Ask Jake Anything

Well it helps if you dont buy them off the back of the truck parked next to the fishmart.


In all honesty silk should not smell of its own. One possibility is that it is fake silk, which doesn't breath as easily. Some shirts that say 100% silk have polyester woven in.

Assuming it is a high qaulity shirt, it may be that the fabric is woven so tightly it is trapping odors. I am told a good dry cleaning will do the trick.

No! It makes you a trendsetter!

Dear Jake,

Is there any shame in being Aimee's alt? What does Aimee Weebler have to say about all of this?

Sincerely,
Confused

There is no shame in being Aimee's Alt. It is an honor. But I felt that a for the record post was necessary because some people fail to see the humor and absurdity in alt claims, and I was worried that Aimee might get a baragge of IM's regarding my general misbehavior. Thus I wanted to clarify.

THE SITUATION

You are in New Orleans to be specific.

There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.

This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are photo journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

The situation is nearly hopeless.

You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.

Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

Suddenly you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is.

It's the President, George W. Bush.

At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever. You have two options - you can save the life of the President, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most famous men.

THE QUESTION

Here's the question..

Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

It does. But then there is no question in your post. You know what that means. Even you get spanked when you don't ask a question in my thread. Collete, may I borrow your paddle, Gonna spank Aimee myself.

I'd go digital. preserve the color, photshop the black and white later, if you want it.

That being said, I'd save the man. He is, after all, a fellow human being, and if ther ewas something I could to to stop him from losing his life. I would do it. Just because I am not a fan of his politcs does not mean I would watch him die. Just think how hard it would be to be the one to tell his wife and daughters he was dead?

Like many politicians he is a husband and a father, and a son. Hate his politcs, or if you cannot help yourself, hate him (though I would pity you for the venom you must have in yor heart), but do not wish him dead.

Dear Jake,

Are you sure that wasn't my plan from the start?

Love Aimee

Dear Jake,

What color is the best color ever?

MJ

Why do we drive on parkways, and park in driveways?

Two questions:

1)In the english language when you pluralize a word that ends in an LF, like Wolf or Half, the F changes to a V, as in Wolves or Halves. So why is it, since you know so much about smurfs, that when we speak of them, we don't call them smurves?

And

2) Why do men have nipples?

Thanks!

Crow

Instead, Can i get rid of my nipples? I don't need them.
Thanks!

Crow

Dear Jake,

How does text-to-speech software(i.e., paste a paragraph into the program, and it's read aloud in that peculiar voice) work, exactly? I recently got a free one to play with, and it's fun, like when I'd play with SimpleText in the computer lab back in high school.

I am not sure. I rather hoped it was.

The best color ever is the color of thunder.

Well the term driveway originates from a time when people used horse drawn carriages. Stables are icky smelly things and people with grand town homes did not want vistors to thier home to be be first confronted with stables-they spoil the view. Thus stables were located in the back of the property. In town houses this meant that a way through the facade (on the street) to the back needed to be created. The passageway was called a driveway, since carrives drove on it, as opposed to a walkway. The name has crried over to our modern times, where, because the garage is uzsed for storage, we park on the driveway.

A parkway is now usually defined as a two (or more) lane road with traffic in each direction separated by a scenic median. The history of the term is not so clear. See this from knowledge rush:

The parkways were the first US system of limited access highways. These are roads designed particularly for through traffic, upon which cross traffic has been eliminated or severely curtailed, to which entrances and exits are strictly controlled, and in which abutting landowners have no easement or right of access different from that enjoyed by the general public. Such highways are also called freeways, thruways, expressways, tollways, or belt-lines.
The parkways were designed for automobile traffic, predating such later limited-access highways as the Pennsylvania Turnpike, Germany's autobahns, and the United States Interstate highway system.

The first of these parkways were in and around the greater New York City area. Construction on the Bronx River Parkway began in 1907, and on the Long Island Parkway (also known as the Vanderbilt Parkway) in 1908. By the 1920s an extensive system of motor parkways was carrying a large volume of constant traffic in the area. Urban legend has it that the Bronx River Parkway and Hutchinson River Parkway were deliberately designed by the mayor at the time to have low bridges to prevent low income families from bringing their trailers to more "pristine" regions.

Since then, the name parkway has had some fun poked at it, as it is ironic that one would park on a driveway, and instead drive on a parkway. Today however, the name is more often used for scenic or historic drives like the national parkways – two-lane parkways with a relatively low speed limit, with national park land on either side. Examples are the CCC-built Blue Ridge Parkway / Skyline Drive in North Carolina and Virginia, and the Natchez Trace Parkway in Mississippi, Alabama, and Tennessee.

In Kentucky, the name parkway is used to designate a controlled-access highway built as a toll road. Many Kentucky parkways became freeways after the bonds that financed their construction were paid off, but retained their parkway designation. In the Greater New York City region, parkways are generally (but not always) controlled-access highways restricted to non-commercial traffic.

No. You need your nipples so Collette can give you a tittie twister for nor readind the previous questions.

Dear Jake,

Who the hell am I?

Sincerely
Confused

Because the smurfs aren't english of course. Besides they are just one of the words that don't, like proofs never becomes prooves. Or we have roofs not rooves (well we once had rooves but traded that in for roofs). Some words can go either way: Staffs can be Staves, Hoofs can be hooves, and dwarfs can be dwarves (they were dwarfs until tolkien made them dwarves to distinguish his fictional race. So it is Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, not Dwarves, but bilbo baggins and dnd players adventure with dwarves. Also a convention of actors who play jawas and ewoks are dwarfs, not dwarves).

I'd worry more about what you are goig to write and less about how the words get on the page or get from the page back inot speech. Voice technology is fine, but hang out in a yahoo chat and see the sort of literature generated by people with all kids of fancy technology to express themselves and nothing to say.

I mean who really wants to type OMG inot the compyter and hear it come out in jessica simpsons voice?

Dear Jake, what is the sharpest thing in the world?

My intellect and wit.

I was told it was a fart because it could rip through yer pants without leaving a whole. Is this statement false?

He did the same with elfs/elves.. I always say elves now..

Weird fellow..

Oh I'm supposed to ask a question aren't I? What will be the end of SecondLife?

a fart is, infact, natural gas, and thus pases through your pants and does not rip them. It is diffuse, not sharp.

The sharpest objects currentl in production are diamond bladed knives. Diamons have excellent properties as cutting tools because of thier hardness and thermal and firctional properties.

I suppose in theory one could make a monofilament cutting tool, with a wire edge only one or two molecules across. But such things are currently the realm of Shadowrun.

Also it may be that laser toold or some other particle cutter are sharper, tbut they are not really an object.