For the rude answerers and RA goers

EXACTLY

I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that what I say is not understood by people and that this is not a reflection of their level of comprehension. I think it's idiosyncracies of the way I express myself perhaps.

That curry favour thing I said was entirely rhetorical, you see, but I can only assume that it has stuck in a few craws. I find that interesting in it's own right but I'm sorry if that is the case as it wasn't my intention.

The funny thing is, I've made various friends in world from the people who don't want to post here lol. Madness.

I'd welcome a conversation with you too Trout. I'm not doing much atm (as evident from me still posting) other than looking for a 512 at a sensible price. Not having much luck either!

***edit***

Aha ... that's what it is. People think I don't have friends? Well that's not true. Very few of them even realise the Forum exists tbh.

He he, thanks for pointing out my typo.

I never pay for friends. Dates are a different story.

As a new comer with a 'other side of the fence' view let me break the suspense. There is one. Was quite clear my first week here. Painfully obvious in fact.

Who are they? The Forum hangout regulars mostly.

How? Where if you don't submit to their view that RA is their own private stomping grounds and agree the have a sense of entitlement to said forum to disregard the forum rules then your on the outside looking in. Group mentality, clique, elitist club, whatever you want to call it, it exists. And clearly mob attacked by this group when you go against their grain.

Note I am not saying this in a negative context simply on a observational view. I have thick skin and as said in other threads even with this clique it is a pretty tame forum even with no active mods. They are, IMO, detrimental to the health to this forum, but thats just my view.

I am sure a few are going to jump on me for expressing my against their grain opinions (just like last time) which just re-enforces my previous comments. *shrugs*

M2C

If they are here, they are supposed to be 18, an adult. Age difference should make no difference. If they want to play with the adults, they have to be expected to be treated like an adult.

lol - I knew you had friends, and If I weren't dodging work while sitting at my desk pretending to work, I'd log on right now and hunt you down.

I don't know why the curry favor thing stuck in my craw, but I guess it's because I want my friends to be themselves and not try to act a certain way in front of me. I'd be really upset if I thought that's what they were doing.

Strauss,

I think your observations are fair. After all, they are your observations. I know how you felt about the cartel having it's own thread and you made that clear. Would you please elaborate on other ways that you are seeing this occur? I think it's only fair that you have your say without being attacked, as long as you state your opinion without attacking others.

I have huge respect for anyone with a point of view of their own and the balls to express it in such a public area. I am fairly new here too, and I really don't see what you are referring to so I would disagree. When does having a similar view as someone else classify another person as being in a clique with the one they agree with? Why does someone who disagree's with another's point of view to a newcomer become grouped in with a clique? I just don't see it, sorry. I think people are a bit quick to judge and place some status classifications with other people based on whether they agree or disagree with a statement. Healthy debate is wonderful and different points of view are challenging, the key is to open your mind and see someone elses point of view, whether you disagree with it or not.
I'm not flaming you my friend, just a difference in opinion.

So it's ok for a mob of ADULTS of middle age, to be more precise, to hound a young guy who has a fair few issues to deal with, to mock their work and build and rain down hatred and disdain?

Meh. I still find that inexcusable and I don't much care what people think of me for holding that opinion. However, the one name which gets my full attention just claimed it in world.

You showed up at the hangout and acted like a complete jackass to some of the people there. Jeez. I wonder why you didn't feel welcome. Let's ponder that for a while.

Nope. Can't figure it out. I guess you're right. It must be the clique keeping you out. Couldn't possibly be your behavior. I was standing right there, btw, and if Oryx hadn't already had the situation under control, I would have put on my house manager hat and ejected you just for general bad behavior to others. I guess I'm part of the clique, too.

Damn cliques. Always messing with Strauss' fun.

Yes, yes, yes.

I've been in world all of two months, and on this forum for even less than that. But I've been posting here a bit and dropping in at the hangout a bit too. I had an opening party at my cafe earlier this week and was lucky enough to enjoy about 25 guests over the course of the evening - about 3/4ths of those were people that I met either here or at the hangout.

Folks, if that's a clique it is the warmest, friendliest, most welcoming clique I've ever known.

In my brief experience here, the folks who complain the loudest about the interactions here are not merely people who express an opinion at variance with the majority - rather, they are people who belittle the majority opinion, belittle the people who hold the majority opinion, and generally get off on making a martyr of themselves for disagreeing. Most of the time it's not what you say - everyone has opinions and often they differ with the opinions of others - it's how you say it. Calling yourself a straight-talker, or disagreeing with someone else, is not an excuse to be an asshat.

I have been participating in on-line forums of one kind or another since about 1989, and I have never seen a single one in which there wasn't some level of complaint out there that the regulars are a bunch of meenyheads who have nothing but inside jokes and contempt for all newcomers and all who do not toe the party line. And in virtually every one of those forums - including this one - people who are nice, who engage in discussion respectfully, and who don't start their lives there whining about the existing community and culture - these folks never have any trouble fitting in, getting up to speed on the in-jokes, making friends, and becoming a part of the community.

