The really stupid questions game

Hermaphrodites result from developmental defects during embryology and never have a full complement of the necessary parts to reproduce either with themselves or with others. As the various sexual organs differentiate from the same proto-organs (e.g. testes:ovaries, penis:clitoris, labia:scrotum) it is extremely unlikely that you get a fully functional version of both and rare that you get even one wholly right. Most of the literature typically describes the result as "ambiguous" in appearance.

Do note that this is coming from a guy who has a favorite genetic mutation (academically speaking (5-α reductase deficiency, because I know you wanted to know)).

Attempt at a redeeming stupid question: If there was a Journal of Deconstructionism, would there be any point in reading it?

Yes, but it had best not be printed in black ink on white paper (an artifically constructed phallogocentric bianary that privileges the absolute and authoritarian nauture of the "word." Blood used as ink on shredded dollar bills is the prefered medium for deconstuctionists like Cixous).


What percentage of the, then, live-studio-audience taping of The Lawrence Welk Show is now deceased?


(Introvert, you have a "favorite genetic mutation"? That is so cool!)

What part of the audience wasn't deceased at the time of taping?

Does there, or has there existed, a fan of Pia Zadora's music and film career?

(oh, and my second favorite mutation is antennapedia in Drosophila, which - admittedly - is not nearly as cool)

of course, the one and only Ted McGinley.

now I have forgotten, what was my question again?

Your question was "What was my question again?"

When eating an apple under an apple tree, should one feel guitly when looking up at the tree?

not unless you're playing with his trunk.

Am I wearing boxers or briefs?

In my mind, none

Why?

Coz you have a sick mind..

Why?

Because I said so.


Has anyone else noticed that Dora, of Dora the Explorer fame, screams everything?

Yes! and the map whines.

Do snakes get splitters?

Only if they have more than one television.

...

Um...

What were the rules of this game again?

Does it matter?

Why do giant Buttons taste better than regular Buttons?

sees wheeloo... pounces

Because bigger is better... hehe

Will you still respect me in the morning?

Depends, do you get 'em on the rolls or in the little shaker?

... um...

Are we allowed to answer a question with a question?

What do you think, puta?

Who you callin' puta?

What do female cats call their vaginas?

Meow.

What time is it at the South Pole?

Time to get a coat.

Are Camel cigarettes made of camels?

Only when I decide to make them,

when will jumping on a christmas tree like a rocking horse be awesome again?

When the christmas tree is a euphemism for obvious penis.

Why am I cursed?

You aren't. You are clever, intelligent, sweet, funny--and your wheels are *hot* (not like 'stolen' but like 'cool,' which is hot)--and you found your stuff.


Is it possible to have an unrequited love affair with a household appliance?

Yes, but it's exceedingly dangerous.

Why come Vienna isn't the capital of Australia?

I'm not positive, but I think my vibrator is only using me as a booty call.

Do chickens have lips?

I'm not sure if this counts as "unrequited" but I knew a woman who had an altar of more than a dozen battery powered household appliances that had been, and I quote, "worn out through overuse". I did not, however, pursue the matter further but have always been curious as to what the duty-cycle on those appliances is.

Vienna is the capital of Sausages, duh!

And chickens do have lips, they just only show them to other chickens.

Man this stuff is hard to keep up with.

Is the British Parliment either Funkadelic, smokable, or both?

Taco - They only have cranberries down under, because I like to put canned fruits in my pants... Er, for scientific research, I assure you! Actually, a little known historical fact is that most of those little Vietnamese snausages are made of chicken lips!

Siobhan - They used to, but they were all blown off in the Poultry Revolution of Canberra, that's why they now have razor sharp biomechanical beaks and fly South to Vienna for the holidays. This is the true story of how the holiday of Thanksgiving was invented by Proctor & Gamble.

Question - Where did my pants go?!? And, followup question, where did my cranberry sauce go!?!?!?!?!?