree with you in that I see a lot of SL sex as no more than enhanced fantasizing instead of reading an erotic novel or looking at a sex video. But I am currently single. I have no one else to consider. But if I had a partner, I would have to take into account their view on it as well. It's a choice, not a judgement. just be prepared for the effects of that choice.

Set me as owner on your collar, I just want to test it.

But we can still stare at your ass, right?

But when you do ask questions in a public forum, you have to be prepared to hear answers, some you may not like.

I am...I don't care whether he says yes or not.

Exactly!!!!

Just being devil's advocate here for a minute:

Look at what you just said. You "put up with him", citing the most important reasons as being physical attractiveness (potentially indicating satisfaction with his sexual performance as well), and makes a lot of money. Nothing about love, commitment, caring, tenderness, etc. IE, all the things that make for a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship are missing from your portrayal. Then the negative comment: "he's the jealous type". Well, yah, he IS your husband, right? How would you feel if he were two-timing you while "away"? I mean, SL isn't RL isn't SL, but many people don't/wouldn't see it that way.



That wouldn't be a very safe bet. Granted, I may not tell my mate EVERYTHING there is to know about me, but when it comes to the important things, yes I would. To me, if honesty isn't or can't be the first precept of a relationship, then the relationship is doomed.

I mean, this is the one person you have given your love, even your very life to. How can anyone not give that person the honesty they deserve for returning those same feelings?

Ultimately, you make your marriage to this man sound cheap and superficial. "I just married him for the money and because he makes good arm candy." While those pleasures are nice to have, they are only a transitory bonus on top of what should be a much broader foundation; icing florets on top of a large cake. If there is no cake, what happens when those pleasures aren't there any more? What happens if he loses that high-paying job and/or gets hurt in a car accident?

As for forming relationships with people who are already betrothed to another, I avoid it like the plague. Generally, I figure if someone is going to lie and cheat on their mate with me to the point where we are going to forge a relationship to displace the existing one, what is to stop that person from repeating the same scenario with me just a little further down the road?

Again, this is all devil's-advocate speak; I don't know your real situation or motivations, just what you've told us so far. However, I would urge you to seriously consider your actions in light of several distinct points of view: yourself, your RL husband, your RL marriage, and any other of these "men" you want to meet here in SL, and what your intentions are with them. Bear in mind what I said earlier: You attract what you present.

I am listening to everything everyone is telling me. I don't have to agree with it though. Which is just as well as lots of the advice is contradictory.

this

do not ask if you do not want to hear opinions that do not side with your own

Of course it is contradictory, you are receiving it from different people with different values, outlooks and experiences. That is what happens when you throw out a net to sea, you will catch anything and everything. You have to sort through all of it to get what you are looking for. Posing your question in the forum is not any different.

You sort through it all some you take with a grain of salt. Some more seriously and some you will dismiss. There are no yes and no answers to your question.

Because there are as many different experiences in SL as there are people.

This is really the crux of it. We all make our decisions and must be prepared for whatever the results might be.

Its almost cocktail hour now so I have to run but thank you all for your views. I must say I find it very amusing that noone has suggested even one specific location where I might find nice guys.

Search for Gor.

That's because:

1) "nice guys" isn't specific enough to really know what to suggest, since:
2) "nice guys" in general can be found just about anywhere on the grid.

You're in one right now. But unfortunately, you aren't showing your best side, in my opinion. But even in world, there is no specific place. There is no "Nice Guys Club" where they hang out, at least staright ones. They are all over SL, just like RL. You may find one in a shopping mall jusyt as easy as a nightclub.

1) See my description in the first post.
2) They must be doing a good job of hiding from me.

Check for alt*erior motives while you are at it.

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