Ask Jake Anything

How many fingers am I holding up?

Brandi, she wants more sex and wants you to move to LA and be a groupie for an Emo band.

Lisa, the school teacher, she thinks sex is bad but has domination fantasies about teenage boys. She wats you to do soemthing to indulge but knows its wrong, so she just wants you to feel guilty.

Sue, she likes cars and wants you get a motorcylce.

Britney: Jimmy choo, more Jimmy Choo.

Heloise: She wants you to find god in a convent in India.

Wilma: wants kids and a family of her own.

Cassie: wantsyou to buy every my little pony there is.

Grace: Hates ponies, hates cassie and wants you to kill her.

Erica: Just wants you to understand her.

Fallon: hates the war in Iraq but wants you to be republcan anyway.

Destiny: Wants everyone else to shut up so you can think.

Amy wants every one to completely grasp the fact that SHE is in charge here.

3

Um no Steriods. Barry Missed the year waiting to pass a dope test, so the giants were in the toilet, the padres have a talent but no real manager, unfortunately you win your division and they don't fire you. LA well is LA. Colorado? Yeah right. And Arizona bought thier world series and now needs to spend a few more years recuperating. What would be funny is the padres making it to the damned series again.

Honestly, if a team just at .500 goes to the series, I will have to give up following Atlanta. There's too much heartbreak in following that team. It's like we're numbed to it. And all of why I started following BoSox a few years back.

oh crap, a question.

Does anyone else need spanking?

LOL

Mrs Jakal does. She didn't as a question. Collete will be busy.

The playoff as a whole different animal-anything can happen post season. Ask that Yankees

I am already MrsJakal's teenage lover... can I be lisa's too? she sounds fun

Damn. You are good.

Jake -

Why would dell put so much thermal paste on a cpu that when you need to replace the heatsink it yanks the cpu out with it, ripping 3 pins out of the processor?*

Thanks for your help,

Taco


* I could understand the idea if the computer wasn't under a service contract, then it would just be good business.

Hello Jake:
Question: What is the biggest urban myth going around right now?

Why didn't Taco mention this about a month ago? Is it because he wants me to mire in technical problems for the rest of my existence?

What should I give consideration to prior to acquiring a tazer gun?

Do you know where I can get one on the cheap?

Thats between you and lisa. I'd be careful, lisa is very repressed and when the damn breaks....

I am jake the all knowing. Of course I am good. But you didn't ask a quaestion. Collete will spank you now.

Because its a violation of the warranty to do any work yourself. Ulitmately you should not be working in your dell system. Also you should have known better than to buy a dell. I mean they are fine for somethings, but lets face it , if you are going to overclock, then you need a water coold system period. If you are not over clocking, then the chaep ass heat sink dell provides to keep the system cost at $799 is not good enough,m so they figure they cover the shit in thermal past so when the processer melts down it doesn't fry everything else.

Because taco bought a dell, and now he has decided to be a Computer 2ner and replace his own heatsink. A month ago the dells cheap ass heatsink was working fine.

And yes you are meant to be mired in technical problems for the rest of your life. Hence its just better to learn how to put your own system together, that way when somethign goes wrong you'll know how to fix it.

Jake, What the fuck are you talking about?*

(I had to ask it as a question, sorry. The company I work for bought the dell, the mobo fried, it's under warrenty, I'm authorized to fix this problem, they shipped the parts directly to me to do so).

Thanks!

Taco

That FEMA is efficient?

In all seriousness the biggest urban legend is the 21 foot crocodile allegedly shot by the miliarty in New Orleans. In factthe croc is real, it just happened in africa a couple years aga and not new orleans. Of course they can't seem to catch the caiman in the lake in the park in LA.

The new orleans croc myth is a crock because the gator, and not the crocodile is native to New Orleans.

The North american Crocodile is confined to central americs and the carribean. in the us it is found only in the florida keys and the southern tip of FLa.

Collete. spank taco for arguing.

Just becuse its under warranty, they shipped you the parts, and authorized you to fix the problem does not mean thats what is really going on. Didn't it damwn on you that this would be too easy? The need the damned thing to break wheile you are repairing it, so that when you send it back, they will blame the whole thing on you, say its outseide the warranty and chareg you $125 an hour for two hours to fix it.

Its all logical. Besides you ased me a philosphical quetions about the motivations of dell, not how to fix a heatsink.

Who you re going to use it on is a primary consideration. Most anyone you would taser deserve top be shot. buyingb a taser can be as difficult as buying a handgun.

Local law is of primary concern, in some places it is not legal to carry a taser. Some places it is difficult to buy them.

If they are allowed in your area (and you must check even city ordinances for this. then i reccomend the Taser X26C as the most effective, relaiable and portable. they aren't cheap but really you don't want to skimp, it would suck to schok yourself as well as the target.

Taser Corporation has its own website.

Dear Jake,

why is your spelling so rotten today? Are you hungover?

Love,

Taco

My spelling is always rotten Taco. Ask any of the forum people who level the " you can't spell so you must be stoopid" criticism. I think I was even negrated for my spelling. I certainly wasn't neg rated for acting like an ass. I mean accusing someone of being an ass in the forums is like accusing someone of speeding in the Indy 500. At east I have given up rpetentions and admit to be ing all knowing, all seeing and aimee weber's alt.

But no I am not hung over. And really its not so much the spelling, as it is the typing.

Are you ham-fisted?

no i just can't touch type well enough to do it accurately, can't be bothered to proof read something as inconsequential as a forum post, and want to say things at a faster pace than hunt and peck allows.

So its really more a matter of laziness than ham figneredness.