I think what's said in the forums should stay in the forums.

I think what's said in world should stay in world.

What we are talking about here is peoples interpretations of what they see in the forums.

The only things you ever need to re-evaluate are:

Am I posting things just to be “part of the gang?”

Am I refraining from calling out a member of “the gang” for bad behavior because I don’t want to rock the boat or jeopardize my standing in “the gang?”

Am I willing to defend my opinions and even reverse them if presented with compelling facts that lead in a different direction?

Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, active participation on the forums does come with a certain degree of *notoriety (*used in a good way) that makes you somewhat of a public figure, there are pitfalls that come with being a public figure and one of those is facing the harsh truth that not everybody is going to think you are fabulous and wonderful. Anyone who is going to put themselves out in the public arena of a forum has to grow a thick enough skin to accept those that don’t like them; that is this forum or any other forum.

Forums are also not for everybody, this mode of communication favors those who write well, express ideas clearly and have a strong enough sense of self to look past a few deprecating remarks from irrelevant wiseacres.

To be fair to Trout, however, it was Strauss who linked the two.

Chuckles ... yep Madhu.

Funny, that coming in late means the original set up is also not apparent, or where some of the original line up of this very place, and the original in jokes came from.

Basically you disagree, strongly, with one cartel member and you have the same group of people generally shooting back, not just the person you replied too. I have seen this in many threads. One can say I suppose well the cartel members just happen to be the most active posters and just happen to have the same basic view and just happen to have the same defensive stance on said topics but its not a clique, elitist or entitlement mentality/situation. Sure, I'll buy that...

Also, I have NEVER attacked anyone directly unless the first shots were tossed my way. I have labeled sub-groups within the community some ways that didn't go over well and while I NEVER attacked anyone specifically in said comments I was by others who didn't like those views. If you need a refresher I would suggest you go revisit those threads in question and see thats clearly the case.

So I take offense you think you need to tell ME not to initiate any attacking, to the point its laughable considering whats transpired in the previous threads.

Like being called a troll simply because I didn't jump on the cartel mentality bandwagon.

Or a liar with admittedly no facts to back up said claim?

How about point that comment to certain members of the cartel where it belongs?

And, er, exactly why should in-world and the forum be kept separate, anyway? Is it even possible? My impression of Cherry is just as much formulated from her posts as it is from those dance parties she threw a few months ago.

Very well put ... you've captured in essence a lot of what I have been trying to draw people towards of their own reasoning over the last few weeks.

I post what I think, for me, and I've always been open to new input. Whether others are they need to decide for themselves.

~smiles~

It's funny - I got called names in private for those parties ... and thanks hon because tbh this is not a thread about me. I am nothing like interesting enough to have a thread about me.

It comes from the first get togethers we had during several acrimonious debates. There were several people who were beating each other up fairly good. we made a point that if you wanted to come to the gatherings, That those arguments were left out here. it was strictly a social group.

Because, as painful as it may be for some to read, the cartel location is no more special then any other hangout in SL. This is not their personal forum to advertise. There are other forums dedicated to that. they seem to think the rules don't apply to them yet I see some of these same ppl trying to play forum police. While the hypocrisy is entertaining it totally eliminates ant credibility they may have on that level which is sad. As we NEED creditable people to play forum police since we don't have any active mods.

And PLEASE don't give me the 'your jealous' garbage again... Believe it or not I am looking at this from a very neutral point of view for the long term health of the forum. Believe that if you want to or not, I cant be any more plain.

there really isn't one. and i really have to wonder about those who insist that there is one.
to try and control a persons thoughts and opinions, in a medium design just for that purpose is, well insane, and says more about the person complaining about there being a "clique".

in ANY sort of Forum or Forum like setting you will have those who post often mainly because they been around the block more times than you have, or have the been there, done that, here's my advice on it. and no, im not "sucking up" nor am i "hiding my own opinion just to fit in" this is MY opinion.

there is no clique. never has been. except in your own perceptions. and perceptions can be wrong. i found that out. so, to paraphrase a song, before you cry clique, take a look at yourself, and ask whats goin on in my life, that i feel excluded on a forum that will have little to no impact on my life.


now im gonna go into read mode, and eat my spanish omelette.
Love, Peace and Hair Grease.

Sounds like a bit of animosity to me. I'm super neutral. I haven't been to the cartel hangout, I haven't met anyone here in world, I've just recently started voicing my opinions on the forums and really have nothing to lose if people get all butthurt about some I say. I could care less, you say you don't care here yet you are calling out a specific group and are coming across as someone with a personal vendetta. That's from a neutral point of view and it's MY personal view. Although, you have every right to your opinion and thoughts, but to call out a group of people like, expect some backlash. That would happen anywhere and with anyone.

I'd like to point out that these arguments predate the dances Love is talking about - nowt to do with me!