Ask Jake Anything

Dear Jake,

Inquiring minds want to know: Does cutting your hair periodically *really* make it grow faster or is that just a myth?

Jake,

I am indeed a Jesus and Mary Chain fanatic and happy when it rains. I would like to know that I can listen to to help fill the musical void since their break-up in 1999.

Z

Well when My hair was long, it seemed to take forever to grow any longer, (well it was never completely long, but i used to have aspikey mohowak. Now that age and buddhism, as well as frustration with terminally curly hair dictate my mostly shaved head, I will say that I need it cut about every two or three weeks. And I don't even have the excuse of having a hot little girl at ulta cut my hair. I use a crusty old barber, who still does shaves with a straight razor.

So bsed on my own scientific testing I would say its a myth.

You, being a woman (and yes brace your self for a nakeed generalization here) are not ever going to be satisfied with you hair, at least as long as you spend less that $120 getting it cut. It will just never look right. Just like your makeup and nail polish is never exactly perfect (at least until they discontinue the almost perfect lipstick-dicontinuance makes it perfect). However if you spend $120 bucks on hair cut, you have spent too much to debate how good you think it is, and you trust your hair care professional when he tells you how good it looks (cause expensive haircutters are always gay men).

The problem is that you boyfreind will not be able to tell the difference between the cheap cut and the expensive cut, but rather than question the merits of the $120 hair cut, you will blame him for being an insensitive churl, who is blinded by his misplaced adoration of you, who tells you hair looks great just to placate you so he doesn't have to deal with your irrational breakdown cause your hair is not perfect and he ate all the green M&M's. The only way to really escape this cycle, is to go out a buy new shoes to match your new look, and thus feel sexy again.

So really does it matter how fast your hair grows, as long as you have proper foot wwear to carry off any look?

Dear Jake,

What is the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything?

(I Googled it, but it kept on giving me "42"--What's that about)

--Confused

I too am a jesusn and mary chain fanatic, and I fill the voide with Blink 182, johnny cash, Apocalypse Hoboken, and any number of new bands, including DMX. There is no replacement for the J&MC. So we simply must enjoy the tracks they gave to us.

It is 42. The trick is figuring out how to ask the question.

Dang... any ideas?

Jake: Perhaps you can answer me this question which I've been pondering since the recent currency furor broke.

When, precisely, did Philip Linden sell his soul, SL and every last resident to Satan? I didn't see the obvious signs til recently, but since you're far more astute and well informed...

He who speaks does not know - he who knows does not speak

He who asks such a question in such a place does not genuinely wish to know. Probably the wisest postion of all.

So by virtue of the fact you're posting here you're admitting you don't know anything?

According to the Hitchhiker's Guide, researchers from a pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent race of beings, construct Deep Thought, the second greatest computer of all time and space, to calculate the answer to the Ultimate Question. After seven and a half million years of pondering the question, Deep Thought provides the answer: " forty-two".

"Forty-two!" yelled Loonquawl. "Is that all you've got to show for seven and a half million years' work?"
"I checked it very thoroughly," said the computer, "and that quite definitely is the answer. I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've never actually known what the question is."

Deep Thought informs the researchers that it will design a second and greater computer, incorporating living beings as part of its computational matrix, to tell them what the question is. That computer was called Earth and was so big that it was often mistaken for a planet. They themselves take the form of mice, to run the program. The question was lost five minutes before it was due to be produced, due to the Vogons' demolition of the
Earth, supposedly to build a hyperspace bypass.


-------------------
So supposedly they would have known but alas ..

Nice troll. No taker.

Phil didn't sell his soul and every last resident to satan. He tried, but satan read the forums and decided the headaches wasn't enough. So we are all saved! Halleluliah!

I am assuming you refer to the recent situation involving the GOM. Frankly I think this has been coming a long time, there is too much money to be made, and its too easy a feature to add, for this to be ignored. Its sound business. Brutal, but sound. Capitalism in action.

Thinking is more interesting than knowing, but less interesting than looking.

Goethe.

Man's main taks in life is to give birth to himself. Erich Fromm.

Ok this forum is Ask Jake Anything. Not harass Jakes readers. That means I get to ask the questions, and harass the readers, and you get to partake of my wisdom. If you want to affo your wisdom, then make a forum called ask Atun anything.

The "silly question": is the first initmation of some totaly new development.

Aflred, Lord Whitehead.

So there is nothing wrong with coming in and asking any question, even one that has been asked over and over here. However, coming here and providing answers in my forum, is bad. Collete will spank you now, as her punishement for answering questions on my forum. even when teh asn2wer is essentially, correct.

Hey, Only I can pick on my readers. Collete will spank you now too.

