How do you find a good guy

OK my question is in three parts like on Blind Date.

1) Where do I go in sl to find nice guys with good conversation. I mean straight men that don't think they are god's gift and don't talk as if they are texting. I have tried Sweethearts and Phats because I thought that the odds would be better on finding a diamond in a pile of rocks in a big place but that was a fail.

2) How can I attract the nice guys while scaring off the idiots. Is there any magic I can do with my profile.

3) Less seriously what are the best and worst chat lines you have heard. Don't bother about hi, A/S/L and wanna.... as I have heard them already.

Just keep looking. I doubt there's any one place in SL filled with just the good ones. It's an online medium, you have to expect to find a lot of idiots.

Uhh... put something there about typing properly, perhaps? But if someone is too lazy to type properly, it's not too far a stretch to assume they won't read your profile. Just ignore the idiots when they message you.

When I started SL I joined the THINKERS group. It is the oldest discussion group in SL and is full of great gentlemen.

When I joined I kind of figured out I really didn't belong there when they kept sending me pictures of myself with scripts I was wearing highlighted in a red cloud all around me (bling queen). I thought they were complementing me on my accessories. But they never kicked me out and we had some great virtual cups of coffee over the years. Check them out.

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I can't really answer your question but I think you have a great name!!!!

I think you just need to explore and chat to people until you find the right sort of guys. Rather than get too emotionally involved with individual residents, you'll probably find yourself getting emotionally involved with Second Life as a whole!

Perhaps you're scaring them off by seeming too masculine in your approach.

Dont know about looking for nice men. I didnt go look for mine it just happened one day. Maybe that will happen to you?

Bec

I have to agree with the idea that these things 'just happen'.

SL is huge and there's tons of places to explore....not just clubs.....but all sorts of interesting areas. My advice would be to explore.....join some groups of interest (writing, photography, business......are a few of mine) so you can associate with like minded people. be friendly......and PAY ATTENTION to red flags. If something feels wrong about someone, go with your gut and move on.

1) I've been introduced by female friends to a couple of very nice guys, but they're all spoken for! Some friends, huh? 2) I've never had the opportunity to meet you in person...is your personal look "friendly" or more on the aggressive, "scary" side? That can mean more than your profile, 3) Can't think of anything in particular...I've probably made up the worst ones myself Good luck, Jackie.

I recommend live music events. Pick an artist that is popular, but not SO popular that the sim is packed and laggy. I meet a lot of nice people at music events and I find the caliber of people I meet is better than at a club.

Don't confuse "thinking they are God's gift" with confidence. Any smart male knows that confidence is an aphrodisiac. Yes, many males in today's world are metrosexual stick boys who couldn't or wouldn't show strength for any reason. So women aren't used to men who are sure and competent.

Isn't it something like what they tell people in real life? Stop trying so hard, because men can smell desperation? Find activities and groups that you enjoy, and meet people and make friends first? Be happy with yourself, and you'll be more attractive to the right kind of people, and all that? It seems to me that club hopping, however nice the club, will get you the same results that bar hopping will get you in real life. More of the same crap.

But I'm a dog, what do I know about the trials and tribulations of human mating? You all make it way too complicated.

Have you considered being a dog in SL instead?

I suggested the same thing to OP in another thread. That is where I met my hubby.

I do have another comment. In another thread you lament men reading Frank Miller, who I don't care for, yet get upset when people don't get the obscure pop reference that is your name. Is there some kind of disconnect going on here? To be honest ,the first thing I thought of when I saw your name was the poem Annabel Lee by Poe.

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

OK. Thanks to those who have answered.

@Keira Maybe I need to put something positive in the profile for those who do read it.

@Lias Is there another group called Doers. From your description I have a picture in my head of the THINKERS group all being Victorian men with white beards.

@Conifer Thank you for noticing. A few others have but none of them have been guys.

@Aeslyn That's what happens when you have three younger brothers as well as a mother like mine as a roll model

@Bec and Milla I am too impatient to just wait for something to happen. I also believe that you have to go out and make things happen.

@Jackie Is sl like real life then with all the good ones already married or gay. I haven't really got a look yet but I don't think it is scary. My first night I just found a ball gown to wear and last night I just looked in my inventory for a red outfit because Sweethearts was having a red competition although everybody else there was in grey it seemed.

