Ask Jake Anything

Hey Jake, What did happen in Area 51?

Darn lawyers and their fine print *sniffle*

how come you are avoiding this question? , did someone in a black suit tell you not to?

What is area 51? No record of such a plce exists, there for nothing must have happened ther. You questions are silly and nonsensical, and the products of the rantings of a conspiracy theorist.

I have no knowleged of sucha facility, senator.

You are going to get rich because you have a talking dog that can articulate thing. You are not giving the dog freedome in exchange for a partnership, you are giving it freedom and negotiating the partnership. Dogs can't drive. If Xcorp creates a human sapient dog, they ar ein the same fight.

If you don' think determining the rights and status of a talking dog is not going to be litigated in every way imaginable, you must not liove in america. I can think of a half doen suits the goverenment would file just to get a determination of status. You want to keep all the money from oprah appearances.

For god sakes don't hav esex with the dog. Do you really think an FCC that does not allow Janet jackson's boobies on the air is going to be un derstanding about a consensual relationship with a dog? No. sex. Ylpu want to be on tv, to sell the book deal and the movie deal. Also bestialitity's legality factor aside, the goverenment will want to make you and the dog go away. Best way to to that is to alleged youw ere transporting the donge between states to commit a lewd act. Its thin, but the governemnt has relieed on thinner.

Ahh, that makes sense. Trust me, I have no doubt the government would litigate. I am just kinda scratching my head as to what sort of crime the dog could commit just by existing. Believe me though, I would play up the Lassie vs the big bad meanie head gubment to the hilt. Never underestimate the power of Lassie who really can tell you Timmy has fallen in the well.


I and Lassie appear on Opra, we walk on stage and Opra greets us and we have a seat. The applause from the audience dies down and Opra asks the first question, "So, America is dying to know, are you and Lassie sleeping together?" Lassie and I look at each other and we both shake out heads and say, "no". Unfortunatly no one in America is going to believe that as it is way too juicy a gossip subject to let facts stand in the way. Then again, if people thought that; we might get a higher price for appearances, they would be a bit later in the evening or on a cable network. The government should be more worried about Oprah if she were to support us incase the gubment tried any funny business.

You do, if collete will lend you the paddle and the spanking chair.

Can I go home now, Jake? I'm tired, there is nobody here, and I don't wanna work anymore. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I'm not slackin' at all. I've posted like 25 times today.

edit: I forgot what thread this was.


Jake, wouldn't that make him a sleeslacker?

I'm pretty good with a paddle.

Say, Jake, What are your thoughts on the White Sox clenching the divison?

Can I pull my pants up now?

Hissssssss......