Ask Jake Anything

Jake,

I have a racoon problem. When we purchased our home, there were two racoons in the area. They always ran when we made a noise or turned on the lights. As time went on, they had babies, bringing their number to 5. I was startled the other night when I realized the family had grown to 8 racoons. They have become bold and unafraid of noises.

Our area has a high incidence of rabies. I have decided the best course of action would be to poison these buggers. Animal control advised that we hire trappers, I do not have the several hundred dollars they want to charge. What is the best method to poison these racoons?

*pokes head into thread*

I guess racoons aren't as fun as sheep.

*ducks n runs*

Jake... what is the meaning of life?

42. Next question....

If Milli Vanilli falls down in the woods, does someone dub a sound?

Well I wouldn't poison them. I'd get out the 12 guage and go to work like a real man. Put them Varmits in da ground. If, however you are in touch with your feminine side (the one that channels Lucrezia Borgia, then any common rodenticide will do the job on the raccoons. However in some states it is illegal to poison raccoons, and any kids in the area will not take kindly to you should thye learn how thier dog/cat/ferret died.

Asked and asnwered already. 42.

*spanks Liona for answering!*

hehehehe see my earlier post.

Yes, unless they are on a comback tour using thier own voices.

I would LOVE to blast the little bastards with a gun. Unfortunately I live in a very densely populated area. I would most likely end up in jail if I discharged a shotgun. And other, more quiet guns stand a chance of a bad ricochet that would likely end up in someone's house.

Considering the perception that there is a difference between the rate at which time passes in SL compared to RL, how many minutes of fame can we expect?

wondering in wonderland

15 minutes RL. for purposes of fame factor, the fifteen minutes of fame alloted to any of us is not limited by the time compression of the game world.

Jake,

At the moment, there is a thread in "Off Topic" a-brewing. It has to do with the answer to the question: "why can't I marry my sister?" Care to offer an erudite legal response?

Well The easiest reason is you can't marry your sister because the law says you cannot. In truth the existence of this law preadates the creation of the US and is imported from common law. The principal that siblings should not marry is deeply ingrained into western cultures. The underlying rationale behind this is of course the propensity for birth defects for any child born out of the union. This has been scientifically confirmed by modern genetic research.

Its different with cousins. Only 24 states have laws the prohibit first cousins from marrying, and in some cultures there is a preference for cousins to marry. Furthermore modern science has determined that the riks of birth defects in a child born to first cousins is only marginally higher thant that in a child born to unrelated adults.

I would offer the Romanovs as an example of the above. Of course, hemophilia, a recessive trait on the X chromosome, was part of the Romanov line.

A tangentially related question: Has there ever been a case in which common law has been in conflict with federal or state law (I am speaking strictly about the US)? Or, is this question just too stupid to be answered? (I mean this last question in all sincerity)

I am not sure your question can be asnwere the way it is phrased. The US and its component states (except La.) is a common law jurisdiction. Common law relies on the principles of precedent and the jury system to propgate laws. So federal and state law can be considered common law.

However when traditional common law rules conflict with enactments (states and constitutional amendments) then federal and state enactments take precedence. However even with a statute in place, a body of common law will form around the intrepretation of that statute.

Thank you.

Jake, Will you Marry Me?

Well Rice, that is a good question. I suppose everything is possible. Einstien suggested that in an infinite universe every possibility must be actuality. So given that the universe has infinite possibilites, then some where along the line, in the infinte universe, is a fixed point in a given dimension where were we married and lived happily ever after. It could even be this dimension, but we have a lot of talking and exploring to do before we find out if that is our truth here.

Jake ,

If a Train Leaves Chicago at 11 am and travels East at 60 miles and hour,
and a train leaves Washinton at 10 am and travels West at 50 miles an hour,
When will rain?

When you are standing on the platform without an umbrella and the train is late. Murphy's law you know?

If I am on a train heading towards the station at the speed of light, and I throw a baseball towards the station at the speed of light, how fast is the ball going in reference to me? How fast is it going with reference to the station? Will the ball get to the station before me or will we arrive at the same time? Do you think Einstein was cute?

Intriguing question.

Initially I tried to dig back and work out the ordinay physics. Inertia demands that the momentum of the thrower be added to the momentumn of the thrown object. In that case, (assuming the ball was in the air) then ball will arrive before you.

However when we add the speed of light into the equation, then at the point you reach lightspeed, matter converts to energy and you and the ball are both nuclear. My thought is that light speed is currently the understood maximun speed in matter trans mission and thus the ball cannot exceed the speed of light.

Thus, Aimee, you have gone nuclear the ball has gone nuclear and the train, the station, and some portion of the sourrounding area, has been obliterated, and the goats and sheep will mutate for years afterwards because of the radion fallout you have caused.

And no, personally Einstien doesn't do it for me. If I had to ahve sex witha guy, it would be DMX.

Jake!

*huggles*

Still wuv me!

Also, Why do I order too much chinese

Of course I still love you willow!

As for ordering too much chinese-well years ago the chinese infiltrated England (for some reason the welsh, scots and irish are immune to the effect) with spies who set up a bunch little black boxes. Secret chinese satellites broadcast a signal to the boxes at night, which is then transmitted by the boxes to your brain. This signal causes you to crave chinese food, so you will be acclimated when the People's Liberation Army comes through.

Or you are addicted to MSG.

Or somewhere isn your back ground you are jewish, since we americans know the jewish people invented chinese food (thank god they did, i'd be lost without Kung Pao Chicken!)

Or maybe its because Tandoori looses its charm after so many years and well bangers and mash is bangers and mash.

And really Chinese always comes in huge portions and they deliver, so ordering any chinese will give you more than you need.

Hey Jake,
I've always been puzzled by this.... why did Betty keep chasing after Archie when, 98% of the time, he'd dump her in favor of spoiled, bitchy Veronica? And how on earth did she stay friends with Veronica after losing the supposed 'man of her dreams' to her over and over again? Is Betty just a hopeless doormat? Do you think she'll ever wise up, dump Archie and find a less shallow guy?

Well in fact more often than not Archie picks Betty over Veronica. If one reads archie digest, as well as Gals and Pals and the the Betty and Veronica Double digest, it is apparent that a central theme is Veronica's struggle with the fact that she can't get Archie away from Betty despite the fact that she is rich.

Veronica often learns that there are things daddy's money won't buy her.

Betty and Veronica are best freinds, and Archie is non-committal to both of them so they each struggle to get Archies attention. Thus the impact on their freindship is minimal. That might change if Archie ever got truly nailed down.