@Eli I asked someone before about the politeness of talking even in IM during concerts and I never got answered. What's the etiquette.

People generally say "hi" and make jokes at concerts, but any long drawn out conversations should probably be taken to IM out of courtesy. Also, if you have not disabled your default typing animation it's considerate to preface any local chat with a "/" so that you are not playing the clack-clack typing sound over top of the music.
As far as IMs go... a lot of people use them at concerts. It never hurts to say "hi" to someone you'd like to strike up a conversation with. They will let you know in the first few minutes if they are there to socialize or not.

Hell. By the time I answered the first lot of replies there were more.

@Puppet Where do you think the line is between impatience and desperation and how would people who didn't read these forums tell anyway. There is no sense of smell in sl Maybe the behaviour of most of the men I have met would be explained by them really being dogs,

@Chris I have a liberal attitude to culture and literature. My comment was aimed at men in sl that spoke to me as if they were indeed fantasy cartoon characters. I have to admit that if someone romanced me with the Annabel Lee verse I would be impressed. I like confident men as well but not men that are already in love with themselves.

Honestly, I have found that it is a lot like RL - the harder you look, the less likely you are to find it. Relax and just look for fun places to go and fun things to do. When you are happy with yourself and your life is when you are able to best attract what you really want.

Every good relationship that I have ever had - RL or SL - has found me, I did not go looking for it.

I did notice the name but I've been busy RL and SL so I've been hitting the forums as briefly as possible (I do come, but I try not to post long windedly lol...too much).

Stop looking, or join an SL dating service.

This !!!

My relationship with Amara grew out of these forums. We talked for a couple of months before we ever met in world.

I am quoting this post particularly because it gets to the heart of the matter. You don't necessarily "find" someone by actually looking for them. You never know when or where that "right" person is going to show up, under what circumstances. Being yourself, doing things you love and finding people you enjoy spending time with are all conducive to *maybe* meeting someone. Afterall, SL isn't a dating service primarily, although it has sparked many relationships.

I met both of my BF's here on the forum, not inworld as one might think. The second (Ghosty) progressed to meeting in RL, and we have now been together for nearly a year, including now living together. Meeting here in the Forum has happened to several people I know, it's a wonderful starting point so, keep yourself open to that too

What I do is this: assume that nothing will happen with most of the guys you meet.

Once you have that in your head, it makes it easier to talk to them.

And then *I* start the conversation. It doesn't much matter what you say. If the guy wants to talk with you, he will do some of the conversational work.

If I'm in a club, if no one asks me to dance, *I* ask someone to dance. (There is nothing like when someone says, "Me? You want to dance with me?"

Next time you're in a club or wherever, look around at the guys standing by themselves. Some of them are too nervous to talk to you. If you start talking to them, they will probably fall over themselves, but do their best to seem cool.

One thing to keep in mind is that it won't always work. Some guys won't talk. Some will be aggressive in a bad way. You can't take it personally. None of us are supposed to get along with everyone, and a lot of the people you meet you would NOT want to date or even spend much time with. So it's good when things don't work out.

Doing this (I mean, starting things myself) makes me feel confident and independent, and people often come up and start talking to me.

All of that said, there have been times in SL when I've felt powerfully lonely, and there isn't much you can do about that feeling except try to shake it off.

One thing to remember, in SL most things and traits are exaggerated and a little cartoony. In SL we are all (for the most part) 25 and beautiful.

The me that most people see and the me that people who know me well see are a bit different. They are the same person, but my public persona is a bit over the top and larger than life. Look for the glimmers of the person under the cartoon.

You could make your profile less of a challenge and more of an invitation. A little attitude can be attractive, but too much and guys will think you are a psycho, or worse, really a guy.Put a picture in it as well.

Well I found mine ( or did he find me ) next door. He was a friend of the person who owned the house i was stopping at and we had a love hate relationship. He pushed my buttons I pushed his. We have now been together for just over 2 yrs in SL so maybe that annoying person may just be the one.
ONe point try to find someone on or close to you in time or else you may find yourself dealing with lack of sleep

MM pick up lines "If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous"
Got me laughing