The really stupid questions game

Because you have two children under the age of 5

Who writes all that glurge, anyway?

I'm guessing it's this woman:



You know you like kittens and puppies and all that "feel good" crap

Will you go to the store for me?

Yes. I will get you shoelaces, eggs, Maraschino cherries, a bottle of Cab., a live lobster, and beef jerky. I am sure *Suzy Homemaker* could make a delicious and nutritious meal.

Has this thread become the Joy Honey/Euterpe Roo gab-fest?

Almost.

Has this thread outlived its arguable usefulness?

Possibly.

Might someone suggest an empirical method for determining the point of "no longer useful" for this thread?

Sigh, empirical methods for qualitative judgements, give me an easy one why don't you? The best method we've yet found for establishing these fall under the rubric of inter-subjective correlation. Put extremely briefly, you need to gather a collection of evaluators who are all given the same squishy criteria for evaluation, they independently evaluate the material and it is given empirical validity if a) the evaluators are considered "reasonable" with respect to the material, b) there is a high degree of inter-subjective correlation not only on the particular item but on most similar evaluations, and c) the criteria are sufficiently well specified according to the degree of rigor required in the judgement. Pearson's R can be used to statistically test inter-subject correlation, but more sophisticated techniques like MANOVA are more robust.

Aren't you glad you asked?

I'm glad someone asked.

Can I have 50L to mend the shed?

Absolutely. it should be in your wallet now.

What's mending the shed?

Isn't it what you do in the dark when you think no one's watching?

P2

I thought that was 'nose picking'--not 'shed mending.'

Why are opposite sides of coins called 'heads' and 'tails'?

Because calling them C0cks and Pu$$ies would be offensive? (I might have crossed a line but that's what came to mind instantly)

Did I cross a line?

Yes, but only to get to the other side.

Are derivatives of corny jokes even cornier than the original or are they not even really jokes at all?

Yes. Like even less-funny photocopies.

Hey! Did Madame Maracas just cross the finish line? Is the race over?!?!

Oh God I hope not! Let's say no and continue on!

Shall we?

We shall

When counting, what is the last number?

That depends on how many beers are on the wall.

If I give you 6 watermelons and you take 2, what time is it?

Torleytime!!!

Why do people go after money tied to a string that leads to a person hiding behind a bush waiting to pull it as soon as they reach for it?

They must have read "Everything I Learned in Life, I Learned from Buggs Bunny"

Why do flashers always wear raincoats?

http://www.aerojockey.com/fark/flasher.jpg

Because they would look silly if they didn't.

Why is the ocean salty?

heeeyyyyy where's your question Tod?

(and on a side note... )

http://www.nyu.edu/projects/henik/yehoodi/wp.jpg

Do you think he likes me?

You're too small; the question is invalid.

Will the whale penis ever end?

"Had you stepped on board the Pequod at a certain juncture of this post-mortemizing of the whale; and had you strolled forward nigh the windlass, pretty sure am I that you would have scanned with no small curiosity a very strange, enigmatical object, which you would have seen there, lying along lengthwise in the lee scuppers. Not the wondrous cistern in the whale's huge head; not the prodigy of his unhinged lower jaw; not the miracle of his symmetrical tail; none of these would so surprise you, as half a glimpse of that unaccountable cone,--longer than a Kentuckian is tall, nigh a foot in diameter at the base, and jet-black as Yojo, the ebony idol of Queequeg. . .

Look at the sailor, called the mincer, who now comes along, and assisted by two allies, heavily backs the grandissimus, as the mariners call it, and with bowed shoulders, staggers off with it as if he were a grenadier carrying a dead comrade from the field. Extending it upon the forecastle deck, he now proceeds cylindrically to remove its dark pelt, as an African hunter the pelt of a boa. This done he turns the pelt inside out, like a pantaloon leg; gives it a good stretching, so as almost to double its diameter; and at last hangs it, well spread, in the rigging, to dry. Ere long, it is taken down; when removing some three feet of it, towards the pointed extremity, and then cutting two slits for arm-holes at the other end, he lengthwise slips himself bodily into it. The mincer now stands before you invested in the full canonicals of his calling. Immemorial to all his order, this investiture alone will adequately protect him, while employed in the peculiar functions of his office. . . what a candidate for an archbishopric, what a lad for a Pope were this mincer!"

You can wear it! So sayeth Melville in Moby Dick.

Do I creep you out?

No.

Can you hang-glide on whale labia?