This post should be moved to the Kris and Autun Argue the meaning of wisdom forum. Kirs is, in fact, quite lovely, and not a troll. She is just naughty.


Now all of you play pretty!

(yes I am an arrogant and condescending bastard, but hey it is my thread!) More questions please. QUESTIONS!

I"ll bite.

Why are you arrogant and condescending? *smiles sweetly*

I am not sure I can answer that. I suppose outside the walls of this thread I really try to be considerate, compassionate and well mannered. Sometime I fail miserably, but I try.
There is so much argument on the forums that I felt I needed one place to always be right. I mean Dr. laura gets to be right in her show, and Howard Stern gets to be right in his show. So this is my one place i can be a tyrant and brook no argument.

Thant being said, without my loyal posters, even those that post answers, I would not have half so much fun. So even if we got in a flame war over the Sl is not a game issue, I invit your questions here, where at least you know my answers will be sometimes random, always right, and hell sometimes they are even good.

Just so long as they are mine.

Dear Jake,

Why does it seem that everybody's at each other's throats in the forums this week? Is it just my imagination? Are we going through a transition in which people have decided they're "mad as hell and not going to take it anymore" over a variety of issues? Or is stress over worlds gone mad?

Yours Very Truly,

Taco

HAHAHA Garoad that cracked me up.

Okeydoke Jake, how do you feel about the state of Gestures in SL?

I think t is mainly a power struggle coming to ahead between to groups that have been sniping at each other in small posts in varous places for a long time. I think these disputes reflect alot of issues that have been simmering in SL. LL sort of shook everyone up with its decision to sell linden in game. which sort of destabilized the gom.

I think for a long time the uneven enforcement of forum dissipline has been apparent, and the banning of prokofy is just one example. However prokofy did push a lot of buttons. So any fight involving prokofy is never really about what he said. I think a lot of people are jealous because of Aimee Weber getting a lot of press and other desingers, whom they favor, are not. Through no fault of her own, my freind Aimee is a huge presence on the SL website and people wonder how she makes all the press clippings. Still other peope are mad cause jeska was a model on an advertisment, and this will bring the downfall of western Civilizatiopn cause she did not have the indecency to appear naked! (Maybe I can talk Robin or Karen into it, or in the interests of gender equality, bub. The then forums will be all about sex again).

Other people are upset because anshe chung makes a lot of money and has spearheaded the formation of a new FIC to replace the old FIC. However alot of what the new FIC wants helps out common players, so the NEw FIC is getting popular support. At least until they realize the FIC is like government, new or old, it doesn't get much done.

Other people are realizing that Phillip Linden (sorry for addressing him as saint Phillip the wise) was really serious when he said LL was not really interesting in being SL police, and are now trying to figure out how to replace LL as the police, after ridiculing the idea on the gevernment forum.

On top of this comes the usual inability of forum posters to avoind calling everyone idiots when they disagree with their posts, and of course the plethora of spelling a grammer posts. It would save enveryone time If we had a from flame: We could fill in the blanks with obscenties like mad libs.

Finally everyone hates jake Reitveld anyway, so they are all made at me. Its what I get for being Katykiwi's freind and aimee's freind, and Ingrid's freind and prokofy's friend, and tacos friend and liking pretty much everyone and respecting those I disgree with (well mostly, they disagree with me so obviously they don't know I am always right-a few years as my galley slaves should bring them around).

And some people, like me, just like to hear themselve talk.

Ah well perhaps I shall start a poll askign whether everyone believes I am aimee's secret love child with Lordfly Digeridoo. So many panties, so little time.

If I could use gestures in SL, I might have an opinion on them. But noone ever explais how to set them up, or set triggers or make them useful. And since they are not my gestures, its a little difficult to stomach some of the more cheesy ones (like the wink and the figer guns saying "If I told you how much I like your body would you hold it against me".

So really i think gestures need to be revisited, and explained, maybe someone could teach a class on 50 stupid gesture tricks.

Jake, what happened to "Eat my shorts!"? I remember it being so popular when the Simpsons made the jump from Tracy Ullman shorts to a fulltime show. Now I never hear it, but the Simpsons are still popular.

Like many great catch phrases it slipped out of the used parlance and falling in to obscurity. Rememebr Do Me Now? Or Where's the beef? or Excuuuuseee Me? Sadly in the ever changing world of the english languange, expression fade and are replaced my new ones. Some day we may even loose the FO Shizzzle experession that defines pop culture today.

Of course now Our popular catch phrases are short. It used to be that people wrote poems, or quoted the bible or other classical authors, or even shakespear. But now we turn to product advetising for the thre word phrase that sums up our worldview.

Zum Zum Zum.